Norco Addiction, withdraw process

[Tat2guy]

My name is, well my name don't matter...I've read a lot of these and haven't ever commented... I'm 29 years old, and well bottom line I can take 30 norcos, the lil yellow bananas a day and not feel anything but normal.. I've been taking them for nine years.. I own a very successful business, and worked my *** off to make it from the ground up, I have 3 perfect kids and a beautiful wife that loves the hell out of me...I have money power and success.. And a ****** up addiction.. The work I do I can't just half *** it... Anyhow four months ago I stopped entirely went two months without ****.. Cold turkey wanted myself to feel the pain... And I did.. But I gave in a couple months ago.. My body wasn't working with my mind and I took two pills.. Felt like superman, told myself no I'm only takin two a day.. But you know how that goes. Bam right back to thirty a day
..here I am on day two of being clean, I have two more days till I go back to work.. The worst part is my wife looks at me like I'm a joke and am just going to start back any time.. What she don't know is she helped me so much last time... I just took one little bitty *** suboxone, and it didn't do ****... And no they aren't dr supplied.. I don't know I just know I deserve to hurt....I deserve this feeling..... But goddamn, it's so hard knowing I could take them and bam be back to superman in minutes... I was so ****** proud of myself last time I quit.... I just hate the mental anguish.. I have so much on my plate....

[Tat2guy]

Just took a suboxon, wow.. They took the day three withdrawals away, but I'm scared I'm trading one drug for another... Now I feel a completely different high, scary high actually, controllable but scary... Life must go on tho.. Im glad to hear someone else is going thru the same ****..

[Vecci4u]

Tat...

I know your life , I'm there.... I have great kids, my wife is gorgeous I have a great job,,,, I have all the superficial things I need... But you know what I really have nothing with these pills. It controls my entire day, it controls my life. Everything for us revolves around them in our pocket, hidden in our closet or wherever you hide them.

I feel like crap today taking only 1... And my body is screaming for more, but like pat said the pills turned on us... This is not fun anymore. Get off this ride with me m8?

[Pat1956100]

You have everything going for you but you aren't happy because you are addicted to pills.  You will be happy again once you beat this for good.  Be proud that you have started your detox.

[On2better]

It's time for you to get to know the real you. You're letting the anxiety take charge right now. The w/d are hard but doable. Weve been there, you can do this! You don't deserve pain and suffering, you didn't make a choice to become an addict, you just are. Let's say you had appendicitis that required surgery, would you deserve that pain and suffering? No!  And I understand that addiction involves a bit more free will, but not much.  We compulsively use, regardless of consequences. And we have to intervene (have our "surgery") to get better.  It *****, but then you're on the other side of it feeling like a million bucks again.  The anxiety is getting the best of you! Tell it to shut the ef up!

[Tat2guy]

I just have a knot in my stomach.. It's killing me.. I want this pain, I deserve this pain... I deserve worse then this, I'm so tired of using them using them Asa tool.. And weening myself off definitely will not work... My wife knows but I can't let her see my real shame.. I'm one of those guys who always finds the best and have changed so many people's lives in the process.. Now it's my own life I need to change... I don't ever let anyone in, or let them know thereal me..  I just need to cry or talk or maybe both...

[On2better]

You don't deserve to feel this way and believe me the guilt doesn't help.  You are moving in a positive direction, just don't look back and don't cave. Millions of people suffer with addiction and as lonely as ashamed as we feel, we are not alone.  It helps to open up, and we're here to listen and offer support.  I'm on day six without Norco and feeling more like myself every day. I went back to work, was able to socialize without problems, and the cravings were way better today.  The mental anguish will pass, being overwhelmed with life will pass.  One day at a time, my friend. You've quit for two month before, you can do this! Just don't fall back down the rabbit hole, and this is a great community.  Post and read, post and read, and remember, you are not alone!