OXYCONTIN IS A ***** EH???

[dachamp007]

Hi, i just wanted to put my two "cents" in on this subject.... .. Ive lead a life of addiction....to the fullest extremes...... I started smoking cigarettes at age 12....(still smoking..) then at about age 14, started smoking pot.... Then at around age 17, I started snorting cocaine...very heavily I might add..... I would go day to day with about 1.5 to 3.5 grams of coke daily... After about two years of coke i got sick of feeling so paranoid and sick of just letting drugs control my body altogether. I was clean (minus the pot) for about two years. And by the way, I am married now, and the person i shared my addiction with was my current girlfriend, whom is now my wife. So we both quit together....and life was great.... But i never got over the psychological problems of being an addict, i just swept them under a metaphorical rug.... So i ran into an old buddy from high school, who was seeking his high from opiates (percs at first.) I started with percs and loved.... i mean loved how they made me feel... I felt like I had ambition in life again... The ambition i had before i stated doing coke in the first place. But then it wasnt enough... 4 perc 5's a day just wasnt doing it anymore, then 10 wasnt enough.... Until I was introduced to snorting oxycontin... I remember the first time I snorted a 40mg pill.... I puked all over the place, the buzz was so intense.... well i know this is already a long story.... but to shorten it up... (sorta) I got all the way up to about 5 80's a day...(yea i know expensive at 30-40$$ an 80, but i had a great hookup...) And by the way this was all behind my wifes back..... So what did i do, i reached out to my wife for help when i hit rock bottom (when i couldnt afford to support my habit in the dark w/o her knowing....)   Well that was a bad idea all together....Turns out she herself never filled the psychological void of quitting a drug that insists on taking over the human mind.... (coke).... So at first she was so pissed off at me for hiding this from her...which then turned to curiosity about what i found so appealing about oky.... Again long story short....but she ended up just as bad as me on oxy... So then, we wanted help, by now we had an infant son, and didnt want drugs to control ourselves like it did just a couple of years ago. So i got in touch with a suboxone doctor... At first everything was great, the sub helped with w/d and made things bearable..... Everything was great again..... Until i relapsed while in outpatient suboxone treatment.... So then i was doing oxy again....as was my wife....ya know... just one more time, then were gonna start doin sub again.... Til it was about the money.... I would take subs when i couldnt afford oxy, then when we would get oxy, we would stop the subs and buy more...... Thats been about three years of that now,,,, our son is 3 years old now, and we are both in the very terrible situation of abusing both oxy and suboxone....so the point of this whole drug and alcohol induced ramble is to be careful... Suboxone is great!! but only if your psychologically ready to quit..... Im sorry for rambling, im just at wits end.... I dunno what to do anymore..... Subs dont take the edge off as much anymore.... Im scared.....

[snowflake620]

You and your wife really need to consider a treatment plan your little one needs both parents clean and sober to make it in this world and if you continue the way you are going it's not very likley he will have them. it' sounds like you are reaching out for help and that is the first step to recovery if you truly want to get clean it can be done but it is not easy you have to want it with every fiber of your being and then some.Please for you,your wife and your son's sake make that phone call,and stay with us we will help any way we can as far as support
           snow

[moonshyne777]

Never give up!! there is hope and although from where you are standing it may not seem like it but there is. you need to do this for your child if for no one else. I lost my mom waay too early in life to drugs. I cannot begin to explain how horrible not having my mom around is. I feel cheated and robbed from the many years we should have had together. PLEASE get back into treatment. Everyone says to avoid methadone but reading your story and the amount that you are doing maybe methadone maintenance would be a good option for you both. I considered it for myself but since I'm only doing about 100mgs a day methadone would be overkill in my situation so i am considering subutex. You posting is a good sign. You know down deep this madness needs to end and you want to get clean. Thats the main thing needed to start getting better. Make some calls and get into a treatment program. Your baby needs you. I also have 2 kids, a one year old and a 2 year old and I am determined to end the madness so they never have to suffer losing a mother like I did. You CAN do it. You can get this under control. Don't wait, waiting will only prolong your suffering. Pick up that phone and call and get help. God bless you and I hope you get help soon before its too late.

[fogmussher]

Be afraid. Be very afraid. You must not have hit bottom yet. You have givin enough of you time and money over to this do you think you will get bored soon. I would think so.... You are going to have to get a handle on this or it is going to take your life. If you have been in treatment and still slipped did you recognize the things that allowed you to slip? If you have showed up here ( and you have) Some part of you wants to put an end to this rediculous cycle. Do what ever it takes to set your mind to it. Mabe hypnosis. Your 3 year old is missing you and you don't even realize it. Treatment again if you have to. This is your life and deep down you know it. The guilt of time wasted is only going to get worse. If you feel like crying CRY! Unless you don't mind dying you have to do this! There is no way out.
Glad you are here. Everyday you wait your mind and body gets more damage. Some of which may be there for the rest of your life to remind you. You are needed here! So STOP IT!