Great to hear of your plan!!!
Your dose isn't that high right now so that is definitely in your favor.
To answer some of your questions.....
I worked through detox, all of it. I didn't feel good, I didn't want to be there but it truly helped to get me through it. The single best advice I EVER got for wd was to stay busy and to keep myself distracted.
The no sleeping was bad for me but I understood beforehand that it was normal and to be expected. I took it when I got it and tried not to get frustrated when it did not come.
Yes I have chronic pain too but found after getting clean that my pain was much more tolerable and when it does get bad I usually take Advil. I can't worry about the future, I will deal with it when it arrives but I am clean today and I'm doing ok.
I agree with Vicki, you will have the best training available for dealing with opiates and addiction in general. I have a friend in NA that went to see his doctor and he really opened up to him about his addiction. When he was leaving and still crying and upset, he said his doctor grabbed him and hugged him and told him he would help him, that he would be OK and that he TOO was in recovery and understood. YOU will carry that knowledge and will be better for it.
Step 1 is putting your plan in play. Do your homework and get it done. It is very doable.
You are incredibly wise to realize your issue at your young age. Keep us posted!!!
Pulling for you!!!!
bob
Okay, back from running errands. Got pretty much everything listed in Thomas' recipe, minus the benzodiazepines, I'm going to try chamomile and some other OTC sleep remedies and see how those work. I have an prescription for atavan if those dont work that I can fill anytime. I just flushed the OxyContin 5mg down the toilet and called the pharmacy to cancel my refills. My god, a month ago, you'd have to bring an army to wrestle those pills away from me...Feels like a weight lifted though, although, I'm starting to feel the beginning of the restlessness in my legs. Haven't taken a pill since I woke up at 6am. I think I'm going to make a trip to my local gym and go for a swim and lift some weights while I still have energy. I'm going to try and make it everyday I think, at least to swim.
Thanks for all the support, I'll keep everyone on here posted on my progress throughout the next well...however long it takes to shake this addiction.
Thanks again,
CH
Wow...i am so impressed with your enthusiasm.I am tickled pink that you are going to quit the opiates and start a new life clean from these drugs.
The experience will make you a better doctor and a will be a valuable life lesson.
You have so much to be clean for and a whole lot better life ahead of you.
Sending cyberhugs and congrats to you on your decision
Congrats on making the choice to get clean, I am a 21 year old girl and addicted to oxycontin, usually snort 2 or 3 80's a day and I buy them from the street which is about 40 dollars a pill so over 100 dollars a day. It is such a horrible and expensive habit. I admire your determination to stop, I have been addicted for about two years now and have tried to stop so many times, only to relapse after a few weeks. Eventually I broke down and went into rehab, and that seemed to work for several months, but now i've been back at it for a few months, and it is so shameful, dishonest, and makes me feel guilty. I relate to what you say, about getting everything done while on the pills, that is what makes it so hard for me to see that I need to stop. When I wake up and do the OC it gives me a boost throughout the day, I go to work, I clean, I am super enthusiastic, get a million things done, and then I try to stop, and I am depressed and sick, and it really messes with my head. I hate being dependent on a drug just to get through my day though. I tried to stop again today, but the pain of withdrawal led me right back to my dealer. I used to be so much more strong minded and could get through the WD and do this, and now I seem completely tired and unable. You seem like you're ready and it's so great how you've decided to stop. This experience will make you such a compassionate and understanding doctor, and your patients will most certainly notice that in you and gravitate to you because of that. Please keep me posted on how you're doing, I know a lot about WD as i've gone through it probably ten times myself, and i'd love to hear how you are doing to hopefully help to motivate me to stop as well.
Thats great I am soooo glad you decided to get clean. As far as flushing the pill I know how hard it was to do that. Didn't that give you a sense of empowerment. You will make it I know you are strong, you have proved it. It is not what we say it is what we do. GO GO GO. I am sending what strength I have left your way.
You are making the right choice!
I too was a medical student.... made it to my 4th year before getting canned for my drug use. Dont let all that hard work go to waste. I will never be able to obtain a Control License from the DEA due to my bad choices, but that is something I have to live with.
As far as the guilt, believe me I know. But also believe me when I say, the guilt you have now when you counsel patients is NOTHING compared to the guilt that you MAY be in for if you continue using.
During under grad, I worked as an OR tech on the open heart team. My opiate abuse began with IV sublimaze (Fentanyl) It got so out of control that I was using at work before, after, and while scrubbed in for procedures when possible. Dont let this demon get that far into you. Once I started residency, it only got worse.
WD's are something that can not be bypassed, but they are nothing to fear either. Working yourself up as to what to expect can make things so much worse for you. The first time I withdrew from the fent, I only had some dizziness.... thats because I had no idea what to expect. I didnt do any research, ignorance was bliss! And this was coming off of over 1200mcgs of IV fent a day! The mind is a powerful powerful thing.
Fast fwd, years later I put my medical career on hold, and began flying as an International Flight Attendant. I got on suboxone and started working a recovery program.
After two years of sub treatment, I am happy to say that I am recently suboxone and opiate free, and have never been happier.
You asked about suboxone, and if you should mention it. Personally, I would try and tough out the oxy wd's first, and only go the suboxone route if you can not do it CT first.
Sub can be a real lifesaver, literally. But I would exhaust all other options first for a few reasons.
+You are concerned about people finding out, suboxone is only approved for clinical treatment of opiate abuse. Most people dose more than once per day requiring you to have your meds on you. Would be a bad day if that bottle fell out of your locker at the hosp an someone saw it, game over.
+Suboxone will not take away the oxy wd's, it only suppresses them. You will still have to withdraw from suboxone unless you choose to be on it for life. There is no get out of jail free card.
+If you are concerned about oxy wd's for 7 days.... You are in for a ride with sub wd's. You mentioned your biggest fear being the RLS/Insomnia. While sub wd's are much more mild than oxy wd's, they last much much longer, and the RLS and insomnia is practically the same. I am currently on day 18 off of the suboxone, and I am still only sleeping 1-2hrs per night.
Suboxone has many benefits too if you choose to go that route, PM me and I can tell you all about it.
I just wanted to let you know, this can be done. And to do everything in your power to make it happen before your situation ends up like mine!
Best of luck to you my friend!