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Percocet Withdrawals
Hey all! I'm a 24 year old female who has been on percocets off and on for about 2 years. More on than off. I've only been able to stop twice. The first time I went through withdrawals, was tough for 2 days then the 3rd day was significantly better. At that time though I was only taking about 3-4 Perks a day. Stupidly, I started back on them again a few months later and have been on them for about 9 months. To where I stopped again. But this time, instead of only taking 3-4/day, I was taking upwards of 7-9/day. Perks/10s. When I made the decision to again go through the withdrawals, I only made it to day 2 and couldn't handle it and starting using again. I have now AGAIN chose to stop and am currently going through withdrawals. I'm now on Day 4, I feel ok, I believe most of the tough withdrawal symptoms are gone, the only ones I feel now are loss of energy, I can't sleep well at night without the aid of sleeping pills or xanax, but I just feel plain out tired and EXTREMELY depressed. I start crying at the drop of the hat. I am a single mother of 2 little girls and I'm all they have. No one in my life knows what I'm going through and I'm a little scared. How much longer will this last? The depression? The cravings for just wanting to go out there and just get ONE more? If I were to give in and go get the ONE would it set me back and start this grueling process over again? I just want to be done with these, but I'm afraid of relapsing. Please, any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
Oh and, I'm literally going through all this alone. No one knows, just like you. Once again, that's why you are my guardian angel and inspiration. Keep it up...if anything we'll do it together.
I'm quitting myself. I was on a habit of opium pods, the actual opium plant heads dried up and grinded and drank for about 9 months, the last two months I got on heroin and it was on and off, every 4-5 days the first month then the beginning of the last month every 2 days then the last week of using every day 2-3 bags snorted of 20 dollar bags which are pretty damn strong. And I was still using 5-6 jumbo sized opium plant heads here and there during this. I felt that feeling you had of relapsing before and again this time but with something much weaker thankfully. My last dose was wednesday at night (3 bags of heroin). Thursday cold turkey, Friday cold turkey until about 6 oclock where I took one little 50 mg ultram, Saturday in other words today cold turkey, and tomorrow most definitely cold turkey and beyond.
You just inspired me to a ridiculous extent. I'm having the same problems as you, no sleep really with something worse that's plagueing me. Severe restless leg syndrome. I definitely want to keep in touch with you because I had many of the same problems like crying my *** off and friday night was probably the worst where I cried so hard and prayed to God with insane amounts of tears in my eyes because the pain was unbearable...my blood pressure spiked, I couldn't breath, I got one of the worst migraines I ever had, I had horrible chills, and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. But I got through it and the next day I decided to go to the doctor and get some benzos for anxiety which was just a small dose enough for like 5 days and some clonidine to get my blood pressure down (when my doctor saw how high my blood pressure was he was scared for me...my withdrawal is horrible).
Anyway, my point is...you said you took one percocet. If you really want to succeed in this now, whatever percocet you have laying around THROW DOWN THE TOILET. I took like 20 ultram after I took that one ultram and threw it all down the toilet. Boy did I feel REAL good about that. I felt powerful. And then I went above and beyond and made it so I have no way to turn back. All my connections to opiates are gone. Impossible to get. My dealer for heroin, I threatened him to stop calling cause my parents will call the cops if he does and they ARE monitoring my phone. So I deleted his phone number and he actually stopped calling. Now you are clearly strong as hell for working and going through this...now I have more guts to get up and work out at least and do things with my girl in a couple days. You are a real inspiration but you MUST destroy all possibilities to get opiates for good. You can do it. I'm definitely saving your thread and keeping in touch because I need the support as bad as you need the support. I was on some pretty heavy stuff for a long time and I REALLY feel bad right now.
You just inspired me to a ridiculous extent. I'm having the same problems as you, no sleep really with something worse that's plagueing me. Severe restless leg syndrome. I definitely want to keep in touch with you because I had many of the same problems like crying my *** off and friday night was probably the worst where I cried so hard and prayed to God with insane amounts of tears in my eyes because the pain was unbearable...my blood pressure spiked, I couldn't breath, I got one of the worst migraines I ever had, I had horrible chills, and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. But I got through it and the next day I decided to go to the doctor and get some benzos for anxiety which was just a small dose enough for like 5 days and some clonidine to get my blood pressure down (when my doctor saw how high my blood pressure was he was scared for me...my withdrawal is horrible).
Anyway, my point is...you said you took one percocet. If you really want to succeed in this now, whatever percocet you have laying around THROW DOWN THE TOILET. I took like 20 ultram after I took that one ultram and threw it all down the toilet. Boy did I feel REAL good about that. I felt powerful. And then I went above and beyond and made it so I have no way to turn back. All my connections to opiates are gone. Impossible to get. My dealer for heroin, I threatened him to stop calling cause my parents will call the cops if he does and they ARE monitoring my phone. So I deleted his phone number and he actually stopped calling. Now you are clearly strong as hell for working and going through this...now I have more guts to get up and work out at least and do things with my girl in a couple days. You are a real inspiration but you MUST destroy all possibilities to get opiates for good. You can do it. I'm definitely saving your thread and keeping in touch because I need the support as bad as you need the support. I was on some pretty heavy stuff for a long time and I REALLY feel bad right now.
Hey there! I'm here...but not really doing ok! I sent you a message to your inbox. Thank you for your concern!
Hope your day is going better for you. I think it best to flush the pills. I know if there was any in the house right now, they would be inside of me.
Hang in there.
Hang in there.
Thank you so much again. Between you and Bob, I know I have GREAT support behind me. I also want to take the time now and CONGRATULATE YOU on your success! Hearing how well you are doing helps me to keep trudging along! Your story inspires me. If you can do it, I know I can do it as well! Soon enough I'll be right behind you! I had a little setback, but I'm back now. I have to keep my girls in my mind and the things I want to do with them. I know I HAVE to get there for THEM! And I WILL!
You truly are an inspiration to me and everyone who has gotten the privilege to talk to you and Bob! The both of you are right behind everyone giving your support! I'm hoping to be there with the both of you soon and encouraging the ones who are where I've been! I really can't thank the both of you enough!
You truly are an inspiration to me and everyone who has gotten the privilege to talk to you and Bob! The both of you are right behind everyone giving your support! I'm hoping to be there with the both of you soon and encouraging the ones who are where I've been! I really can't thank the both of you enough!
good for you. I always check to see if you are all right. Back on track and keep up the good work. Yes it is work. .....
It happens, don't beat yourself up. Get back on track and you will do well.
Hang in there.
Hang in there.
Hey Bob!
Thank you for your support! I understand that everyone here is nothing but supportive, even during the tough times. I truly appreciate that! I love posting and talking here, there are so many others I can relate to! Most of us, the people in our lives don't know, or just don't understand the trials we are facing with this. That's what makes this place so great!
You are right, I have to want this in order to succeed! AND I DO!! I think yesterday, I was just being so hard on myself and forgetting exactly what I was focusing on. I hate feeling like I've let myself and others around me down, it embarrasses me!
I've regained my senses and realized that feeling sorry for myself is not going to help! I just need to jump back on and continue. I see myself succeeding, I lost sight of that yesterday when they were in front of me, the mind is a terrible thing. I'm actually happy it happened the way it did, so I could feel that shame and guilt. I see what I would do to MYSELF for falling, I see that I'M the only one who would do this to myself, and now I see I'M the one that has to succeed. After I thought about it, I know I made a mistake, and blaming myself is just going to make things worse. I need to regain that positive attitude I had at Day 1. I can safely say, that it's back!
Now, when I even think of taking just ONE again, I'll remember the guilt it posed on me. I'll remember how shameful and embarrassing it was for me, and that will to succeed will grow even stronger!
Thank you so much for your support, it really helped and made me feel a little better for falling, I know I'm not the only one, I know I'm going to be fine. You are always there when I need someone Bob, you are a God Send to me! THANK YOU!!!!
Thank you for your support! I understand that everyone here is nothing but supportive, even during the tough times. I truly appreciate that! I love posting and talking here, there are so many others I can relate to! Most of us, the people in our lives don't know, or just don't understand the trials we are facing with this. That's what makes this place so great!
You are right, I have to want this in order to succeed! AND I DO!! I think yesterday, I was just being so hard on myself and forgetting exactly what I was focusing on. I hate feeling like I've let myself and others around me down, it embarrasses me!
I've regained my senses and realized that feeling sorry for myself is not going to help! I just need to jump back on and continue. I see myself succeeding, I lost sight of that yesterday when they were in front of me, the mind is a terrible thing. I'm actually happy it happened the way it did, so I could feel that shame and guilt. I see what I would do to MYSELF for falling, I see that I'M the only one who would do this to myself, and now I see I'M the one that has to succeed. After I thought about it, I know I made a mistake, and blaming myself is just going to make things worse. I need to regain that positive attitude I had at Day 1. I can safely say, that it's back!
Now, when I even think of taking just ONE again, I'll remember the guilt it posed on me. I'll remember how shameful and embarrassing it was for me, and that will to succeed will grow even stronger!
Thank you so much for your support, it really helped and made me feel a little better for falling, I know I'm not the only one, I know I'm going to be fine. You are always there when I need someone Bob, you are a God Send to me! THANK YOU!!!!
Hey,
Please understand that no one here willl ever think less of you for relapsing because everyone here has done the exact same thing. We know the guilt and shame and everything that comes with it too.We are here to support each other, using or not. I hope you understand this.
Taking one will not reset you to day one if you still want to do this. It doesn't sound like you are ready when you say you don't believe yourself.
This has to be something you have to want bad to make it happen. Remember, it's only one at this point, how many thousands more are you willing to take to get back to this same crossroad in your life???
You are so young still. I only wish I knew at your age what you do NOW. I would have saved myself from those thousands. It's all you baby!!!! This one's YOUR ride, you are the one that decides when to get off.
A 2 decade rider,
Still pulling hard for you that you find the answer,
bob
Please understand that no one here willl ever think less of you for relapsing because everyone here has done the exact same thing. We know the guilt and shame and everything that comes with it too.We are here to support each other, using or not. I hope you understand this.
Taking one will not reset you to day one if you still want to do this. It doesn't sound like you are ready when you say you don't believe yourself.
This has to be something you have to want bad to make it happen. Remember, it's only one at this point, how many thousands more are you willing to take to get back to this same crossroad in your life???
You are so young still. I only wish I knew at your age what you do NOW. I would have saved myself from those thousands. It's all you baby!!!! This one's YOUR ride, you are the one that decides when to get off.
A 2 decade rider,
Still pulling hard for you that you find the answer,
bob
I relapsed today. I guess I wasn't as strong as I keep trying to make myself believe I was. I was trying so hard to get through this. My legs wouldn't function at work...and I felt so bad. I'm sorry to those who supported me, and I'm also sorry to myself.
I realized afterwards the horrible decision I made, and am now beating myself up. It seemed like a quick fix, and it was, but now I feel worse. Time to start over. Tomorrow is going to again mark Day 1.
I felt so guilty and just horrible, I truly doubt I'm going to put my mind and heart through this again. For some reason I guess I just thought ONE would be ok, but after I took it, I realized that it wasn't going to be. That I just made a horrible and massive mistake. I really want to say I won't do it again, but for some reason at this exact moment, I don't even believe myself. But from the guilt I'm feeling, for not only letting myself down, but those around who supported me, I'm not sure I can do that to myself and everyone else again.
Starting over...tomorrow is Day 1. I'm sorry.
I realized afterwards the horrible decision I made, and am now beating myself up. It seemed like a quick fix, and it was, but now I feel worse. Time to start over. Tomorrow is going to again mark Day 1.
I felt so guilty and just horrible, I truly doubt I'm going to put my mind and heart through this again. For some reason I guess I just thought ONE would be ok, but after I took it, I realized that it wasn't going to be. That I just made a horrible and massive mistake. I really want to say I won't do it again, but for some reason at this exact moment, I don't even believe myself. But from the guilt I'm feeling, for not only letting myself down, but those around who supported me, I'm not sure I can do that to myself and everyone else again.
Starting over...tomorrow is Day 1. I'm sorry.
Hey,
Great job. Now you get your break and can relax a bit. The worst is over for the physical stuff. That's not to say it will be gone now but becomes more tolerable by the day.
As for the work thing.....that's why they pay us; because it $UCKS ha ha You can't give a thousand percent EVERYDAY stupid!!!! ha ha (man you have to change the name, c'mon already!!!)
Instead of priding yourself on your job, pehaps you should pride yourself on what you are now accomplishing. Heck, anybody can work hard. How many of us can do THIS!!!!!!
Hope you're doing well,
bob
Great job. Now you get your break and can relax a bit. The worst is over for the physical stuff. That's not to say it will be gone now but becomes more tolerable by the day.
As for the work thing.....that's why they pay us; because it $UCKS ha ha You can't give a thousand percent EVERYDAY stupid!!!! ha ha (man you have to change the name, c'mon already!!!)
Instead of priding yourself on your job, pehaps you should pride yourself on what you are now accomplishing. Heck, anybody can work hard. How many of us can do THIS!!!!!!
Hope you're doing well,
bob
another day at work and you made it throug!! next week will be much better for you
I think you made my day with you telling me that I made your day!
I will admit, it has been very tough getting through the past couple of days, but I feel incredibly accomplished for doing so! I'm still so tired, but I know I'm doing just fine, and that is a feeling I lost a while ago. I'm feeling things now that I haven't in a very long time. I'm able to think better.
Today at work was a little awful, I did manage, and did fine, but I wasn't very productive. It felt like I was trying to move around 2 blocks of cement. I placed myself in a position where I was constantly moving and not standing still, knowing if I were to stand still it would be that much worse on me and my mind. On the way to work, I couldn't stop crying haha! But when I got there, I was able to muster it up and do my job with a smile! I was looking around at everyone today, and how "normal" everyone was, I caught myself wishing I could just FEEL the way they did. I'm usually able to keep up but today I couldn't. I do feel GREAT I got through it unharmed, but I don't like feeling like I'm doing my job well. I pride myself on the work I do, today I was so ashamed. Trust me, I know it's going to get better, and it probably doesn't help that I think this way, but in a way, it helps me to improve and do things better.
I'm going to run and pick my youngest daughter up from the sitter, I'll be back on a little later.
Thank you Bob, you are always there when I need someone....
I will admit, it has been very tough getting through the past couple of days, but I feel incredibly accomplished for doing so! I'm still so tired, but I know I'm doing just fine, and that is a feeling I lost a while ago. I'm feeling things now that I haven't in a very long time. I'm able to think better.
Today at work was a little awful, I did manage, and did fine, but I wasn't very productive. It felt like I was trying to move around 2 blocks of cement. I placed myself in a position where I was constantly moving and not standing still, knowing if I were to stand still it would be that much worse on me and my mind. On the way to work, I couldn't stop crying haha! But when I got there, I was able to muster it up and do my job with a smile! I was looking around at everyone today, and how "normal" everyone was, I caught myself wishing I could just FEEL the way they did. I'm usually able to keep up but today I couldn't. I do feel GREAT I got through it unharmed, but I don't like feeling like I'm doing my job well. I pride myself on the work I do, today I was so ashamed. Trust me, I know it's going to get better, and it probably doesn't help that I think this way, but in a way, it helps me to improve and do things better.
I'm going to run and pick my youngest daughter up from the sitter, I'll be back on a little later.
Thank you Bob, you are always there when I need someone....
I think you just made my day knowing it went so well for you at work. You are doing awesome.
It truly is one day at a time. An old chinease proverb states: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" It is so true. If I was on day 1 and I was thinking about how hard it would be to get to 26 days, I could not have done it. Keep your goals short-term (like getting through work) which you are now doing.
It's party time when I get that 1st month!!!!! And by party time, I mean taking my kids out to do something fun!!!
You seem to be carrying all of the ingredients in the recipe to success.
I hope you got some sleep!!!!
Thanks for making my day,
bob
It truly is one day at a time. An old chinease proverb states: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" It is so true. If I was on day 1 and I was thinking about how hard it would be to get to 26 days, I could not have done it. Keep your goals short-term (like getting through work) which you are now doing.
It's party time when I get that 1st month!!!!! And by party time, I mean taking my kids out to do something fun!!!
You seem to be carrying all of the ingredients in the recipe to success.
I hope you got some sleep!!!!
Thanks for making my day,
bob
Thank you both for your support! Just coming home and hearing from you is what's encouraging me to continue on with a smile on my face! It is so hard, but I know it's for the better. That's all I kept saying tonight, this WILL get better, this WILL get better. My entire body is aching from the head down, I moved at the pace of a snail, but I MADE IT! How...I quite don't know yet, but I did fine. I even think I did a little better tonight than last night. I focused more on quality rather than time. It was SO hard though. I'm just SO happy it's over and I go back to working "normal" shifts! I will post more tomorrow, but I'm so tired, and am truly hoping tonight my body will let me sleep. I tried not to drink alot of coffee in hopes that I'll be tired enough to go sleep. Thank you!
I'm so happy you realize this shift is one more small hump to get over. Yes, you will get a break soon. Don't put so much pressure on yourself for sleep. It's quite normal to go without during this time.
You sound very strong mentally and that is excellent. It IS mind over matter.
That first week is getting so close. I can't wait to congratulate you!!!
bob
You sound very strong mentally and that is excellent. It IS mind over matter.
That first week is getting so close. I can't wait to congratulate you!!!
bob
You are doing great, hand in there, get the next shift done and by thenext time you have to pull a double shift, you will be felling so much better.
You in my prayers. I'm day 10 and feel so much better, Still tired and slightly achey, but way better.
You in my prayers. I'm day 10 and feel so much better, Still tired and slightly achey, but way better.
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