Kinda feeling....unstoppable yet again!!!

[ang_811]

Today is day 7 since Ive relapsed a couple tines n the past month. Everything is beginning to register n my mind again and i've got that feeling of being unstoppable again. This is how I felt when I got up to 50 sum days clean. This time I have learned more and gain more knowledge of what I need to do and what I need to stay away from. Everything is clicking.  God has sum big plans for me. Prayer works! God delivered me from my withdrawls the first time I got clean. I'm pretty sure he healed my mind and the way I was thinking this time around. I was getting ready to just give n to addiction again. This way is better, way better. At the time the party scene was fun, now that I look back at it and what I've done n the past month it's like what was I thinking? I wasn't! I let my addiction rule me once again. What can I say u live and u learn! After going thru relapse after relapse I didn't think I could stop. But I did. What a great feeling! I'm kinda proud of myself! Sorry if I'm bragging but it's just a great feeling being back to living clean and sober again. I 4got about how much fun my life is sober. It's a blast.!!! Things r gonna b different this time around. I feel it n my heart! God has given me the knowledge that I've been needing.  I know he has a plan for me.!  The more positive things I do and the more positive thoughts I have the better my days r looking.

[ang_811]

Thanks! I've learned that it's gonna b an everyday struggle an it's for life. I can do it. I have no other choice. Using isn't an option for me nemore. I guess I should use a different word rather then unstoppable I guess it's more that I feel alot more confident this time around. No more letting my guard down and thinking I cam handle temptation when it's n my face. I know now that I'm weak and powerless over pills and alcohol. B4 I thought well I have almost 2 months clean I can handle temptation. I was wrong!  I can't put myself n those situations nemore. I'm no longer surrounding myself with negative people. I have myself surrounded by positive people and people who wants whats best for me.  

[chronicmistake]

Just remember addiction is for life!  We are addicts and have to work the program everyday of our life.  I am proud of you and understand how happy you are sober, I feel the same way.  However, I will never feel unstoppable beause that is when you let your guard down and could possibly relapse.  Stay strong and keep us posted.