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1140865 tn?1270286736

Quitting Cocaine

Hello, I am new to this site!!

I am a cocaine addict sometimes taking from 2 - 3 grams/day.  It is ruining my life financially, socially, personally, morally, physically, pretty much in every way possible!  I have been late and missing work and barely just hanging on.

I have a great boyfriend, friends and family yet I continuously choose the drug over them, and not by choice.

The last time I did the drug was Sunday morning (binge since Fri)... I was shaking, heart racing, in the shower, crying and felt so alone and like dying... couldn't sleep and just wanted to feel normal.

Its been 2.5 days and I'm finding it sooo hard; I think about it all the time.  I am absolutely exhausted and have been sleeping 12+ hours a night; in a daze; eating so much (my body is craving all kinds of bad foods now) and I still feel out of control.  I don't know what to do!!  If anyone has words of advice this would really help.  Thanks! :)
9 Responses
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Avatar universal
Your not defeated yet and it's good to let emotions out, being numb is not a way to live. How are you feeling today? Are you still clean? Please keep posting and getting support, you can do this.

P.S. How long have you been using?
Helpful - 0
662972 tn?1270166301
Hey sweetie
YOU CAN DO THIS. We all on here will help you. Please dont throw your life away on coke or a man that says and does things that hurt you. Never let someone tell you that your not pretty enough or need better job, There is a man out there that thinks your wonderful just they way you are... Ever need to talk message me private, by note or comment. I was with a man that done that kind of thing and it can beat you down N make you feel like your worthless. Holliee
Helpful - 0
1140865 tn?1270286736
Thank you for your comments and advice.  It has been so hard, an hourly struggle.

The **** came down tonight when my boyfriend told me I was not pretty enough and I finally had the courage to stand up for myself.  I know I said my boyfriend was great, and on the surface he is, but the relationship has been hard on me emotionally, mentally.

It is so so so hard not to use at this moment... I am devastated.  I am sick of being criticized about my looks, my weight, my job... I'm not even overweight! and I have a great job! but its never enough.

I felt so good today, thinking about the upcoming year and how it would be a fresh start...

Right now I feel terrible, defeated... I just need to get these emotions out.

I'm really surprised at my strength to withstand coke; I just can't face another sleepless night!!
Helpful - 0
52704 tn?1387020797
To be in active addiction is to lose the power of choice.

I would suggest that you avoid thinking of withdrawal from cocaine as being all mental.  Addiction to cocaine (or opiates or alcohol . . . ) brings profound, physical changes to the brain.  You might not get dope sick in the early days like in withdrawal from opiates, but it's what's going on with the physical structure of the brain that brings us back.

When I was addicted to opiates, I suffered through the "physical" part of withdrawal (the sickness) too many times to count.  I was sick, but I could do that time after time after time.

But I ALWAYS went back.  I'd suffer through being dope sick for days, swearing that if I made it through that hell I'd NEVER go back, but I always did.

Why?

Poor thinking.  Failure to look at it the right way?  Being just plain dumb or crazy?  I don't think so.

I went back because I couldn't stand living inside a brain that didn't have the substance it needed to FEEL NORMAL.

Go get help.  If you can possibly go to in-patient rehab, go FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.  If you can't, start going to NA or AA and check out some out-patient treatment.  If you're in a big city you may find CA groups.  Get all the help you can from anyone who is serious about recovery.

Do not fall into the trap of thinking you can do this by yourself.  It's not all in your head, it's a deadly serious physical condition of your brain that will kill you if it's not forced into remission.  

Addiction does have significant emotional and spiritual aspects as well, for which we also need help, but it's next to impossible to address them until the physical grip of whatever substance is removed.

CATUF
1653

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
PLEASE PLEASE STOP THIS RIGHT NOW. I was a heroin addict for 13yrs and due to this site came off it. I had dabbled over the years with coke but nothing too bad. Then a few weeks ago i decided i would have a bash at coke, just a few lines to help lift my depression. Then things got seriously out of hand and i sometimes took as much as 2ozs in 2 days. I am now in a really bad way and have caused my brain serious damage, emotionally and physically. I now need serious pshyciatric help due to my little dabble. Gizzy is your man to help as he knows a lot about coke. More than most on here. Congrats on your clean time but please try and keep it going before you end up like me and itl take you years to right yourself again. You CAN do it. It takes you down so fast, your down before you even know it so please stick to it and keep posting. You will get excellent help and support here. I owe my life to some of the people on this site. They really do care and never judge you. James
Helpful - 0
198154 tn?1337787265
"I have a great boyfriend, friends and family yet I continuously choose the drug over them, and not by choice."

Of coarse its your choice.

Coke is hard to quit.  But it can be done.  People do it eeryday.  There only 1 way to do it.
Stay way fro EVERYONE who does it or can get it for you.  Delete all the numbers from your phone.  Theres no physical withdrawals from cocain..its all mental.  You want to quit bad enough...you will.

To be clear, were not taking about Rock, right? Just powder?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Welcome. And yes, you do have the choice, the choice to get help. The mental power of cocaine is so strong and no matter how hard I tried or how much I wanted to quit, I couldn't do it, till I got some help. What are you willing to do to quit? What is the longest you have stayed clean from blow? This drug will kill you fast, the only way I was able to quit, was an overdose and ambulance ride and near death experience so don't wait for that, the choice IS yours.

I really do understand how tough it is, it's hell at first, but we do heal and cravings become less and less with some clean time under our belt. Are you willing to get some aftercare to STAY clean? I created a couple journals and some health pages about cocaine so check them out if you have time. You don't have to be a prisioner to this evil drug, but it's gonna take some work. Cut all ties with dealers and DO NOT, socialize with those that use. I know you can do this if ya want it bad enough:) Message me anytime, life is waiting for you. Congrats on almost 3 days clean now.

Helpful - 0
1140934 tn?1285129785
Violet~ u can do it girl!!!! Just stay strong and postive!! one day at a time!!
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Welcome to the forum.  You will find a lot of support here.  There is one member here by the name of gizzy who will be on at some point.  He knows what you are going thru and has been clean 5 months from coke.  Keep checking back......sara
Helpful - 0
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495284 tn?1333894042
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