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RE-POST OF DBIRD'S REQUEST FOR HELP
We are SO sorry to have to remove all the wonderful comments you gave to Dbird, but sadly we had to delete JOEY30005's offer to sell drugs, which required that we remove all comments. We are also tracking "Joey" and will report him to the appropriate authorities when we find him. Thanks to all of you who are so wonderfully supportive & protective of the forum. If anyone sees ANY inappropriate postings, please let us know ASAP. Email: staff@medhelp.
MED HELP INTERNATIONAL
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Posted By: dbird on Monday, August 13, 2001
HI EVERYONE, IM A 25 YEAR OLD GUY WHO IS SLOWLY LETTING PAINKILLERS TAKE OVER MY LIFE.ITS TO THE POINT WERE I CAN'T WORK ,SOCIALIZE, OR DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING WITHOUT BEING HIGH. THE CRAZY THING IS IM NOT HIGH, IM NORMAL. [LET ME EXPLAIN]I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A VERY EMOTIONAL AND DEPRESSED PERSON, AND MY JUNIOR YEAR AT COLLEGE PUT ME OVER THE EDGE. I WENT FROM PAXIL TO PROZAC TO CELEXA. THESE MEDS NEVER REALLY HELPED.ONE DAY AT WORK A CO-WORKER GAVE ME A FEW ULTRAM.I FELT REALLY RELAXED AND NORMAL. NOW 2 YEARS LATER IM TAKING 10 VICODEN ES ADAY. I AM NEVER DEPRESSED AND FEEL NORMAL.I HATE THE DEEP DOWN SHAME I FEEL FOR DOING THIS.I THINK IT WOULD BE EASIER TO KILL MYSELF THAN RID MYSELF OF THIS ADDICTION. THE REASON BEING NOT THE PHYSICAL WITHDRAWL BUT THE MENTAL.I AM IN A SITUATION WERE I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT GO THROUGH AN IN PATIENT DETOX PROGRAM. I AM IN THE PROCESS OFF TAPPERING DOWN, BUT ALWAYS END UP FAILING.IF I CANT GET CLEAN , THIS IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE.
SO SCARED-NEED ADVICE,
MICHAEL
MED HELP INTERNATIONAL
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Posted By: dbird on Monday, August 13, 2001
HI EVERYONE, IM A 25 YEAR OLD GUY WHO IS SLOWLY LETTING PAINKILLERS TAKE OVER MY LIFE.ITS TO THE POINT WERE I CAN'T WORK ,SOCIALIZE, OR DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING WITHOUT BEING HIGH. THE CRAZY THING IS IM NOT HIGH, IM NORMAL. [LET ME EXPLAIN]I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A VERY EMOTIONAL AND DEPRESSED PERSON, AND MY JUNIOR YEAR AT COLLEGE PUT ME OVER THE EDGE. I WENT FROM PAXIL TO PROZAC TO CELEXA. THESE MEDS NEVER REALLY HELPED.ONE DAY AT WORK A CO-WORKER GAVE ME A FEW ULTRAM.I FELT REALLY RELAXED AND NORMAL. NOW 2 YEARS LATER IM TAKING 10 VICODEN ES ADAY. I AM NEVER DEPRESSED AND FEEL NORMAL.I HATE THE DEEP DOWN SHAME I FEEL FOR DOING THIS.I THINK IT WOULD BE EASIER TO KILL MYSELF THAN RID MYSELF OF THIS ADDICTION. THE REASON BEING NOT THE PHYSICAL WITHDRAWL BUT THE MENTAL.I AM IN A SITUATION WERE I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT GO THROUGH AN IN PATIENT DETOX PROGRAM. I AM IN THE PROCESS OFF TAPPERING DOWN, BUT ALWAYS END UP FAILING.IF I CANT GET CLEAN , THIS IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE.
SO SCARED-NEED ADVICE,
MICHAEL
Hi, & despite the interruption, welcome to the forum. Don't let one person's inappropriate post turn you away. You'll find some of the kindest, most knowledgeable, & understanding folks you could hope to meet here...and many of them have struggled with your problem. Many, many people here have gotten off of Vicodin & even stronger pain meds, some taking much, much more than you. There are plenty of people who can suggest ways to make withdrawing easier and more bearable.
My experience is not with opiates but barbiturates...which is why I started posting here. Believe me, I know how you feel, as depression & social anxiety are two major problems I'm struggling with right now. I know you're afraid -- I'm all too familiar with fear, also. So please know that you're not alone, and there is hope. I'm happy to share my experiences or hear more about yours if you'd like. Hang in there, & I hope to hear from you soon. -- Milo
My experience is not with opiates but barbiturates...which is why I started posting here. Believe me, I know how you feel, as depression & social anxiety are two major problems I'm struggling with right now. I know you're afraid -- I'm all too familiar with fear, also. So please know that you're not alone, and there is hope. I'm happy to share my experiences or hear more about yours if you'd like. Hang in there, & I hope to hear from you soon. -- Milo
Well maybe you read my earlier posts Michael, but I understand where you might be coming from I think, as far as the depression goes, I'm the same way. I've been prescribed Zoloft in the past for panic attacks, but it never worked as well as painkillers did. There was no euphoria with Zoloft, and it made my panic attacks MUCH worse, so I quit it immediately and switched to Percocet and Lortab 10s, though not LEGALLY of course. When I first discovered Percocet, I felt it was the perfect drug to take in place of my old marijuana habit, which I kicked in Dec. '99, but no drug will ever "let you off the hook", they will only temporarily ease the pain (mental or physical) and since I started it, I've been on a steady "3-months on, 3-months off" cycle. A yo-yo effect if you will, but each time the yo-yo has sunk down a little further. I'm now taking the "quit while I'm ahead" mentality I suppose, I think you should do the same. 25 is still very young, time to take the bull by the horns and kick this addiction square in the ASS!
But anyway, having just completed this 3rd, and so far, WORST day of WD from satan's evil percocet, I can say that given what I've been doing, it's not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. One thing that's really been annoying me today is the "vertigo" sensations, very strange, haven't had that happen before, anyone else have this??? A sort of "disillusionment" with everything around you, along with a pain behind the eyeballs and everything suddenly JUMPING OUT at you, then suddenly retreating back??? Very strange.
But regardless, I feel like I can live and breath again, instead of my life revolving around the dreaded "54 543" round white pill. I hadn't graduated to 10 a day just yet, but I was not far from it, and I was taking a bunch of other stuff as well. Eventually, what had once been "pleasure" turned into a horrible nausea that plagued me day and night, the drugs had locked into my system and wrapped their claws around my every thought and action. It all just turned into SICKNESS, and my willingness to do the simplest of tasks became nonexistent. In only 3 days of regimented personal detox and dietary supplementation, though, I've been able to reach a very positive headspace, regardless of all the anxiety and other side-effects. I haven't even THOUGHT about taking the Trazadone tonight either, and probably won't! The thought of being clean and sober is far too appealing, nothing will stand in the way. If I have to take a sleepless night tonight, so be it. This path is far too exciting already! ;-)
It sounds to me like you feel you've already GONE so far with the Vicodin that quitting just seems like an impossibility to you, but let's get real - SUICIDE?! Surely you know that, while detoxing IS difficult, there is a glorious light at the end of that tunnel, I'm personally 3 days closer to it and it is indescribably gorgeous!!! I think you might want to sit down and re-assess the BIG PICTURE. That's what I am doing moment-by-moment. I'm picturing myself in my 30s, 40s, 50s, and what I might be like if I'm still taking painkillers, or if I've even graduated to another, more powerful drug (I've always figured that, given my inherently addictive personality, if I ever tried heroin, it would be the end for me, I'd be an "instant lifelong junkie")! I'm picturing my liver dying day-by-day, my will to live diminishing exponentially, etc...and I tell you, I am FAR more horrified by such a thought then I am by the feeling of this withdrawal, thinking of that makes this whole thing a total walk in the park ;-)
I think I've said enough for now. Hope you find the path brother, keep the faith and you will.
Oh, and to you Ms. Jennyfla, I've read many of your posts and just want you to know that there is one more soul in this world that is in your spiritual corner. I wish you all the greatest things in life, God knows you deserve it! DO NOT give up, if there is one thing this world needs, it is good folks like yourself, please never forget that.
Thanks and hello (again) to the rest of you. I've already learned a great deal from everyone, and it's truly my privilege to make your (cyber) acquaintance.
-GJ
But anyway, having just completed this 3rd, and so far, WORST day of WD from satan's evil percocet, I can say that given what I've been doing, it's not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. One thing that's really been annoying me today is the "vertigo" sensations, very strange, haven't had that happen before, anyone else have this??? A sort of "disillusionment" with everything around you, along with a pain behind the eyeballs and everything suddenly JUMPING OUT at you, then suddenly retreating back??? Very strange.
But regardless, I feel like I can live and breath again, instead of my life revolving around the dreaded "54 543" round white pill. I hadn't graduated to 10 a day just yet, but I was not far from it, and I was taking a bunch of other stuff as well. Eventually, what had once been "pleasure" turned into a horrible nausea that plagued me day and night, the drugs had locked into my system and wrapped their claws around my every thought and action. It all just turned into SICKNESS, and my willingness to do the simplest of tasks became nonexistent. In only 3 days of regimented personal detox and dietary supplementation, though, I've been able to reach a very positive headspace, regardless of all the anxiety and other side-effects. I haven't even THOUGHT about taking the Trazadone tonight either, and probably won't! The thought of being clean and sober is far too appealing, nothing will stand in the way. If I have to take a sleepless night tonight, so be it. This path is far too exciting already! ;-)
It sounds to me like you feel you've already GONE so far with the Vicodin that quitting just seems like an impossibility to you, but let's get real - SUICIDE?! Surely you know that, while detoxing IS difficult, there is a glorious light at the end of that tunnel, I'm personally 3 days closer to it and it is indescribably gorgeous!!! I think you might want to sit down and re-assess the BIG PICTURE. That's what I am doing moment-by-moment. I'm picturing myself in my 30s, 40s, 50s, and what I might be like if I'm still taking painkillers, or if I've even graduated to another, more powerful drug (I've always figured that, given my inherently addictive personality, if I ever tried heroin, it would be the end for me, I'd be an "instant lifelong junkie")! I'm picturing my liver dying day-by-day, my will to live diminishing exponentially, etc...and I tell you, I am FAR more horrified by such a thought then I am by the feeling of this withdrawal, thinking of that makes this whole thing a total walk in the park ;-)
I think I've said enough for now. Hope you find the path brother, keep the faith and you will.
Oh, and to you Ms. Jennyfla, I've read many of your posts and just want you to know that there is one more soul in this world that is in your spiritual corner. I wish you all the greatest things in life, God knows you deserve it! DO NOT give up, if there is one thing this world needs, it is good folks like yourself, please never forget that.
Thanks and hello (again) to the rest of you. I've already learned a great deal from everyone, and it's truly my privilege to make your (cyber) acquaintance.
-GJ
Hello! I responded to your earlier post, but it got deleted. Welcome to the forum -- I can already see that you have a lot to contribute by way of experience & a great positive outlook. Good luck with the continued detox. This is just my opinion, but you might reconsider & go ahead & take the trazodone. It's nonaddictive, and, for me at least, everything seems so much easier to handle after a good night's sleep. But I fully understand your desire to be off everything right now. Hope to talk more in the future -- Milo
Hi Jenny, I also heard determination in your voice I know it is hard with everything your husband is putting you all through! He did not sound good at all when I talked to him I knew he was on something by the way he was slurring his words. Addiction sure is a family thing isin't it! Please call anytime you need help OK! Iwas actually thinking of filling my refill on a vicoprofen script and I don't really like the way it makes me feel just the high i get before puking! I am gald I came here before I did because reading about your husband with the needles really scared me! My father was a health professor who taught about addiction I could talk to him for you if you want me to.God forbid I talk to him about me right! Anyway if I was there I would come take care of your children anytime and let you focus on you. Do you have any good friends that can help you out? I know your family is coming down Do they know anything that is going on? Well remember I am here Love Julie
What peaceful words you have written. Yesterday for the heck of it I saw another forum and went on it to see what was up. Let me tell you I really feel sorry for the people that are writing there. There was not a MD monitoring and someone asked how to get drugs on the internet and they actually gave addresses. This forum is full of such wonderful people with such great advice. I take it from your posting that you are in your twenties is that right? You have such a wonderful life ahead of you and I give you so much credit for tackling this now. I am in my thirties and they are the best! Just always remember how one little pill can set you back. I had conquered my painkeller addiction so I thought and then was given that little not so innocent pill Ultram. NOT A GOOD THING! Well congratulations on 3 days every day will get better! I am here if you need me. Jules
PA - How is it going today? I do not know if you have read any of my posts but I am also a Ultram addict. I have cut my doses inhalf gradually but some days I am so tempted to take more. I usually come on this forum when I feel the urge and it helps! Have you cut down on your doses. Do not go cold turkey as you could have a siezure from doing so. Best of luck Jules
PA - How is it going today? I do not know if you have read any of my posts but I am also a Ultram addict. I have cut my doses inhalf gradually but some days I am so tempted to take more. I usually come on this forum when I feel the urge and it helps! Have you cut down on your doses. Do not go cold turkey as you could have a siezure from doing so. Best of luck Jules
Thank you Julie!!!!
Actually, my hub is much better today... (thank god!!!!)
I called the people at his rehab, and i think that knocked alittle sense into him. He didn't talk to them directly, but it kind of hits a nerve when it's out that you are not stricking with the program, and have not done what you've learned!
So far, today is good, taking it day-by-day. Still no alcohol for me, and down to minimums on the opiates. Gonna see if i can ease off so slowly that i hardly notice it as a lifechange.
Been taking a 1/2 a valium at night, really seems to help the creepiness a lot!!!!! Don't want another addiction, so i'm being cautious with that... Before kiddies, i used to love valiums, so i know i need to be careful!
Luck and prayers for you sweetie!
Thanks for being here!
Lv Jenny
Actually, my hub is much better today... (thank god!!!!)
I called the people at his rehab, and i think that knocked alittle sense into him. He didn't talk to them directly, but it kind of hits a nerve when it's out that you are not stricking with the program, and have not done what you've learned!
So far, today is good, taking it day-by-day. Still no alcohol for me, and down to minimums on the opiates. Gonna see if i can ease off so slowly that i hardly notice it as a lifechange.
Been taking a 1/2 a valium at night, really seems to help the creepiness a lot!!!!! Don't want another addiction, so i'm being cautious with that... Before kiddies, i used to love valiums, so i know i need to be careful!
Luck and prayers for you sweetie!
Thanks for being here!
Lv Jenny
Howdy!
It just so turned out that last night ended up being a real ******* for me, so I took one Trazadone, and almost miraculously, all my WD symptoms were GONE (as in "POOF!") within 5 minutes!!! I can't even explain it, but I was in the middle of some of the worst skin-crawls and headaches I've ever had, I was in tears, and in literal minutes after taking it, they stopped dead in their tracks...almost frightening how quickly/effectively it worked! Then I slept for 5 hrs straight and woke up feeling 2000% better.
Thanks for the welcome...again, hehe.
-GJ
It just so turned out that last night ended up being a real ******* for me, so I took one Trazadone, and almost miraculously, all my WD symptoms were GONE (as in "POOF!") within 5 minutes!!! I can't even explain it, but I was in the middle of some of the worst skin-crawls and headaches I've ever had, I was in tears, and in literal minutes after taking it, they stopped dead in their tracks...almost frightening how quickly/effectively it worked! Then I slept for 5 hrs straight and woke up feeling 2000% better.
Thanks for the welcome...again, hehe.
-GJ
Thank you, that was very kind of you to think of me right smack in the middle of your detox, and by the way, GOOD FOR YOU!!!!
You're gonna make it, i can tell!!!
The worst is over (physically), stay focused, and stay occupied in all that this wonderful world has to offer people who are 'awake and alive'!!!
You're right, herion is a deathtrap, never ever go there!!!!!!!
My levels are down quite a bit, alcohol is gone, and the world is already looking a little brighter each day!!!! My demon is i have access to pills again if i want them, i need to fight for my life and it's hard!!!!
Good luck and many prayers!
Lv Jenny
You're gonna make it, i can tell!!!
The worst is over (physically), stay focused, and stay occupied in all that this wonderful world has to offer people who are 'awake and alive'!!!
You're right, herion is a deathtrap, never ever go there!!!!!!!
My levels are down quite a bit, alcohol is gone, and the world is already looking a little brighter each day!!!! My demon is i have access to pills again if i want them, i need to fight for my life and it's hard!!!!
Good luck and many prayers!
Lv Jenny
Jenny -- It's good to hear you sounding a little more optimistic in your latest posts. I haven't been posting much lately -- depression -- but I've been wishing you the best all along.
GJ -- Glad to hear the trazodone worked such wonders for you! When I don't get enough sleep, I feel like pure hell! Keep us posted on your progress. -- Milo
GJ -- Glad to hear the trazodone worked such wonders for you! When I don't get enough sleep, I feel like pure hell! Keep us posted on your progress. -- Milo
well im new to this forum writing stuff Ive read hundreds of posts from dozens of forums all the while chewing, snorting eating oxycontin. Ussually 160mg a day sometimes more sometimes less. I dont really have any advice, all who have done it know what happens. without my meds I was nobody. I really felt like they gave me strength and courage. I was a fool. I remember a time when I didnt have to chew a 40mg to feel confident or have the strength to do something. No matter how good you feel on opiates I believe there is someone out there who feels even better without them. By that I mean all the people I have read about that successfully quit opiates. I know in my heart those are the strongest people in the world. You will be proud to stand among them, I am.
You must be ready to get help because you found this forum. You will find lots of help, love and support here. Alot of people that post here have had the same problem with oxycontin that you are having. This narcotic addiction is a wicked thing to overcome with the withdrawls etc. We all know that! Have you read about Thomas's detox recipe I am sure he would give it to you again if you are interested. Welcome and we are here for you Jules
GJ - What exactly is that medication you took and how did you feel today after taking it? Best wishes! Jules
GJ - What exactly is that medication you took and how did you feel today after taking it? Best wishes! Jules
....You'll never believe this one??? I was just dropping in to make a quick post to let everyone know I'm back, and when I finished this post (somewhere below) the phone rang. It was my Mother. So I minimized the thread I was glancing through to the bottom and got off line. When I returned, JB.... (I had just finished saying that I had know time to read the threads)..your posts stuck right out, and I was sooo saddened to read what you had been through. Don't ever think we don't care, cause I do. Please keep us posted on your health. Take Care, JB and I'll pray for you.
Love,
Angelica
Love,
Angelica
jbear - I think you're asking about the Trazadone? It's an antidepressant that also assists in sleep for people detoxifying. I was up last night until 7:30 AM (thank God no work today!), and after so 3 piping hot showers and several hours of fidgeting and headaches and all the other symptoms, I relented and went ahead with the Trazadone, and I'm not sure how exactly it's supposed to work, but somehow within 5 minutes, maybe LESS, all the WD symptoms just melted away in the span of 1-2 minutes. It was like instant relief, I remember at one point GASPING in relief! I then laid down and slept for almost five hours without any interruptions! I awoke to feel unbelievably regenerized.
Anyway, today I went for a run, and that really seemed to help move all the toxins around, although I felt like there was a rope tightened around my heart and I was DEAD tired at the end. Either way, I think it helped to get out and get some air. Oh, and jbear, I'm a mere 21 years old. Young and slightly stupid but I'm learning, lol.
Jennyfla, good to hear you're doing well with the alcohol in spite of what your husband seems to be doing. Keep the faith sista!!! Stay positive and hear NOTHING of your self-doubts, that's the only thing that's gotten me through these past few days...
Awright, talk at you all later! ;-)
-GJ
Anyway, today I went for a run, and that really seemed to help move all the toxins around, although I felt like there was a rope tightened around my heart and I was DEAD tired at the end. Either way, I think it helped to get out and get some air. Oh, and jbear, I'm a mere 21 years old. Young and slightly stupid but I'm learning, lol.
Jennyfla, good to hear you're doing well with the alcohol in spite of what your husband seems to be doing. Keep the faith sista!!! Stay positive and hear NOTHING of your self-doubts, that's the only thing that's gotten me through these past few days...
Awright, talk at you all later! ;-)
-GJ
I'm glad the meds are working for you GJ, nothing wrong with taking a little something that is completely harmless to get you through the rough parts...
Milo, i hope your depression lifts soon... it's all part of getting through the changes you have made in your life...things will start to look up soon!
Prayers!
Lv Jenny
Milo, i hope your depression lifts soon... it's all part of getting through the changes you have made in your life...things will start to look up soon!
Prayers!
Lv Jenny
My husband is getting worse by the day... his attitude and depression is increasing my the moments... he says he will feel better once he gets busy with his new job which he starts on monday, but today he doesn't even sound so sure about that anymore..
He has been using on and off, not sure about alcohol, but i don't think so. He told me that if he has to go back to rehab, that he would "blow his brains out" first!!!
I know the only reason he isn't drinking is because of me... if it weren't for me, he'd be using and drinking like he used to.
What the hell was the point of all that money that was spent and all the work he and people put forth for him!!!!!
I'm starting to feel sorry that i ever even pursued and forced him into rehab. I thought he was ready and willing, and i was watching him kill himself, slowly.... he was looking so good, and was acting so healthy.
I told him he's only fallen off the tracks, he hasn't ruined anything, it time to get back on the track and do what he needs to do in order to live free of addiction!!! Get up and try again, you haven't failed, it's just a temporary setback!
:(
I have the kids coming home again from school at 2, and i called hub and he nodded out while on the phone... now the phone is off the hook.... i have to go home during lunch and make sure everything is ok. i don't want the kids coming home to a mess of a daddy! My F*&king car's in the shop again, so i have the old '87 chevy pickup again!!! All i can say is no one even tries to get in my way when i'm driving that beast!!!
Wish me luck, and prayers!
Thank you all again, so very much... and thank you for your emails and voices of concerns!
Love you guys and need you all very very much!!!!!!! forever, you're stuck with me!
Lv Jenny
He has been using on and off, not sure about alcohol, but i don't think so. He told me that if he has to go back to rehab, that he would "blow his brains out" first!!!
I know the only reason he isn't drinking is because of me... if it weren't for me, he'd be using and drinking like he used to.
What the hell was the point of all that money that was spent and all the work he and people put forth for him!!!!!
I'm starting to feel sorry that i ever even pursued and forced him into rehab. I thought he was ready and willing, and i was watching him kill himself, slowly.... he was looking so good, and was acting so healthy.
I told him he's only fallen off the tracks, he hasn't ruined anything, it time to get back on the track and do what he needs to do in order to live free of addiction!!! Get up and try again, you haven't failed, it's just a temporary setback!
:(
I have the kids coming home again from school at 2, and i called hub and he nodded out while on the phone... now the phone is off the hook.... i have to go home during lunch and make sure everything is ok. i don't want the kids coming home to a mess of a daddy! My F*&king car's in the shop again, so i have the old '87 chevy pickup again!!! All i can say is no one even tries to get in my way when i'm driving that beast!!!
Wish me luck, and prayers!
Thank you all again, so very much... and thank you for your emails and voices of concerns!
Love you guys and need you all very very much!!!!!!! forever, you're stuck with me!
Lv Jenny
Jenny I wish I could get on a plane and come help you. I wish I could just make everything better for you. I don't know what to do except be here I will call you at work.
MILO - I am also so sorry to hear that you are depressed. You bring so much to this forum I hope you realize that I along with many others have benefited from your words. Take care of yourself Jules
DATA - Are you around How are you today?
MILO - I am also so sorry to hear that you are depressed. You bring so much to this forum I hope you realize that I along with many others have benefited from your words. Take care of yourself Jules
DATA - Are you around How are you today?
Hi jenny-
I just spent hours reading through this forum and EVERYTHING you have said has stuck with me for days. I'm a mom of 2, but divorced now because pills tore our marriage apart. My ex just went back to rehab on monday and I detoxed about 10 days ago. I related to EVERYTHING you have said and I'm just wondering how you are doing now and if your clean and sober and what has it taken for you to stay that way. I used to go to AA, but it just wasn't working for me and I have considered going to NA this time. I work from home and have no medical insurance, so going to a treatment center isn't an option. I really loved everything you had to say and you seem like you have the same silly sense of humor that I have and care about your babies just like I do, but want them to have a CLEAN, HAPPY mommy....Right now I still dont feel like I have tons of energy and feel very lethargic and I'm wondering if that is completely normal. I think you tried to get off of the meds the same day I did and am wondering what your doing to get through each day. I dont feel as if I want pills or alcohol, but I still feel not motivated and tired. I have been on 100 mg of Zoloft for about 6 months and have no idea if that is helping. If you have any words of encouragement or need to get something off your chest, just shoot. I think I'm gonna be on this forum for a while....it seems to be helping....thanks Jen and everyone....
-kristen
I just spent hours reading through this forum and EVERYTHING you have said has stuck with me for days. I'm a mom of 2, but divorced now because pills tore our marriage apart. My ex just went back to rehab on monday and I detoxed about 10 days ago. I related to EVERYTHING you have said and I'm just wondering how you are doing now and if your clean and sober and what has it taken for you to stay that way. I used to go to AA, but it just wasn't working for me and I have considered going to NA this time. I work from home and have no medical insurance, so going to a treatment center isn't an option. I really loved everything you had to say and you seem like you have the same silly sense of humor that I have and care about your babies just like I do, but want them to have a CLEAN, HAPPY mommy....Right now I still dont feel like I have tons of energy and feel very lethargic and I'm wondering if that is completely normal. I think you tried to get off of the meds the same day I did and am wondering what your doing to get through each day. I dont feel as if I want pills or alcohol, but I still feel not motivated and tired. I have been on 100 mg of Zoloft for about 6 months and have no idea if that is helping. If you have any words of encouragement or need to get something off your chest, just shoot. I think I'm gonna be on this forum for a while....it seems to be helping....thanks Jen and everyone....
-kristen
Hi Kristen,
Nice to see you posting! I really admire how hard you are working on yourself, and the support you are offering Jenny and us all. :-)
I wonder if you might talk to the Doc who prescribes your Zoloft and ask if the dose of 100mgs is the right dose for you. I'm a shrink, and work in a Psychiatry clinic..the Docs there usually get people up to 150mgs of Zoloft, and say that is the standard dose.
Just figured I'd toss that out there..maybe you aren't on enough zoloft for it to help as much as it could.
thanks again and lots of love,
WW
Nice to see you posting! I really admire how hard you are working on yourself, and the support you are offering Jenny and us all. :-)
I wonder if you might talk to the Doc who prescribes your Zoloft and ask if the dose of 100mgs is the right dose for you. I'm a shrink, and work in a Psychiatry clinic..the Docs there usually get people up to 150mgs of Zoloft, and say that is the standard dose.
Just figured I'd toss that out there..maybe you aren't on enough zoloft for it to help as much as it could.
thanks again and lots of love,
WW
Thanks so much for your support....I dont have medical insurance right now, so I guess I could up my dose on my own and see what happens....I really look forward to chatting with people on here, it really keeps me occupied...I know I have a LONG road ahead of me, but I'm taking each day at a time, trying not to worry too much about a relapse. My boys are 9 and 4 and are wonderful and I HAVE to do this for them if anything....There dad is an alcoholic and I'm an addict, co-dependent, everything, so I HAVE to do whatever it takes to break the cycle, if at all possible. I'm not sure what this feeling I'm having is of not wanting to do anything, but I hope I will soon be back to my old self, laughing, motivated, etc. Its been a LONG time. I dont really have alot of people that understand me to talk to, my parents think I'm an idiot and dont understand I AM the way I am...they think I can just say NO and thats IT.....and I cant just say NO.....I'm too weak and need there support and love and they just dont see that.....so I am reaching out for anything from anyone....I related to everything Jenny had written...especially having young kids and always trying to keep everything together....and if we dont, we feel guilt, shame, anger, resentment....got to run....
I wish every one who had to go through dt's had a computer and could visit this forum. It has now been 57 hours 34min 18 sec since my last 10mg methadone pill( I was orriginally on 160mg of oxycontin then switched to methadone and tapperred) I have not really slept well at all but Im hangin in there and I see the light. Every minute is a challenge but every minute Im closer to the end of this ride, and what a ride it is. Anyone taking the big step to quitting it might help to think like I do but this is just my opinion - savor how horrible you feel and mabey it will make you think twice about jumping back on the narcotic wagon. I feel sick but every minute you hold on your closer to the light. And you will be a better man/woman for it. My love goes out to everyone. -data
KICK ASS DATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is awesome, and I agree with you. Anyone should think of a withdrawal as a LESSON. I do the same thing, I never ever ever ever ever ever want to deal with this **** again. That's quite amazing you remember the EXACT time that it's been, hehe. Eventually, you won't remember and that will be a GOOD thing right? ;-)
Kristen, I very much sympathize with your dilemma. Before I quit my pills, I came clean to my mother about my problem and she has my total support and it is helping unbelievably! If you need to hang around the forum and talk it out then by all means KEEP DOING SO! You're not alone on this entirely. Maybe if you picture yourself having a good 1, 2, 3, 6 months off the pills and being able to tell the folks how well you are doing, maybe that will be an inspiration eh!?! I hate to say it, but I think you will HAVE to "just say no" at some point, if you're going to get through this for the long haul. But keep it up, keep awn pushiiiin'......Ick gotta go, headaches headaches headaches...blah!!!!!!
-GJ
Kristen, I very much sympathize with your dilemma. Before I quit my pills, I came clean to my mother about my problem and she has my total support and it is helping unbelievably! If you need to hang around the forum and talk it out then by all means KEEP DOING SO! You're not alone on this entirely. Maybe if you picture yourself having a good 1, 2, 3, 6 months off the pills and being able to tell the folks how well you are doing, maybe that will be an inspiration eh!?! I hate to say it, but I think you will HAVE to "just say no" at some point, if you're going to get through this for the long haul. But keep it up, keep awn pushiiiin'......Ick gotta go, headaches headaches headaches...blah!!!!!!
-GJ
Hi Jenny, I feel so bad for you and wish that I could come and help you out with the kids etc. I woke up this morning to a phone call from my boyfriend Joe who was crying because he flipped out last night and used. Chewed up a 40mg of oxy after 2 weeks of withdrawal and detox. I told him that I can't deal with him trying this detox on his own any more. He did the meth thing and now hes doing oxy again. I finally convinced him to go into a rehab. He is seeing the shrink tomorrow and hopefully will be in by Friday. I know how hard it must be for you. My kids are grown now but I remember the energy needed when they were small. My heart goes out to you and my prayers are with you. Keep the faith and remember how good you feel when you are clean and sober. Peace & Love
i wanted to quickly post, it's really really late so i will try to post more tomorrow.
I wanted to say that you are both doing FANTASTIC, and keep being strong and keep on going, it will get better.
Kristen, i'm not completely off the pills yet, although down much further... they say the 'lack of wanting to do anything' will go away over time. You will get to a point where it gets easier and easier every day!
What was suggested by my husband is to try to walk, jog anything to work the toxins out as quickly as possible. The more you move the faster and easier and better you will feel. Plus, i believe exercise releases dopamine, or one of those brain chemicals that makes you feel happy and alive.
That would be the best suggestion i can give, and it really truly works too. Even if you feel horrible, and no energy at all. Try to run at night, that's what i like to do because it's so darn hot in Florida during the day. Plus, i love to look up at the stars!!!
Good luck to you both.
Kristen, my personal email is ***@****
please email me, and we can talk, maybe even get on instant message and we can help support eachother one-on-one. It's definately a challenge when you have young children.
Look me up, i have aol im just put jennyinfla in your buddy list, and it should come up. I mean it, i'm here for you, there's no reason you should feel alone with this great bunch of people of this wonderful forum!
Good luck, we'll talk soon!
((HUGS))
Lv Jenny
I wanted to say that you are both doing FANTASTIC, and keep being strong and keep on going, it will get better.
Kristen, i'm not completely off the pills yet, although down much further... they say the 'lack of wanting to do anything' will go away over time. You will get to a point where it gets easier and easier every day!
What was suggested by my husband is to try to walk, jog anything to work the toxins out as quickly as possible. The more you move the faster and easier and better you will feel. Plus, i believe exercise releases dopamine, or one of those brain chemicals that makes you feel happy and alive.
That would be the best suggestion i can give, and it really truly works too. Even if you feel horrible, and no energy at all. Try to run at night, that's what i like to do because it's so darn hot in Florida during the day. Plus, i love to look up at the stars!!!
Good luck to you both.
Kristen, my personal email is ***@****
please email me, and we can talk, maybe even get on instant message and we can help support eachother one-on-one. It's definately a challenge when you have young children.
Look me up, i have aol im just put jennyinfla in your buddy list, and it should come up. I mean it, i'm here for you, there's no reason you should feel alone with this great bunch of people of this wonderful forum!
Good luck, we'll talk soon!
((HUGS))
Lv Jenny
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