Councelor

[catlover8]

I am seeing a councelor for the first time today. I keep wanting to get out of it. I am scared and nervous. I have huge problems other than just the pills I was taking 35 days ago. I need real help but I am not sure how much I can come out and say.  

[gnarly_1]

HI just to let you know I see a substance abuse conslor 1 a week...have been for over a yr ...he was there when I decided to get off methadone and helped me thew the whole proses ...you get to talk about whatever...it really dosent mater but in the end you get what you need out of it...Paul has helped me thew many an emotional crises he use to be in active addiction himself 13 yrs ago and always has good advise and a smile
sometimes we talk about withdrawals sometimes about P.A.W.S sometimes just about how im feeling and dealing with all the changes in my life but it is always a positive experience...I highly recommend it to help with recovery you'll be surprised at how well it goes with a trained professional ....It has helped keep me clean 134 days now and I look forward to our weekly meetings so give it a chance you will be happy you did...good luck and God bless....Gnarly      

[Charetti]

It sounds like your anxiety is boss here.  And that anxiety is your addictions way of saying "no way!".  Dont let it win, fight back, do the complete opposite of what your normal behavior dictates.  We all took pills to quiet our pain, emotional and physical.  Now when we need so badly to open up we have lost the ability to do so.

So step outside the box and do it!!  It would be completely OK to spend this first session talking about why this is so difficult for you.  Once you get past this bridge it will be so much easier.

[catlover8]

All I can think about is how badly I do not want to spend my evening doing this. I have other things I would rather be doing. Not to mention all the anxiety related to going. I will give this a shot, though. On top  of all of this, I am constantly worrying about the lack of sleep I will have tonight since that is all I have known for the past week. I have so many worries right now. I feel like I am drowning, and I do not know how to get out. Sleep is a huge one, and I don't feel like it will ever be resolved.

[witsend0603]

Wow.. I know EXACTLY how you feel ... on Monday afternoon my husband and I went to meet with our pastor.. I was terrified .. shaking before we went and shaking still when we got into his office.. crying .. felt like my heart was gonna beat right out of my chest... total anxiety.. but you wouldn't believe how different things were once we got in there and started talking to him... total compassion and supportiveness.. he was blunt and to the point but at the same time showed the most caring I could ever imagine ... I told my husband before we went that this would be hard enough to talk about with a total stranger .. but with someone that knows us so well and someone who I have sooo much respect for... that made it tougher ... but we did it and it was WONDERFUL. I felt a huge weight lifted off of me... at least give it a shot and like everyone else said.. if you don't feel comfortable with this one ... switch til you find one you do feel comfy with.. God bless and best wishes .. I hope you go..

[catlover8]

Trust it will go the way it is supposed to go? I will try. I will let you all know.

[sweatinit]

You can control how the session goes. As the others have stated above, talk about the things are are comfortable talking about. that may change over time.

Can you just trust that it'll go the way it is supposed to go?

I hear your anxiety in your post. I had teh same anxiety walking into to an aa meeting and I;m still alive :) You'll do fine. If it turns into something that youre not prepared for, you can always leave. Good luck!

[catlover8]

I feel like many have said on here before. I feel like I am not ready to come out and start talking about everything. That I would rather listen and find my footing first. Unfortunately, this is not NA and I do not have a chance to just sit there and listen. I will be the only one. I know she is going to ask me what stressors I have and such. I have some pretty big issues that I am not ready to come out with yet. I can talk about the addiction and how that has made me feel but I am not so sure I can talk about the things that caused it or the things it caused. The reason I made the appointment in the first place was because I was so depressed the first twenty some odd days. I wanted a plan to feel better. Then, I started to feel better. Now, I don't want to go, but I know I have to. My mom really wants me to go as do my friends. I just don't know what I am going to say. There are huge things that I cannot just leave out. Because these things are either reasons or consequences of drug use but I am just not ready to disclose them. I am not ready to start fixing them. I am just plain not ready for this. I am like freaking out.

[moonshyne777]

Charetti is right, once you find the ''right'' one (it may very well be the person you are going to see today) you will feel comfortable sharing with her. I can imagine how nervous you must be but you are taking a huge step in your recovery. I am in the process of trying to find a good therapist and wish I had lined one up before I quit. The depression and anxiety got the best of me and I ended up relapsing a few weeks into recovery. I remember you because I quit around the same time as you. You are a strong lady and you are doing amazing!! You should feel so proud of yourself and getting help will really help you in your recovery. Let us know how it all goes.

[Charetti]

Say as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. Also remember that counselors are people and have varied methods and approaches, if you dont feel good about this one find another.  You will know when you are comfortable spilling your story so just check it out.  If they ask a question that feels uncomfortable just tell them so.  You should be in charge of your time with them so dont ever feel pushed.  However once you find the right person, and hopefully this one is, you will open a whole new world of self healing.  Been there!!