Relapsed

[CBS426]

I recently relapsed after having a short amount of time clean. I've been a heroin addict for the last 3 years, but have been in recovery since March. I recently found out that I have Hep C, which isn't why I relapsed. I don't know why I used. I moved back home after going to treatment for 3 months, and then living in a sober community for 3 months. I have a 7 year old son who lives in Ohio, and I must live here in order to be an active mother. I share custody with his father. I get lonely. That's why I think I relapsed. I don't want to be alone. I don't like being a lone. The only person I really have here is my mother who as much as I love her, I can only latch on to her for so long until that doesn't fill the void. I've always struggled with being alone. I have a real issue with it. I've only been in bad unhealthy relationships. Anyway, I haven't been using that long or that much. I really want to get back on track before I get too bad that I can't come back. I know this is life or death for me, and I really do want it. Please give me some advice before I lose everything. I do have some withdrawal, and am sure I'll feel really crumby tomorrow. Anything I can take over the counter that might help. It's mostly just the hot skin, frog in my throat, hard to sleep, and achy feeling. I'm not to the point with vomitting is really an issue.

[worried878]

btw..u r much too young and pretty to feel this way for too long  (:

[worried878]

have you looked into finding a meeting near you?  [phone]
sounds like u may be feeling a bit depressed cos the drugs are not a companion nor do they keep u from feeling lonely..as we both know they serve to isolate u more so as a rule...the meetings can provide companionship and help you thru this phase...learning to be happy with ourselves is a step we all have to face at some time in our lives as we can not depend on anyone else in reality except ourself...cos anyone else can be taken from us or go away...so we are stuck with ourselves i guess so we better like who we are...my daughter/going though a divorce/is trying her best to do this same thing as she cant be alone and be happy either...until we can it is hard to have a healthy relationship..there is alot of self help groups and therapy for this kind of thing as it is very common...dont feel alone...what can you do to help the situation?