Still in withdrawal-but made that phone call

[Pat1956100]

Ugh, still feeling rough.  Did get some sleep BUT I phoned and made an appointment with a drug addiction councilor.  They do a group intake and ***** you there.  He corrected me that they were councilors not therapists whatever that means.  I said "well you're good, aren't you" and he just laughed.
Anyway, we shall see what happens.  They assess you and see if you need rehab.
Does anyone know if they will take you for rehab if you are clean?
Just wondering, not that I am gong to use to get into rehab but will I fall to the bottom of the list because I am clean.  My appointment is in one week.  Long way to go until then.

[Teresa1717]

I am so incredibly proud of you for making that call Pat! :)

[conhall]

Thats Great news Pat very Important step into your recovery :)))
I am sure they will take you clean and one week will be here before you know it. Look at all the time that has pasted since you took your first pill. for me it was years and time gets away from us But you My friend are making important steps To make sure you are successful :)
The first call you make is the hardest Its like you are reaching out for the unknown and its scary . But Trust me you are helping yourself and I am proud of you .

[gnarly_1]

Hey Pat you did the right thing if you need something right away there is always N/A it has worked well for me............Gnarly

[Leaveurfearsbehind]

That's awesome! Your definateley headed in the right direction. Just keep telling yourself that I will get better! I told myself that hundreds of times and still do it everyday. I'm on day 23 I think? Lol time is starting to speed back up and I can honestly say I feel better than I have in a long time. Keep fighting because it's worth it. Wishing you the best of luck and I'll keep you in my prayers!

[Pat1956100]

Well I got some really bad news and it freaked me out.  Employment Insurance has denied my claim because I was short 26 hours first they said 37 and I called back and it was 24.  All those days I called in sick relly kicked me in the a s s.  
I was so upset because I was counting on a lot of money coming in.
It would have been backdated from April.  Grrrrrrrrrrr
I cried and prayed and then made another phone call and someone is working on another option for me for my financial problems.
Please say a prayer for me.  I really need this.
Thanks so much
Oh and Just wanted to say if I was still using I would have just pulled the covers over my head and hid.

[conhall]

sending you prayers Pat (((Hugs))))
Just breath It will all work out and You being clean and sober dealing with all this is going to be a Million times better. God does listen just put your faith in him and he will listen.

[Pat1956100]

why would they delete the word a s s e s s
OH I see lol.
Anyway a very, bad day.  Making lots of phone calls and trying to get help and answers but getting nowhere.
Does anyone have a match???  My insurance is up to date.
I just want to walk away from everything right now.  I don't like feeling this angry.

[mamaof4410]

The biggest thing is not giving up...Even when you feel like the world is against you. You have taken a big step in the right direction.
Alot of people go to rehab while clean, just so they dont relapse. I would go and take this opportunity and run with it. I hope everything works out for you. Let us know how it goes

[Pat1956100]

I will for sure mama.  Lots of great people here who have my back.
I'm just very frustrated and I was really counting on that money.  I actually had it promised to my mother as she has been helping me.
Don't know what I will say to her but she will be okay.  Just hate having to tell her.  Ughh. I thought this was going to be a good day and was so proud of making that first phone call.

[nursegirl6572]

As hard as it may be, try to focus on the positive aspects...be proud that you're taking the necessary steps to help yourself!  The money situation is certainly a tough one, we've pretty much all been there at some point...you just have to keep fighting.  Like you said, before, you would have taken a few pills and hid from your problems.  You're now facing them head on, and you should be proud of that.  

You are experiencing life stressors without being numb...that takes some getting used to!  It will get easier.  Just resign yourself to the fact that you've got some work to do...you've already started...just keep on pushing through.

You have my prayers.

[Pat1956100]

You are so right, life stressors without being numb!! It does take getting usedto.   I cried and cried and just wanted to fall apart but I didn't.  I didn't lose my mind when I thought I was going to.  I made some more phone calls and at least TRIED to deal with them.  We will see what happens.
Overwhelming yes,but I didn't lose it or take a pill.  Actually didn't even think about taking one.

[conhall]

you are not getting nowhere Pat You are doing something and making the phone calls is something. Just Breath and remember stay focused on YOU and the rest will follow . But if you are clean and sober than the rest will be easier to deal with. Just concentrate on you and getting healthy. God does listen he hears your cries for help and he will help. Dont give up and dont let any of the stuff you cant change get you down. just Smile and say " Kuma Matata"  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6vLAa-kylM&feature=related

[Pat1956100]

Love that song and I will try it.
i feel very defeated right now but there is no way I am going to use.
That would only create more problems.
Thanks sweety

[dominosarah]

I see this as a very productive day.  First off you havent used, you made a call to the "counselor" and you have an appt.  Finance wise you hit a wall but are working on another option.  You havent thrown the covers over your head.  And lastly here, you are grumpy..Congrats on feeling again!!!!!!!!!!  

[conhall]

Sara said it perfectly :)
Pat you got this My Friend You can get through today just today dont worry about tomorrow it will come. I am proud of you for making phone calls You are doing great!

[Pat1956100]

Well I am feeling, I feel almost, can I say it bitchy. Really bitchy. I hope that's a good thing.  grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[toothfairie]

Pat you have shown me alot of strength just in the 3 days i've been talking to you.....you will get thru this too!!  we all will!  my legal problems prolly are just beginning but all i can do now is just focus on getting better right now and the rest will have to wait....hopefully  :)  you are doing great!!!!

[dominosarah]

The b!tch mode can be very productive!!  

[nursegirl6572]

The b!tch mode can be very productive!!   .

Sarah would know!!!!  ;0) (just teasing you love)

Bit**y is good, grumpy is good....numb and indifferent is bad.  I think you are doing great.  One day at a time...one hour at a time if need be!

[Pat1956100]

Thanks nursegirl
I have been a very passive person for a long time.  
Bitchy is great.  I wish those collecors would phone now.  Well it might not be a good thing but sheesh, let me at them.

[LeaAnn807]

Yeah, these are all good things!  You can be a bit*h.....just not to me! :) Sounds like you're right on schedule!! LOL

[Pat1956100]

Yeah and the bad withdrawal waves are kicking in too.  I am about to scream.  You will probably hear me all the way from Canada.
Be afraid, be very afraid lol.  OUch...............

[Bad Co]

Hey Pat,
40 year old guy here and I have to say I felt "bitchy" too for a while. I was easily annoyed and sick of being tired and sick. The lack of sleep and being uncomfortable for so long just plain old gets to you. try to close your eyes and trust that this is the last time you will ever have to go through this. Every day you are getting closer to feeling better and stronger. I'm 2 months in and went through some horrible w/d's. Over a decade of abuse is getting farther and farther in my rearview mirror. You are all over this Pat. Your getting through the peak soon. One day at a time and be patient. I promise you, if this old warrior can get through this misery you can too. You will feel so much better with this behind you. Just don't ever take the first one. it won't make you feel any better.  Best of luck and let me know if I can help in any way.

Bad Co

[Livingtodaylikeitsmylast]

Good for you for making that call.  It takes guts.  I go in on this Thursday morning.  I gave then a really hard time.  I am seeing a young women just out of University.  When I asked if she had any experience, they said "yes, a couple Years", then I added, experience in taking pills right, and family breakdown and addictions and bankruptcy"  She has two years experience in that.....the answer was a big fat no.  But I guess I will take what I can get!!!