This is a inspiration to me!

[wishful1]

We've all said and felt it - when we stop taking drugs or drinking it feels as though we've lost a friend. That chemical crutch, chemical happiness that we all loved once. That mourning is enough to make you relapse, no doubt. Next time you begin to mourn over your chemical friend, think about who you were before drugs. At one point we were all happy, we didn't need anything - remember that natural "high" you would get when you had a great day or laughed like a lunatic? Look at pictures of yourself before drugs - when you didn't have circles under your eyes, or bloodshot eyes, and your face wasn't sunken in - look at those pictures when you looked healthy, and that smile on your face was REAL. That's the real you. Now, when you begin to mourn over losing your chemical friend, think about the you before drugs and mourn over that person - then think to yourself that you're going to get that person back. Whenever you're craving or mourning or just thinking about life and drugs, remember that person who you were that you lost.

[wishful1]

I am so sorry for what happened to your mom. I know what its like to grow up with an addict/alcoholic parent, and always tell your self you will never be like them. Its sad that we became addicts too but we have to remember it is a disease.....people in our society that havent experienced what we have been through and laugh when we say it is a disease are ignorant. It really is a disease and must be treated! that is why i cant stress enough to have a good support group behind you, and to be open about your addiction. U did the right thing by writing your feelings down in that post, it helped you get through it at that moment. I dont know if im making any sense, but bottemline we are doing good! :)

[Regretful239]

Looking at old pics of me is what made me want to get clean, and write that post. I had a picture of myself up in my room - I didn't have circles under my eyes, I had a little more weight on me, and I had a huge smile on my face. I can't tell you how many times I looked at that picture and broke down crying trying to figure out where I lost myself. Before pain pills I was always extremely energetic and out going, I would literally jump out of bed in the morning with a smile on my face - I used to go to bed at night excited to wake up and see another day. Now all I have is pictures to remind me of what I let go and lost to my chemical happiness. It's not just pictures of me, I look at a picture of my mom everyday and remember August 8, 2003, the day she committed suicide because she just couldn't take the withdrawal - that's the reality of addiction. I was 17 at the time, I didn't understand why she was always so sick when she didn't have her pain pills and xanax, and so happy when she did. I always told myself I would never be like her, now everytime someone tells me I'm just like her - I can't help but think they don't have any idea just how much. It's hard to come off of drugs, losing our DOC is like losing our bestfriend, this is why pictures are so important - they captured the real us before all this happened.

[sunshine1109]

Great Post, thanks sooo much, you speak the truth.

[wishful1]

Newstart- I was taking norcos, oxys, tramadol, anything i could get to make me not feel dopesick too. I was also using for 3 years! Thanks to suboxone though i have been clean 62 days! I am starting to struggle with depression though i think....I wish i never saw those damn pills either! lol but atleast we want to be clean and we are taking the proper steps. I hope to hear from you soon!

jayeye- I know how you feel, looking back on old pics that u used to be happy in without pills. Just remembver that u did used to be happy with out pills and let that try to be a inspiration to you. I hope this helps! Write me anytime!

[jayeye]

that was awesome man.....i was looking at pictures the other day....i was in the gym 5 times a week....i had an amazing body.....cut up 170lbs six pack and all....lost over 40 pounds since i started.....esp over the last few months when i was heavy with the oxys....any way it really hit a nerve it really broke my heart....i watched vids of my and my friends having fun....i was always the center of attention....and then i became what i am.

again man awesome post im copying down and keeping it for inspiration

[newstart730]

I have just entered my 5th day.  I was using norco, 6-10 per day.  I tapered down to 3-4 per day, so it has helped lessen things.  This roller coaster I've been riding has lasted about 3 years, and I know it HAS to END NOW.  I know what they mean when they say "You've gotta be sick and tired of being sick and tired." Even though I may not feel "fantastic" every moment of the day, I already enjoy waking up without feeling dopesick, taking a pill right away, and waiting for it to kick in.  However, that's been my morning routine for so long, I'm having to get really creative to retrain myself and feel happy in the mornings.  I want to say it's like something is "missing," even though I hate the d*mn pills and wish I'd never seen one in my life.  It's tricky to break habits that are so ingrained, but I'm determined.  Thanks for listening

[wishful1]

Aww im glad it touched you. How many days clean do you have now and what were you using? This website really has helped me so much....If you ever need to talk feel free to message me anytime!

[newstart730]

This is so, so true.  Thank you for this post, I really need it right now.  I really feel like every step of every day I have to step back into my "old" self, the person I was before the addiction.  I can be hard to remember sometimes, but it is so worth it.  Thank you, it brought tears to my eyes, because this struck me so deeply :')

[wishful1]

It is a lifelong struggle that we will be facing, us addicts. But there are resources out there to help us stay clean and live a all around better drug free life! its hard and sometimes you feel like it will never get better, but we just have to have faith and most importantly WANT TO BE CLEAN!!!! :)

[wishful1]

amen! ;)

[dominosarah]

Nice post~~~~

[McGinger]

^5

I'm currently unable to imagine that life without my DOC... I had it once before and after my first detox.  Now 5 years later I am back to square 1.  

[Regretful239]

I'm happy I could inspire you with that!

[ultimatebattle]

AMEN!!   WELL SAID, I just flipped off my chemical friend