Aa
This is the Worst!!!
I been just reading post. I am sooooo overwhelmed with the way I am feeling, that I was not even going to post anything. I am just about at a lost for any words regarding these *** withdrawals. It pitiful. I feel absolutely crazy in the head. My thoughts are outta control. I have had the worst anxiety this evening that I have ever had, and my whole lower body aches, and I do have rls, and to make it worst, each withdrawal I get rls, but it always hits in my right legg the worst, it even burns, just in the right calf part, feels like its coming from in the *** bone or something. Its horrendous!! The axiety makes me yell inside and out, its unbelievable! Im going to take another bath here in a min. I feel horrible, I cant control any of this ****, Im just about at the end of my rope, just shot me, and put me outta my *** misery. Yes this is day 6, going into day 7. I can not go on like this. Alot of ppl keep posting that after day 5,6,7,.... you will be fine, well thats not happening for me. This **** is outta control. Put me outta my misery, this is ridiculous. Sooooo disappointing when each morning I awake from my 2-3 hrs of sleep by the way....... expecting to feel better, then soon as I get moving around, blam! Withdrawals kick in, the leggs bull****, and the anxiety, it is debilitating seriously. I know Im ranting, and raving, but I cant do anything else, especially nothing that makes sense, because none of this **** does. The worst part about is........ In my mind I know I cant do anything about this ****, but take it. Thats what is killing me.....I need this **** to stop!!!! I have no understanding how God could allow this to be, If I had the nerves, I probably would try to kill myself, than go through this bull****.
I think ur doing great w/d suck and thats the nice way to say I try to let every emotion out the best I can one minute I'd be in a ball crying like a baby the next second I'd be scream into a pillow then I'd get a burst of energy think it was a good Idea to come downstairs to spend time with the family find that was a mistake run back up the stairs and start it all over again I was a hateful yoyo and that was while I was waiting to get to my outpaitent program appt. hang in there it will get better. my prays r with ya.
Hi Bro ,
You do have a choice . You choice was NOT to take pills the last few days . Be proud of yourself , Your a fighter , Fighting really hard for your life back .
It will happen , Only days from now you will be over the hump then each day it gets better . The panic will be gone , your mind & body will start to heal , energy will start to return , sleep will return .
Sure you will still have some up's & down's for as long as it takes your mind & body to heal . But the good days will out number the bad days very soon ..... Stay positive ........Ron
You do have a choice . You choice was NOT to take pills the last few days . Be proud of yourself , Your a fighter , Fighting really hard for your life back .
It will happen , Only days from now you will be over the hump then each day it gets better . The panic will be gone , your mind & body will start to heal , energy will start to return , sleep will return .
Sure you will still have some up's & down's for as long as it takes your mind & body to heal . But the good days will out number the bad days very soon ..... Stay positive ........Ron
Thanks Vicki, I know my post is long and I had already posted once before so I hope people don't get sick of hearing it. i just feel for this guy, because it can be so dark and depressing. Sometimes you question how much fight you have left in you, but you have to hear that it will get better someday soon.
It's definitely a rough road, you've gotten great advice, from everyone.
When I'm having a rough day, as far as my anxiety, panic and depression go (I'm not an addict)...I can really self talk myself into a frenzy, and all the "why me"'s, and "I hate life"'s end up making me feel worse than what I started with. Here's what I do...maybe it will help you too.
While no doubt you're going through a hellish experience, think of all the people out there who are having to endure even worse things. People with incurable painful cancer, who put a smile on their face every day, even thought they're in so much pain and feel awful. Homeless people, people living through war, watching their loved ones get killed. I know, it seems kind of silly, but it ALWAYS gives me perspective and helps me to end my pity party. I think, my GOD, what I have to face is NOTHING compared to some people!
You've already come a long way...you will be on the uphill climb soon, which is incredible! Even if you don't FEEL like being positive...push yourself a little bit to try. Celebrate your accomplishments...celebrate every minute of clean time you already have under your belt. Having a positive attitude breeds more positive thinking, it really does. I know not one bone in your body feels positive right now, but YOU can change that. People here say all the time, that the more you focus on how badly you feel, the worse you feel. That's true with everything in life. It really is.
So, when you're having a really bad moment, try to think of that poor soul who has to live with cancer, and struggle every day...with no end ever in sight. Realize that, compared to some people's struggles, this is doable! Tell yourself you WILL do this. ALL of the way you feel now is temporary!
Just as least TRY to turn your thinking around a little. Even if you don't believe the things you're saying, keep saying them. Get a plan in place, and start working it. I know you wanted some relief, and who can blame you, but honestly, taking that muscle relaxer probably did a lot less for you than you think. It was rather that old addict mindset that because you popped a pill, you felt better. You don't need that...a pill, to feel better. Try to avoid getting caught in that trap. Who knows what other pills you would find in your drawer? You have to try to be stronger, to say to yourself, "I don't NEED that to feel better!!" You'll get there, please try to be kinder and more patient with yourself.
Wishing you the best...you have my prayers that relief is coming soon!!
When I'm having a rough day, as far as my anxiety, panic and depression go (I'm not an addict)...I can really self talk myself into a frenzy, and all the "why me"'s, and "I hate life"'s end up making me feel worse than what I started with. Here's what I do...maybe it will help you too.
While no doubt you're going through a hellish experience, think of all the people out there who are having to endure even worse things. People with incurable painful cancer, who put a smile on their face every day, even thought they're in so much pain and feel awful. Homeless people, people living through war, watching their loved ones get killed. I know, it seems kind of silly, but it ALWAYS gives me perspective and helps me to end my pity party. I think, my GOD, what I have to face is NOTHING compared to some people!
You've already come a long way...you will be on the uphill climb soon, which is incredible! Even if you don't FEEL like being positive...push yourself a little bit to try. Celebrate your accomplishments...celebrate every minute of clean time you already have under your belt. Having a positive attitude breeds more positive thinking, it really does. I know not one bone in your body feels positive right now, but YOU can change that. People here say all the time, that the more you focus on how badly you feel, the worse you feel. That's true with everything in life. It really is.
So, when you're having a really bad moment, try to think of that poor soul who has to live with cancer, and struggle every day...with no end ever in sight. Realize that, compared to some people's struggles, this is doable! Tell yourself you WILL do this. ALL of the way you feel now is temporary!
Just as least TRY to turn your thinking around a little. Even if you don't believe the things you're saying, keep saying them. Get a plan in place, and start working it. I know you wanted some relief, and who can blame you, but honestly, taking that muscle relaxer probably did a lot less for you than you think. It was rather that old addict mindset that because you popped a pill, you felt better. You don't need that...a pill, to feel better. Try to avoid getting caught in that trap. Who knows what other pills you would find in your drawer? You have to try to be stronger, to say to yourself, "I don't NEED that to feel better!!" You'll get there, please try to be kinder and more patient with yourself.
Wishing you the best...you have my prayers that relief is coming soon!!
That was so well articulated and full of hard earned wisdom...I'm breathless. Your words are perfect for concerned's situation...and I hope it's embraced.
Not sure if it helps.... I know it's long, but this is something I posted a week or two ago. I wrote this right after going through exactly what you are right now.........
No question here, just a loud moment of support and peace to anyone looking for love and help in trying to quit anything. I'm a 15 year sufferer of being addicted to every opiate made. I'm a long time loser and short term hero. While I'm only 25 days clean, I feel so f'ing good about myself for the first time I can remember. I know I have a long path ahead to be where I belong, but today I'm walking in the right direction.
My point is to you addicts questioning yourself right now is this; If this old, beaten, tired, warrior can hold his head up high today, then every single one of you can too. I've done so many despicable things to feed my pain, addiction. I lied, hurt, stole, lost, cheated, fought and lost, and cried to get high. I fought for over a decade the most dark and depressing battle. 25 days ago I gave up. I didn't win, I lost and it was the the surrender that saved me.
I don't have the recipe to save to your life, but I know 3 big things that saved mine and helped me get this far.
1) Surrender. I surrendered any hope that I could "fix" what was broken in me. I gave up believing that I could do it on my own. My core finally realized that "my" way just didn't work. The fighter in me couldn't believe there was anything I couldn't "win", but while I was lying on my couch crying my face off and this feeling of surrender washed over me it was replaced with a serenity I can't explain.
2) I asked for help. I begged someone to give me strength. My wife, N/A meetings and this website were there to hold me in their arms and give me strength when I had none left. I tried hiding this darkness from the world and that never worked. I was so ashamed of who I had become. As soon as I asked for help, I got just what I needed. For the longest time I thought I was in this war alone, nothing could be farther from the truth.
3) Patience. I knew getting through w/d's was going to be hell. Been there done that. I dreaded it like nothing else. I was so scared of how long I was going to be miserable. I prepared with vitamins, water, time, and patience. t I was flat out scared. When I was weak and didn't think I could make it I asked for help. This website answered so many questions while I was in mental chaos. Sometimes it only took a response to my plea for help to let me close my eyes and feel "thinks are going to be okay" I found that all I needed was 10 minutes at a time. Patience. Many times I tested this, and each time I was greeted with just what I needed to get through the next 10 minutes.
Listen to me please. I'm still a little weak, not nearly "healed" and my scars are obvious, but today I feel great. I feel as though I have walked through the valley of death and came out the other side pissed off and ready to live. By surrendering I have won what I had lost so many times. I never thought I could do this. Never, just like you might me thinking. I was wrong, and so are you.
No question here, just a loud moment of support and peace to anyone looking for love and help in trying to quit anything. I'm a 15 year sufferer of being addicted to every opiate made. I'm a long time loser and short term hero. While I'm only 25 days clean, I feel so f'ing good about myself for the first time I can remember. I know I have a long path ahead to be where I belong, but today I'm walking in the right direction.
My point is to you addicts questioning yourself right now is this; If this old, beaten, tired, warrior can hold his head up high today, then every single one of you can too. I've done so many despicable things to feed my pain, addiction. I lied, hurt, stole, lost, cheated, fought and lost, and cried to get high. I fought for over a decade the most dark and depressing battle. 25 days ago I gave up. I didn't win, I lost and it was the the surrender that saved me.
I don't have the recipe to save to your life, but I know 3 big things that saved mine and helped me get this far.
1) Surrender. I surrendered any hope that I could "fix" what was broken in me. I gave up believing that I could do it on my own. My core finally realized that "my" way just didn't work. The fighter in me couldn't believe there was anything I couldn't "win", but while I was lying on my couch crying my face off and this feeling of surrender washed over me it was replaced with a serenity I can't explain.
2) I asked for help. I begged someone to give me strength. My wife, N/A meetings and this website were there to hold me in their arms and give me strength when I had none left. I tried hiding this darkness from the world and that never worked. I was so ashamed of who I had become. As soon as I asked for help, I got just what I needed. For the longest time I thought I was in this war alone, nothing could be farther from the truth.
3) Patience. I knew getting through w/d's was going to be hell. Been there done that. I dreaded it like nothing else. I was so scared of how long I was going to be miserable. I prepared with vitamins, water, time, and patience. t I was flat out scared. When I was weak and didn't think I could make it I asked for help. This website answered so many questions while I was in mental chaos. Sometimes it only took a response to my plea for help to let me close my eyes and feel "thinks are going to be okay" I found that all I needed was 10 minutes at a time. Patience. Many times I tested this, and each time I was greeted with just what I needed to get through the next 10 minutes.
Listen to me please. I'm still a little weak, not nearly "healed" and my scars are obvious, but today I feel great. I feel as though I have walked through the valley of death and came out the other side pissed off and ready to live. By surrendering I have won what I had lost so many times. I never thought I could do this. Never, just like you might me thinking. I was wrong, and so are you.
Hey brother, as you've read here you're not alone in this. Everybody here either in the middle of, end of, or just starting withdrawals. Believe it or not you're ahead of a lot of people right now. You've made it further than most people could stand. I'm on Day 35 from a 15 year addiction to opiates. I wrote similar posts as yours after a week in. I kept praying for the day that I would wake up and the pain would be gone. The anxiety, lack of sleep and restlessness just built up and I thought I just couldn't stand it. I fought and fought and just thought I was going insane. I still don't feel like the superman I was while I was on pills, But at least today I can look people in the eye and not be as ashamed of myself. Today I am clean. Today I didn't lie to anyone. I didn't steal to get high, I didn't count to see if I had enough, I didn't have to call to score. Today I have money in my wallet and my son doesn't have to wonder why dad has another "flu" from trying to quit. Today is better than yesterday. Today is all I have and all I can can control. Tomorrow will come, but I don't worry about it yet. Today is all I need to get through and so do you.
Anger is okay, but Patience is more important. try to remember that if you keep walking down the path you're on, you will NEVER have to go through this again.
.....if I can go a month without a pill, my friend you can get through the worst of this.
Anger is okay, but Patience is more important. try to remember that if you keep walking down the path you're on, you will NEVER have to go through this again.
.....if I can go a month without a pill, my friend you can get through the worst of this.
You just brought back a sweet memory, My friend on here Killmypain, always said, "Just keep swimming". It was her motto. She fought hard and is still clean! Not sure if you got that from her, but it brought a smile to my face. Concerned......You can do this, Stay busy.....keep nourished......know your life is so worth this battle. xx
I am trying. This is soooooo hard. But I dont have a choice I guess. Meaning I know I wont be killing myself. So I might as well keep fighting. Im just trying not to dwell on it too much today, which that is hard as well. But I wil get up, and try to get myself together somewhat to not look so crazy, and try to get out a lil bit today. Hopefully that will help some, even if its only for a lil bit. Any releif will help. My mind is so racie, and my thoughts are crazy, and all over the place. I hate that.That just brings on depression, and anxiety. Im trying to fight thru it all. Jesus help me.
Hi , The panic is the drug telling your brain it wants its drug . This is a hard time for you . All W/D's are hard for awhile but they will ease .
Your close to the end of the tuff stuff . Keep going hour by hour if you fight you win .
Please don't hate God , Hate the drug & what its done to your life .
God may have placed this site here for a reason.
Everyone that goes thru detox has a different time line . But all get thru it that fight and want there life back .
When i was in the same boat your in now i to wanted to die . Now just 32 days drug free i feel so much better , Like myself again , enjoying every new day . Things are good again .
You fight & you will get free of the drug life in a few days , Were with you.....Ron
Your close to the end of the tuff stuff . Keep going hour by hour if you fight you win .
Please don't hate God , Hate the drug & what its done to your life .
God may have placed this site here for a reason.
Everyone that goes thru detox has a different time line . But all get thru it that fight and want there life back .
When i was in the same boat your in now i to wanted to die . Now just 32 days drug free i feel so much better , Like myself again , enjoying every new day . Things are good again .
You fight & you will get free of the drug life in a few days , Were with you.....Ron
Well just waking and starting to move around a bit. So far not so bad. Im trying not to even think about my condition right now. Praying it does not get any worst today. I found a muscle relaxer layin in my drawer last night, so I took that to knock the horrible edge off, and no I do not have anymore of those either! I also slept with a hearting pad on my legg. did get at least 3hrs of sleep. Thats better than it has been. I will be going outside sometime today. Hope I can make it. Thankyou all for your kind words, and support. I do have major support through my church, and I will definitely be returning there as soon as I can get myself together enough to even be able to sit thru it. Plus right now I look like I been in a fight with Mike Tyson and I lost! lol, so I have got to get myself together enough to even go. Thanks again, and everyone have a blessed day. I will post later.
Hey Concerned how are you doing? The first week for anyone is rough. Hell is an understatement in most cases. What you are feeling is normal, just try not to overthink things in the beginning, sometimes that can make it worse for us. The whole. "you will be fine in 5-7 days", have seen that here and there in posts but there is usually meaning to that. In 5-7 (up to 10 days) the really bad physical withdrawals should end, they do linger for months and months btw. After that comes the mental, the really tough part. This is where aftercare and a positive new outlook on life comes in to place. I am two days from 5 months and questioned my sobriety for a long time into this. I am finally at a place where I know where I am, I accept it and I am happy and proud. It does take time though, it is not easy. we are all here to help you. It can be done. one just has to want it that bad and go and get it. God bless and Good Luck!
I say get mad! Let it out! It's like a hard breakup. For me anyway, it's easier to get over it if you hate it. All of sudden realize why it sucked and you hated it in the first place! All the ****** things it did to you throughout your "relationship" the hell you went through. How it wad all lie!!! So, get mad at the damn drugs! Tell them to go eff off! Piece of poop! Rollercoaster baby rollercoaster! Today, you could be crying and missing them stupid m-effers but then it will probably turn to anger again. Then somewhere in all that red, you will find humble. You will finally become "ok" with it. Maybe not ever fully past it, but you released all those feelings and finally feeling better! Finding that light is hard! I KNOW!! That warm and fuzzy life without drugs is there, just gotta work hard to get to it! Finally, the kind of relationship we need, we want and deserve!! sobriety!! Keep trucking my friend and my favorite quote of all time...Just keep swimming just keep swimming" at this point you just gotta keep that head above water. Forget the rest!
Healing light and love to you friend!
Healing light and love to you friend!
How are you feeling this am? Hoping you have woken with a better day and less symptoms. Detox soooo *****, but you doing great....Stay on course ok?
Screaming... that really hit a chord with me. To help release my anxiety back during the first ten days, i did scream. Literally. The release helped kick my brain in some...i literally yelled at myself, my addiction. It does pass... i still have some anxiety, but can work my way off that ledge much easier now. I feel for you... fight it, you will beat it.
hi concerned. yes, our bodies SCREAM during detox. we feel angry, hurt, guilty, helpless and sad. you are just verbalizing what your body is feeling. vent all you like but keep your eye on the prize. i wanted to punch walls during detox. i actually think i did. if you wanna call my demure little punches, punches. get up and kick/punch the air if you need to. scream as loud as you can. let it out. and most of all, cry. i found during my detoxes that crying made me feel so much better for some reason. i am rooting for you. hang in there. you are almost over the physical part.
Concerned, I feel your pain as does everyone here! These withdrawls are horrible! We have all been there or currently are. IBKleen had some great advice for you and true genuine concern. Im afraid that your anger at the drugs, yourself, life are just not allowing you to see through all of that. The first time I tried to get clean I was so angry at EVERYTHING. It was easy for me to place blame on everything. Whats different for me this time is this..Anger does nothing but get in the way of MY sobriety. I still have all those same things I could be angry at or blame but at the end of the day its not going to change anything, except my sobriety.
There is alot of good advice and concern here for you friend. You really are almost through the toughest parts of it. It took you more than a week to become an addict right??
I truely wish you the best and hope you wont give up and I hope you will seriously consider some kind of aftercare at the very least!
There is alot of good advice and concern here for you friend. You really are almost through the toughest parts of it. It took you more than a week to become an addict right??
I truely wish you the best and hope you wont give up and I hope you will seriously consider some kind of aftercare at the very least!
I am very concerned for you, try taking a few deep breaths. I am going through withdrawals too and it can be done, just take it day by day, minute by minute, its okay to feel what you are feeling, it will get better i promise. just hang in there, say nice things to yourself, okay? Try a na meeting
God bless,
God bless,
Thank you all for being concerned,and responding to my rants, sorry guys, guess I just am sooo angry about having to go thru this. I appreciate your understanding. And to you IBKLEEN, I will say thankyou anyhow, but to be honest, yes I read your last post to me, and I didnt care for the way you was putting that out to me, so I chose to leave that where it was at. Thanky ou anyhow, Im just not in the mood for that type of convo at this time. I know you probably mean no harm, but I just aint in the mood ok. Well everyone, Im hangin tight, not going to use, and forward we go!
It sux. And if it isn't worth it for you then keep on abusing the pills. For me it was worth it to get a life back..to be responsible..to be employable..to be accountable..to be lovable..hell, to be likable.
Again, if you don't look at the glass as half full, you are doomed to repeat your behavior. This is a turning point for you and it's decision time. Do it now or do it later? The choice is yours. I'll support your recovery any time, any day..all day.
Again, if you don't look at the glass as half full, you are doomed to repeat your behavior. This is a turning point for you and it's decision time. Do it now or do it later? The choice is yours. I'll support your recovery any time, any day..all day.
As the saying goes.......Hell on earth, Now this........would be hell on earth!!!! It really makes me hate life, to have to go thru something like this. You cant just do the right thing, and say, well Im just going to quit taking them. Then you do stop, and look at the absolute hell you have to endure, even after stopping. This dont even make any kinda sense. I understand, the mind has to heal, but once the **** is out of your system, whats with all this *** pain, and anxiety, and rls, for the next several MONTHS!! that does not make sense to me. You have absolutly no energy,and you push yourself *** near crawling on the floor to take these hot baths, and going on.......hopeing for releif, and you do not get instant relief at all, it may add up as time goes on and help you in the long run, but there is no instant releif! I am not blaming anyone, just sharing how I feel about all of this ****. I hate myself,,I hate life, I hate everything right now. This whole process is a package that can cause you to lose your sanity.Its ****** unreal! And again, really doesnt matter how much I rant, and rave, it is not going to change anything. How bout them apples! Thanks for listening. And no I have not took any percs, tomorrow I will be well into 7 days, if I make it overnite. This is awful!!!
i felt like you are describing too. And it wasn't over in 7 days. It was just starting to get better, but week 2 was a mental nightmare for me. So you may have to endure another week, but I promise you it will start to get better, and the relief and comfort waiting on the other side of this is so worth it. I remember cringing whenever I was told to start thinking positive, but looking back, that is what saved me and kept me moving forward. It is too easy for us to talk ourselves into relaping in the beginning, especially when our bodies and minds are all out of whack. But if you can just start forcing yourself to think about all you are gaining and what you will be gaining by quitting, it may help you, especially during week 2. It won't always be this hard, I promise. I actually have full days now where pills don't cross my mind once. I have to remind myself because I don't ever want to forget and think it wasn't a big deal to quit. Because it is a big deal. You are altering your future and changing your entire life for the better. Stay strong!
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