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Tracking the Road to Recovery - Suboxone Tapering
I'm starting this thread to begin tracking my road to recovery using suboxone. I'm entering some of the most crucial stages and will be "jumping" soon. There are so many horror stories, I'm hoping I'll have one that's more encouraging to tell. Currently I am taking .25mgs per day (.125 twice daily). *Notice decimal in front of 25*
Recent progress info: I had been on .25 for around 3 weeks - long enough to gain stability, but I did have a small set back. I ran out of my 2mg strips and thought I could cut my 8mg strip down enough to use until I saw the Dr. again. (I had one of these left from a prior prescription). This was two weeks during which I had finals, my wedding and honey moon. I should have taken more time to either call in a request or analyze the amount I was taking or both. Before I realized it, I had been taking the wrong dose for two weeks - the pieces were so small - it was impossible to cut an 8mg strip down to .125 pieces. I had been instead taking .25 twice daily - .5 daily - double the amount I had tapered to. I guess b/c I had already stabilized on .25 and had so much going on I didn't even feel a difference. ANYWAY, yesterday I got my 2mg strips refilled and jumped back down to .25 mg per day (.125 twice daily). Previously I had tapered even slower - from 1/2 a strip (.5 mgs) to 1/3 to 1/4 to 1/6 to 1/8 (.25 mgs) taking many months to do so. That was definately easier, but at this point I just want to get back to where I was. I was proud of myself and when I realized I had screwed up I was feeling depressed, SO, I'm motivated to get back quicker this time.
OK, SO FIRST 24 HOURS BACK DOWN TO .25 mgs (.125 twice daily): Last night I hurt. I took a diclofenac (an NSAID like advil) and slept fairly well throughout the night. This morning I hurt. I took another NSAID. I also feel very antsy but besides that I'm doing ok and the NSAID is working good enough. No stomach problems. Also, when I say hurt, right now I just mean "ache". Strangely, mostly shoulders/upper body.
Recent progress info: I had been on .25 for around 3 weeks - long enough to gain stability, but I did have a small set back. I ran out of my 2mg strips and thought I could cut my 8mg strip down enough to use until I saw the Dr. again. (I had one of these left from a prior prescription). This was two weeks during which I had finals, my wedding and honey moon. I should have taken more time to either call in a request or analyze the amount I was taking or both. Before I realized it, I had been taking the wrong dose for two weeks - the pieces were so small - it was impossible to cut an 8mg strip down to .125 pieces. I had been instead taking .25 twice daily - .5 daily - double the amount I had tapered to. I guess b/c I had already stabilized on .25 and had so much going on I didn't even feel a difference. ANYWAY, yesterday I got my 2mg strips refilled and jumped back down to .25 mg per day (.125 twice daily). Previously I had tapered even slower - from 1/2 a strip (.5 mgs) to 1/3 to 1/4 to 1/6 to 1/8 (.25 mgs) taking many months to do so. That was definately easier, but at this point I just want to get back to where I was. I was proud of myself and when I realized I had screwed up I was feeling depressed, SO, I'm motivated to get back quicker this time.
OK, SO FIRST 24 HOURS BACK DOWN TO .25 mgs (.125 twice daily): Last night I hurt. I took a diclofenac (an NSAID like advil) and slept fairly well throughout the night. This morning I hurt. I took another NSAID. I also feel very antsy but besides that I'm doing ok and the NSAID is working good enough. No stomach problems. Also, when I say hurt, right now I just mean "ache". Strangely, mostly shoulders/upper body.
Thanks so much for starting this thread!! I'm anxious to watch your progress unfold. You've got LOTS of cheerleaders here!! :0)
yes you do have lots of cheerleaders! You are doing it, you are beating this devil!
Keep your eye on the goal, you will make it out here with me in the light.
hugs,
Lily
Keep your eye on the goal, you will make it out here with me in the light.
hugs,
Lily
*Correction* In explaining how I previously tapered I should have said "1/2 strip (1 mg)" not "1/2 strip (.5 mg)" - not to confuse anyone.
Also, just an FYI - this is not for taper advice, but only to share my experience. :-)
AND THANK YOU! Rah, Rah!
Also, just an FYI - this is not for taper advice, but only to share my experience. :-)
AND THANK YOU! Rah, Rah!
2 days into this taper - Doing ok. Mostly just ACHY but it's also the exact time of month to feel that way anyway. Considering that, (not trying to make excuses) I've not been able to go ALL the way back down to .25mg. Instead I'm at .375mgs per day (.125 once and .25 once) - Still better than .5mgs (.25 X 2). I feel the 2 weeks set me back more than I'd hoped. I'm ok with .375 right now though. Next week I'll try .25 again. As long as I KEEP stepping DOWN I feel I'm going in the right direction!
Other symptoms: Metabolism definately boosted! The first 24 hours in, a little too much. Today is good so far regarding that. I'm a little restless at night, but have been waking up with more energy than I've had in a while. Not motivating type energy, but still - more alert. Worst part is just hurting - achy body. Been taking NSAIDS which are helping. The "hurt" is mostly coming from a spot that bothers me all the time anyway, it's just intensified. It's a knot that I get and usually keep. When I get stressed it hurts worse. Dr. says it's a tension/trigger spot. That's what I have the NSAID prescribed for. It's called Diclofenac but it's not much different than advil. Last night I felt nausiated, kinda like heartburn. I took some tums which helped. That might be from the NSAID, not the taper. Got to remember to eat something with those things.
Anway, that's my update.
FYI - Background on Suboxone: Started a little over a year ago after a short relapse. I started on 8mgs a day. The Dr. had told me to take 1/2 the 8mg strip and see if it relieved the w/ds. If it did, then I was to take 1/2 twice daily. If not, then I was to take a whole twice daily. I'm lucky I went with the 1/2. If I could do it over or change something I would have started out on 2mgs twice daily (4mgs per day compared to 8mgs) but I had NO idea what my body needed. I thought I was doing good just by taking the lesser of the two options given to me. Anway, that's just me. I had only relapsed on hydrocodone - not oxy or any of the other demons from my past, though they were already becoming temptations... Sooo I'm glad I got on it so far. I just wish I started with less, and of course wish I had had the will power and strength to quit opiates without help, but I tried that way too many times before only to fall deeper. This time I wasn't going to keep trying on my own only to lose years of my life trying not to hurt but never getting better. 8mgs-2mgs went fairly smooth. Every taper past 2mgs per day has been a little harder (I think) but slowly I've been able to make it this far....
Other symptoms: Metabolism definately boosted! The first 24 hours in, a little too much. Today is good so far regarding that. I'm a little restless at night, but have been waking up with more energy than I've had in a while. Not motivating type energy, but still - more alert. Worst part is just hurting - achy body. Been taking NSAIDS which are helping. The "hurt" is mostly coming from a spot that bothers me all the time anyway, it's just intensified. It's a knot that I get and usually keep. When I get stressed it hurts worse. Dr. says it's a tension/trigger spot. That's what I have the NSAID prescribed for. It's called Diclofenac but it's not much different than advil. Last night I felt nausiated, kinda like heartburn. I took some tums which helped. That might be from the NSAID, not the taper. Got to remember to eat something with those things.
Anway, that's my update.
FYI - Background on Suboxone: Started a little over a year ago after a short relapse. I started on 8mgs a day. The Dr. had told me to take 1/2 the 8mg strip and see if it relieved the w/ds. If it did, then I was to take 1/2 twice daily. If not, then I was to take a whole twice daily. I'm lucky I went with the 1/2. If I could do it over or change something I would have started out on 2mgs twice daily (4mgs per day compared to 8mgs) but I had NO idea what my body needed. I thought I was doing good just by taking the lesser of the two options given to me. Anway, that's just me. I had only relapsed on hydrocodone - not oxy or any of the other demons from my past, though they were already becoming temptations... Sooo I'm glad I got on it so far. I just wish I started with less, and of course wish I had had the will power and strength to quit opiates without help, but I tried that way too many times before only to fall deeper. This time I wasn't going to keep trying on my own only to lose years of my life trying not to hurt but never getting better. 8mgs-2mgs went fairly smooth. Every taper past 2mgs per day has been a little harder (I think) but slowly I've been able to make it this far....
You are doing great! You have a good head on your shoulders and have a good plan, but you're realistic. You're aware that sometimes you have to deviate from the plan. Rah Rah Rah!!!
:0)
:0)
I think my scale is wrong. I'm pretty sure each legs weighs 100lbs each. :-( I know everyone says to exercise but it's soooo the last thing I want to do :-( I'm not sure where people find the motivation from. I really want to go home and just lay on the couch, cuddle with my animals, and sleep all day. UGH, I think the hardest thing is staying mentally motivated. (especially when you hurt and are tired). Need to find a way to keep motivated. Quiting school and/or work ARE NOT OPTIONS! MUST KEEP GOING FORWARD! I've come tooooooo farrrrrr.....
The little train that could.... I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.......
The little train that could.... I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.......
Oh yes, the heavy feeling is intense. I said my blood felt like mercury and my muscles felt like lead. It was as if I could feel my blood sloshing around, throwing me off balance. At day 19, I almost gave in, my local friends said to take a small sliver of sub. My medhelp friends said hold strong. At day 21, I finally slept for 4 hrs straight. So glad I held out. Don't give up, just before a Miricle.
I know exactly how you feel, it is passing every minute. It's hard, but moving your body really helps. I joined a gym and did saunas and swam everyday. Most gyms have a free trial, if you can't afford it. The water took the weight off and the sauna relaxed my RLS. It was not easy to go in public. It was not easy to motivate. It did create a new routine and a healthy habit. I'm going swimming today, it's rainy and cold here today, so the gym it is. I don't have any excuses to stop me from getting out and exercising.
You are doing great, may not feel like it, but you are. You will see. This month feels like a year, time speeds up. This is truly a short period of time, when you consider the rest of your life. Pass the time reading old posts, going to meetings, learning about addiction and coping skills. I did as many things in recovery as possible the first 6 months. I found what works for me, and am in the habit of doing those things at a mere year clean. What kind of aftercare are you doing or have tried? I think it's important to never stop growing and discover how one ended up in active addiction. How did you get here?
All that aside, congratulations on your progress. You will not regret the worst of all this detox. Your health is improving, you are having growing pains. These are the birthing pains of a new life, you will see the beauty in it soon. Keep that attitude, "no turning back now." Remember, you ARE healing, that is a fact. Great work so far.
I know exactly how you feel, it is passing every minute. It's hard, but moving your body really helps. I joined a gym and did saunas and swam everyday. Most gyms have a free trial, if you can't afford it. The water took the weight off and the sauna relaxed my RLS. It was not easy to go in public. It was not easy to motivate. It did create a new routine and a healthy habit. I'm going swimming today, it's rainy and cold here today, so the gym it is. I don't have any excuses to stop me from getting out and exercising.
You are doing great, may not feel like it, but you are. You will see. This month feels like a year, time speeds up. This is truly a short period of time, when you consider the rest of your life. Pass the time reading old posts, going to meetings, learning about addiction and coping skills. I did as many things in recovery as possible the first 6 months. I found what works for me, and am in the habit of doing those things at a mere year clean. What kind of aftercare are you doing or have tried? I think it's important to never stop growing and discover how one ended up in active addiction. How did you get here?
All that aside, congratulations on your progress. You will not regret the worst of all this detox. Your health is improving, you are having growing pains. These are the birthing pains of a new life, you will see the beauty in it soon. Keep that attitude, "no turning back now." Remember, you ARE healing, that is a fact. Great work so far.
Read my profile and you'll know the "after-care" I tried, but don't think I don't need to hear everything you said. Even though I've been through 'getting sober' before, I've only done it once, and not as an "out-patient". Plus, I think anyone going through withdrawls needs to hear things they already know to bring reality back into perspective. I'm pretty sure pain clouds the mind and brings on a more primitive 'survival' way of thinking mixed with the emotion of fear (knowing it could get harder before it gets better), and the emotion of despair & depression (knowing you caused yourself this pain and feeling like it will never end). Eww, I guess I won't be encouraging anyone today :-( Didn't sleep much last night, should have taken the RLS medicine, BUT I know you're right. Thank you for posting. I'll feel better when I stabilize again. Then I'll taper some more...It's going to be a process but in the big picture I'm close to the end...baby steps that feel like giant steps on some days. I forgot what it was like to be so up and down.
I decided to create a new term while re-reading what I wrote today.....
Pain Clouds: noun:
a. unclear or incorrect thoughts caused by hurting.
b. "Pain" that "clouds" someone's way of thinking.
Examples:
Pain clouds make it hard to think.
My head is filled with pain clouds.
Pain clouds are making me feel sad.
Pain clouds can cause people to give up.
Severe pain clouds can bring people to drastic actions.
Pain Clouds: noun:
a. unclear or incorrect thoughts caused by hurting.
b. "Pain" that "clouds" someone's way of thinking.
Examples:
Pain clouds make it hard to think.
My head is filled with pain clouds.
Pain clouds are making me feel sad.
Pain clouds can cause people to give up.
Severe pain clouds can bring people to drastic actions.
Finally stablized on .375 mgs daily. Ready to try .25 mg per day again. There's nothing in-between the two, so..... Here I go... if you're a believer, PLEASE stop for just a second and say a prayer for me - for strength, determination, grace, and will power.
P.S. The nuerontin has been helping my RLS at night. I can tell a big difference when I take it. Also, though the Dr. said it could leave me feeling drowsy in the morning but so far I don't feel like it has. I'm on 100mgs of this, only at night.
I have been very tired but I don't think it's the nuerontin b/c it's more in the middle of the day. Could be part of the w/ds mixed with a little depression from the lack of endorphines/seratonin or whatever it is that opiates tend to produce more of. I drink coffee and red bulls to help with the energy but then I feel more irritable and anxious. Any suggestions for this problem?
I haven't started "working out" but I have started working in my flower garden/ yard which is more of a work-out than many would realize, so that's my way of working muslces, soaking up vitamin D, burning calories, getting blood and endorphines flowing, etc...and it's something I enjoy....a work I can see the results of, etc. ANYWAY. There's my update. Will keep you posted.
P.S. The nuerontin has been helping my RLS at night. I can tell a big difference when I take it. Also, though the Dr. said it could leave me feeling drowsy in the morning but so far I don't feel like it has. I'm on 100mgs of this, only at night.
I have been very tired but I don't think it's the nuerontin b/c it's more in the middle of the day. Could be part of the w/ds mixed with a little depression from the lack of endorphines/seratonin or whatever it is that opiates tend to produce more of. I drink coffee and red bulls to help with the energy but then I feel more irritable and anxious. Any suggestions for this problem?
I haven't started "working out" but I have started working in my flower garden/ yard which is more of a work-out than many would realize, so that's my way of working muslces, soaking up vitamin D, burning calories, getting blood and endorphines flowing, etc...and it's something I enjoy....a work I can see the results of, etc. ANYWAY. There's my update. Will keep you posted.
Just wanted to give you some support. Sounds like you are doing great with the taper. Stay strong and keep fighting. You will be through this before you know it. I'll say a prayer for you. I hope that you continue with the minimal symptoms. Good luck to you!
Hi! I just wanted to tell you that I've been watching your thread & I think you're doing wonderfully.
I would suggest, if at all possible, that you cut out the caffeine & the Red Bulls while you're in this phase of your detox. They tend to have a rebound effect (i.e.they're ultimately draining.) They're also dehydrating. You want to give your chemistry every chance to heal. Sounds like the Neurontin is helping (boy, what a blessing, eh? RLS s**ks) If you're gardening, I'd say you're already exercising! Unfortunately, low energy is just part of detox for us all. (I try to think of it as an unpleasant but necessary rite of passage into the rebirth that we so want.) Keep up the Great Work!
I would suggest, if at all possible, that you cut out the caffeine & the Red Bulls while you're in this phase of your detox. They tend to have a rebound effect (i.e.they're ultimately draining.) They're also dehydrating. You want to give your chemistry every chance to heal. Sounds like the Neurontin is helping (boy, what a blessing, eh? RLS s**ks) If you're gardening, I'd say you're already exercising! Unfortunately, low energy is just part of detox for us all. (I try to think of it as an unpleasant but necessary rite of passage into the rebirth that we so want.) Keep up the Great Work!
Trade the caffeine drinks for Emergen-C and protein drinks. That would help a lot. The craving often comes from a need of amino acids and b vitamins. If you crave sweet, eat a protein smoothly and wait 10 minutes, you will feel satisfied. If you're craving caffeine, drink two packages of Emergenc-C and wait 10 minutes. That way, you still have your ritual beverages, but you will build endurance rather that peak and crash all day.
You are really doing this right, you amaze me. Your patience is paying off and your attitude is humble and eager. I'm sending thoughts and prayers your way.
You are really doing this right, you amaze me. Your patience is paying off and your attitude is humble and eager. I'm sending thoughts and prayers your way.
Thank you very much for the suggestions and encouragement! I have been dehydrated and drinking lots of water. I will take your suggestions on cutting out the caffeine and red bull. (I don't drink much, but I do feel the crash). It's weird to me that I feel most tired during the middle of the day...ofcourse I do work doing admin/accounting all day so... not much blood flow there, just draining of the brain. lol. Sometimes getting up and walking around helps - a LITTLE. We actually keep emergen-c here at the office so that's good, and I do enjoy the protein filled, low carb slim fasts. Surprisingly I'm not craving a lot of sweets, but my appetite is very up and down. Any thoughts on 5 hour energy?? Looks to be mostly vitamins... use to take after late night study sessions (I'm also in school) but never thru detox.
And, EvolverU, YES, the nuerontin is definately helping. I don't have tons of experience with it yet, but already, I highly recommend for RLS! I never knew. Glad my Dr. did! The day before last I didn't take it before bed. The RLS lasted all thru the day - horribly. Last night I did take it before bed and I honestly think it makes a difference not only at night, but morning to noon too.
Geeze, it's crazy how sensitive my body is to each taper - even such a small amount! I wonder if it's just me - of course I know everyone is different.
Again, thanks all for the encouragement & advice. Much appreciated!
And, EvolverU, YES, the nuerontin is definately helping. I don't have tons of experience with it yet, but already, I highly recommend for RLS! I never knew. Glad my Dr. did! The day before last I didn't take it before bed. The RLS lasted all thru the day - horribly. Last night I did take it before bed and I honestly think it makes a difference not only at night, but morning to noon too.
Geeze, it's crazy how sensitive my body is to each taper - even such a small amount! I wonder if it's just me - of course I know everyone is different.
Again, thanks all for the encouragement & advice. Much appreciated!
The 5 hour energy has a lot of caffeine in it. I just couldn't (and still can't) do the caffeine. My anxiety level was through the roof and even a tiny bit set me off. It also can be very dehydrating, so kinda counterproductive if you are striving to stay super hydrated. Maybe instead of the high caffeine drinks, try a V8 juice with lots of good vitamins. I do that during the day when I hit a slump and it seems to help. Good luck to you! I know how hard and boring it is to sit all day!
Thanks for your input. I'll stay away from the 5hour energy, and all other energy drinks....except that occasional cup of coffee in the morning - that still hits the spot sometimes. Not even for the caffeine so much, just the taste and warmth. Would do decaf, but they don't have that at work. I figure one small cup every other morning won't hurt ;-)
Day 2 back down to .25 mgs. Not fun. First day did ok. As I said before, the nuerontin really helped with the RLS, and I had to take my second dose a little early (a few hours) and that was after aching for 2 hours prior. This morning I hurt as soon as I got up - BAD. Couldn't make it to work on time. Had to wait it out. I had a BAD migraine which I blame mostly on sinuses BUT my legs were aching too. All day has been a battle. RLS, and extreme tiredness. It's crazy how the wds seem to come and go from day to day. And I still can't believe that uping the dose for just two weeks set me back months. Geeze. That really is 'depressing' but also a good lesson learned. I can't wait to stabilize back on .25. Here's the plan: Stabilize first then start trying to increase the amount of time between each dose. Normally it's 7am and 5pm (that's .125mg each time). Here lately it's had to be 7am & 3pm. Plan is to get back to 7&5 then 7&7 and so forth until I can reach a once a day dose. This is not a recommenation, just my own personal plan which might I add has yet to be accomplished. I PRAY my Dr. continues to be patient with me. I just "know" and am scared to death that he'll kick me off (trying to help me make the jump) next time I see him. I pray not. I'm REALLY sensitive to this stuff. I feel every change, every taper, every hour.... before my set back I would forget my 5pm dose and by 6 I would be feeling bad, thinking "ugh, why do I feel like I have the flu....oh yeah...". I wan't to get back to that point though. Right now I am trying not to count down the hours, and trying not to take a little extra...but I REALLY need and want to move FORWARD!!! So I'm hanging in there. Still better than oxy or methadone wds or quiting ct considering I am able to make it thru work, just saying, it's not ez, and this is my outlet.
Day 3: better
Took the nuerontin later in the night b/c I forgot to bring it with me to class which lasted until 9:45pm - don't know if that was the reason or not, but anyway, today is better. I didn't wake up in so much pain this morn. and my legs have yet to start hurting. My shoulders are achy, but this is normal - caused by stress, intensified by wd's.
I actually started feeling better as soon as I took my second dose yesterday. Like I said, seems to be up and down, coming in waves currently.
I believe that toughing it thru the 'waves' will get me thru!!!
Took the nuerontin later in the night b/c I forgot to bring it with me to class which lasted until 9:45pm - don't know if that was the reason or not, but anyway, today is better. I didn't wake up in so much pain this morn. and my legs have yet to start hurting. My shoulders are achy, but this is normal - caused by stress, intensified by wd's.
I actually started feeling better as soon as I took my second dose yesterday. Like I said, seems to be up and down, coming in waves currently.
I believe that toughing it thru the 'waves' will get me thru!!!
TWO WEEKS ON POINT 25 MG: Beggining to feel stable. Ready to start trying to increase hours between doses!
Hey there! It's great to see you checking in. Congratulations on your Big 2 weeks. How's it going? Are you sleeping? Let us know how you're feeling.
Feeling stable is the best way I know to put it. The RLS has subsided, and my body doesn't ache all day (except my stupid shoulder which hurt even when I was sober - and that pain is intensified), but other than that I feel almost normal. HOWEVER, about 2-3 o'clock I start feeling fluish. If I can stay busy I can make it past 3 o'clock when I take my second dose. I AM sleeping - often aided with some wine and a heating pad that goes around your neck/shoulders, but at least I'm sleeping. I still hurt at night, but can lay still long enough to fall asleep. It's weird, the RLS seemed to work it's way up to my back, but is getting better day by day. I haven't had any real stomach issues. I'm hoping August will be my month to break free! :-)
Hi there! (me again..) I'm so glad to hear that the RLS is gone along with the most of the body aches. The intensified pain in your shoulder might very well be due to 'hyperalgesia' &/or rebound pain. (the opiate actually lowers your pain threshold after a while. Also, you'll feel pain [as well as everything else!] more intensely during withdrawal.) That's great news about SLEEP (ahhh..sleep, that great elusive healer!) It sounds like you're doing all the right things & the taper is going well. So, you're on .25 right now? Hang in there & keep up the great work!
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