Trying This With A New Outlook

[kparker407]

08/02/2010

Good Morning MedHelp,

My name is Kyle I am an addict. My drug of choice is oxycodone so the withdraws are horrible. I only went as far as snorting them, never used needles thank God. I am on day two and i want to conquer these demons more than anything in my life. No xanax to help no suboxone. Cold turkey. I have began to pray everyday for strength and courage to fight these demons and to forgive me for the sins of myself and my friends and to help guide us away from this darkness and into the light of recovery. The majority of the people I know struggle with this. People look to me as a leader, an a leader I am. I have to set the example of being clean and they will follow in my path. If they chose not to then they will be "known undesirables".

If anyone could give me some words to keep me motivated, even a few, it helps. Im 21 and an aspiring doctor and if i keep this up I could lose my dream. If I can recover I will have no problem being accepted and attending medical school, which is very difficult for those of you who don't know. I love to help people even in the smallest ways.

Starting today I'm breaking out of this addiction, I will face this addiction, and get my life back on track today.

Thanks

K.

[Tab57]

Hi Kyle,

Congratualtions for making the move toward clean living! You will need emotional support during this time and I would suggest that you look into NA. Also I will be praying for you. You seem very dtermined to do ths cold turkey which is most dificult but it can be done.

Good luck and God Bless,
Tom

[ang_811]

I'm at 38 days today and I'm doing amazing! It's all about prayer and postive thinking that will get u to where u want to be. I know from ezperience. God delvered me from my withdrawls and he didn't give me nething that he knew I couldn't bare. It's the reason I've made it this far. Ur doing a great job so far by accepting the fact u have a problem with pills. Ur very lucky to have realized that at such a young age. Whenever ur feeling discourage and want to use remind urself about ur dreams of becoming a doctor and wanting to help others. Remember what ur active addiction lifestyle has to offer which is nothing but pain and suffering and the feeling of being alone. Remeber the person u used to be b4 ur addiction took over ur life. I'm here to tell u that I am the happiest I've eve been. I was handed a new life and a fresh start. Good luck to u

[Cris718]

Hello! And welcome to the forum!  Now, for starters, I am not familiar with snorting them, I only took my Lortab orally.  But I'm sure that there are some people on here who can help with that issue.

My concern for you, is I understand you don't want any kind of medication to help, and I admire that.  But sometimes you need some help.  Are you really that determined to go cold turkey?  I'm not doubting you can do it, because you seem quite ready to quit.  I have quit cold turkey and ended right back where I was.  I'm on day 5, I went to the doctor, admitted my probelm and he gave me a few scripts to help.  They really helped with the nerves, the sickness, the overall feeling of wanting to die.  Consider all your options.

Now, as far as the part about people looking at you as a leader, I really can relate.  I am a Children's Director at my church, and I was SCARED to death to go to my doctor, because all the woman that have their kids in my program work there, and some go to my chruch, so I was worried that the word would get out and I could possibly loose my job.  But no such thing, nobody had any clue what was going on.  he didn't even right it up because of my fear.  The main fear of coming out is that we are always afrid people are going to judge us and make assumptions that aren't true.  but you'd be very surprised how comapssionate people really can be.  Believe it or not, you're going to gain more respect by being honest with those around you.  I am finding that by admitting it, the support you get is what is going to amke the difference in getting clean.

I wish you the very best!  Please keep posting.....