Trying to break old habits

[ProdigalGirl]

Seems that I keep my subs in my back pocket during work hours. This is what I did when I was on Oxys for so long so people didn't see me go in my purse so often b/c  my purse was  was locked up. I tried soooo hard to break this habit, but the way my doctor prescribes my subs, I have to keep them with me. This TRIGGERS me in my pocket. Should I go against my doctor's advice and take them as a whole pill in the am? I am on a high dose now and need to take a few a day. Was told not to take them after 5pm b/c it disrupts sleep. Should I keep them in my car and go out for lunch and drive around and take the subs then? I feel in my back pocket ALL day long. This has become a habit that I need to break. Old habits die hard I guess. But, at work since multiple people come into my office their is a chance they could steal from me therefore we have to lock up our purses. I am at a loss here. Somedays I never get a lunch due to my profession and my car is parked in a garage. Can I continue to keep these in my pockets and tell myself they are not oxys? I also need my benzos and occasional ultrams for real bad days which I keep there. Will taper  the benzos   after opiate addiction. Seems like this really triggers me. Should I just take the chance and keep my purse in my office? If I lose one or two subs, no big deal. Just don't want an addict telling on me. How do I change this habit?

[goldenarm]

I always thought that if you took a opiate,( Ultram) Or Oxycontin, Percodan, etc with a Suboxone 8mg it would send you into withdrawl? No? Can someone please explain that to me?Did i read this wrong...

[catmagnet]

You're right on target with the ssi subject. Nothing is worse for your mental health than too much time and not enough $$. I'm not on the system either, not sure and don't care if I qualify. I've seen too many good people go to hel in a handbasket because of government run programs. If you have the strength to work like you do, then you have a good head on your shoulders. You just need to keep your hands out of your pocket. I really wish you the best of luck...cat

[ProdigalGirl]

GREAT idea. I never thought of that. Will try that tommorow maybe with my make up purse or something similiar. Thanks again  

[worried878]

I would bring a psuedo purse to work...get an old small purse that just has stuff for work in it...not ur real purse with ur wallet and all and keep it in ur office...if u r worried someone will go thru ur psuedo-purse then have the subhs in an unmarked bottle or an advil bottle or sumpin.l..no one knows what a sub looks like less they have taken it......u could put a little cash for lunch, some make up if u want to and a brush...and ur stuff...whatever....i leave my "real" purse at home when I go to work and take a small little wallet thing to work but it hold alot of stuff/license too...just an idea

[ProdigalGirl]

My addiction doc also prescribes the ultram ER and I brought up thr fact that I was afraid to get accicted the Ultam. She/he said and I quote" I would rather have you to get addicted to Ultram than take all the Motrin etc that you have been taking with your  bleeding disorder. I  was taking an extreme amount of Advils, Naproxen etc to try to control my pain during work.What the he77? I am an extreme case. Ya'll don't know what I suffer from and it is relentless. Isolating, depressing etc. No pity party here, just the facts. I am at a loss and have to go to bed.

Nite,
Ya'll

[ProdigalGirl]

Take 4 mg at 6:30 and another at 7:30 before work starts then I am a loss.Myabe I can sit in my car (parked far away and it snowed here the other day) and take the other 8 mgs. Dam* 2 cold for that.Seriously don'tknow what to do. Yes. "Wild" my doc prescribes the benzos. Crazy as it seems I have genaralized anxiety so bad I can't function. I am not a sucker of the system. Work 3 jobs, too proud for ssII and will continue the fight. Not that people don't SSI, I just fight through this. My specialty is sought out and get crazy job offers for lots of $ for my services. I worked hard, blood, sweat and tears to get where I am now. I am in pain the entire time. I for sure would qualify for ssI. Staying home would make my mental status worse. I have a waiting list for ppl to see me. I owe them my best. I need this forum.Please to the above people who this is responded for help me please. SOS here. no hard feelings k? Just kind comments. I NEVER EVER EVER HOLD GRUDGES against anyone with whom I agree or disagree with. I am  a good person. :)O

[ProdigalGirl]

My doc knows about my benzos. Was honest bout the drinking too. Take 24 mg a day , sometimes 32 depending on my pain. Take 8mg in the am, 8mg at luch at 8mg at 4:30. Don't know where to put my afternoon dose. Am at a loss here. Will continue to put in back pocket until I hear a response that will help.


God bless all.

[wildwoodone]

does the doctor that gave you the subs know you are taking the benzo's and ultram?  I would be very careful there, especially with the benzo's.  

[avisg]

How many mg are you on a day

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

How about a very discrete container that you could keep anticipated doses of whatever in? I wouldnt say to continue doing anything associated with triggers. Break all of that you can find. Tape a couple of the suckers to your waistband (inside) if you have to ..... but break the cycle....