What did it take for you to lose?

[wannabefree330]

Denial is a major part of addiction.  Many of us continued our use for the mere fact we "hadn't lost anything".  How far did you have to fall before realizing you had an addiction problem?  Many newcomers believe their problem 'isn't that bad' because they still have a job, their home, their family......what did it take for you to lose in order to sober up?  

Newcomers- I hope this opens your eyes a little, please learn from our mistakes and don't go through this pain and suffering.  Quit before it gets this bad!

Wannabe

[mtgoat911]

lost all that and more!!!

desperation was my greatest gift

[j34]

All of above and more I lost my will to live and wanted to commit suicide. I lost my skills to live as a human and was on the street living like an animal. Oh don';t forget the jails,institutions(nut wards)(recovery houses)(houses for battered woman)(Sally Annes),and comas,near death experiences  

[SophieShine]

None of the above!
I was losing myself, escaping from reality. One day I looked in the mirror and what I saw scared me so much...it wasn't me anymore. I was looking like a corpse who forgot to die. And my brain was felling like jelly. I couldn't read, learn, paint or remember anything.
That's what made me bounce.

[Bear13]

Dignity, self respect, trust, relationships, friends, pride, self esteem, money, my sense of self, almost my life.....

[heather_r]

I am lucky my husband and family have supported me. I almost lost my nursing license, job, and freedom. I am in a program for chemically dependent nurses for 5 years. For legal problems I am in a program for about a year and when I am finished I am lucky there will be no record of what I did. Between the 2 programs I am so busy besides working part time. I go to 3 meetings a week, counseling, group meetings, weekly UA's, 120 hours of community service. So if you are still using and doing it illegally my advice is to stop now. I had to go to a prison and 4 inmates talked with us about prison life. Very scary! I still consider myself lucky, I have 3 great kids, my husband, my job, and I am 6 months clean.  The guilt is still terrible!

[CYMER]

The VA just cut me off. I never thought of it as a problem – at least not until I was off.  I’m sure glad they did…if it were not for this pain thing, I’d be OK…

[ProdigalGirl]

I lost my mind!!! Lost control. Didn't care that I was in severe debt which I am still trying to fix. Constant paranoia. This was the worst for me. Never being able to relax. Always thinking that someone knew I was on opiates even though they were prescribed. I wonder if opiates are worth it all. Right now, I think I'd rather be in pain.

[snowflake620]

I lost myself.my hope my desires and my dreams.
snowflake

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

mersyndol is a combination of around 10mg codeine and muscle relaxant........about like a soma and tylenol #2 combined - - something like that.......

[lovemypillhead]

what is mersyndol

[liscamdave]

I lost my husband and that still didn't make me quit. He died from an over dose and I found him cold and blue and tried to resuscitate him myself while the paramedics were in route. It a vision I still see on a daily basis and it wasn't enough to make me stop. I mean, it was...because I quit immediately and went through his funeral in w.d and stopped for a month, but then relapsed. I then went on to spend the entire 100,000 I got in death benefits. I spent all my savings and every single penny of every check I got on a weekly basis. I stopped paying bills as well as my mortgage and am now going to lose my home because of it. I am clean now, over 400 days and am still paying for my addiction.

[kim715]

I lost my dignity,my self respect,the respect of my family.I didn't lose any material things that I already had,but I could have had so much more if I wouldn't have been spending so much money on the pills.

[Sunnyd210]

I didnt lose anything. I just needed to be free of the constant worry and fear of running out of pills. I only took what my drs gave me but I always felt like I was at their mercy. My pain Dr moved and the new dr that took over for him was good but I was always afraid that she would cut me off SO I got off of them before that happened.

[refusingbondage]

I lost many things and people due to my addiction and theirs. Ive known too many people who lost their lives.  I lost my self respect.  I lost my heart and soul and I destroyed myself and others in the process.  I did things I wish I could forget to feed my addiction and hurt people who loved me.  There was no particular 'bottom' for me.  I just became exhausted.  I couldn't keep up the facade anymore. I was sick and tired of being enslaved to my habit and owned by my addiction.  I wanted freedom.  

[dominosarah]

I lost the love and respect of my daughter and now my grandson.  The pain i am feeling now is something i cant describe.  It is just breaking my heart..............

[princessjulieanne]

While I did lose a job because of drugs...strangely enough what is really setting my mind to quit taking the mersyndol is when the girl at the pharmacy asked if I wanted to speak to the pharmacist to see if something stronger should be taken because I was buying a bottle of 100 per week there.  Little did she know I was also buying a bottle each at the other 2 drugstores in town.  Its now been 38 hrs since taking my last mersyndol fix of 8 pills last night was long without sleep and I am achy but reading what a lot of folks are going through on here I realize that I have nothing to complain about my heart goes out to those addicted to the hard core stuff I can't even begin to imagine the hell you are going through my prayers and thoughts for you all.

[worried878]

never really klost anything listed... i am single so no relationships were too badly severed i dont think..i do think i lost part of myself tho..which is alot

[disFUNctional]

I Lost about 4 years of my childrens lives...and i will NEVER get thet back.  That is the hardest thing I have had to come to grips with.  I was there for them but not REALLY there.  My relationship with them was becoming horrible and I could not let that happen.  I became sober and my kids were all grown up.....very sad.

[merrymaria]

i lost who i was...from being numb so many years i blacked it out somewhat...others around me saw it coming but i continued to numb up till i told me self...this is not you...stop this nonsense now...i wanted to be normal so much...and when you are spending much money on pills that do nothing something is wrong there...thats when it hit me to stop....maria :(

[avisg]

I decided to quit when I found out my 8 year old had Cancer he need  mom to take care of him.....

[Ronnie152]

I didn't loose any of them, I lost my clear thinking and my feelings and my time. I stopped because I am 41 and I am to old for this. What started out to be for fun ended up a job. Always working towards the next score, many days wasted on thinking where I am going to get them and if I will have enough for the day. It's so nice now thinking about life, my home and family now.

[gizzy32]

I hit a few bottoms, but it never stopped me. I had overdosed, starting running up credit cards, became very sickly and wanted to die, but like i have mentioned on here, it took the ultimate bottom for me to quit. Overdosing that night and being put on that stretcher in the ambulance is NO DOUBT my bottom of bottoms. The ribs that popped after my convulsions left me on the floor for 6 hours and i suffered pain i didn't know existed. All i could do was move my toes and I promised myself it was time to change my life if i lived cause there were moments i thought i was a goner. That fear saved me and it's so sad I let it get to that point. I will never forget that night as long as I live.

[wannabefree330]

I lost my job due to my stealing drugs from work.  Ended up getting divorced 2 years afterward, and lost my home as well.  My kids have suffered greatly due to my stupidity and denial.  Wish i would have sought help much sooner than I did.  i will have problems getting jobs the rest of my life.