What is wrong with me

[tigerlily75]

What is wrong with me? ive had a problem with pain pills half my life, getting them for my endometriosis, cysts, and fibroids. I have used them as prescribed at first, then started buying them off the streets, having to take tons just to feel " normal".

And getting them off the streets quickly lead to all kinds of opiates, and before I knew it I was crazy addicted to snorting roxy 30s.

During all these years, I have tried getting clean and have even stayed clean for a couple months here and there.

And now I'm trying to quit for good. I started trying November 10. I keep getting close to my 30 day mark, and I end up taking something. Today I took a Percocet 10.

I've been in therapy for quite a while and take 4 different meds for my depression PTSD and anxiety.

I just don't understand why I can't stay clean!!!! What is wrong with me????

[ariley13]

I didn't think you did, but didn't want to assume anything. I am so proud of you! I'm not sure many of us could have passed that test. I can't believe they are acting in such a way. It's just awful. Again, I'm so sorry you are in this environment and being treated this way. Stay strong girl!

[tigerlily75]

No I didn't take the pills. I screamed and yelled and so did everyone else. It was crazy and awful. Me and my kids are locked in the bedroom and my parents are locked in theirs. I don't know how long thus will last though. I wish I could just run away safe somewhere with mg kids and no pills and no pressure or problems...

[Bubulous]

That stinks.....
I have heard of enablers but that is just ridiculous.  I am sorry that is the kind of support that you have.

[Bubbleguppie100]

I seriously cannot believe they offered you a f@cking pill so you can keep cleaning. Ugh! You're a very strong individual.

[Bubbleguppie100]

Are you freaking kidding me? Your parents are seriously treating you like this? OMFG!! I am soo sorry. Stay very close to us. Damn, they're lucky to have you as a daughter. I would have flipped out on them. How are you holding up right now?

[ariley13]

I'm sorry Tigerlily. That sounds like a very unhealthy, and unsupportive environment. I'm glad that you are on here venting a little. Did you take the pill they offered you?