Withdrawal and Depression

[OxyDout]

I finally got to post!! I have been experiencing severe withdrawal/depression the last few days, so much that I have found myself crying on a few occasions, I have been feeling like there is no way out of this awful life style, and if I get close to being clean, I get scared when I think of leading a sober life..... I can't handle it anymore, I lie to everyone, I hurt everyone and I waste all my godamn money on drugs, what the hell is the point?  If it weren't for people in this forum, its a possibility I might not be here right now.  How do I ease this pain, physically and mentally....... I would appreciate any and all posts. I hope I make it through this, I'm not feeling so well.  GWH  I will be here all day.

[1fortheroad]

having a 4 year old is a blast and so is having a 5 year old...she is wonderful and a large part of why i need to keep this commitment to myself.

are you feeling any better yet - any energy kick in today?  i want to hear as soon as you are feeling more normal...it will give me hope.  i have gone thru the same feelings as you, but i've never made it to 5 weeks...

have you tried taking amino acids?  opiate addicts really need to replenish themselves with them - that might help a little.

[OxyDout]

Hinkster, you mean west of Boston........ haha, I'm not to far away from you, but I would like to keep that somewhat private, either way, DON'T FREAK OUT, You need to take meds, you have to manage your pain, I don't have the pain, I take oxy's strictly for the "high".  You are a whole different story, take care of yourself, you need to live pain, free, when and if you need to cut the meds, cross that bridge when it comes, for now, enjoy life, but stick to the amount that is prescribed, ok? No worrys, don't sweat the small stuff, keep your head up and stay focused.

Groovy, Yea, I'm a little drained is all, i'm getting a little bit of anxiety but nothing severe, it goes in spurts, its weird, its like my body says "we haven't had drugs in a while" and it goes into the mentality like I have been looking for drugs but can't score, you know that feeling, right? god its awful, I have trained my body to mentally "jones" for a while during the day, but I can beat it, its little things that bring me around, like my girlfriend, or the sun, or this FORUM!! I will be here, I'm not going anywhere except forward!!! keep up the posts. Talk to you soon.

GWH

[lanas]

Yes, I've wondered about the xanax, and have gone as long as 15 hours without it and still feel this badly, but my shaking and breathing gets so badly, I can't fundction without it.  I am also on paxil which is supposed to help with these other symptoms but won't "kick in" for another week.  I'm terribly excited to be off the xanax.  I think it is very interesting that you only take 1 (now 1/2) a vic a day.  And at night at that.  Does it help you sleep?  My intake was always for more energy.  THank you for the comments.  I keep thinking I should not be feeling this badly after 5 weeks too.  But I am really avoiding the drug route.  I'm giving this another 3 weeks and then I'll reevaluate where I am and what else I can do (but not go back...).  Going back is just a dead end in the long run.  I really do know that.  Isn't having a 4 year old a blast?

[1fortheroad]

you aren't sounding as good as you did this weekend - remember this is the hard part...this is the hardest part, in my opinion, to make it thru.  please hang on - this will pass eventually and then you will be free!

i'm very aware of what's been going on in the catholic church, but not specifically what you are talking about.  it all makes me ill.  why don't they let those freakin priests get married?  less and less of those evil men would try to get into the profession if they knew it wasn't a safe-haven...ok...i better just stop before i offend someone - sorry if i have already, but this subject never ceases to disgust me.

gwh - i hope you are ok.  i've started to rely on this board, and when the posting goes slowly i start to feel bad...us addicts want a response NOW...haha

[Hinkster]

-gwh,groovy,dive,lanas-
  You guys are scaring the **** out of me. Is anyone on the reciepe? I know my time will come to stop this madness and
reading what you are going through is making it tough for me to
wind down. Then again the pain, what do I do about the pain? Right now I'am committed for life unless something changes. If
something does change then I'll hopefully know the consequences
and with everyones help I'll be able to do it. Incidently I'am
from East of Boston near Springfield. Smaller world.
Tom

[OxyDout]

You guys still out there, I'm sure skipper is just taking a break, but I know your listening, groovy? is everything ok? please let me know how your day is going, I'm losing strength every minute.  I watched "stepmom" the other night, I think that is the movie, anyway, its with Julia Roberts and I forget the other actress,  ahhhhh!! thats annoying, anyway, she is dying of cancer......after that, I realized I have nothing to complain about, I did this to myself, and I need to suck it up.  It could be a lot worse, i could be terminally ill and not have a choice. Ive been selfish and I'm going to turn this around.

GROOVY, have you watched the News, about the child molestation within the church, I don't know if you have but "Greg Ford" has been all over the news, he has been a good friend of my brother and me for a long time, his mom is in the chior with mine etc... and its awful, I know your local which is why i'm asking, plus Its one of those things that really depresses me..........