you were all right look better 2 day

[natalile]

as some of you no i really hate looking bad of gear & vanity was/is part of the many reson's i want & am goona get clean. Wekll today was the first time in age's i looked in the mirror & acualy liked what i saw. my skin has go from gray to pink, hair's lookig shiner & i feel alot srtonger inside. mainly thank's to people on here so thank you. i'v got the bug now getting clean bug i think if i can look beter after just 17 day's, Day 18 today & 1 relaps i will be looking good for crimbo which will make my mum happy as she no's i was still useing. Not to the point of going out comiting crime ( shoppliffting ect ) . But she new. Mum's just do when they have had a addict for a long time & the 13 - 14 years i've put her through.She could even tell when i spoke to her no the phone. Is it the longer you'v been an addict it take's to get back what you once had are looking after yourslwf. i do that enyway my job is active & two kid's keep me on my toe's but i was just wondering outher people's experiance's do pesription pillas have the same affect on you look's? nat:) p.s feeling great today hope your all ok

[natalile]

hi Abit like my i'm still no methadone but i class myself as clean.I no i might sound like a cpoe out but heroin was what i needed to come of first & i new there's no way i colud just stop both.God i'd ov been out shopliffting to feed my habit if i gave them both up at once.I do want to be free from meth aswell but one race at a time.I'v used herion for so long 13 - 14 - years more like 13 buy eny way after been on it that long i thimn i'm doing ok at keeping of it. The methadone just meas i can work & be there for my kid's i'd probably be in jail if i didn't have something. Sometimes when i read story's on here i thnk i,m a loser coz i'm no 100% drug free. For now i'm clean of the drug that was really changing my life alot for the worst't. It just mean's i'm gonna be on the sight along time lol as i've got a few issues to sort out even weed tha's at the bottom of the list. So yes you are clean & don't think your ever not. You soundlike you no where your going with you recovery & everyone has different view some think you have to bee 100% drug free but that's not my personal opinion. I think everyone has a right to get clean/sober whoever they feel best about doing so .Yes it would be lovely been totaly drug free but day 19 today is something to b proud of i think. I hope you pruod of yourself for been clean 28 day's it's not a easy fight. I no what you mean about it been legel my mum Has been a drinker  for since i can remember . But she does't see that she has an addiction atall because it's legal. Where i think been on gear is just the same as someone who drink's heavely as it's still adccition's my dad's addiction killed him & that was fag's he died of a ashma attake i was in jail at the time but was allowed out for his funeral. I just hope he's lokking down & can see hoe i've got my life back on track. It would of made him so proud. I've gone from a life of crime to working for the last 4 years. Do you work? what do you do is it nice where you live, Have you got a partner? write bk soon keep in touch go to go it,s 6.50am over here & i have to get ready for work & kid's for school see ya soon keep smiling :) nat xx

[natalile]

Doctor's have alot to answer for sometime's. They hand pill's out like smartie's not thinking of the people useing them.I'm glad to here you realised quite soon but long enough to get a hadit the bad side of it. The staying clean in my past has alway's been the hard part for me but this time just feel's ready. I'VE HAD IT. ha ha i want my life back & for my kid's to have mum & dad that are fully there for them. I'm glad your cutting down the way you are. And it's working for you so your doing exellant hope your ok tonight on 1/4 you can do it .The retlessness is a killer i hate the night shift it get's called in uk. When your up rattling all night. Hope to here from you soon & enytime you need help just put on a post everyone is here for one another we're all in the same boat justsome ov use are futher down the river which is really goog coz they can inspire you to not use for just that day which will make all the difference. As you might not feel like useng the next day. Good luck all the bset nat xx :)

[imanaddict]

I have been clean for 28 days and counting now. But, I am on suboxone, and some will consider that "Not clean" but I DO!  I was taking 30-60 Norco a day, so yeah, it's clean to me! LOL!!! I got addicted to them due to a bad back. I had been on them for a little over two years, and finally decided enough was enough! I have tried heroin many years ago, and I liked it so much, I stopped after using a few times. I didn't want to go down that road, and I thank God I had the strength to do it too. I have pretty much dabbled in every drug there is, but pain pills are the drug that stuck with me and got hooked on for some reason. I guess because it was legal.

[natalile]

Thank you. how long have you been clean now? where you perscribed your pill's of your doc & got hooked that way ? or did you self medicate. I self medicated then the doc put me on vallium. Then heroin can out of nowhere then was a massive part of my life roe alot ov year's but i hope i'm getting there. One day at a time eh!. We had the perfect EXCUSE it use today.We have to give a urine sample every two week's which i no is eazy to get out of your sysetm as it's only 3 day's for heroin. Enyway my fella's drug worker phoned to say he couldn't make the appoinment.& we were both on bit of a low ya no when you can just sence what's on your partner's mind well it was there with both of use. But we pfoper stuck it out so that's another day done.I love it the pain's gone ( almost) & the mental side of it i'm starting to concore ha ha. I shouldn't be so sure so soon really but it's all good at the mo. One good thing is i can come on here & you all help me along. Have you got a partner ect? hope to hear from you soon nat xx

[imanaddict]

I have heard the same thing from EVERYONE around me! They all keep telling me they can see the "life" back in my eyes again. I didn't realize the pills were taking away my beauty! LOL!

I have been following your story, and I was sad when you mentioned that you relapsed, but it happens girl! Don't beat yourself up over it, look at it as a learning experience and keep on going! If you ever need to chat, PLEASE message me!! I will be happy to talk you through anything if needed!

Good luck sweetie!

[frankie165]

I am working on being clean.  I got sick in July and was prescribed percocet.  I have been using them since.  I was up to 5-10 a day.  Went through 4 bottles of 90 since the end of August.  Didn't really realize what I was getting in to.  Feeling better and need to go back to work-so I just decided it was time to stop.  I was sick.  Realized that I had got myself into a mess.  Well, I have worked on stopping all week.  I have taken a half a pill when I couldn't bear the w/d.  the last couple of days, I have only taken 1/2 at night time-can't stand that restless feeling at night.  Going to try taking 1/4 tonight.  I feel lucky to have not gotten farther into this dangerous road than I did. I know Iwill be more careful about what I take in the future.  

This forum has been very helpful.  REalizing what people go through to get and stay clean is nothing short of amazing!

Again, 18 days is awesome!  

[natalile]

hope you have a good hol to

[natalile]

hi frankie. Ilive in preston just down the road from manchester small world eh! so they say. Enyway how long have you been clea? what are you getting clean of?. Im coming of heroin & coming of methadone but that's a slw process not to slw though. thanksgiving sound's like a good idea everyone giving thank'ds & all that. some people just take life so for granted they dont no how presoius it really is & how short it can be also. God getting morbid soz. Hve you had a good day you'll have to write back to let me no where yor at in recovery. i have relapsed once in 18 day's me & my partner shared a £10 bag so only halg a bag. Better then 6 - 7 a day eh see ya round nat ;

[frankie165]

Congrats on 18 days!  That is an amazing accomplishment!  I am glad you are looking and feeling better.  Welcome back to your life.

I spent 6 weeks in Manchester, England for a job I had a few years back.  It was over the holidays and I was surprised when there was no Thanksgiving.  The people I worked with told me they had always thought it was like our Christmas also.  I was very homesick on THanksgiving over there so I did my best to create it with my co-workers.  I made them a "traditional" Thanksgiving meal with a large Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and all the trimmings.   I even made them go around the table and tell one thing that they were thankful for that day.  They loved it.

We celebrate it on the 4th Thursday of November.  In my family, It is a day that we gather, have a large meal, and remember all we have to be thankful for.  We still have Christmas and New Year, the same as you do.

Hope your holidays are wonderful!

[natalile]

hi chick
ye i no belive it or not i'v no pik's of me on the computer but i was thinking about it today i'm gonna strat taking monthly pik's to see the difference ( sad or what ) lol. But your right i did feel fine today two fine looking girl's ready for our new extra fine live's i trhink ! we deserve it. I did have a digital camera & the memory card fit in my p.c but it gor robbed when the house got robbed about a month ago. It proper freaked me coz i fogot to lock the back door. Me & dylan fell asleep downstairs & i worked it out  they must of come in abot 3am they wipde us out. I even won the first every voucher's work where giving housekeeping once a month for best room's & i won it £25 for boot's but they took stuff that they new where there if you no what i ment i can only be someone we let in the house. That's another reson we don't have people in enymore we car't trust eny of them. enyway the camera was my praie & joy like my ipod which i've replace but i used the camera for selling on ebay it was wicked. I hate bugglers mugers ect. What if dylan had wokw up they would of hit him GOD!. Enyway back to topic soz got carried away like alway's lol i wll get a camera i think i'v got a digital 1 that i just plug into p.c just got to install it. Chat soon see ya you look fab nat xx ;)

[natalile]

crimbo is christmas in englang i don't think we have thank's giving my m8t that's sat here while i'm on here said she think's it's your chritmas & new year but i thought you had crhistmas & new year? enyway it's the best holiday lol. You where the first person to tell me to hang in there & i will start to look better & if been vain is what help's me in recovery then let it be .There's no rules when it come's to the thing's that help a person get clea.it's what work's for them i think. Enyway how are you doing? good i hope i'm gonna read that writing on the effect's of opiat's on the brain ect in your profile. I finally had the corage to a poam in i wrote about two yeras ago in my profile. Now all i want to do is put pen to paper it''s finding the time as back at work again. We have to take all our holidays before dec if not then we lose them & still have two day's left.it's gone really quiet at the mo with all the british hols been over enyway keep in touch how are you? . Are you coping? getting stonger every day? i really hope so i feel like i'am don't get me wrong there isnt a day goe's by that i don't feel like useing but i'v found other way's ov passing time see you around i'll defo read that item you have ion your profile nat xx

[jenny8575309]

I think so nat!  I've just been liking what I see in the mirror lately.  I just thought about it when you said that.  Another great reason to stay clean.  It's great being fine aint it?  You should post a pic so we can see what you look like!

[natalile]

thank you hun that's really nice you'r looking really well so'z ya sis aswell. there'snothing wrong with gaining a few pds. I wolud love to gain abit of weight. I only weigh about 7&half stone i need to strat to eat again. My appitite is coming back slowly.I put that to bordom at the mo soz for (speling's lol).happfully that will come back in time aswell. it alway's take's time for enything in recovery.But well worth it eh! hope your doing well you sound like you are take care nat

[flmagi]

Good morning Nat!
So happy your feeling great and looking better too. Funny how we didn't see ourselves getting so ugly (inside & out).    What's crimbo? Is that Thanksgiving in England?  What ever it is, I can't wait to hear how it goes.  
Your friend,
Magi

[allaboutmary]

I noticed the difference in my sister and I knew if her looks were changing so were mine. I just didn't look in the mirror that often while using.  I have noticed my eyes don't have black around them and skin isn't gray. Magi ( my sister) is looking so much healthier also. Now I just have to get off the 35 pds. I gained while using. Glad your feeling great.(you look great too. lol)   Mary