well i think i finally came to terms why i use drugs

[flamingogirl1]

so i have kept this hidden my whoel life and i finally told a friend and im going to tell all of you. when i was about 8yrs old i was molested by a fmaily friend and my parents never found out. he used to babysit my brother and i and he molested boht of us neither one of ever admitted it. i blocked it out so much i almsot completly forgot about it and i still dont remeber all the details i guess the mind is very powerful. anyways i told my friend and my brother is a alchoclic so we both use substance s to hide from our past. my brother is getting help so im going to join him and talk to a counselor bc until i can get through the pain from my past i will never be clean. whether its pain killers booze cocaine whatever  i need to be happy wiht myself bc right now i dont like myself and im not happy wiht myself so i cn never make anyone happy until i make myself happy. you have no idea how much better i feel just admitting this to you guys i have buried this pain inside me for so long and it needed to come out.

[VOR]

First, I'm very sorry for what you went through.  It's so unfortunate that these things happen, and we're starting to hear more-and-more about them.  I think you're doing the right thing in acknowledging and opening up with what happened.

I was doing some research recently and found some good information on dealing with stress.  When people talk about traumatic (mild or severe) events, it tends to make the situation or stress worse.  However, the studies indicated that when people sat down and actually wrote (on paper) for at least 20-minutes a day, that overall they were better able to deal with those events.  It's akin to catharsis.

Know that this is not how life is supposed to be and that you can rise above what happened and become a better person.  

[Rose703]

I know all about this hidden pain that you describe and you need to get counseling so that you can come to terms with what happened to you and your brother. I know you lose your insurance soon so start seeing one now and perhaps they will work something out with you even after your lose your coverage.

Don't worry this wound isn;t too big to be healed as long as you talk about it openly and honestly. I will pray for you.

[lucyred68]

having been a victim of three different family members in the same way, i can sure identify with what you are going through.  get some counsiling, hun, and you will feel much better and be able to rid yourself of the emotional scars.  i found that for me, the only real help i got was from my faith in God.  He can heal your mind and emotions.  I know we can ask why He let it happen, but we have to remember that He gave all of us a free will, and that man chose to use it for evil.  I have chosen to turn it around for good and try to help other victims.  You can make the same choice.  my prayers are with you for a complete healing.

Lucy

[lifesaride]

i could never imagine what your life has been like since that sick bas tard did that to you and your brother, i truely hope you get your life where it should be( and your bro) and hope that sicko gets all that hes got coming to him, I know he will.

[worried878]

it is not unusual for people to bury stuff like that...we tend to do that with things that cause pain...i had a strange experience walking home from school when i was like in first grade...never spoke of it....til much later...still kinda seems like a dream but i can picture it ...even remember he had on a tan suit...i think it made me feel odd towards men and i distanced from my dad even tho he had absolutely nothing to do with it.....it is good that u are coming to terms with it

[dominosarah]

I cant imagine the pain you are feeling but am so glad you are going to talk with someone about this tragic situation.  Im glad you wont have to hide behind your past.  The present is a great place.  You will do it.  Noone deserves what happened to you.  Here is a BIG hug for you.  May you find peace.                  sara

[GoingToMakeIt]

Hidden pain can cause so much damage. You will feel so different when you are free of this.