cincee

[hippy]

it has aslways seemed to me whenever i used everything in my life would go wrong, when i used  i would get flat tires every week.
when i used i got arrested at least 50 times' for things that i was not even part of doing.
i think they call it murphy's law , well it always had a strangle hold on my life ,whenever i  did drugs.
I somtimes thought it was my father praying for me, so i
would say to him stop praying for me , i crashed my car,
lost my job and broke my ankle  that week.

there is the other side of this story, once i started on the
road of staying clean the oppisite happened, everythin that could go right did, instead of spending my money on drugs,
and buying 5 dollar tires at the junk yard  i, bought sears steel belted raidels and never got a flat agian.
i never got arrested agian, inever lost my job agian,
i got custdy of my kids, ect, ece,
when i got clean and went to meetings it was like i was invisible
to the cops, and invisible to bad things coming my way.

i am writing this because  cincee posted that the only na meeting she could find was i the bad lands,in her town
and she would not go there unarmed, well my experence
has always been ,whenever we make that effort or surrender to
go to meetings , we seem to be invisible to trouble.
i grew up in the bad lands in philly so i understand her concern.
when ever i went back to the badlands to start meetings
or attend them i was a little leary but nothing ever happened.
CINCEE -call the na hotlone and ask , there are a lot of meetings not listed , talk to smeone sbout ,in your area.

[Chezz]

I can't get in here to post very much. I am still hurting alot, plus the numbness. I finally went to the ER on fri. night. they gave me a shot, it didn't help too much. they also gave me a couple viciden to last till today. i still haven't got more than an hour or so of sleep at a time.
Now my reg doc doesn't want to put me back on meds. so they are shuffling me around. i am at wy wits end. i don't know what to do.
i also cant get in here to post cause it is hard to get around.
Chezz

[CATUF]

http://www.netives.com/Games/SpeedMarbles/Play.njsp

[onestep]

CinCee....If you can find a NA meeting or even an AA meeting that's in a better space...you can go but just listen...you don't have to say who you are...I remember going to my first. I was afraid because I grew up here and I've been in the media a lot...so I didn't want anyone to know....but people do know to some extent...Anyway...going to listen to others, much like this forum, lets one know they are not alone. One thing I have a hard time with is finding a meeting where people have years of being clean. When you have 5, 10 20 years clean time..there are different conversations dealing with good old regular life issues, not the panic type meetings where there's a lot of whineing going on. It's ok mind you...I'm not trying to make judgements...just saying what a friend who's got 30 years says.

I must say that starting the clonidine a few weeks ago has helped me taper considerably well...from 6 to 8 Norcos a day to 3 or 4. Ive also started to work out at a gym at 5:30 am...5 days now. It's hard to break patterns but one has to. I'm a double amputee and staring at two more operations in the next 12 months...one a major skin graft and it scares me big time. I'm working out to get my veins in shape for one thing, but get the endorphens going in my head for another. When I get to the gym in the morning on my crutches with no arm or leg everyone looks at me as inspiration....little do they know how depressed and ready to give up I am at times.

Moxy---you bet it has an effect on the old sex drive. It depresses the whole system...and I know I risk response from the women reading this, but for us guys it's much harder ( no pun intended ) to fake being interested...:-) Luckly my wife has been going through menapause these last few years without HRT and her drive is low to non-existant as well. We do love and care for each other a great deal so it has not been a big issue.

As the body's functions become back to normal the physical ramifications become apparent...it's the mental stuff that's still a fight.


Keep up the fight..." The obscure we see eventually, the completely obvious it seems takes longer " Emerson

[hippy]

hi there, i could not find the questions you were refering to.
post them agian , and i would answer if i can.
peace
michael

[Thomas02]

I can never seem to find an NA meeting that isn't a relapse damage prevention drill. But in AA/NA's defense, I doubt if Bill W. envisioned his meetings becoming the landfill for a medical system that sells addictive drugs but can't or won't provide effective, affordable recovery therapy.

Thomas

[bmac]

everyone is right about the sex drive thing.I was taking methadone and it kills the sex drive.All opites do eventually.
That will come back to life(pun intended)When it does you'll
be saying(how do I put this)It won't go away if you understand me.My wife is like put that thing up please.LOL
Hang in there 15 out of 21 days is great.Almost there.Then you can start working on your relationship.I have been high ever since I met my wife in 1994.This is the first time since we met I have been straight.I found out just how much I love her
now that I don't have a crutch.She still isn't too happy about
my secret little abuse and it has made her question our marriage but if it can't with stand this then it wasn't right to begin
with.Just keep working on day 22.That's when the S*$# will hit the fan mentally.Hang tuff and don't worry about your 'friend',he will make it thru this too.(pun intended again)
                                 peace,
                                  bmac