i dont know what happened....

[strongbutscared]

but i just really wanted to give up in the last few minutes. i just posted about doing good n going on 72 hours and craving completely hit me. i dont know. maybe its because ive been up with my sick son since 2am. maybe im looking for that fake energy. thank god for this site. my husband just said hey, uvebeen up with the baby all night, go take a nice long nap. yeah, if i were normal i would. but no, im withdrawaling off of drugs. ugh!!!! i am soooooooooooooo frustrated right now. my body is just screaming at me to give it what it "needs". i hate this. so much. i sit here n reason with myself like well, the baby is sick, so maybe right now isnt the best time to not feel good. F**K that. i am not giving in. but i needed to come on here n scream.

[mariposa99]

You are a good mom! Don't ever forget that. SOunds to me like you are putting that baby first. From one to another. Its the hardest of days and nights up with a baby, even for a sober person. Give yourself that little bit of credit and self respect. Lots of moms forget what we have inside to offer a child, its immense. But we also have it inside to give to ourselves, cuz somethimes we need it.  

[strongbutscared]

ok....82 hours now. im honestly so delirious from my lack of sleep. i have a long night ahead of me with a sick baby but ill get thru. because thats what moms do! cant believe tomorrow is friday. wow, never thought id see 5 days pass by this week. symptoms: an obvious lack of sleep, just a malaise feeling but not too many body aches that arent tolerable. id say a 50% deecrease in the restless legs. im able to eat. sneezing is there but also decresing. yawning constantly but ah well. my biggest prooblem? my mind. but i feel like im doing well with it. what ha amazed me this far is that when i was using, when i would wake up in the morning, i would literally feel like life was ending until i popped a pill, the physical symtoms were HORRIBLE. and now that ive been wding, i cant think of a time during this process that ive felt that. mind over matter is truly amazing.

[shrimpman]

That's awesome!!  I can't imagine having to take care of a sick baby ---------i couldn't even take of my dog the way I  use to------I use to walk him 2 a day----The past couple of months I would just put in the back yard to go to the B-room----I was still using then but trying to taper--------so I really never felt good enough to do much work or anything else------tapering was taking to long so went c/t-------I've been worried about getting the flu on top of w/ds------That would really blow-------Did you get immunized ?  I hope so. You doing sooo great!---------

[strongbutscared]

when i come back & see replies, it guides me thru. so itruly thank u. i was able to take a nap with the baby for two hours. i woke up and my first thought was to take my pills. then reality set in! so then, i spent $ on something i shouldnt have at the pharmacy...a huge bag of peanut butter truffles!!! do i feeel sick now from eating them? sure do. oh well. today was the first time in as long as i can remember that i cashed my check & didnt need to have an excuse as to hy i didnt deposit it all. dont get me wrong, my husband isnt like that....but it always seemed as if i had to pay something that really didntexist. the temptation with the $ in my hands wa strong. but...i made it thru. thanks for listening to me. i am entering hour 80.

[desperatetostop]

I'm so sorry to hear about the h1n1 your baby has. Take care of YOU and take care of baby...

You're getting thru .. we're standing tall with you

[shrimpman]

Hang in there---I'm on day 7------Try to treat your symptoms and it should go a little easier-------The thomas recipe helped me greatly with the worst symptoms-----this is just my experience------not everyone agrees with the recipe but for me it made all the difference------2 yrs ago I did not prepare for W/ds-----could not get out of bed for three days except to run to the bathroom-----no food or liquid for 3 days----the 4th day I turned the corner-------this time I took care of myself and it was MUCH easier-------just my experience  ----everyone is different-----I am recommending nothing-----except to hang in there -------you should be enjoying life again soon--------we all know what your going through  ------Best regards, Shrimpman

[gnarly_1]

hey girlee hang in there...it no fun being up with a sick kid..im the father of 5 all but one is out of the house but I do remember what its like being up all night with a sick baby
just wanting to help them but unable to..just be a mom and look at the bright side
you probably would have been up all night in withdrawals so if nothing else it gave you something to do....he or she will get better they always do..as for you  do like I did
and use your symptoms to strengthen your resolve to quit...let nothing have this sort of control over you...your doing great so far ..your so close to the end you can start to taste it... just a little more time and as I have said to many...you just got to be "ok without being ok for a wile longer"trust that god will never give you more then you can bear and pray to him for a healing in your baby and the strength to keep going on for you...he does here prayers...good luck and god bless....Gnarly  

[freedom007]

yep, its Thursday and tomorrow, it will be next Thursday.  And we will get better...hell, WE ARE GETTING BETTER!!  Almost on 118 hours myself and, although I don't have much energy...the bad stuff is gone.  I have a Dr. Appt for my 18 month old...and it scares me...but I will get it done..and be much better for it.

This was always a big using moment for me...when some perceived anxious moment was coming.  ****...when dont I have those...ahahaha.

Anyway...keep kickin ***...we are all proud of you and everyone else here...

[strongbutscared]

its going. almost 75 hours. now. my 8 month old is very sick, diagnosed h1n1, so theres something for distraction huh? he is pretty sick right now, im half delirious from being up with him all night, but im getting thru. havent had any hard core cravings since the last one...just kind of an overall "this would go away so easily" feeling. but i will never give in and sure as hell wouldnt dare. im focusing on my job here at home & staying strong, well, i dont know about strong. but doing the right thing. wow...cant believe its thursday. seems like it was just yesterday even though it was sunday that i was fearing every moment of this.

[freedom007]

How's it going Strong?  Keep us posted.

[freedom007]

Fighting all the demons takes time!!  I am going through the same stuff, trust me.  Today is day 5, and I feel pretty good...but damn, the lack of energy and motivation is a killer.  But, force yourself to be active...and yes, LISTEN TO MUSIC...it is amazing how good it is for the soul.  You can do this!!

We r here...


Freeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[mendray]

Keep up the good work, you are great as it is, you are fighting and that's what matters, do not give up and your reward is ahead of you "FREEDOM" take care and God Bless.

[strongbutscared]

oh i dont have any in the house. when i made the decision to quit i flushed 30 of them. literally 150$ down the toilet! haha. ill make it thru! jay.....thank u.

[Jaybird30]

Hang in There my mind is doing it also just let it pass and ride the ups and downs!  Find something to do!!!

[WDsRawful]

if you have any in the house flush them... i don't know if you do but if so you gotta get rid of them or they will continue to call to you..  either way you're doing great!  you know we're within hours of each other and we're feeling good...  stay on track.

[strongbutscared]

i really eally really needed all of those quick replies. THANK U. im sittin on the computer since i cant sleep just listening to music. one line said if u ave to choose, i hope u choose the one that means the most to u. that gave me some inspiration. i DO have to choose. n im choosing my life. today is so so so so hard :(

[WannaBeFree79]

He he he Broken, I love that idea.  New Withdrawal Symptom~Mass amounts of pillow fluff laying around the house LOL.

Hang in there strong, I get the same way the 3rd day.  I can give you 500 different excuses for why today isn't my day to quit.  Thats the addict in us talking, we are very good at reasoning with ourselves.  You have come sooooooooo far.  Just think about your little one, there will be many more colds, flu's, and booboo's to come.  He wants his mommy around to comfort him through all of them :)

Your in my prayers :)

WannaBeFree79

[Brokenbutglued]

You're doing good, you're fighting your cravings and that is great!!! :) Keep hanging in there!! Grab a pillow, name it "Craving" and scream into it as loud as you can, shred it up, stomp on it and smile..you just literally beat "Craving". :D

You go girl!!!! :) *hugs*

[gizzy32]

Scream away. Swearing helps me too, lol. Your almost 3 days clean and that is awesome, but it's usually a tough day for most. Your so close to feeling better so hang in there and take it hour by hour if you have to right now. IT WILL GET BETTER. Have you tried the thomas recipe to help at all? Are you taking anything to help you sleep? Stay strong and keep posting, your doing great!

[dominosarah]

Scream away!!  Lack of sleep can weigh pretty heavy on our minds.  This craving will pass so keep talking and screaming.  You are doing great so keep it going and fight like mad.....You can do this.           sara

[freedom007]

Your mind will find a million reasons why this isn't the right time...but it is.  And you are doing great!!!

Keep it up...we are here for ya!!

[desperatetostop]

Good for you...coming on here and screaming instead of giving in to the monster!

keep going...you will get through this.

do you meditate? maybe you could just lay down and do some nice deep calming breathing instead of a nap...

you're going to be fine...stay strong! We're here with you