Aa
unreal...
christian finally decided to go to a meeting tonight...and i might add that i was sooo proud of him. he walked in...sat there for a few minutes...and some lady asked if there was anyone in there who didnt have a problem with alcohol. he, of course raised his hand because he is a meth addict. she asked him to leave.
he didnt know if it was AA or NA...just knew he wanted to go to a meeting.
hhhuuuuuummmmmmmmm
he was really bummed!
he didnt know if it was AA or NA...just knew he wanted to go to a meeting.
hhhuuuuuummmmmmmmm
he was really bummed!
Kim that is good news that he went. Like IB said that women needs reported or at the very least and explanaion given as to why he was told to leave. This son of yours is truly looking for help,he is crying out and to get shunned is horrible. Damn that makes me mad. I'm sure you'll talk to him and tell him that they are not all like that. Help him find another and keep encouraging him to try again. My prayers are with you and christian.
John
John
A few years ago i went to AA meeting and this was before i became and addict,,,When i was rehab they made us go to a NA meeting and i had nothing to give and got nothing out of it...Does that make sense...If was not My Doc , at the time,,,And now that i think back i can remember them talking about dope...Well where i live only pot is caled dope, so i was very confused..BUT maybe if i would of paid attention i would of never traded additions......
I think it is very sad , because he wantd to go...But i do know some meetings here or small groups and closed meetings..
I really do think he would benifit more from NA too..
i am so sorry for him, because if takes guts to go to them to begin with....
I so wish he had a compuer, because this forum is better then any meeting i have ever gone too....
Praying for you and your family
hang in there, u are one tough cookie, and have helped me see so much in the yr i have been here...Just know you have helped so many on the other side, and for someone not being an addict, u gave the kick in our butts just like we needed...
unfourntly , as parents our kids don't respomnd well to us...
I know mine don't, but i think him getting on here more will help so much..Almost all of these clean people on here , have always said it ws this forum...
hugs
r2r
I think it is very sad , because he wantd to go...But i do know some meetings here or small groups and closed meetings..
I really do think he would benifit more from NA too..
i am so sorry for him, because if takes guts to go to them to begin with....
I so wish he had a compuer, because this forum is better then any meeting i have ever gone too....
Praying for you and your family
hang in there, u are one tough cookie, and have helped me see so much in the yr i have been here...Just know you have helped so many on the other side, and for someone not being an addict, u gave the kick in our butts just like we needed...
unfourntly , as parents our kids don't respomnd well to us...
I know mine don't, but i think him getting on here more will help so much..Almost all of these clean people on here , have always said it ws this forum...
hugs
r2r
my mother did have surgery and everything went as planned. she has a pin in her ankle now and will be in a cast for 6 weeks. she is doing ok and is home from the hospital. i am having to stay with her...of course my brother and his wife are doing nothing...but my boys are helping me out. madison and amanda are staying with her at night.
he had no reason to just call me out of the blue and tell me this story. he does not report to me what he does and when he does it.
It was posted Feb 6th - "Valium is ok for sleep durring recovery?"
I wrote about the NA meeting I was asked to "Come back when I'm clean".....IF you read the post you'll see a lot of great things people here wrote.
In other word....I'd give your son the benefit of the doubt that he's being honest because, It just happened to me - yesterday!
I wrote about the NA meeting I was asked to "Come back when I'm clean".....IF you read the post you'll see a lot of great things people here wrote.
In other word....I'd give your son the benefit of the doubt that he's being honest because, It just happened to me - yesterday!
PLEASE LOOK AT MY POST FROM YESTERDAY -
"Valium is ok for sleep durring recovery?"
I was TOTALLY DEFLATED after I went to an NA meeting. The ladies pulled me aside after the workshop gave me theyre #'s & made it clear I was to use nothing - not even valium. It's an ugly story that brought on a little mess-up I'd rather not talk about.
OVERALL, jumping into these groups should be saved for a time someone is ready for a possible judgement cast on them.
Don't recommend going till there's been a strength built up because they can been very clicky from what I've seen.
"Valium is ok for sleep durring recovery?"
I was TOTALLY DEFLATED after I went to an NA meeting. The ladies pulled me aside after the workshop gave me theyre #'s & made it clear I was to use nothing - not even valium. It's an ugly story that brought on a little mess-up I'd rather not talk about.
OVERALL, jumping into these groups should be saved for a time someone is ready for a possible judgement cast on them.
Don't recommend going till there's been a strength built up because they can been very clicky from what I've seen.
This is horrible. This is twice this week N/A & A/A have pissed me off. I just think when someone is reaching out for help like that, it is just a sin to turn them away for any reason. I can only hope they did this with some compasion and did not make him feel like a leper. I so pray that if he try's again he will be welcomed with open arms. Mary
If she has any hope of makig it through this difficult time, she needs to be able to depend on a small amount of what he says to be truth, for her sanity alone.
It doesn't sound made up. I kow in my home group if it were a closed meeting that this very scenario could be possible....
It doesn't sound made up. I kow in my home group if it were a closed meeting that this very scenario could be possible....
Is there a possiblity even a small one that he just decided to bail on the meeting and made up an excuse? The only reason I ask is because you have mentioned in the past that he has been a huge liar to you and many others, and that you couldn't trust almost anything he told you.. Also addicts in general can be decieving as well. I am in no way trying to be negative or say this is what happened, but based on the past history you have posted about his addiction it was at least something that I thought you might consider..
I truly hope he is searching for real help for his addiction problem.. I will make sure to add him to my preyers! GOD BLESS
I truly hope he is searching for real help for his addiction problem.. I will make sure to add him to my preyers! GOD BLESS
Kim, if it was a closed AA meeting and he does not have a problem with alcohol, they can ask him to leave becaue it's supposed to be a safe haven for those who do have problems with alcohol.
They do allow anyone to sit in AA meetings, anyone.. but not closed ones. Closed ones are strictly for alocholics.
If he has a meeting list then he can see which ones are closed or not. It does really suck because he was finally reaching out and it seems as if his hand was slapped away like a bay touching a hot stove but try and tell him he musn't give up on it.
Maybe try NA or an open AA meeting?
AA is pretty by the book.... the Big Book that is. Although I agree that an addict is an addict, a lot of people are fanatical about AA and what it stands for which is essentially, alcoholics...........
Yes it's true that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking but if he doesn't have a problem with drinking and meth is his only addiction (although I don't get how you can be addicted to drugs and not alcohol in general) then he really doesn't belong in AA, he belongs in NA. He will have a better chance of hearig "his:" story there rather than in AA where people recount their downfalls from drinking. The chances of someone sticking around GREATLY improve IF and WHEN they hear "their" story told.
I'm sorry this happened. As usual, I continue to keep him (and you as well) in my prayers.
How is mom? Did she come through ok? Did you make it to the beach?
PS, You should let Christian know how great it truly was that he was so honest. It's a really fabulous first step towards sobriety. Even though it didn't turn out the way he had wnted it to, it still shows that he is able to be completely honest and then take whatever comes along with that honestly.
Kudos to him for that!
They do allow anyone to sit in AA meetings, anyone.. but not closed ones. Closed ones are strictly for alocholics.
If he has a meeting list then he can see which ones are closed or not. It does really suck because he was finally reaching out and it seems as if his hand was slapped away like a bay touching a hot stove but try and tell him he musn't give up on it.
Maybe try NA or an open AA meeting?
AA is pretty by the book.... the Big Book that is. Although I agree that an addict is an addict, a lot of people are fanatical about AA and what it stands for which is essentially, alcoholics...........
Yes it's true that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking but if he doesn't have a problem with drinking and meth is his only addiction (although I don't get how you can be addicted to drugs and not alcohol in general) then he really doesn't belong in AA, he belongs in NA. He will have a better chance of hearig "his:" story there rather than in AA where people recount their downfalls from drinking. The chances of someone sticking around GREATLY improve IF and WHEN they hear "their" story told.
I'm sorry this happened. As usual, I continue to keep him (and you as well) in my prayers.
How is mom? Did she come through ok? Did you make it to the beach?
PS, You should let Christian know how great it truly was that he was so honest. It's a really fabulous first step towards sobriety. Even though it didn't turn out the way he had wnted it to, it still shows that he is able to be completely honest and then take whatever comes along with that honestly.
Kudos to him for that!
I don't even know what to say except..that is so not the norm. That is ego speaking and she should be reported.
There is only one requirement for membership.....
Please hun, please tell him to pick himself up....
There is only one requirement for membership.....
Please hun, please tell him to pick himself up....
Kim Im so sorry that happened =(( I hope he finds a good support group somewhere , soon!
well that is good that he is willing to find another meeting. i know how hard this has been on you, but your son does want this, and he's is taking the right steps to get there now. just don't lose your faith in him please, my mom lost faith in me when i was messed up and it hurt so bad,but she had every right to. your a great mom.
An addict is an addict.....it really pisses me off that some alcoholics feel they are an exclusive and special group! HMMMMM!!!! Discriminating addicts!
I'm really glad that he is continuing to try and get himself some help....in his heart he knows he has to keep trying, as we all do!
Peace!
I'm really glad that he is continuing to try and get himself some help....in his heart he knows he has to keep trying, as we all do!
Peace!
he posted on here once or twice a long time ago. he doesn't have a computer though. he was disappointed BUT he is gonna find another meeting. i've already looked up NA online and found the list of meetings here in town...i just hope he is as enthused tomorrow night as he was tonight.
good idea, would he be willing to come on here kim? i truly have found this forum worked better for me then N/A, in fact i relapsed and quit going. everyone is different, but ask him to come on here, we would love to talk to him if he's comfortable.
dah. Probably too close to your concerns for him here. some things have to be seperate
Has he seen this forum yet? Maybe some encouragement would give him the courage to try another meeting somewhere else.
it took so much for him to go...and then this. this is NOT what he needed. his wife was working and he went by himself...which he didnt feel comfortable doing anyway...but he did it...and was then asked to leave. i feel so bad for him :(
There are some meetings like that, but most are not. In my area there is one group that is "strictly alcohol," but it's the only one -- I can go to several dozen meetings a week where a drug addict like me is far more than welcome. I just don't go to that one group . . .
It's worth noting that "having a problem with alcohol" is not, and never has been, a requirement for AA membership. The Third Tradition is pretty clear on this point: "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking."
I suggest that Christian not give up on AA because of something like this . . . it will happen at some groups, but it's not the norm.
CATUF
It's worth noting that "having a problem with alcohol" is not, and never has been, a requirement for AA membership. The Third Tradition is pretty clear on this point: "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking."
I suggest that Christian not give up on AA because of something like this . . . it will happen at some groups, but it's not the norm.
CATUF
that is terrible. i went to N/A meetings for 3 weeks and they welcomed alcoholics with open arms, and then some of them made me come to an AA meeting even though i never had a problem with drinking, i have heard some stories of people on here being pushed away and it makes me angry, no one in need should ever be pushed away
you should be proud of your son, it took a lot of balls for him to walk in then get shunned. can he find another group for meetings, that is bull ****.
you should be proud of your son, it took a lot of balls for him to walk in then get shunned. can he find another group for meetings, that is bull ****.
Sounds like AA. And a snooty one too. Let AA headquarters know. I don't think they are supposed to do that.
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