The body and mind of 49 days clean

[Crispy]

49 days clean, well I feel good. Dr. in my rehab place gave me some Clonidine for my high blood pressure and that helped for my anxiety in the morning, because after using so long the euphoria feeling didnt happen except for that morning pill (going 8hrs without a pill while sleeping i would imagine why). Some days are still mixed feelings the good days are good I feel like a new person with the usual ups and downs of life. The bad days are not as bad as they were, still get stomach issues and anxiety through out the day. But quickly go do something to keep my mind busy when i realize its a craving for pills and not just work or home stress. I find myself in my head latley, i analyze how i feel when feeling bad like "what brought this on" "is there anything i can do to relieve this situation". I still get a little nasueated but i eat 8 meals a day and its been 90+ degrees in FL as of late so lets chalk that up to the heat. I test myself everyday to see what my limits are, i slowly push myself to see how much excitment, or actual stress  i can handle. But quickly stop when I feel it becomes to much. I get natural feelings of well being now im happy to say by everyday things like a italian ice when its hot out, or watching a chick flick with the GF because you know itll make her happy. Playing with my dogs (inside of course cause its just to damn hot out :) ) If you would have told me 40 days ago that I would say I was happy, i woulda told you your F***ing crazy. My body still goes through a lot of emotions its recycling everything I did the past 2 years while using pills and helping me heal myself by dealing with the emotions i should have felt but didnt. I know ill never use again but i will always stay in recovery. This stuff has a tight grip but im strong enough to break it with the support of everyone here and the support of rehab grp members and NA members. Everyone just starting out i know u feel like pulling out your hair, and you just want your bones to jump out of your skin. But no matter how bad u feel now be comforted in me saying it will get better and those feelings will not last forever. If you can weather the storm everyone on this site can help you clean up the mess. Stay strong , ane believe you can do this. We were weaker then we thought we were when using, imagine how much stronger you can be sober.

[confused456]

puranx.......maybe you have a VERY STRONG mind!! I do think the way we think about things really have a lot to do with how we handle them but I do know that PAWS are real, you are one lucky person!!

[Brrrrad]

To: Crispy  Thats the plan -you da`man

[Crispy]

Just so u know you'll never pass me by in days :D

[Crispy]

You may not be a addict you might just be a abuser bro. Im glad you havent gone through anything that much of us do. I worked out day one since CT also but my stomach as always been really picky, so it doesnt stress me out to have stomach problems from time to time. But like i said i doubt you were chemically dependant yours was more just habitual. Any ways stay off pills and keep lifting cause ive been getting my weight back up so dont let me pass you by.

[Brrrrad]

Bro  I`m still here trailing you only by 1 day, Just wanted to check in w/ ya

[addictedme]

So how many days are you clean?

[welldigger]

I am sooo happy to read your post. I am 31 days I think. I am still very fatigue and sleeping alot. Still have stomach problems and get bad headaches. It's almost 100 degrees in NC. So I stay in. Your post has given me hope that in a week or two I'll feel even better. Keep up the good work. I'm so proud of you. You are an insperation to me.

[CR_ST_NA]

CONGRATS ON 49 DAYS. GOD BLESS ....................................."C"

[puranx]

man wtf...you guys make me feel like a mutant :(  After about day 25 I was literally 100% me, in the gym, stronger then ever, i lifted day one since c/t 120mg oc. I ate everyday since day 1   8 meals a day. I did everything i do now including my job which is high high level IT support.

I havent even remotely got close to taken a pill or even considering it, i get no paws what so ever. The anxiety was aweful but went away in 5 days. Im happy all the time now for the most part, i have endless stress thrown at me and it doesnt phase me.

Why does it seem this isnt the case for really any of you? I been HAMMERING pills since 1997 as well as other things on an off, so its not like i dont got time under my belt.  

I just wish there was something i could put my finger on and figure it out so i could give it to all of you and make it all go away. I hate hearing the relapse stories and the pain that people are going through and theres nothing i can do about it. I can give words to help but i wish there was something i could give from me so you could have it like I have, which by no means easy but alot easier then what you poor things are dealing with. I dont need BP meds, NA, nothing. I just c/t it and went back to life immediatley and dealt with it. Im no stronger then anyone here, anyone whos quit before for a length of time has that strength. I wish i could help them keep it. Breaks my heart(whats left of it) Hope you guys find the magic i did.

[confused456]

Kudos to you for pushing those boundaries but also knowing when to stop!! You are an asset to have here! Congratulations on your clean time!!

[desperate1111]

great post crispy.

[worried878]

U know i was still feeling fatigue at 49 days...bout it...the tummy issues and depression was gone....i came close to slipping up bad at 60 days tho...thought i was past all that by then...they say if u can make it 90 days there is a much greater chance of not relapsing.....thats the stats...u r close dude