day 3

[BearsFan1966]

Well its day 3 and doing pretty good! Thanking God I did not go threw the with drawls I did the first time! Feeling tired and sluggish but know that is just part of the healing! Just feeling defeated knowing I had almost a year under my belt! But I guess stuff happens in life that we have no control over....time to move on and restart my life again. The pain in my back is pretty intense but when my addictive behavior started to creep back I knew I needed to stop the pain pills. I can deal with the pain to be clean again!  
Trying to be strong and I have a lot of support from my family. My husband seems to be on board with my decision
to stop and take control back. I hope he continues to support me....
Positive attitude equals positive life!

[BearsFan1966]

I wish you the best of luck...I talked to my husband and he said I am over thinking this! Maybe I am not sure need a clean head! lol

[lulu747]

Wow girl you are doing great!!
It gives me hope.  I am completely with IBK here.  There is NO WAY this is a relapse.  Taking pain meds as prescribed for serious legit pain is something that happens in an addict's life sometimes.  Just the way that you've dealt with this all shows you are still walking the path to recovery.
Listen, I'm going through an acute pain/medical crisis that requires surgery in October and I've had NO choice but to take pain meds to have any quality of life whatseoever.  I have nearly 3 years in recovery and I am certainly not counting this as a relapse.
I will do a rapid taper post op.  I know it won't be easy but I've been through a lot worse and know I can do it.
Thank you for inspiring me!!
xo
Lu

[BearsFan1966]

thank you spider! I think towards the end I was starting back thats why I stopped but sure wish I felt like I did before! This *****!!!

[spider6]

Shout out Bear!  It's a head f*ck to be sure....but IMO you didn't relapse ......there wasn't any pleasure given from taking your meds......strictly pain management......continue your clean time chicky.   Hugs

[61chevy]

Great job on turning around irregardless of the clean count time.   This thing can get away from us so quickly.   Turn around n there u r again.   BIG shout out to YOU for recognizing the signs n dealing with it NOW.   GREAT JOB.

BTW.... Go Chargers
: )

[IBKleen]

So you didn't abuse them? Took them as prescribed? If you say yes to those two questions then it is not a relapse and can keep your clean time. I have taken pain medication while clean but it was for a short time and my hubby held them so I wasn't abusing. I didn't relapse. I hate to think that you think that you lost your clean. Boy that was a strange sentence..lol Honey, bottom line...it's your choice. You know if you abused them or not.

[BearsFan1966]

I guess I just feel better starting over because I did have to take them. Maybe because I am feeling some of the with drawls??

[VICourageous]

Hi Bear..Indeed it was not a relapse to me because you did not use them for any other reason then what they where for.
I am so glad you did nip it before it did kick in and get out of control..You know this awful Disease that messes with the Brain Chems and so on.
Just glad to see that you are still around.
Be Safe, Be Good and be Grateful for what you do have for today. lol

Bless

[IBKleen]

Sorry hun, I didn't know that you had an accident. I sure hope you get well real soon. But why are you saying this is day #? If you took the pills as prescribed and did not abuse them then you didn't lose any of your clean time.

[BearsFan1966]

It was not a relapse per say I fell off my horse and fractured my spine in 3 places and my pelvis in 2 places. I was in the hospital for 7 days. They said it should take about 6-9 months to heal...

[IBKleen]

Go to see you hanging in there. You should ask your doctor about alternative treatments for your back. Steroid shots come to mind as well as acupuncture Since you are coming off of a relapse, what do you think you will do different this time?.