started using again..now im on 3 days clean

[avik7]

So when I first came on here i was using opiates for years. and wanted to stop, bc i thought i was pregnant. and i did and i wasnt pregnant. i stayed clean for 2 months. during those two months i got pregnant and then i miscarried on september 5...i started to use again but not much..found out i was pregnant again, so stopped w no problem. but had another miscarriage in november. and started using agian. ive just been so depressed and it seems like using is just making it worse. so me and my husband have both been clean for 3 days today. i really want to stop, bc im so ready to have a family. i just really need your support so i can stop this demon once and for all. HELP!

[gizzy32]

Welcome back! Don't beat yourself up, you had 2 months clean time before and you will smash that this time. Your first priority right now is to STAY of the pills and all the rest will follow. Set up some kind of plan on what you need to do to stay off these lil demons and keep getting support after your clean, it's so important. Hang in there and keep fighting. We are here for you.

[avik7]

i know..that actually is something i didnt mention.. i started praying and going to church after the first miscarriage, and it was amazing bc i was never a believer before then....it was just too much after the 2ns one...i mean i still pray almost everyday but stopped going to church

[Beth105]

Prayer is really powerful and talking to the Lord, never forget when you feel the most alone  God is there for you!     Beth

[worried878]

yes..most of us do know..few make it on the first go around..staying busy will help..have u tried the amino acids, exercise, aftercare or any type of support?  these things help so so so much...aftercare is the key...the health pages are full of great info..keep posting as there is lots of support here...off to work..i am a nurse as well(:

[avik7]

i def wanna be clean either way. and things have been super tough. its like the only thing missing in our lives is a child, and these miscarriages are really really hard for me esp when everyone i know is pregnant. One of our friends just got his home invaded and was almost beat to death bc of drugs. they left him for dead and almost didnt make it through icu. that has opened our eyes more. and plus im about to start working a norm  9 to 5 job as a nurse in an ob office so thats another thing that will make it easier. i just wanna stop..im so scared bc the other 2 times we quit we felt this same way and started using again. we arent really having any physical withdrawls..its just mental..we weened ourselves down pretty good. lack off sleep here and there and some leg pain but thats it....its just on our minds, but the weird thing is neither of us really want it. another hard thing is i know someone that gets 180 lortabs every 2 weeks and we get them for free from them, its gonna be hard to know they are there and not take any, ya know?

[worried878]

sounds like u have had a hard time of things..dont beat urself up...get urself back on track...the forum is always here to help...u want to be clean..baby or no baby on the way as it is the happier way to be...3 days is well on the way to cleandom..what can u 2 do different this time to make things stick?