thanks guys.....if it wasnt for all of you i dont know if i would be where i am today.....its awesome hearing how other people deal with this nightmare.....the things ive learned from all of you have really saved me from going back
shadow what you said really struck a nerve.....i have sober friends but a lot of the people i am friends with still use...or are "trying" to stop and keep relapsing....i am seriously considering moving away from here.....right now i think it might be the best thing for me....i live in ny outside the city i got a brother up in rochester....im thinking a change to a laid back pressure/stress free life would do wonders for me....even if its just for 6 months to a year....i dont have much here anyway.
ive only been there once....but now that im getting my new car this week =) i plan on taking a road trip this weekend or next...cant wait to get the f out of here for a lil.
i guess my main problem is being bored.....i just dont know how to have fun any more with out them.....another thing is when everyday problems occur i cant seem to handle them like i used to....i overwhelm myself and worry about the problem instead of the solution....i lot of the times i need to step back and remind myself that its normal after what i went through....i just had know idea it would be so long.
and your right i need to stop beating myself up for what i did...it happened and i cant change it.....i never thought of it from the other standpoint of going back to the good....it just ***** cuz i know i messed a lot of things up...i try to stay positive and tell myself its not to late and i still have a full life ahead of me
My bf has had an on again/off again love affair with oxy, and i made him check into a methadone clinic and he told me it was the best thing he ever did for himself. I am 13 years clean off heroin, so it can be done. I went on methadone, I didn't have withdrawals (some don't), but I know some do. I had to throw away my friends, move to a new place without memories, and throw out CDs and movies I would listen to while using. I also had to forgive myself, put it into perspective, and give myself no excuse (wtf, i did it before ... or, I'm a loser anyway) to do them again. The past is the past. You mentally need to get with that. You can't relive the good, either, so why beat yourself up over the past. When the cravings come, remind yourself that nothing is as good as the first time you do it and within a week you won't be high and will just be another junkie.
That same warm feeling you can get off of other stuff that won't kill you, hurt your family, and destroy your life. If you've gone over a month...you can do it. I know because I did.
And now...I can watch Trainspotting, Requiem...whatever and I don't have a single urge.
Be cool and God bless.
good for you... so proud of you for standing firm.
Your really have shown many in here what can be done Jayeye!,,John:), I know this has been one of the hardest things you've ever been faced with....Its hard to believe its been 2 months since you finally said "enough is enough!".That is fantastic.. Hows your bottom dollar "girl" doing btw?(big ,big smiles!) Say hi for me:)..If I was into music some, I'd probably try to figure out how to write a song about her (chuckle:).
I remember her making a comment one day thanking all of us that had inspired you to finally get proactive and make the choice to end the nightmare you had going on at the time. She was so sweet with her kind comments all the way around....And the way she kinda poked fun at herself about your nickname for her was heartwarming. Her words radiated right thru to me making me think that you were a real lucky guy to have someone to help out with a heart as big as hers..She was there when you needed her the most without hesitation..Now thats the kind of friend everyone wishes they had at times..
You really have done well. So very happy you were able to push that craving aside..Real real happy for you :) David
ps: dropped you a pm btw..A little update..
When I get bad cravings I think to how my life was before pills. How it was so much better. For me more money and I did more with my kids. That helps me to get mad at the addiction/craving and not give into it. Already with 14 days I am having more money etc which is good cause like previous poster I have 36000 in student loans as well and cant find a job in my field but I must still pay the loans off and buying pills or using wont help me to accomplish my goal of that or any other goal for that fact.
janet
Jayeye,
The cravings are feelings. Doesn't mean we rush to feed them. Who's driving? You or the cravings??? Anyway, I'm at 65 Days and STILL get them often.... Like when I want to escape, or don't have energy, or am happy, or am sad. The voice of cravings is recognizable. I try to listen to it. What is the voice saying? What is the tone? Urgent? Impulsive? Does it say things that sound like a spoiled three year old. (Mine usually says something like, "This blows @$$, you better take a pill....") Recognize the voice of your addiction. It is not YOU. It is your addiction.
Choose the New Normal. ~Lindsay
hey jayeye ..Im so happy you dident use...CUDOS for getting threw it....this is why we tell everyone that aftercare is so critical it will give you the tools and teach you the skills and coping mechanisms to get threw the cravings ...what you did last night was good you posted
its always good to talk it out...if your pluged into N/A you might of had a phone # of someone to call we have to learn to reach out when stuff like this happens ...know your enemy
anyway im glad you got past it put some stuff in place for next time and like Sarah sase
never let your guard down...where all proud of you good luck and God bless....Gnarly
Way to go on getting thru that craving!! I am almost 870 days clean and i get cravings here and there but thanks to my aftercare i know what i need to do to get thru them. The cravings have gotten a ton better but i never let my guard down as this addiction is sly and cunning. Hang in there, you are doing great!! sara
hi guys,
i got past it.....after i posted i got in my car and took a nice long ride.....was feeling a little better than b4 i went but not great......logged back on and read all your post.....didnt real feel up to responding sorry for that .....but i dd read everything you guess said and it really got the last of it out fo me for the night.
i didnt feel get cravings like that b4 but they werent ever as bad as yesterday.....i had a moment of weakness....but i got thru it thanks to all for responding and sorry i didnt post last night....i really no its not worth it......it just ***** that its been this long and im still going thru days like that....just gets old quick.
how long have you guys been off.....are the cravings still there??? has the bad days passed?? how long does it really take
I am not an addict but when I am in a tunnel vision mood about ah's pills I have used the comedy channel to get my mind off of it and my mood up. Thought I would just toss that out there in case it might help.
Please dont give up on your clean time now... think of the cravings as a little demon disguised as beauty and good talking to you and trying to seduce you... if you cant just ignore it you have to drown it out so you cant hear it.
I hope you come back on and let us know how you are today. Cravings are tough, but they do pass. Your hanging out with friends that use? That is one of my biggest triggers, I am pretty sure I could not stay clean being around others that use. People, places, things. Hope your ok and didn't use.
Jayeye, i remember you well... how are you doing now with the cravings ? Are you still having them ? sometimes our cravings are scary but don't let them say to you that they can be stronger than you... you have been fighting them for 2 months, you can fight them... follow what the others have advised you to do... stay busy, go for meetings,....
2 months is AWESOME! And you will get through this. Stay busy, get outside, get yourself to the gym, and be proud for what you are accomplishing without your crutch. Remember, be good to yourself today friend :)
HI.....we all get days like this......the trick is to get your mind bizzy on something else anything to get your mind off the craving....they usually only last a 1/2 hr or less if you dont start to obsess on them...it sounds like you may be at that point....I agree with the others here I oftem will sit back and get lost in some music...I made a cd just for times like this
going to a meeting would be a great help if your not going already start...just hang in there
you will feel better tomorrow cravings are only temporary ...you did the right thing by posting mabe spend some time reading the post to refresh you memory about withdrawals
you always have to paint an ugly picture of what addiction is and use that as your reference when you want to use....I find praying helps...lean on God when you dont have the strength yourself...good luck and God bless......Gnarly
Are you feeling better now?
I hear you loud and clear Becca, minus the student loan.........sara
Congrats on having a job I've been looking and can't find one ( criminal history) also great job going to school that really leads to a better future unlike drug abuse. I owe 36.000 bucks in student loans more than half of which is fines and penalties. Hindsight stings sometimes. Don't do anything that will mess up your plans for a better tomorrow. What is a car anyway I've heard people speak of them. Huh?! Becca
Yup! My cure for what ails ya!
Take B12, eat chocolate, distract yourself, get to a meeting, call someone, have some caffeine......anything but a pill! You will be totally sick if you do! : (
John~ Talk to me...PM me...PUSH yourself sweetie! Trust me,you'll feel like $hit and hate yourself if you take anything. I know you will...
Get your a$$ back here and keep posting!!
Man two months clean is a lot to throw away. I am at 20 days and still dealing with the mental issue/motivation issues. The cravings are not that bad and would give my right arm to almost be done with the mentals. Forget about that craving and be happy you are not back at day 20!
Get to an NA or AA meetin ASAP! Sounds like you need it!