is there anyone out there?

Question

hey i posted last nite but i only got one reply.  I am addicted to oxys bad I take 100-120mg per day and I cant stop i have tried everything from tapering to suboxene to cold turkey.  I really feel like life isnt worth living anymore i have lost everyone in my life that meant anything and im all alone my husband is so far gone that i dont even have him anymore.  I really wake up feeling that if i could just not be here anymore it would be better off.  Can someone please help me?

chanandalerbong1 · Answer

hun- i, not so very long ago, tried to end my life. luckily, i couldnt even get that right. i too am a recovering oxy addict. i felt alone, hopeless- so sick and tired of living a life  in complete terror and i had no quality of life what so ever. being in a place that is THAT dark andlow- we have blinders on. we do have those who love and care for what happens to us. you may not know it because of the battle your mind and body are going through right now. this will take time- there is no RIGHT way to get clean, but there is something to say for starting somewhere. the slow taper is a great idea. even if you start just taperig by a quarter of a pill every month. get a razor. cut the pill in four. yes this will take longer but you have to do what will work for you! thats whats important. that you get yourself clean by any means. this is a fight for your life.and you have to make yourself up to it. dont let a pill the size of a tic tac take your entire life! one suggestion i will make is try making a vision board. it can be any size cork board. put up pictures and quotes of things you want to achieve or something you want to do once clean. write notes to yourself and each month you successfully cut down your dose, reward yourself by doing something you enjoy (not drug related of course). and if you dont mind me asking, what happened with your husband? is he an addict too? maybe you both could use some therapy, seperate and together. pm me if you need anything. good luck to you and keep your spirit high.... you can beat this. it wont be easy, it will be the most difficult thing you have ever done, but once you come over that hill its a down hill ride and it feels amazing to look at the world in a completely new and refreshing way. you will be in my thoughts and if you feel you are in a dangerous place, mentally, and you think you want to harm yourself please call a help line or reach out to the na hotline- go to a meeting. anything. i promise you that you life is very much worth living...

*Kristen*

alwayswithme · Answer

Hi ,one day there was this young good looking guy lets say he was about 31 yrs old great job good looking girlfriends real pretty excellent masonary for a great local making over 35 hr ,loved to make his own music all of a sudden he gets hurt at work gets a large law suit due to 3 back surgerys well thats when it began here he is now on oxxys than now he is hooked if he cant get them he would go to what ever he could to get high,its very sad but the sad thing is to this story is he didnt think he a had a problem ,and when you feel that you dont you will not get help you have to want to get it for your self or it wont work,well I hope this helps you this young man is my best friend in the world who happens to be my only brother who i love very much now i wish i could tell him that in person but i cant because he is no  longer  with me he has passed on . he died july 11th  of oxys. he died in his sleep he died at 32 yrs old so now when i want to talk to him its just out loud .do me a favor my brother was everything to me i was and still am his big sister, i would do anything to see him.but i cant i just have to learn and try my hardest is to except my brothers passing.,you know what you can do is 1. you have to want to stop for yourself you come first I know its hard any addiction is very hard  i smoked for 20 yrs i quit its been a year that was a nightmare but i did it .there are so many people that were born with side effects or diseases or cant ever walk and you have to be strong and get off these pills i know alot of people that went into detox look at it this way the only thing that you are doing is hurting yourself. damaging all your inside just remember any medication you to take  to much your body starts to shut down. please get help for you and your family and good friends trust me im sure you dont want to hurt your family like my brother did to us it is a bad feeling it never goes away i think about him every min of the day.i know you cant just stop them you have to speek to some one about what to go on to slowly get off ,this is death medication that took my brother. listen if you ever need to talk im here ok, my opion is i think you should go to a rehab and be around doctors that can slowly ween you off you cant do it by your self you can have seizues , or coma stroke or heartattack please get the right help dont let what happened to my brother happen to you and put your loved ones through what im going through i lost a great warming brother ,my brother when he left to go to the other side he left as a brother , son, uncle. like i said if you need to talk at anytime ill be here for you ill be looking for you ok if you have any questions about anything just ask ok talk to real soon ok Alwayswithme.

worried878 · Answer

I am sorry but even the forum goes down and sleeps at times..often u will find posters here at the late hours as wee have people from all over the world posting here...it is a truly wonderful place to be

one thing/why u feel so bad in the morning is because u r in mild wd every morning...if u sleep 8 hours a night and u use every 4 hours or so during the day//then u would be in an early wd mode every am..that is why u feel so bad in the morning...so getting right out of the bed can help

a taper is hard unless u hand over ur pills...many addicts have trouble tapering..at ur dose u could go either way...i would not try sub unless everything fails//and if u do remember less is better...short is better than longer on the sub...

it will take a bit of clean time to get rid of that doomy morning feeling..keep posting

minim · Answer

were u taking the oxys recreational or by script? what happened when taking the suboxone??- 
You are not alone- we have all had these same thoughts- you have options. going to NA meetings is a good start.... good luck...

broknbck · Answer

well i have taken the oxys before and they are pretty strong and you build up resistance to them much faster than vicodins.and it seemed like they only last for a couple of hours. also my doctor told me that switching around sometimes gives you more results when you take them.
so what i am getting at is i got off vicodins after 4 years. and i think it is easier than oxys.
could you get your script changed to those and then try a tapper again? with vicodins instead?

gizzy32 · Answer

I am sorry you feel this way, but I have been there too. Although we abused different drugs, my life fell apart and for awhile it felt completely hopeless and thought of living without dope scared the hell out of me, i had made such a mess of things. If you are truly ready to do this and take your life back, i suggest finding some help. I tried and tried to do this alone, only to fail agian and again. There are options available so come up with a plan because it will be one of the toughest things you will ever do at first, but the reward is a much better life with a clear mind and no more guilt. All we can do is offer you advice and support, you are the one that will have to do the work. 

Life is amazing clean and it's worth the fight to be free. What is the longest you have been able to stay off the pills?

Fen871 · Answer

Hi I'm sorry that you are going through such a hard time. If you could tappering just by a half every month that would be a good start. then another half next month that would be one pill down and two months. then keep cutting and you will get there. do some walking just if is around the block. write down what you are feeling on paper in keep it as a look back journal. I was at 20 pills of fiorcet a day then cut to 8 pills a day it was very hard then I would cut by half every month. Now I'm down to 0 pills a day. You can do this have faith. I know you can do this stay strong.

TrayCee · Answer

The response to your frist post was excellent.  Did you really read it?  ONLY YOU CAN DO THIS,  But it can be done.  Its HARD HARD  work and you have to want it more than anything else in the world or it wont work.  Have you looked into antidepressants, atleast while going through withdrawals?   

Good Luck!!!