Aa
kicked my son out on the street
I'm new here. I am going through tough times with my 23 yr old son. He was jobless and took him in. He is addicted to oxy, percs and pretty much any type of pill. Did not know this. He has good days where not sure he is taking anything as he will never admit to it. Then days on end where he is high and abusive to me. Then the days on end when he sleeps for 4 or 5 days straight, detoxing I guess. I have talked to drug counsellors to understand these drugs better. I have done everything I can to help him but he wont even admit to his habit let alone help himself. I find pills everywhere and worry about my granddaughter finding them. Last nite did me in when I found out he had stolen from a friend, obviously to get money for more pills. I hate myself, it hurts so much to shut the door on him but I cant live like this anymore and am probably responsible for enabling by giving him a bed and food. It doesnt help that I have already lost a child and am always waiting for the call that he has overdosed again. Has anyone else been through this? Not sure this is where to post this but need to understand what is happening with him and these drugs. I have to be strong because I know the phone calls and his tears to come home will start but cannot trust anything he says anymore. Any advice would be very welcome.
hi these is my first time ever writing to anyone. My son is 22 my family has gone through so much. I paid fines lawyers bailed him out many times I even bought him a place to live thinking he was clean because i was paying one hundred dollars a week for him at the clinic and he was still using drugs. when i found ou t i through him out and brought him home. In three weeks he robed us of money and jewelry i even caught a drug dealer at my house So i had no choice but to through him out of my house. I dident sleep for three days on the fourth day he asked for something to eat and I told him I take him to a rehab he agreed and did good for a month i was sending him cig and twenty dollars a week. He called and told me he got a weekend pass and could come home. stupid me picked him up twice. this pass weekend i got him on Friday and by friday night i thought he was high of course he denied it but I knew. So today I call the rehab and found out he got kicked out for using after being there a month and would have to start over. So instead he decided to just live at the homeless shelter and lie to us saying he gets to come home ever weekend. I talked to him after calling and finding out everything for the last two weeks has been a lie. I told him i wouldn't send him anymore money or cig and not to call me until he gets back into the rehab program. I feel like he's killing me I love him so much but I can not help him until he helps him self. I cant be-leave the length he will go to two do his drugs The help is right there, why do i feel like the worst mother in the world. Please help me to know I did the right thing what if he dosnt get the help and never calls can i live with that.
I so feel for you and I hear your love. I moved back in with my parents a year ago because I was ending a toxic relationship and it looked like they really could use my help. They are nearing 80 and still live in the large family home, have a vacation house, etc. I get the plus of not being alone.
That was fine until my addiction got so bad that I began taking a little cash here and there then got caught. I quit once before and came clean, but I have hidden the fact that I have fallen off the wagon. I have lied, just like one of the younger posters said, to keep from hurting my folks. I have been very creative. Until my mother confronted me about missing funds and asked flat out if it was drugs. I make too much money at work to be having any financial issues living with them with no expenses.
I'm not where your son is, and I thank God for that, but I cannot excuse the fact that I have stolen from my parents when they have been so good to me. My mother told me to quit or get out. I am quitting. I've been feeling guilty but wondering about them seeing me in detox AND not wanting to deal with it yet again. This will be the second time for me. But I want to encourage you to continue to do just what you are doing. In the long run it will be best for everyone.
There are many parents on this forum and though they might not check in as often, they do, and you will hear from them. Everyone has a limit to what they can take. You have reached yours. That is a good thing for all concerned. -Randy
That was fine until my addiction got so bad that I began taking a little cash here and there then got caught. I quit once before and came clean, but I have hidden the fact that I have fallen off the wagon. I have lied, just like one of the younger posters said, to keep from hurting my folks. I have been very creative. Until my mother confronted me about missing funds and asked flat out if it was drugs. I make too much money at work to be having any financial issues living with them with no expenses.
I'm not where your son is, and I thank God for that, but I cannot excuse the fact that I have stolen from my parents when they have been so good to me. My mother told me to quit or get out. I am quitting. I've been feeling guilty but wondering about them seeing me in detox AND not wanting to deal with it yet again. This will be the second time for me. But I want to encourage you to continue to do just what you are doing. In the long run it will be best for everyone.
There are many parents on this forum and though they might not check in as often, they do, and you will hear from them. Everyone has a limit to what they can take. You have reached yours. That is a good thing for all concerned. -Randy
I couldn't read all the comments but i read the first page which is a lot considering i was just checking to see if a comment was lyrics to a song on a persons facebook comment lol. I'm adding this because my post got way longer then i wanted!!!!! WAY LONGER!!! Now i don't know how it feels to be a mother in this situation or will ever figure out what separates a drug addict to a recreational user that only does it once and a while but i can tell you that in my own personal experience that i do stuff now and then with friends but that's not the point or the objective of this post. i just wanted to tell you my story which might put your doubts on the choice you made to ease. So it starts when i went to the army because my family wanted me to( you know the whole family tradition, father had been to war 5 time yada yada yada) thought it would be fun to see the world and i did indeed, but also was exposed to more recreational drugs then before. ALOT of soldiers do all kinds of drugs both over seas and in the states (their not bad people by any means but being in the position they are in i understood the appeal and did at times do **** along side them) some got addicted some didn't.
either way i come home from what my family wanted me to do and what i ended up loving to do! But wait low and behold I'm not welcomed with open arms I'm instead not aloud to stay with my parents lol. mind you I'm getting out of the army with almost no money because of lack of planning and thoughts that i would go to college.. needless to say i didn't have an addiction problem like your son has and yet my parents still did the OLD "life's tough get a helmet bit." For a while I scrounged my way threw and went to college. I can honestly a stronger person then i was before even after serving in the army for 3 years. That surprised me to say the least... there's nothing like being homeless to give you perspective of how bad life can really be instead of what you think as you walk or drive by them.
With that oddly long back round information to fill in blanks i would like you to know i never grew up well off so i know from a poor to middle class family that pills are not cheap by any means and i mean any means... i cant speak for your family but in my extensive experience both in the service and outside of it on my own time i found that most NOT all and i stress NOT all because sometimes there are outside factors that allow for the cheap acess to pills that allow people that normally cant afford them to be able to. BUT most that have pill addictions start well they have plenty of spare money, maybe a friend that supply's for cheap to start then jacks the price up when they are hooked which usually ends in stealing to support the addiction, which could be your case. All i know is well in high school i remember people doing pills more then almost every other drug and even working a job 30 hours a week at 15 years old i couldn't ever of imagined buying the pills they were offering and i didn't have anything to spend my money on lol... i honestly don't know too many people that are addicted to pills with out a bit of money to support it from the start, its not the poor or middle class addiction honestly. were i live its one of the most expensive addictions out there lol. ie:1 vicodin cost any were from 4 to 8 dollars so a 50 bag of Cocaine would do more for you and last way longer then the 10 pills that an addict would eat in 20 min lol. pill popping usually starts in high school well they have no expenditures and a flow of money from possible a job? all guess work on my end but honestly at 23 a true taste of the real world is needed and seriously I'm not sorry to say this at all because i swear by it! tough love is the best love whether they hate you for it or not...If what you said is true you needed to throw him out and at least show him that your not going to sit around and support his addiction well he does nothing!
I would like to now apologize for my insane rant! i got TOTALLY carried away but i thought it was important info instead of just writing a post like most people saying "yea throw that bum on the street" lol. You just have to say at a certain point that enough is enough and throw out that bull crap about oh "its my baby and ill take care of you no matter what"even though your spending all your minimal amount of cash on drugs. instead you need to Put on the I'm dead serious face and tell him right to his face "i love you but your not welcome in this house unless its just to visit to say hi." tough love hurts for both people involved but it makes you either learn from your mistakes and correct them OR they continue down the same path with out your help though.... At the end of it you can say that you didn't stand by and blindly help support his terrible choices because you couldn't make a serious stand against them......
Well that's it for my comments this YEAR! just wasted a half hour writing that and making sure i didn't sound like a total moron i hope lol. I never write anything to people so be nice i just felt like venting! lol. Well i wont be on this site probably ever again, was a fluke in the first place but good luck in the future with him and i know there are probably gonna be a few ***** that actually read the whole thing and say some stupid **** so yea you can go shove it right now before you get the chance to post a dumb comment.................
either way i come home from what my family wanted me to do and what i ended up loving to do! But wait low and behold I'm not welcomed with open arms I'm instead not aloud to stay with my parents lol. mind you I'm getting out of the army with almost no money because of lack of planning and thoughts that i would go to college.. needless to say i didn't have an addiction problem like your son has and yet my parents still did the OLD "life's tough get a helmet bit." For a while I scrounged my way threw and went to college. I can honestly a stronger person then i was before even after serving in the army for 3 years. That surprised me to say the least... there's nothing like being homeless to give you perspective of how bad life can really be instead of what you think as you walk or drive by them.
With that oddly long back round information to fill in blanks i would like you to know i never grew up well off so i know from a poor to middle class family that pills are not cheap by any means and i mean any means... i cant speak for your family but in my extensive experience both in the service and outside of it on my own time i found that most NOT all and i stress NOT all because sometimes there are outside factors that allow for the cheap acess to pills that allow people that normally cant afford them to be able to. BUT most that have pill addictions start well they have plenty of spare money, maybe a friend that supply's for cheap to start then jacks the price up when they are hooked which usually ends in stealing to support the addiction, which could be your case. All i know is well in high school i remember people doing pills more then almost every other drug and even working a job 30 hours a week at 15 years old i couldn't ever of imagined buying the pills they were offering and i didn't have anything to spend my money on lol... i honestly don't know too many people that are addicted to pills with out a bit of money to support it from the start, its not the poor or middle class addiction honestly. were i live its one of the most expensive addictions out there lol. ie:1 vicodin cost any were from 4 to 8 dollars so a 50 bag of Cocaine would do more for you and last way longer then the 10 pills that an addict would eat in 20 min lol. pill popping usually starts in high school well they have no expenditures and a flow of money from possible a job? all guess work on my end but honestly at 23 a true taste of the real world is needed and seriously I'm not sorry to say this at all because i swear by it! tough love is the best love whether they hate you for it or not...If what you said is true you needed to throw him out and at least show him that your not going to sit around and support his addiction well he does nothing!
I would like to now apologize for my insane rant! i got TOTALLY carried away but i thought it was important info instead of just writing a post like most people saying "yea throw that bum on the street" lol. You just have to say at a certain point that enough is enough and throw out that bull crap about oh "its my baby and ill take care of you no matter what"even though your spending all your minimal amount of cash on drugs. instead you need to Put on the I'm dead serious face and tell him right to his face "i love you but your not welcome in this house unless its just to visit to say hi." tough love hurts for both people involved but it makes you either learn from your mistakes and correct them OR they continue down the same path with out your help though.... At the end of it you can say that you didn't stand by and blindly help support his terrible choices because you couldn't make a serious stand against them......
Well that's it for my comments this YEAR! just wasted a half hour writing that and making sure i didn't sound like a total moron i hope lol. I never write anything to people so be nice i just felt like venting! lol. Well i wont be on this site probably ever again, was a fluke in the first place but good luck in the future with him and i know there are probably gonna be a few ***** that actually read the whole thing and say some stupid **** so yea you can go shove it right now before you get the chance to post a dumb comment.................
My 18 year old daughter is on Herion. She overdosed 6 months ago on methadone and is still using Herion. She avoids me and is hard to track down. She had no clothes or personal belongings with her. When I do see her is looks worse each time. I let her home for 3 days to detox but when she refused treatment I told her she had to go. I text her daily wishing her the best and tell her how much I love her. She feels bad about her choices but has still not gotten help. Everyone says to tough love it out but it is a living hell. I hate going to bed, the nightmares are almost as bad as the reality of it all.
I also have a 17 yr old, her sister who's going down the same road. It seems so many of their friends are addicts, kids that all grew up together. Very sad.
I also have a 17 yr old, her sister who's going down the same road. It seems so many of their friends are addicts, kids that all grew up together. Very sad.
My 18 year old daughter is on Herion. She overdosed 6 months ago on methadone and is still using Herion. She avoids me and is hard to track down. She had no clothes or personal belongings with her. When I do see her is looks worse each time. I let her home for 3 days to detox but when she refused treatment I told her she had to go. I text her daily wishing her the best and tell her how much I love her. She feels bad about her choices but has still not gotten help. Everyone says to tough love it out but it is a living hell. I hate going to bed, the nightmares are almost as bad as the reality of it all.
I also have a 17 yr old, her sister who's going down the same road. It seems so many of their friends are addicts, kids that all grew up together. Very sad.
I also have a 17 yr old, her sister who's going down the same road. It seems so many of their friends are addicts, kids that all grew up together. Very sad.
I am curious after a couple years have gone by since your original post, how did things turn out?
I am a mother of a 29 year old addict that after 3 months living in my house I had to kick him out yesterday. Today I am sticking to my guns and not giving in to his threats. But it is killing me. He has been doing every drug imaginable for at least 4 years. He is a truck driver and passed out at the wheel a week ago with my 4 yr old grandson with him and rolled a fully loaded semi! Thank god they were ok. But now that he is not working he has more time for drugs! If that was not a wake up call I don't know what is. His cousin that went through rehab has arranged for a 3 month scholarship to a great rehab, all he has to do is call him. He won't even do that. So my opinion is he is just not "ready" to go. And I can't make him. He has lost everything. His wife is divorcing him, he doesn't get to see his kids anymore, he has no job, and all he does is more drugs! He gets very verbally abusive with me and tries to blame me and his wife for not doing anything to help him. When we have both spent hours setting things up for him then he won't go. Unfortunately his dad and his dads family are total inabelers and give him what ever he wants including drugs to calm him down! So I finally said, great go live with them. I am done until you can get help for yourself and treat me with respect.
I feel terrible about it, which lead me here, now I feel a little better. I have several different health conditions, most of which stress make worse and was supposed to have had surgery 2 weeks ago for a possible thyroid cancer and I have had to but it off. Not to mention my husband (his step father) works his but off everyday to come home to yelling and screaming and me upset everyday. I also have a 17 year old daughter that lives here that deserves some sanity to. She is so mad at him she won't come home if he is here, she stays at friends. I feel like I am neglecting the ones who need me and will take help for the one who is strung out , abusive, and won't do anything for himself at 29 yrs old.
All in all, I feel like I had no choice. I could no longer put the rest of my family through it anymore, and I feel like I was just enabling him to continue. He does have other family to stay with, he just didn't want to. Maybe they can figure something out for him and won't enable him. Which I probably why he wanted to stay here.
I am a mother of a 29 year old addict that after 3 months living in my house I had to kick him out yesterday. Today I am sticking to my guns and not giving in to his threats. But it is killing me. He has been doing every drug imaginable for at least 4 years. He is a truck driver and passed out at the wheel a week ago with my 4 yr old grandson with him and rolled a fully loaded semi! Thank god they were ok. But now that he is not working he has more time for drugs! If that was not a wake up call I don't know what is. His cousin that went through rehab has arranged for a 3 month scholarship to a great rehab, all he has to do is call him. He won't even do that. So my opinion is he is just not "ready" to go. And I can't make him. He has lost everything. His wife is divorcing him, he doesn't get to see his kids anymore, he has no job, and all he does is more drugs! He gets very verbally abusive with me and tries to blame me and his wife for not doing anything to help him. When we have both spent hours setting things up for him then he won't go. Unfortunately his dad and his dads family are total inabelers and give him what ever he wants including drugs to calm him down! So I finally said, great go live with them. I am done until you can get help for yourself and treat me with respect.
I feel terrible about it, which lead me here, now I feel a little better. I have several different health conditions, most of which stress make worse and was supposed to have had surgery 2 weeks ago for a possible thyroid cancer and I have had to but it off. Not to mention my husband (his step father) works his but off everyday to come home to yelling and screaming and me upset everyday. I also have a 17 year old daughter that lives here that deserves some sanity to. She is so mad at him she won't come home if he is here, she stays at friends. I feel like I am neglecting the ones who need me and will take help for the one who is strung out , abusive, and won't do anything for himself at 29 yrs old.
All in all, I feel like I had no choice. I could no longer put the rest of my family through it anymore, and I feel like I was just enabling him to continue. He does have other family to stay with, he just didn't want to. Maybe they can figure something out for him and won't enable him. Which I probably why he wanted to stay here.
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