kicked my son out on the street

[islandcat]

I'm new here. I am going through tough times with my 23 yr old son. He was jobless and took him in. He is addicted to oxy, percs and pretty much any type of pill. Did not know this.  He has good days where not sure he is taking anything as he will never admit to it. Then days on end where he is high and abusive to me. Then the days on end when he sleeps for 4 or 5 days straight, detoxing I guess. I have talked to drug counsellors to understand these drugs better. I have done everything I can to help him but he wont even admit to his habit let alone help himself.  I find pills everywhere and worry about my granddaughter finding them. Last nite did me in when I found out he had stolen from a friend, obviously to get money for more pills. I hate myself, it hurts so much to shut the door on him but I cant live like this anymore and am probably responsible for enabling by giving him a bed and food. It doesnt help that I have already lost a child and am always waiting for the call that he has overdosed again. Has anyone else been through this? Not sure this is where to post this but need to understand what is happening with him and these drugs.  I have to be strong because I know the phone calls and his tears to come home will start but cannot trust anything he says anymore.  Any advice would be very welcome.  

[ladywithfaith]

Thank God and you so much for the eye opener of Adam and Eve eviction notice. I tossed my daughter and her boyfriend out of my house a couple of days ago and still wondered if I've done the right thing. My daughter was in intensive care the day I gave her three choices, one I told her I could go through all the channels of the law and force her to go to rehab or two she could go voluntarily and last I didn't want her in my life. You see, she overdosed and died three times, this third time of overdosing is why she was just in intensive care. After giving her these three choices and while she was still in intensive care she became angry and took her father and I from being able to find out about her progress but made it where her boyfriend was allowed to know everything about her progress. So, I had her boyfriends mom to have him call me but my daughter called instead. I let her know to tell her boyfriend I had thrown their things out and on the front lawn. Her reaction was, ok I'll be out there *****. She signed herself out of intensive care, their things are still here. The reason I am so angry with her boyfriend is while we were praying for her life, working prior to the medics arriving, using CPR to save her life, her drug addicted boyfriend staggered himself away from the seen while she was dying  and went downstairs and into the kitchen made himself a bowl of chile sat at the table, ate like nothing was happening. My daughter has a 10 going on eleven year old daughter who is now under the thumb of CYS to the idiot, the only grandchild I have. My daughter now has what they call duel diagnosis. Her body is falling apart with pain, her brain well you might guess, she swears at me like I've never dreamed and I've gotten into physical altercations with her over the disrespect that i won't tolerate. I've thought about giving my daughter the opportunity to only allow her to stay here and see if she would say yes. This could give her a break away from her boyfriend and then we would be able to see how much of an influence he has on her if any. I'll keep you up to date if you'd like.
                                               Thank You So Much new girl 2708

[mominneed25]

my son has been addicted to herion for 3 years ive kicked him out nput himin 4 rehabs methadone clinics 3 times suboxone treatment 4 times called police put him in jail for thirty days nothing is working he just turned 21 and his dr says he is going to die from this he is living in my home so i can watch to make sure he dontoverdose i make sure he is breathing all night he uses a needle now what do you do when you have done everything to get him well he has stolen everything from us worth value abuses us i cant sleep eat or breath i know he will die he has overdosed 3 times my dr is going to perscribe me narcan i cant go on anymore do u have an answer for me please help me

[Map1944]

Thanks Son

[Sonrissa]

Hey Map & JFK76, this mommy posted her own thread on this site here last night and it was moved to the Living with an addict forum! I just checked & no one has responded but me! If you can please go over to the Living with an addict forum and post your replys! I think she really needs some support! Thank you!!

[Map1944]

I'm sorry to hear about this.  I put my parents through the same torture as your son is doing to you...
This may be hard to hear but you have to let him decide that he wants to stop.  You need to support him in getting clean but that involves tough love.  No food, shelter, money, nothing.  As hard as that may be to do It is the best thing.
You must realize that it is out of your control and he needs to find his own way to sobriety.  
I have seen both sides of addiction, being an addict and putting my family thru hell.  Also dating one and seeing the other side and the damage addiction can do to loved ones.
There's not much I can say to help unfortunately...
You just have to pray that he will find his way to living a sober life

[jfk76]

I think about that all the time.  I did all of the same things you did.  My son is 26 and he has a 4 year old son.  I have paid fines, bail and lawyers many time.  I gave him a car to get to work, I gave him a place to live when he was kick out of his apartment, I paid for his cell, his insurance and anything his child needed.  I place myself is financial ruin for him.  Just because I loved him and because I thought that if I just kept trying to help him, trying to save him, he would be ok.  I was wrong.  I finally said enough was enough the day I had to run home from work because my neighbor called to say my son kicked my front door in and almost drove my car into the side of my house trying to get it started.  I had disabled it.   I dialed 911 and told him that he either go to rehab or jail.  I drove him to rehab that night.  Its been 3 weeks that he is clean at the rehab and for that I thank God.  However, I have realized that I can love my child without loving my child to death.  By enabling him, I was loving him to death.  I was giving him the means to continue to put that needle in his arm.  Police still come to my house looking for him and I live in fear or getting the mail or opening the door because I can only imagine what he did to get money for drugs but I have to stop living in fear and realize that it is his addiction and it does not have to ruin my life because it is not my addiction.  Don't know if this helps but hang in there.  Our ways weren't working and are not helping.  Now its up to them and just keep saying prayers that God can help them shed their addiction because we can't.  Good Luck.