knowing when you are addicted

[Dadof5kids1973]

Just wanted to say one of the first days I knew I was addicted to pain meds was one saturday I woke up and couldnt get out of the bed fast enough to go to the pharmacey to get my prescription, it was the first thing i thought of when I opened my eyes and the last thing I thought of the night before when I closed my eyes. That day (sat) was my sons birthday and I did not remember until noon when my wife asked was I going to tell him happy birthday. Just wanted to chat it down and maybe help anyone else who is in denial. Funny what those darn pills will do to a person....

[Dav125]

Lucky you Jimmy, wish I could say the same. Like Tramahater says, this stuff invades the brain. I mean coke was bad, but those thoughts came in the form of cravings like hit and miss. These opiates invade and stay. I'm waiting on surgery but have decided in my case its time to reverse this. I let go of the oxy's 4 days ago and have some hydro's I'm using sparingly as best I can until my surgeon appointment this coming week. I could use some oxy's but I'm done. Their evil. I've come to the point I need to get away from the emotion crush and change my focus from seeking relief to trying to deal with what pain still lives with me..Because the more I seek, the worse things get..Damn things are evil. Got wd's coming thru even with the suppliment of the hydro's..Conclusion?   Makes me think of a Michael Jackson song..Just tell them to "beat it,,beat it! Just Beat it!  :)

[Jimmy1975]

Hi guys and good day ! I still don.t know how I got off pretty easy as far as W/Ds . I took maybe 150 to 160 mils a week and never took any on Tuesday and Thursday . I play sports on those days and never mixed Vicodin with sports . Gaguy once said to me that maybe I was not an addict but a true abuser . I would think about them in the day but not have to run to them first thing . I never took any pills in the morning . My pattern was I would take a couple after getting home and chores were completed . Funny thing is is that I stopped having a drink when I started this ride . Stopped drinking all together , not that I ever drank heavy anyway . I think I was just plain lucky that it never got a hold on me like it does some people . It did take me a few attempts before I stopped all together .  I hope all of you have a great weekend ! Peace Jimmy

[tomskat]

Well said Worried!!It can happen to anyone at any time.I'm thankful that I was directed here o else who knows?The knowledge,strength,and friendships gained from this site are invaluable.Until we admit that we are addicts we cannot begin to heal ourselves..take care all and stay strong~Anne

[worried878]

I knew when i kept coming up short at the end of the month to pay my bills!   also i am a chronic painer but course my scips were not lasting anymore..the guy i got em from took a p test at his dr and failed...when i went into a panic..i knew i had a big problem on my hands...
didnt think it would ever happen to me!  Responsible, hard working, a person everyone comes to when they have a problem, everyone always tells me how strong i am..but i dont always feel that way...good front i guess
Addiction knows no educational boundaries, no class or creed or race....addiction can happen to anyone...i am no longer ashamed like i was then..it is just that it happened to me too

[gnarly_1]

HI the whole pill marry go round is really something to live on...I lived in denial for years
I had legitimate pain in my back but I was taking the pills by the handful ...it was the only way they would work...its funny how we can ligitamise our abuse...even the methadone would eventually get out of control and it took over a yr of consoling for me to realize that
today I look back and cant believe all the denial I lived in...im so grateful not to be in active addiction anymore ...now I work on my recovery one day at a time but im making progress ...good luck to all who choose this road.....Gnarly    

[LeaAnn807]

I feel you!  Not a waking moment went by that I didn't think of my pills.  Were they hidden well enough?  Did I have enough left?  It is the weekend, and I may run out?  Is the pharmacy open on the day of refill or will it fall on Sunday?  Will my doc give me anymore?  How can I get them early?  What will I have to say?  It's crazy.  

I don't miss it!  Do you? : )))