medical advice/contributions

[groovygirl]

i thought i saw a post from dr. steve in reference to donations.  i was surprised to see his name, since they said he wouldn't be back.  do you think if we all try to give even just a little money, that we could get a dr. back here?  not to bash dr. steve, but he never really gave very in-depth answers, and he mostly said to seek medical attention from your dr. i guess everyone is afraid of liability or something.

i remember running across another medical help forum somewhere in my online travels, and i wish so much that i could think of its name. please, if anyone knows of it could you let me know?  i really feel that although this is a WONDERFUL place, most of us are not drs/nurses, and professional advice would be so helpful (to me).

i would definitely make regular/maybe quarterly donations to a place that had a dr. overseeing it and answering questions more fully...do you think the people who run this board would be willing to look into finding someone if we all pitched in what we could?  it would be too bad if they had to make this board cost something for everyone - some people just pop in and out and i don't think they should have to pay, but many of us (like me) come here every day.  i have no idea what to contribute...does anyone have a number in mind - i'd just like to know what you guys think would be appropriate.

thanks all:)

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Well I'm back again...couldn't resist the temptation after I downloaded some family pictures.  It's so easy to get involved here, especially when we are already addictive people!

There should be no shame in this forum...really.  I've apologized many times here to folks I've offended.  I can be an ******* anywhere and so can you! Mostly, I try to be nice like the way my Mommy raised me to be.

I hate the bad days when people can't even look me in the eye because of my attitude.  I relish the times when I've been good and interact civily with all I encounter.  Good days, bad days, but nonetheless..."my days". Thank God I've never lost my conscience and have the ability to try and get better day by day. Patience is truly a virtue, isn't it?

J.B.

[oh please already]

Yesterday was mothers day,and i spent my day watching my just 4 year old play,shes getting so big,sometimes its hard to remember thats she's still a baby-this is a cause of many fights between myself and her father,like all parents fight-he holds her more acountable for her actions then I ,Looking at her you see and hear a small person,smart with her mind,making leaps of logic  which are too cute and sometime quite mature,but then You remember really ,its only been a very short time of her world and self awareness,so shes still testing her world and emoitions.Shes always been a very sweet child,no real terriable twos,so its quite a shock now when she loses control and gets angry.Watching her have her tantrams,you can see a flood of emoitions flow across her face and what always catches me is her fear,Shes mad and upset but then a point comes when she seems to relize that she doesnt know how to turn off begin mad,and she gets frightened,which just makes it harder to regain control. And I know that feeling way too well.Its my greatest fear too.Its easy to love and accept someone when everything is good,controled and predictable-but easy to panic when you see someone else lose it,I worry that If i ever let someone(even those on this forum ) see the real me,they will turn their back,saying I should have better control and its my own responablitiy(Which I know it is)But the trouble is i dont know how to control the highs and lows and fears and unless i can find a safe place to learn,i never will.I hope to teach my child this skill now,but I wasnt taught it so I also am learning at the same time.ANghts is right ,this should be a safe place,begin alike in so many ways,we all have a certain common ground of fears and know what can and will terrify each other.Not begin heard,and judged for our shortcomings(which we are all very self aware of)are hot spots for alot of us and up until recently we would all just self medicate the pain away,but we dont now and were all searching for new ways to cope with some of the most inteance human feelings you can have,of security and acceptance even when we are begin the real us,and its hard ,and very very scary and like a four year old we puff up with false barvado and anger to protect ourselfs.I have read that when you are drunk and wasted you do not experance any emotional growth,and so some of us are quite new at this,these feelings and need some time to learn how to manage and control,but mostly I think and hope that like I do with emily,I can get some understanding,and encouragement and even forgiveness as I grow ,because its hard enough to be 4 or 37 when your just learning how to take those baby steps into a healthy,happy and loving world.No more then any of us would punish or ridicule a child for attempting to learn or grow,should we do the same to each other.I found great peace and comfort here on this forum and i pray that anyone\everyone who is looking for the way will get the comfort Ive gotten>They say you cant pick your family,its just a luck of the draw,in someways people here are more family(We do share the gentic link of addiction )and even though sometime someone here can make me laugh,cry or scream,you have also allowed me to live and feel these feelings which I think is better then begin numb anymore.    laura   today I am a grateful addict

[GOD]

Heya, Kip-

I got back late last night... How bout you? Did you go to that "Cowtown" 90 miles north yesterday? I'll be working for the election office today and tomorrow for Tuesday's primary, so I'll be a little scarce until Wednesday.....

Hope all is well for everyone out there!
Jess

[angst]

Groovy did not deserve my bashing.  I am writing to apologize.  I was only thinking of my feelings.  That was awfully selfish.  I am always preaching the whole of the forum is better than any one person alone.  I was not practicing what I preach.  Please groovy and all, forgive me.  I want to be helpful and be helped by this forum.  I have been in the past.  Tracy, skipper, hippy, meagain, rowanshyne, irishrose and hinkster, and groovy and Mr. Michael have all been good to me.  I had no right to do what I did.  I messed up.  And I'm asking for forgiveness.

[hippy]

SORRY

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I don't blame you for feeling the way you do about this forum. I've been staying away for a couple of months myself. Like you've said many times, "it's better to avoid a problem than to deal with it".  This forum is not that significant a part of my life, anyway. It was a big help once upon a time when I was really hurting. I'd like to think that I'm pretty stable these days and wish to stay this way.

I'll check in from time to time whenever I can spare the time.  Hope you do the same!

J.B.

P.S. To the one who writes in capital letters...what's that all about?  Many people don't read posts that are all caps as it makes you look like your words are etched in stone and better than anybody else's.