Desperate

[janeneedsomehelp]

I've been reading about some Norco users and am too ashamed to admit how many I take. I have been weaning myself the past few days and I continue to experience w/d symptoms. At this point I am alternately crying/laughing, depressed, hot/cold. The worst is the naseau....it comes and goes and I vomit at least once a day. I have had the naseau problem for a few weeks now, with occasional vomiting, so this, combined with my shame and multitude of other reasons has brought me to finally stopping this. As with most here it seems, I started taking Vicodin legitamately for pain and have progressed to the Norco 10/325. I'm trying really hard and I think I'm doing really well (tapering as much as I have) but this vomiting and naseau is about to undo me. It's especially hard when you are a single mom trying to take care of yourself, house, and child. Any advice on what others have experienced as far as w/d symptoms and length would be really appreciated. I am resolved to stop this....I am beyond shame and so scared. I went today and bought tons of fruit to begin juicing, hoping that some natural food will help. Not sure what else to do. Please help.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Tapering is a structured thing. You are wise to journal what you take. Set aside portions ahead of time, maybe that would help. It is far too easy to take more than you should if they are in front of you.
Good Luck!

[janeneedsomehelp]

Ugh....what a knife in the heart....uvlvrebel...I know exactly how you feel....telling my toddler "mommy's tummy hurts" when I'm about to hurl has made me feel like the worst human being ever born.

Everyone: thanks for all the support. I feel better today then I have in the last few days, but still had a bout of naseau (but no vomiting yet today!). I don't think I could go cold turkey based on how I've been feeling. Hearing some of your stories has given me more courage. I know there were days when I exceeded 30, just because I wasn't paying attention and kept on taking. Part of the tapering is that I'm recording how much I'm taking when, along with how I feel and it's shocking me....making me wonder what my highest intake # was. I have been terrified of the long-term damage I've done to my body, esp my liver. The courage I've gotten here allowed me to talk to a nurse friend who was able to talk to her doctor about me anonymously. I realize it's not the same as a "real" blood test or whatever but I was relieved that he didn't think that I had permanent damage that would never be overcome....I thought for sure he'd say "ugh-yep she's one foot in the grave and better come in quick-like" so I'm just glad that wasn't his response. I think part of how physically bad I've felt is attributed to the guilt I've carried so it's nice to be able to get rid of a small piece of that.

Even knowing what I know and feeling how I feel they still call to me. Horrible, horrible, dangerous stuff.

[uvlvrebel]

Don't worry, you are not alone... i was doing 4-6 at a time every 3-4 hrs... i think i passed 20 on more than one occassion... and i would sprinkle in there a few soma and xanax as well...   not the proudest moment of my life... but i am proud that i did not die, that there was "someone" watching out for me.  I am proud to sit here and offer up my story as hope to others out there.  I might be only day 9 c/t.; but I am proud that I am: Day 9 c/t.  I never even knew i had a problem until i came to this board... i had put all my energy into thinking, "the whole world is against me and my suffering".  I am happy to know that all that "pain" I was feeling was more accurately withdrawal symptoms.  

Everytime my mind was feigning for a pill, it would trick my body into believing that there was pain.  Pain in the same places that it had originally existed in, only magnified and worse.. "So much for time heals..." I would think.  After I finally stopped my more than 2 yr habit; now, I can see those little blue things for the evil that they are.  I may still have some soreness associated with a stiff neck, but that phantom pain no longer exists.  and i know that the neck stifness (thanks to this forum) is all part of the withdrawals.  I am proud of my family, my daughters and myself.  Their love keeps me strong and refusing to seek more, they deserve the mother they thought they were getting when they signed up to be my daughters.  "Mommy, I hope you feel better soon and I love you."  I will be forever proud when I WILL, girls.

[m_i_strongenuf]

oh honey, I don't believe you'll ever be judged by anyone here...that's why we are here. We all have our own personal demons we're fighting. I, myself, just "came out" here a couple days ago, and was scared of the same thing, but i actually read a post from someone who was taking even MORE than me ..I then realized there is hope for me yet! - my demon is tramadol, 50mg tabs shouldn't take more that 8 pills a day...I've been poppin' 30 pills a day!  That's humiliating itself, but I started having seizures and still didn't quit! crazy or what?

I'm using the tapering system, personally I do not have the guts to go c/t, I wish I did!

Good for you hanging in there. We all feel your pain, and we're all here for you. Remember, you & your children are worth your effort...keep coming back!

One Day At A Time sweetie, you can do it.

[janeneedsomehelp]

Thanks-I'll take a look. I've read through some posts and everyone does seem really great....there is the occasional judgements/soapbox post though, so I was a little nervous about that, especially since this is the first time I've "spoken" of this ever and I've been in this h-e-l-l for over a year.

[allaboutmary]

We are not here to judge. Crying is part of it also. Cry and post all you want. These are really great people here, that want to help.

[allaboutmary]

Find Fladdict's name in one of the posts and click on it. I believe she has a lot of taper info in her profile. I had some nausea when I went cold turkey.  Definatley sounds like you are tapering to fast to avoid withdrawal symptoms.

[janeneedsomehelp]

I have gone down to ~20/day the past couple days. Please-no judgemental reactions to this....this is the first time I have asked for help or even breathed of this problem and I am beating myself up enough for the entire world and then some. I cannot stop crying as I write these posts.

[Babanker07]

How many are you taking if you don't mind me asking?

[janeneedsomehelp]

I wish someone could. There is really only one candidate for that and she is in the healthcare field. I cannot put in her the position where she would have to choose between her ethics and her relationship with me. Her father is undergoing pscyh eval (what a surprise that was) so he is not allowed to have her by himself. The amount I've tapered is pactically cold turkey, considering how much I've been taking. I've had experience tapering Prednisone for a chronic illness-should tapering Norco be as slow as tapering off Prednisone? I'm sure naseau is absolutely a side-effect I expected, but I'm unnerved by the vomiting. Have you had experience with this or do you know about it? Thanks for any help.

[allaboutmary]

If you taper very quickly you will have alot of withdrawal symptoms. Is cold turkey out of the question ? Taper is suppose to be a rather long slow process. Can anyone help you with your daugher to go cold turkey and get it over with ?