Aa
mother of 2 addicted to lortab wants help but cannot get it
ok here i go so i am new here...this is a little about me..im a mother of 2 i have a 3 month and a 10 year old..i am a addicte and i am addicted to lortabs and tramdol...i have been on lortabs for about 12 years now and tramdol..well maybe 6 years or so...i cant really tell u how meny i take cause i dont count them..but it goes something like this i get 180 lortabs a month the 7.5/500 and i will go through them withen somewhere around 10 days ya scary i know...the tramdol i get 60 about every 10 days...they last maybe i week..i try and save my tramdol for when i run out of lortabs cause even though the tramdol..makes me sick it keeps me from going dope sick...then im finding myself begging trying to find someone to sale me something...so i had decided enough was enough..instead of chasing a pill i would love to be able to chase my kids around instead alot more funner..so ii found this website..found a place through here for my town..contact this doctor i guess left message never called me back...see its hard to get help where im from...if u go to a reguler doctor they will give u like 2 week supply say ok taper off and never come back haha yea right that does not work..tryed to detox at home nope didnt happen...ok so i found a detox center and rehab place in my home town called the hotline today..haha u know how meny thousdands of dollers they want to get into a place like that..for someone whit no credit no job and 2 kids surely cannot afford..i know u are gonna ask how i afford the pilss.well for 2 dollers a peice its cheap....and i only can get a very few...like maybe 10..so do the math..i do have medicade haha joke they wont help with something like this...im sorry it pisses me of that i want to get clean and stay clean but no one wants to help me...but yet they want to look down on u wtf....its ok for a doctor to get u on these u get hooked thats fine..u want to admit ur a addict and want help..hahahah....good luck the doc says..how in the world is that right..they see people like me dying our lifes destoryed then the medical communtiy just shakes there heads and are like we just dont know what to do to help these people..so lets do this nothing....well you know what if u would offer ur time to people like me who want and need help.there would be alot of us getting and staying clean thats what they want right??? or at least i thought so,...guess not....sorry so long im just so mad dont know where eles to turn or what eles to do but to stay this way...ive tryed going through the withdraws ive tryed tappering down ive tryed having a family memeber hold my pills for me...and it has not worked thanks for listening i guess since thats all anyone can do,.cause no one who can help will..man screw my life...
hi lacie and welcome to MH. you have come to the right place we can encourage you and let you know there is hope, you can get off the pills.
you said "so i had decided enough was enough..instead of chasing a pill i would love to be able to chase my kids around instead alot more funner.....ive tryed going through the withdraws ive tryed tappering down ive tryed having a family memeber hold my pills for me...and it has not worked "
well not it isnt going to be easy to stop a 12 yr. addiction, but if you want to be clean it is going to take alot of work on your part. you can detox at home, it will hurt, you will be sick , you will be uncomfortable but this will pass. you can go to na/aa,support groups at churches,celebrate recovery,salvation army,overcomers these are all free.
there are some things you can do to help the detox be a little more comfortable.
drink plenty of fluids, take otc advil for the pain, take hot baths with epsom salt, for pain and rls, take vitamins, exercise, eat bananas for rls, immodium for the bathroom issues. pray,pray,pray, you will be through the physical withdrawals in about 5-7 days. the tramadol needs to be tapered this can cause seizures going cold turkey. so someone will have to hold those and dispense those to you.
keep the faith, you can be free of those evil pills
sending prayers
debbie
do you have any pills left now?
you said "so i had decided enough was enough..instead of chasing a pill i would love to be able to chase my kids around instead alot more funner.....ive tryed going through the withdraws ive tryed tappering down ive tryed having a family memeber hold my pills for me...and it has not worked "
well not it isnt going to be easy to stop a 12 yr. addiction, but if you want to be clean it is going to take alot of work on your part. you can detox at home, it will hurt, you will be sick , you will be uncomfortable but this will pass. you can go to na/aa,support groups at churches,celebrate recovery,salvation army,overcomers these are all free.
there are some things you can do to help the detox be a little more comfortable.
drink plenty of fluids, take otc advil for the pain, take hot baths with epsom salt, for pain and rls, take vitamins, exercise, eat bananas for rls, immodium for the bathroom issues. pray,pray,pray, you will be through the physical withdrawals in about 5-7 days. the tramadol needs to be tapered this can cause seizures going cold turkey. so someone will have to hold those and dispense those to you.
keep the faith, you can be free of those evil pills
sending prayers
debbie
do you have any pills left now?
Hi- You can get help and probably much faster than most. There are many government sponsored programs for drug addiction and,of course,they take Medicaid. There are NA/AA
meetings everywhere and they're free. You need to do a little research here and help yourself.
Believe me, there's help for you and it's out there!!
meetings everywhere and they're free. You need to do a little research here and help yourself.
Believe me, there's help for you and it's out there!!
Hey lacie just want to say that your moving in the right direction as a recovering opiate addict myself you tend to make everything about yourself when on drugs. Having to base your doses around your life puts alot of strain on the most important things kids, family, and good supporting friends which all contribute to change if u have the willpower. The best help I can recommend is the Thomas recipe. I myself chose this path and are 16 days clean today. The withdrawals are not meant to be easy considering what we do to our bodies while on opiates. But if u can keep telling yourself that this will not last forever you will make it threw and ultimately be able to enjoy life again the clean and sober way which is far better than the alternative.
Wow Lacie your honesty is amazing. I really respect you. I was in the same exact situation with my kids and habit minus the tram.'I was always given Norco 10/325. Whatever. Same difference except you have more risk for liver damage. The Tylenol is frickin brutal.
Anyway I got clean with AA and my life completely opened up. Everything got better. Got the house, job, car. Relationships too. But something was off. I was not completely honest. I even went to tons of therapy.
I am writing you back in the trenches on 120 Norco a month and running out in 2 weeks back begging for early refill or calling dope man. I haven't had a drink in almost two years but I am circling the drain and knowing how much better life is when I am free of this just makes it so much worse.
Write a letter to God or whatever you believe is running this thing called life or nature and ask for clarity and for the fear and obsession to use to be removed. It just might work and you have nothing to lose. I don't know why we want to sabbatoge our lives and ourselves but I don't want to spend too much time trying to PSYCO analyze myself and the disease of addition. I just k ow I have it and there is a way out when I am honest and ready to accept help.
You may not realize it but you just admitting here what you are doing and saying you are willing to surrender is huge! Tell you doctor you want to quit and erase the dealer's name from your phone.
Anyway I got clean with AA and my life completely opened up. Everything got better. Got the house, job, car. Relationships too. But something was off. I was not completely honest. I even went to tons of therapy.
I am writing you back in the trenches on 120 Norco a month and running out in 2 weeks back begging for early refill or calling dope man. I haven't had a drink in almost two years but I am circling the drain and knowing how much better life is when I am free of this just makes it so much worse.
Write a letter to God or whatever you believe is running this thing called life or nature and ask for clarity and for the fear and obsession to use to be removed. It just might work and you have nothing to lose. I don't know why we want to sabbatoge our lives and ourselves but I don't want to spend too much time trying to PSYCO analyze myself and the disease of addition. I just k ow I have it and there is a way out when I am honest and ready to accept help.
You may not realize it but you just admitting here what you are doing and saying you are willing to surrender is huge! Tell you doctor you want to quit and erase the dealer's name from your phone.
Ok like vicki595 said There are government treatment centers in towns with around a100,00pop town and they have to take you regardless but the down side ,they will detox U with phenobarbital and a clodine,that's a rough D/T your better off with home detox remedies.if u read my thread you'll see i was doing twice the amount you are and im on my 4th day and im doing pretty good,on the tramdol it will have to be tapperd you'll have get with you Dr, on that one he'll need to put you on a regiment.
hang in here you'll find a way lot's of good suggesting here...
hang in here you'll find a way lot's of good suggesting here...
thank u all for even taking the time to read my story...there is one thing i was thinking about with the n/a and other stuff like that..with my type of personailty and the way my mind is at least working right now..is being around and even kinda talking about pills at this point i cant do it makes me want to jones even more...also can i tell u that tonight im feeling lost sad and alone...even though i know im not..its a feeling of losing ur best friend in the world..i know im not crazy..i also am feeling depressed and very very moody and angry...im thinking that if i keep staying mad its gonna help get through some of this in a way..i would like to ask u all a qustion see how u all feel about this...my cuz was addicted to like meth and my aunt pretty much gave him her trazadone wich knocked him out and he slept for 2 days and he said when he woke up it wasnt that bad..now im thinking about taking a weeked..my mom and aunt has stuff that would knock me out for about 2-3days... and just sleeping through most of them days..until part of the physical part wears off..or am i just setting my self up for fauiler this way...???? is there a right and wrong way to do this im just wondering...well with the tramdol..ive just got to stop doc says no more...so i will have family here to watch me....i would love advice on this thank u all..and god bless and give us all the strenght we need,,,right now it is just every second for me..cant even count a minute yet..but ive just started havent had a full day of detox yet..now i have anxitey casue i know my little buddy is not gonna be here when i wake up in the moring...and im gonna be sick,,,god i feel like such a awfull mother even saying my little buddy.,cause i have a baby to wake up to god knows im greatfull for her and i love her and my other daughter very much..im doing this for me but im also doing it for them..so i can be a better momma...people say im a good mom know i dont let them go without..but yet they are cause they are not getting the whole me and they deserve that...and there not getting a real mom..there getting a fake drug induced mother...saying that hurts so much..and thinking about that hurts alot...im sure as this goes on im gonna have a lot of gult about stuff..i guess im going to have to learn to accept that emotion and let myself feel it for awhile and then just move on from it...thank u all i will come back im sure i will need u all
hey lacie just read ur story wondering how ur doing??? I too have a 8 month old so i can so relate to the feeling of bad mamma:( U have tot do this for U first so u can get better for them. I hope things are going good for u been a few days. I too am going throught the same damn thing i made it to day 7 and relapsed HOW FREAKING STUPID now i am struggling getting past day 1 again i end up caving in. This is by far the hardest thing i have done but know it can be don ei stayed clean over 3 years last time and never even thought about these stupid things. IT gets better and u will have the happiest life full of energy not having to calcel appts cuz u ahve no pills or chase and argue w dr's etc btw i completetly agree w u on the dr situation it is BS and needs to be brought to light these dr's need to be held accoutable for what they r doing. I had a surgery that was not healing and the dr left me on norco 10 mg for 9 months even the nurse said dr dont usually do this??? wth why did he for me that was the beginning of a addicted lifestyle i never even took the things before then. I want to just slap dr's for htis they should not be given unless the person is terminal inmy eyes. anyway gotta go but i will check back in really wanting to hear form u
yeah i know how u feel..i would never even to uch a tylenol...my mom and other people would have to fight me tooth and nail to take anything so i know how that goes also..the mental part of it all is so messed.up...and maybe everyone who takes and gets clean can take and protest at the capital hill to get things changed with these doctors...but heck the would probley just kick us all out..but who knows...ok going to bed,,,,
hi Lacie how you feeling ??? you should be in acute withdrawals if you havent taken anything
detoxing is ruff but its doable and you will be a much happer person when your clean the first thing you need to do is take accatability for your part......no one forced the pills down your throat you had to take them......each script came with a warning about it becoming habit forming in order to do this you have to take accountability for your part your an addict you did this to yourself you may blame the doctors for writing the scripts but innthe end you where the one who took them.....sorry dont mean to sound harsh here but accountability is the first step second is to realize your powerless to your addiction it is cunning baffling and powerful we can help get you off this stuff but you have to put in the work as an adict you will need to change the very way you think and reason starting with someone else did this to me.....we have all been there I was furious when I found out it was going to take 2yrs to get off methadone....I did it in 8 1/2 mo but that was ridiculously to long now if you want help we can guild you threw the process first off work on the stuff I said and come to piece about it for this to work you got to want it bab and will need everything going in your favor so we start from the beginning I will wait till you post back good luck and God bless.......Gnarly
detoxing is ruff but its doable and you will be a much happer person when your clean the first thing you need to do is take accatability for your part......no one forced the pills down your throat you had to take them......each script came with a warning about it becoming habit forming in order to do this you have to take accountability for your part your an addict you did this to yourself you may blame the doctors for writing the scripts but innthe end you where the one who took them.....sorry dont mean to sound harsh here but accountability is the first step second is to realize your powerless to your addiction it is cunning baffling and powerful we can help get you off this stuff but you have to put in the work as an adict you will need to change the very way you think and reason starting with someone else did this to me.....we have all been there I was furious when I found out it was going to take 2yrs to get off methadone....I did it in 8 1/2 mo but that was ridiculously to long now if you want help we can guild you threw the process first off work on the stuff I said and come to piece about it for this to work you got to want it bab and will need everything going in your favor so we start from the beginning I will wait till you post back good luck and God bless.......Gnarly
well lets say i have felt better that is so so for sure...my mind wont shut up..but thats ok i guess..comsidering what i have been doing to it..it kinda feels like everything in my mind has been shut off and things are trying to wake up that has not been awake for a long time..so it is adjusting to a whole new type of feeling where at one point there was not any at all..kinda like ur foot falling asleep for a long time and u try and wake it up..it hurts some and feels weird...ive been very very moody and tryingg my hardest not to take it out on anyone..i try and sleep as m uch as i can..pretty much ive been trying to listen to what my b ody is telling and and trying to fallow its cues the best that i can...its been only day 2 without anything at all...bbut for me im taking everything second by second..i try to write as much as i can in my daiiryi drink energy drinks or coffee to try and help give me a little boost when i need it..the thing that is killing me the most is my dang legs..it is awfull and my arms..they feel like they weigh a ton and a half..and just picking up and holding my baby girl feels like she weighs 50lbs...oh and i sweat alot i guess that is normal to and snezze,when people ask whats wrong that i dont want to know about this ii just tell them i got the summer flu..part of me just dont want to look bad in others eyes..see im still dealing with underlying issues..beside just getting physicaly clean...im looking into a na or something to help me deal with the my part..and owing up to it all..and then i need to talk to someone about the underlying issue of why i really did become this way..the bad thigns that have happend..i need to so i can try and stay this way for the rest of my life...i need to learn how to cope and live in the real world instead of the drug induced one..and let me tell u for me it is strange...i see people smiling out in public and happy and my mind complety goes to ok..so what are they on..i know itsbad... but this is a update thanks everyone
HI your thinking is good especially for being in withdrawals you understand its not the pills there just a symptom of a much deeper issue it is the escape where after we need to figure out what where running from I have been seeing the same substance abuse consolor for 3 yrs where still digging into why I used it comes out in layers sometimes theres so many there you forgot the original reason you started in the first place for me a big part of it is im bipolar and have spent 1/2 my life self medicating the other part was 2 herniated disks in my back
that got me started on the pills......but once I felt the euphoria of the pills I was sunk it lead to a 16 1/2 yr addiction to narcotics one im glad is over you have all the right ideas your plan is solid now work it and you will be successful in getting yourself out of this mess we all want to see you make it keep posting for support where here to help good luck and God bless.......Gnarly....btw you might want to lightin up on the coffee and switch to gatoraid wile detoxing it gives the body what it needs
that got me started on the pills......but once I felt the euphoria of the pills I was sunk it lead to a 16 1/2 yr addiction to narcotics one im glad is over you have all the right ideas your plan is solid now work it and you will be successful in getting yourself out of this mess we all want to see you make it keep posting for support where here to help good luck and God bless.......Gnarly....btw you might want to lightin up on the coffee and switch to gatoraid wile detoxing it gives the body what it needs
Hey good for you yoou are doing it. So proud of you. Yes all is normal that you are experiencing. Fluiids.hot baths or showerswere you able to gret the hylands restful legs or the potassium & magnesium supplements?
Yes using is just a symptoms of something much deeper pain.wounds.scars.emotions and pain that have been pushed deep down into your heart.soul and spirit. Counseling is so redcommended.the support groups will help. Try to get more around as much as you can you have to push yourself even if you don't feel like it.it helps a lot to get the endrophhins producinng again.
yes many many people live life on it terms without drugs and they are happy. There are things in life that are hard and sad and it all depends on how we deal with it. The LORD is a huge part of my husbands recovery and our familys healing. Pray and ask HIM to help you. To give you peace .joy.love. and to bbreak the chains of bondage and addiction.
You are on the rioad to recovery to jumped off the addiction insanity train headed for hell and have chosen the road to recovery and life.
Sens0ding hugs and prayers
Debbie
Yes using is just a symptoms of something much deeper pain.wounds.scars.emotions and pain that have been pushed deep down into your heart.soul and spirit. Counseling is so redcommended.the support groups will help. Try to get more around as much as you can you have to push yourself even if you don't feel like it.it helps a lot to get the endrophhins producinng again.
yes many many people live life on it terms without drugs and they are happy. There are things in life that are hard and sad and it all depends on how we deal with it. The LORD is a huge part of my husbands recovery and our familys healing. Pray and ask HIM to help you. To give you peace .joy.love. and to bbreak the chains of bondage and addiction.
You are on the rioad to recovery to jumped off the addiction insanity train headed for hell and have chosen the road to recovery and life.
Sens0ding hugs and prayers
Debbie
Just wanted to confirm that when i started on these pills they DID NOT come w a warnoingn my dr gave them to me l;ife tylenol adn NEVER once told me anything I never took them due to the high mostly just took more and more so i would not go through w/d i knew NOTHING bout these pills i was on them SO long it formed a dependancy so YES YES YES i FULLY blame the drs for this. On the flip side i now know i take them for other reasons so for getting back on them after 3 yrs clean that is MY fault but these drs have a HUGE part in this taking responsibility yes but when u r in pain and they give u these W OUT knowledge behind them that is THEIR fault i have a flad in my chart and my dr knows EVERYTHING what did he prescribe me for RLS VICODIN ummmm HELLO yes these drs ARE at fault
lacie how r u??? i forgot what day u were on now? I read so many of these just keeppushingt though u can do this it is the hardest thing in the world but it can be done i will type more later middle fo the night and trying to typw in the dark
well wanted to say im still alive all just havent felt like being on much..today been a crappy day..my left knee been aching alot..thats the one i have problems woith anyways and today it is worse cause no pills
HI Lacie....sorry to here about your knee ......for a wile you will experience something called rebound pain it is going to hurt a bit more because your not dumping in the endorphins to kill the pain it takes a wile for the body to start to build them up on its own again once it does your pain level should go down many of our members including myself do a lot better off the narcotics then on them it just the sticky parts like this that make it a bit of a challenge push past the pain it will start to subside in a week or 2 let your body build up its own endorphins to fight the pain naturally and yes today probably su cked your in the middle of a detox it is to be expected it is the price we pay for freedom hang in the keep posting for support we all want to see you make it good luck and God bless......Gnarly
ok so i had to post i have had such a bad day i felt like using but i didnt...it just seems like there are people out there that still want to see me fall flat on my face so there just trying to push my buttons but my god is stronger then there devil i had to share
hey lacie, congratulations on your clean time you are doing great. keep fighting the good fight, you can win this battle the LORD is on your side.
yes our GOD is stronger,our GOD is healer, GOD you are higher than any other.
you keep the faith, keep up the good work. you got this.
sending hugs and prayers
debbie
yes our GOD is stronger,our GOD is healer, GOD you are higher than any other.
you keep the faith, keep up the good work. you got this.
sending hugs and prayers
debbie
well about 19 days clean and i slipped up i didnt mean to..as i was cleaning out my closet i had found about 4 pills i must of hidden a long time ago i use to do that...well i had to do last minute school shopping cause i never started and school here starts tues and my 4 month old came down with a cold..and i had other stressors..i had them sitting on the coffee table getting the courge to flush them...when in the mouth they went..i feel so bad that i had done this i messed things up..but ihave no more of them left.. was wondering how far back will this set me and im i gonna go through w/ds again and if i do how bad will it be..
have you looked into any counseling or support groups yet?
to remain a recovering addict and not an active one all depends on the steps you take in your recovery.
lacie, please dont continue to look for reasons and excuses. you have to live life on its terms, there will always be school shopping, the children will always get sick, it will rain, the car will break down....................... fill in the blank.
you might have some withdrawal symptoms again, your body is still healing.
you have to resolve it in your body,mind,soul and spirit that you are done with these pills.
praying for you
debbie
to remain a recovering addict and not an active one all depends on the steps you take in your recovery.
lacie, please dont continue to look for reasons and excuses. you have to live life on its terms, there will always be school shopping, the children will always get sick, it will rain, the car will break down....................... fill in the blank.
you might have some withdrawal symptoms again, your body is still healing.
you have to resolve it in your body,mind,soul and spirit that you are done with these pills.
praying for you
debbie
i got in contact with one i go in tomorrow to speak to her wish me luck...i just want the gult and the excuse and all that to be gone im just so so over it..i want my life back
I completely relate to the whole "buddy" concept. I'm trying so hard to taper. Everytime I say no more drs, I find myself back at the drs office hoping they will give me a script. Then I get my little buddies and feel safe again. It's so crazy!!! I feel like a crazy person. I keep chasing the high and it only lasts for a few minutes. I want my life back! Thanks for listing
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