norco withdrawal again.. yeah I know

[xxxc123]

Hi everyone.   Im a 33 year old female with three kids.  I went cold turkey three weeks ago even got to day six and stupid me I  got my  90 norco refill.  That was filled on the  23 I took my last one yesterday around 6:00.  I have not done the math yet but im sure its well over a couple a day.  What the hell was I thinking?    So now im starting over 21 hours in.  Does anyone know if my withdrawal will be as bad?  Im willing to do this and I know how stupid I am so please don't tell me about myself.  
  I even said before I got them " ive got another buzz in me but I don't have another withdrawal.  "   so what the hell is wrong with me.  Im done.  I can get more but I don't want this anymore.  Y he six days I had clean my life was so clear and I realized how much I missed out on ny kids life.  I think the guilt overwhelmed me.  Of course I have no health insurance so counselling isn't an option.   I just want to make it. Does anyone know if this will be the same hell I faced not even a month ago or will it be easier because I didn't use for about a week?  Not going to quit if it  is hard just a question.  I know I was addicted  for a long time so I do deserve this. Thanks for the help

[Ariel0894]

Keep your head up, the guilt part is tough, that's something I struggle with the most too.  I actually don't have any health insurance either and would love to get counseling as I go through this process but can't, so I'm trying to use other supports as best I can.  For what it's worth, I've only been on this forum a week but it's been great, people are so supportive here.

[xxxc123]

Way  overly emotional I guess.  I started crying  when I read YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE I was ready for everyone to bash me. Thank you.  I am googling  those NA meeting s now. The withdrawal s don't seem as bad but I don't remember it being bad until day two.  I really hope some how it won't be as bad because i honestly don't know how I will explain this. Last time a couple weeks ago I said I was sick.

[gnarly_1]

Hi welcome to the forum  glad you found us  your detox shouldent be as bad but your going to still feel it  my bigest consirn is your relapse you lucky you dident O/D our tolerance goes way down after you detox that was a lot of pills in a short time  for me as well as most our members with a yr or more clean we use aftercare consoling helps but it cost money churches do it for free for me I tryed both but it wasent till I hit the rooms of N/A that I was able to arrest my disease and find recovery  the best part of it is its free  you will be able to share what your going threw with people that understand it  you wont get that ''deer in the head light stare '' that the normies give you once your there a wile you can pick up a sponcer and work the steps   that will give you structure and help you face the train reck of living in active addiction I cannot over efasize who important this is so google a meeting near you keep posting for support we dont shoot our wounded   your not a failure your a addict time to do something about it...........Gnarly