its to hard can we do this

[stilltrying1965]

im sorry for posting but my emotions are all over the place i am at my weakest wright now i dont want to fail now what have i done to my wife and family am shaking with anger are these emotions normal i dont want to fail now in 12 hours ill have made it to my 5 day i should not have done this to my wife as well im all over the place help please

[10356]

Turning the corner.. music to my ears.. I'm sitting her with a big ole grin on my face and I can not stop smiling.. my cheeks are going to be sore tomorrow :) I can not wait for kim to wake up and hear you giggle.. You will set her to giggling..

[stilltrying1965]

a did not know sarah was there but its good totalk av never giggled this many times for well a think round about a think now 13 years av just been existing but am turning a corner now thanks to you guys

[10356]

Yes that would be funny james.. I would love to see the pic.. after 13 years of Heroin.. the fact that you and kim are doing what they thought was the impossible.. You guys rock!!
N Carolina is almost on the other side of the us from cali.. but it still mails LOL

[stilltrying1965]

ill take a picture and send it to you and we will all laugh anyway a forgot to tell you my aunt is over here on holiday ken were she stays the us n carolina is that any were near you ill give her the pic and she could send it to you LOLlesa now that would be funny

[dominosarah]

All that matters is what you and Kim think.  It is their loss.........You 2 can hold your head high and let em wonder what you are up too!!!!  Oh just wait until you really start to laugh again......the tears will roll down your face cuz you are laughing so hard!!!!  I hadnt laughed in years and it feels so good.........

[10356]

This james is for sure.. You are going to shock the pants right off them.. then you and kim will have a real laugh.. One of the proudest moments is when just one of those family members looks into your eyes james and see's life.. Lets just say I wish I could be there...

[stilltrying1965]

lesa a everybody makes mistakes some of my friends and realitives wont even talk to me no invites to family parties  but its there loss coz me and kim would not have went anyway too busy getting smashed but whos gone to have the last laugh me and kim LOL

[10356]

Wait till we have you rolling on the floor holding your guts in laughing.. Now that is living LOL

[stilltrying1965]

well am really happy the now coz you made me giggle again 6 days ago i had no giggled for well i cant even rember i use are all WONDERFUL people

[10356]

I want to jump in on this 5 day congratulations :) You made it 5 days james.. I'm with sara.. doing the happy dance :)) Yes you both will beat this addiction...

[stilltrying1965]

This time last year i was probibly in a coma some were but you and sarah are right i am going to BEAT THIS ADDICTION  thanks to people who really do CARE  like you JACQUI who really do want to HELP everyone in this forum big hug for you james

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 5 days!!!!!  Im going to do the happy dance for you and Kim!!!!  Soon you will be happy dancing with us!!!!     sara

[Jacqui805]

dominosarah is right when she says to you, "You are beating this!!!"  You ARE beating this James.  How proFOUND...you've not been clean this long in THIRTEEN YEARS!!!  Wow!  Just think, last year at this very time, could you even imagine yourself where you are NOW?  You ARE beating this, you are on your way!  My thoughts are with you and Kim and I'm happy to remind you that it IS tomorrow, lol and you are now at FIVE days!

[stilltrying1965]

Yes sarahi will beat this wwhen i get all the lovely comments .Itake strenth from them and applie that strenth thank you sarah big hug for you

[dominosarah]

You are beating this!!!!  I am so damn proud of you.  We should all learn something from the strength and determination you and your wife have shown.  Keep going......your almost there!!!!          sara

[stilltrying1965]

You are right kim thanks to lovely friends like you how can we lose 5 days tomorrow the longest iv been off H in 13 years thank you kim big hug for everyone

[kim715]

Thats right James,you WILL beat it!!!! You WILL win the fight and you and your wife can get back to living again.A wonderful life awaits you both.I'm so proud of you both......Kim

[stilltrying1965]

thank you all for your comments i cried tonight reading then you have all gave me strenth and even more determination to beat this demon that has destroying my soul for the past 13 years you all give me determination and faith i can and will beat the demon that haunts my life i will win this fight with your help every thing yous say to me gives me inspiration to beat my addiction thank you all from my heart james

[kim715]

Keep fighting my friend,you're almost there.Sending strength to both of you...Peace....Kim

[cathy5841]

good for you.  you made through today and you CAN make it tomorrow.  i know you have hurt your family  we all have, but remember how much more you could hurt them if you turn back now.  STAY STRONG AND KEEP GOING.

[10356]

Good for you james.. and good for kim.. the care and love you have for each other is wonderful as you both have leaned on each other.. Remember james this is only temporary.. You really are doing good.. I'm very proud of you. We are all very proud of you both... Courage and strength my friend.. one minute at a time..

[stilltrying1965]

i have talked to my wife and went for a short walk the fresh air and private thoughts have gave me strenth to keep this fight going and looking at your comments from the first one i posted  has also made my mind more clear yes i could scream with the pain but feel better  for looking atthe comments i am and will continue this fight with my demon

[lostsoul2]

I have done this only to relapse countless times.  I'm at three weeks now and have no desire to use this **** again, and I'm in the middle of an impending divorce, probably the hardest emotional time of my life, the perfect excuse to use, to escape, to numb myself, but I am so happy I don't have anything or even want anything.  Yeah it hurts, but that's ok.  I can't even explain the feeling I have knowing I don't need or crave or want this stuff anymore.  Finally maybe I've had my last relapse.  Just remember, if you cave you start all over.  Don't ruin the 5 days you have.  Don't make it lost, wasted time.

[10356]

Yes lack of sleep can cause your emotions to be all over the place.. I'm sure you are sorry james.. I'm sorry for what I did to my family.. prove to yourself kim and your family how sorry you are by beating this Devil.. If you scored now not only would these last 5 days be for nothing.. but you will just compound the guilt and anger.. Now is your two's best chance of walking away from this without any more damage..
It is normal to feel this way.. please keep posting and work this through..
You can do this..