its to hard can we do this

[stilltrying1965]

im sorry for posting but my emotions are all over the place i am at my weakest wright now i dont want to fail now what have i done to my wife and family am shaking with anger are these emotions normal i dont want to fail now in 12 hours ill have made it to my 5 day i should not have done this to my wife as well im all over the place help please

[cathy5841]

hey stilltrying...please know your emotions are normal for opiate w/ds.   and the anger comes from beginning to feel again.  you have been numbed for so long,  your body and soul are beginning to feel again and it makes you mad at what you became.  yes, i have been there,  it gets better....dont give in, you know it is not worth it......you dont even want to go there....couple more days and hopefully things will be better.  i know those couple days feel like weeks but hang in ther.  take a walk and breath the fresh air......exercise will help you so much.  keep posting.

[avisg]

YOU CAN DO THIS there is a light at the end of this tunnel you are soooooooo close .You can be strong and do this there is a wonderful clean life out there for the both of you ....Lean on us ...

[onedaycloser]

James/Kim,

I have been following you as you have been going through this, you are doing GREAT! You are getting so close to starting to feel better just keep it up, almost to 5 days is awesome, just keep fighting off the bad feeling my friend, soon they will start to fade :)

[madtram]

Your emotions can be useful if you listen to what they are telling you.  They are screaming at you "don't go down this road again".  Please hear them & don't try to shut them down with more mind numbing H.  They will just fester away waiting to explode & you will have created so much more mess & pain.

You have suppressed your emotions for so long, it's natural that they will come bursting to the surface like a bunch of bairns who have been locked inside too long in bad weather. Let them have their say but know that they will settle down when they feel that you are acknowledging them.

Please keep posting, we all understand & support you.

Michelle

[steveo30]

when i first read your post 5 days ago,i was scared to death,i couldn't believe what i was reading.aside from that you had so many people out there with good advice and empathy.cathy and avisg ,you guys are great.hey bro you've made it past the worst of it ,dont give in,i will keep up with your progress as i'm sure many are.you are doing this.all the best

[Ronnie152]

Yes what you are feeling in normal, and you are doing a great job. Take it easy on yourself, you have been through hell and now you are coming back. Keep it up for you and your wife. Keep posting. Hope you have a better night.

[stilltrying1965]

can these emotions be cosed by lack of sleep iv only had 5 hours sleep since friday  i feel really ill my body is aching rls hot and cold sweats and watching my wife go through the same thing i just want to make her better but that would undo all the good work i really cant stand to see my wife like this im so sorry to bother yous with my troubles but i dont know what to do i could make her and myself better but i dont want to go and score heroin  its 2 30am in uk so i could not get even if i wanted too am sorry for doing this to my fanily

[10356]

My heart and respect go out to you james.. Like everybody said this is normal for wd.. The light really does stir up a hornets nest of guilt regrets and anger.. all those emotions we do not feel while high.. we think we do but we don't not really..  Please do not be sorry to post.. vent yell cry that is what the forum is for.. we will hear you and support you. We all go through this part.. and understand..

[10356]

Yes lack of sleep can cause your emotions to be all over the place.. I'm sure you are sorry james.. I'm sorry for what I did to my family.. prove to yourself kim and your family how sorry you are by beating this Devil.. If you scored now not only would these last 5 days be for nothing.. but you will just compound the guilt and anger.. Now is your two's best chance of walking away from this without any more damage..
It is normal to feel this way.. please keep posting and work this through..
You can do this..

[lostsoul2]

I have done this only to relapse countless times.  I'm at three weeks now and have no desire to use this **** again, and I'm in the middle of an impending divorce, probably the hardest emotional time of my life, the perfect excuse to use, to escape, to numb myself, but I am so happy I don't have anything or even want anything.  Yeah it hurts, but that's ok.  I can't even explain the feeling I have knowing I don't need or crave or want this stuff anymore.  Finally maybe I've had my last relapse.  Just remember, if you cave you start all over.  Don't ruin the 5 days you have.  Don't make it lost, wasted time.

[stilltrying1965]

i have talked to my wife and went for a short walk the fresh air and private thoughts have gave me strenth to keep this fight going and looking at your comments from the first one i posted  has also made my mind more clear yes i could scream with the pain but feel better  for looking atthe comments i am and will continue this fight with my demon

[10356]

Good for you james.. and good for kim.. the care and love you have for each other is wonderful as you both have leaned on each other.. Remember james this is only temporary.. You really are doing good.. I'm very proud of you. We are all very proud of you both... Courage and strength my friend.. one minute at a time..

[cathy5841]

good for you.  you made through today and you CAN make it tomorrow.  i know you have hurt your family  we all have, but remember how much more you could hurt them if you turn back now.  STAY STRONG AND KEEP GOING.

[kim715]

Keep fighting my friend,you're almost there.Sending strength to both of you...Peace....Kim

[stilltrying1965]

thank you all for your comments i cried tonight reading then you have all gave me strenth and even more determination to beat this demon that has destroying my soul for the past 13 years you all give me determination and faith i can and will beat the demon that haunts my life i will win this fight with your help every thing yous say to me gives me inspiration to beat my addiction thank you all from my heart james

[kim715]

Thats right James,you WILL beat it!!!! You WILL win the fight and you and your wife can get back to living again.A wonderful life awaits you both.I'm so proud of you both......Kim

[stilltrying1965]

You are right kim thanks to lovely friends like you how can we lose 5 days tomorrow the longest iv been off H in 13 years thank you kim big hug for everyone

[dominosarah]

You are beating this!!!!  I am so damn proud of you.  We should all learn something from the strength and determination you and your wife have shown.  Keep going......your almost there!!!!          sara

[stilltrying1965]

Yes sarahi will beat this wwhen i get all the lovely comments .Itake strenth from them and applie that strenth thank you sarah big hug for you

[Jacqui805]

dominosarah is right when she says to you, "You are beating this!!!"  You ARE beating this James.  How proFOUND...you've not been clean this long in THIRTEEN YEARS!!!  Wow!  Just think, last year at this very time, could you even imagine yourself where you are NOW?  You ARE beating this, you are on your way!  My thoughts are with you and Kim and I'm happy to remind you that it IS tomorrow, lol and you are now at FIVE days!

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 5 days!!!!!  Im going to do the happy dance for you and Kim!!!!  Soon you will be happy dancing with us!!!!     sara

[stilltrying1965]

This time last year i was probibly in a coma some were but you and sarah are right i am going to BEAT THIS ADDICTION  thanks to people who really do CARE  like you JACQUI who really do want to HELP everyone in this forum big hug for you james

[10356]

I want to jump in on this 5 day congratulations :) You made it 5 days james.. I'm with sara.. doing the happy dance :)) Yes you both will beat this addiction...

[stilltrying1965]

well am really happy the now coz you made me giggle again 6 days ago i had no giggled for well i cant even rember i use are all WONDERFUL people