so tired of it, im checking in to treatment

[wannabfre2b]

Hi everyone, you all know me, probably from the Brother Frankie dispute, but, i have decided tonite, i can not quit on my own, i have tried and tried, to no avail.  There is a treatment center that want to get me in, have you guys heard of it, its called The Treatment Center, they are in Florida, i have already talked to counselors, they will not let me suffer, they will help me through this, and if one thing, i have put up with my husbands abuse enough, and have tried and tried again to quit taking pills, this is the only way out, i HAVE to get away and get clean, away from all these surroundings. I know i t will be hard coming back, but i just want to be able to get clean, i \CANT do it on my own, i have insurance, so im going, please post and let me know this is the right thing to do.....im soooooo scared, but ready,  thanks.

[wannabfre2b]

I just got back from appt with addiction counselor ($175!!!) I was only there for and hour and a half, we discussed all substance abuse issues, past history, etc.  I am on a waiting list to go to treatment, may be 3-4 weeks before i can get in there.  I have some horrible anxiety, like i said to her, so what do i dotill i can get in there.  I will be going crazy with anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, you name all of them.  She is going to set me with a doctor to help with some meds to keep me calmed down, she said anti-depressents, maybe some kind of tranquilizer or something.  For one, i  dont want to take anti-depressents, they are addicting too, i know a friend that takes them (paxil) and when she runs out she goes off the deep end, God, i dont need that, something like clonazapam would help me just fine, i dont need to get hooked on another drug!!!  We talked about suboxene, and i said, NO to that too.  So now its just waiting, im ready to go check in today......wait,   wait.....and pray.  well theres my update, any ideas out there?

[wannabfre2b]

Well I had an appointment with an addiction counselor today, but the weather turned and we have another blizzard, she had to cancell appt until wednesday morning.  I was really looking to get the ball rolling, so have to sit and wait it out.  My family is very happy im going(of course except my abusive husband), so try and live this out until i can get there, sounds like a good treatment center here in my state, so dont have to go far, and my sister is going to take me.  Hope it will be soon.  Ill keep you posted, and thanks for the prayers, boy do i need them.  

[quitinoxys]

Great choice and I know you will make it. I will be praying for you and God will guide you through all of this. Just remember keep an open mind and take away everything you can from the experience. God Bless---Rick

[wannabfre2b]

Hi everyone, i think i found the right place, its a chain of treatment centers, that deal basically with drug addiction, its called DrugStrategies, Inc.  there is one not too far away, im planning on getting on that plane on Feb 14, and not looking back.  I am going through some horrible stuff, getting a divorce is a big one.  But i know if i am clean and sober i can do it (i can do all things through Him that strengthens me...)  Im scared, but optimistic.  Please send me some prayers.  thanks to all of you, i'll let you know when im leaving, and hope i can make it till then.  love you all.

[Katrina81]

I just wanted to wish you good luck on your search and your recovery. I really hope you find a treatment center and that you get good recovery care, care that you deserve. Please know you have my support and I am thinking of you!

[wannabfre2b]

Well day two, i have been unable to sleep, i keep thinking about, "is this the right thing to do, my crazy addictive brain is saying, "your fine, you dont need to go, its not that bad, you know, i hate when i start getting the "doubties".  I have been searching for a good place to go that i would be comfortable, ( i know its NOT a vacation, but i dont want to be in a hospital, or even worse, a prison feeling)  I havent been doing that many meds, in fact hardly any, and have really cut down on the beers.  My sister said something to me that keeps ringing in my mind, "when the pain of the problem is worse than the solution to the problem, its time to do somehting about it".  The state i live in doesnt have alot of options for treatment centers, if im going, i want to get good care, and a good recovery program, so the search is still on, if anyone knows of a good one, please post me, i have talked to the one in Florida, and it sounds awesome, but my funds are low and i dont want to be that far away (thats a long way) i evern looked at CA, CO, maybe even WA state, but to no avail. And then, it will be very difficult coming home, my husband is a pretty heavy drinker, (he doesnt use tho), but it will be hard.  There is an NA meeting tonite and i have been putting that off too, but im going tonite, if just to listen.  Any ideas of a good treatment center out west let me know,,,,,,im feeling very anxious today, but alot closer to the answer and my maker,,,,,he wants to know me again too.....God bless,,keep me posted, as i search.  thanks..for letting me vent.