3rd day

[helplessangel]

Today is my third day without subs. I was able to sleep thanks to xanax. But I'm going to have to kick that in a few days as well. I don't have a question really. I know I need to get some stuff at the store but I can't gather the energy or will to do anything. I've got chills and everything that can run is running. Feeling very rough today.

[motye51]

Instead of "remembering" our mistakes....now is NOT the time to rehash every stupid thing we did while using (i did quite a few) now is the time to take your life back! Dont get sucked into that hole of guilt. Too many people do that....which in their mind....is reason to use. DONT DO IT!!!
You have made the decision to quit....right decision....see it through. I'm sure, if anxiety disorder and ADD were diagnosed in the 80's i would have been top off the list!!! Alot of people use drugs to self diagnose and treat themselves....happens all the time.
I dont knowvif anything traumatic has to happen other than most of us are addicts and its just who we are??? I am an addict and i've known this for quite some time. We were just discussing earlier today, when i used to get up in the a.m. and look in mirror....i knew what i was doing was wrong....but it didnt stop me.....i still ran for my purse to get my doc.....we all did, was my point.....u r NOT alone!

[helplessangel]

That's funny! I think the register lady thought the same of me. I don't want to look in the mirror. From all I've done to the way I'm sure I look. I've let down everyone. And I don't even know why. I don't have an excuse for using. Nothing traumatic has happened to me. The only thing I that I have an undiagnosed mental disorder where I have blackouts and run in traffic. That's just one example. But that started after I started using.. Dont know if its a chicken or egg thing.

[motye51]

LOL...not laughing at you.....WITH you.  
I remember having to go to Walgreens one morning to get the Immodium, it was like 7:00 a.m. and I knew, by the look on the cashiers face, she thought I was going to rob her!!!!  I looked that rough....sweatshirt, yukky looking hair, bags under eyes, shaking, stinking ( no matter how many damn showers I took)....when I got back home my husband was like, "babe, have you looked in a mirror" and I was like NOPE!  I'm spewing from every orifice, do you think I give a **** about how I look.  You have to force yourself.....literally putting one foot in front of another....I had to drive carpool during this **** (every other day) praying while driving that God would help me get this kids to school in one piece.  The supplements will help....do you have anyone there that can go run a few errands for you?  Maybe go get these items....
Go SLOW with those benzo's....maybe stretch them out as far as you can b/c I'm sure there making this a little more bearable!