Aa
very embarrassed, snorting pills
I have been snorting percs and vicodins. I am now going through withdrawal, trying to get off, but part of me can't wait to do it again. I want to be clean, but yet I don't. I am ashamed, no one knows this except my best friend. Please help. I feel like **** right now, going on 36 hours with only one pill as i could not sleep and had terrible restlessness and had to do something to get me thru. One pill in that amount of tiime is nothing for me, I usually do 8 a day.
you really hit it, it's the after phase that kills me. i can always bite the bullet and do the detox, done it before. It sucks, but the thing about missing them and thinking about them and looking back is the worst part. I always have this little thought in the back of my mind that I am going to do them again one day. I wish I could just HATE them, but I feel dead. they liven me up. this is my third day and I feel like a walking zombie. I can't sleep and I feel like ****. I know what you mean about the feeling before drugs. I used to be happy and upbeat without drugs, I wish I had never tried them, but too late now. I wish someone would say they felt great and never thought of them again. Like you said, there has got to be a way. I have got to be free of this.
I really feel you man.
I'm going through the exact same thing right now myself. I've had that same 'love-hate' relationship for about 16 years now, and I often wonder if I can ever get to a point, to where it will finally just 'go away', and I'll never have the desire to take one again, unless I really need to for pain (I have kidney stones, which started all of this **** up again) Your question really 'struck me', because that's one I've been asking people, doctors, etc - for a long time now, but can't seem to ever really get a definite answer myself.
"Once you beat and get through the withdrawals - how do you deal with the 'psychological factor' afterwards, or "How do you get back to that point in life, where one can live without the drugs, be happy, and never really 'desire' them EVER again - and actually enjoy living once again?"
I'm about to begin my 'detox' starting tomorrow. This will make over the years, about my 5th or 6th time, trying to clean up. I already know that it's very possible to get past the withdrawals & detoxing effects - but I'll admit, so far, I've never really been able to beat that 'second part' - and that's just simply learning to live life happy again, without the drugs - for real. Everytime I've ever managed to clean up, I still find myself 'missing it' most of the time afterwards.
For example, I've been off heroin now for nearly 2 years, but I still think about it all of the time, and still 'missed it', WELL afterwards. Granted, I didn't really 'crave' it like I used to - but I find it hard to live, having to walk around all of the time, with just about everything around me reminding me of it, and how much fun & 'euphoric' those days were. Everything used to be so 'enhanced' by this drug & made things just absolutely wonderful, and made myself more active, creative - you name it.
Now things just look & feel kinda stale, if you know what I mean.
My goal this time around (with 1 year of percs, vics, and oxy's, on an extreme daily basis, under my belt - damnit) is to try & get through the dreadful detox part again - but then seek other ways to hopefully beat that second half, once and for all. I think I would literally prefer to saw my right hand off - if I could just go back and live a 'normal' lifestyle, like when I was young (before any drugs or medications). It's very difficult to stay clean if all you have to look forward to is a life of remembering 'the good ol' days' and constantly mourning the loss of that 'good ol' friend'.
I really feel you brother.
If anyone else in here can shed some better light, success stories, or how it's possible to truly 'enjoy' life after meds - please chime in. Some of us seem to REALLY need that help.
I'm experimenting with 'accupuncture' and 'Hypnosis' this time around - only because I haven't tried either of those yet and figure I've got nothing to lose anyway. If anyone else in here has tried either of those and had success, once again - please let us know. Sounds like we could all use ANY other help that we can get right now besides the Thomas recipe alone.
There's got to be more of a way than just forcing yourself afterwards to 'stay strong' and "try not to let it get to you" - or "just don't think about it". There's got to be a way to kill this damn demon once and for all - not just be forced to 'learn to live with it'. I've tried that SEVERAL times now - and I'm pretty strong when it comes to willpower - but this demon you can't just live with, I'm sorry. Like I said earlier, I've been battling this stuff, on and off for nearly 16 years now, and I keep losing each time - even after long periods of staying clean - only because of the constant memories. There's got to be a way to somehow almost 'erase' these memories & euphoric associations for good, or else the quality of life itself, will always be the lesser.
I'm sorry, but that's just not good enough for me. There's got to be a way.
I'm going through the exact same thing right now myself. I've had that same 'love-hate' relationship for about 16 years now, and I often wonder if I can ever get to a point, to where it will finally just 'go away', and I'll never have the desire to take one again, unless I really need to for pain (I have kidney stones, which started all of this **** up again) Your question really 'struck me', because that's one I've been asking people, doctors, etc - for a long time now, but can't seem to ever really get a definite answer myself.
"Once you beat and get through the withdrawals - how do you deal with the 'psychological factor' afterwards, or "How do you get back to that point in life, where one can live without the drugs, be happy, and never really 'desire' them EVER again - and actually enjoy living once again?"
I'm about to begin my 'detox' starting tomorrow. This will make over the years, about my 5th or 6th time, trying to clean up. I already know that it's very possible to get past the withdrawals & detoxing effects - but I'll admit, so far, I've never really been able to beat that 'second part' - and that's just simply learning to live life happy again, without the drugs - for real. Everytime I've ever managed to clean up, I still find myself 'missing it' most of the time afterwards.
For example, I've been off heroin now for nearly 2 years, but I still think about it all of the time, and still 'missed it', WELL afterwards. Granted, I didn't really 'crave' it like I used to - but I find it hard to live, having to walk around all of the time, with just about everything around me reminding me of it, and how much fun & 'euphoric' those days were. Everything used to be so 'enhanced' by this drug & made things just absolutely wonderful, and made myself more active, creative - you name it.
Now things just look & feel kinda stale, if you know what I mean.
My goal this time around (with 1 year of percs, vics, and oxy's, on an extreme daily basis, under my belt - damnit) is to try & get through the dreadful detox part again - but then seek other ways to hopefully beat that second half, once and for all. I think I would literally prefer to saw my right hand off - if I could just go back and live a 'normal' lifestyle, like when I was young (before any drugs or medications). It's very difficult to stay clean if all you have to look forward to is a life of remembering 'the good ol' days' and constantly mourning the loss of that 'good ol' friend'.
I really feel you brother.
If anyone else in here can shed some better light, success stories, or how it's possible to truly 'enjoy' life after meds - please chime in. Some of us seem to REALLY need that help.
I'm experimenting with 'accupuncture' and 'Hypnosis' this time around - only because I haven't tried either of those yet and figure I've got nothing to lose anyway. If anyone else in here has tried either of those and had success, once again - please let us know. Sounds like we could all use ANY other help that we can get right now besides the Thomas recipe alone.
There's got to be more of a way than just forcing yourself afterwards to 'stay strong' and "try not to let it get to you" - or "just don't think about it". There's got to be a way to kill this damn demon once and for all - not just be forced to 'learn to live with it'. I've tried that SEVERAL times now - and I'm pretty strong when it comes to willpower - but this demon you can't just live with, I'm sorry. Like I said earlier, I've been battling this stuff, on and off for nearly 16 years now, and I keep losing each time - even after long periods of staying clean - only because of the constant memories. There's got to be a way to somehow almost 'erase' these memories & euphoric associations for good, or else the quality of life itself, will always be the lesser.
I'm sorry, but that's just not good enough for me. There's got to be a way.
Waste to snort pills with Apap or other mix. You actually do better sublingually or orally. there is an extration method but I wont share it here. We are here to quit,
I thought so too, but I have tried this in the past and it never seems to work out. I guess I am not asking for advice on what to do, cold turkey or tapering, I am more interested in support to get me thru this. I feel so depressed. the thought of never doing pills again is almost too much to bear, but staying on them is killing me. Has anyone else felt this way? How do I get thru it?? What makes some of you say this is it and just be done, no matter what, and screw the pills forever? I have a terrible love/hate relationship with them.
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