vicoprofen/hyrdocodone withdrawal

[lanas]

I came upon this cite this morning as I sit here waiting for a call from my doctor about refilling a vicoprofen prescription. I've never done anything like this before (a bulletin board). But I too want to get off this stuff but seem incapable. I have a job I love but that is very stressful. I get up at 4:45 am to work out of my home so that when I pick my daughter up from preschool at noon, I can have the day with her, unencumbered my other things (mainly my job). She is 4 and the joy of my life. Her father takes her to her preschool. I am currently taking about 4-5 per day for migraines; it really helps, but I also recognize that I am taking it now because I need it to exist well. I, like others, have taken Ultram. It certainly will keep the withdrawal symptoms of hydrocodone away, but only causes its own. I am just curious for any responses; I want to quit this, but I know if my doctor calls back and I have a prescription, I'll be at the pharmacy within 30 minutes... I guess this is a cry for help, so Help!

[sammey]

Lanas and everyone i actually did approach one of my dr.'s one time during a mixup with my prescription and i realized for the first time that something was really wrong. i was shaking and sweating, hand wringing.Her reaction really scared me off from seeking treatment. she took a hands off approach immediately trying to distance herself from me, told me i should go to the emergency room and try to get treatment. i was so sick i just needed to get well enough to seek treatment so she gave me 3 pills and i got well enough to go to the emergency room for a script to get thru till mon and i convinced her it was a reaction to demerol, which i get, and she renewed my script.thats when i realized im on my own. and i have a disease that is very painful so i dont know what i would take instead. sammey

[lanas]

Thanks for the reply, Pancake.  I must say that I read what others are taking and thank I am fortunate that I have not had an endless supply.  I have absolutely no doubt that if I did, I would be taking many more than I do.  I also think this forum has helped me to realize this and that I had best be doing something about this NOW instead of later, when I could be in much worse shape.  You didn't sound preachy at all; quite the contrary.  Did you read Sammey?  20-24 10mg hydro a day?  Yes, I could be in worse shape.  I'm really trying to keep going the direction I have been the past few days, rather than the other--and you have all helped me do this.  Pancake, how are you doing???  Sammey--can you tell your dr about your plight and have him try to help you? Why don't you call around and find a local detox to check into.  From what I've learned from reading others stories here, this really seems to be what you need to do.  Get on your phone and find one and check in.  You'll get meds to help you through it and have support.

[pancake]

Hi Lanas. I read your post and i think its a good thing that you got that off your chest.  I'm no expert, but if i had to guess i'd say most addicts have similar stories. I too have taken pills from those i love and others. i'm not proud of it either. i've been thinking about another part of your story. You were saying that you generally take about 4 or 5 vikes a day.  I know what you mean when you say you don't have the supply that others seem to.  I was in your same shoes not too long ago. The short story is that when i got the opportunity to take more i did. Sometimes i was able to take less, but generally my usage increased.  The thing is Lanas that eventually they just don't give you the high anymore.  You said that since you've been tapering you just keep the withdrawls away, you don't get that "good" feeling anymore, well that's what its like all the time for me now.  I used to be able to tell myself that it was all worth it...to feel happy, you know, the whole thing.  But in the end i'm terribly addicted, period.  I really couldn't understand before why people would say this addiction was such a "curse"  or that they were ashamed. Not that i felt proud of what i was doing, but the pills gave me such a wonderful feeling and allowed me to be the person i wanted to be.  Anyway, i hope my story gives you the strength to keep tapering.  It sneaks up on you so fast. From what you have written it seems like you should be able to taper without a huge problem. i dont mean to make light of it, i know its not easy by any means, but it could be a lot worse...and like i said your story could have been mine just a short time ago.  Dont mean to be preachy, just want to help. good luck.

[sammey]

Hi Everyone,
just wanted to say this is a great website discussing a secret killer. Unfortunately that is just part of the bad news. This addiction (20 to 24 10/500 Hydrocodones a day) is terrifying and hummiliating.
I am at the point where i dont even get high very frequently i just keep from w/d. I have tried Dr. induced detox, meaning inbetween prescriptions and I am currently facing such a scene in 3 days. I wont have access to any scripts till the 18th. I am so sick in the morning even just after sleeping, I'll shake  till i take about six to get well. It is even getting so bad that i have to take a couple during the middle of the night. My life is a nightmare and i do not want to live anymore sometimes. My drs got me hooked i had no idea until it was to late and i went without and got sick. thanks for listening, i am still unclear about what the cocktail is there were some letters in there i could not identify could someone please explain? thanks
Sammey.

[lanas]

Thanks for your story; it is simply reassuring to know that others have indeed "blazed the same trail."  It has been the hardest part to me.  Something that is really pathetic--and boy do I need to get this off my chest--is this example of how low you can go. I have a son who is in his late teens (19)(I also have one that is 21); [I had them when I was way too young]. My 19 year old has been messing with drugs for about 2-3 years now.  When he was 17, we had him "taken" in the middle of the night (b/c we knew he'd run if we tried to do it) to a drug rehab facility.  To make a long story short, he's doing better, but is still messing with them and "hanging with" others that are in really really deep.  I must say 100 small prayers a day for him.  Well, at one point, I stole a bottle of pills from my parents; they blamed him for it (never actually confronted him, just said to me they were sure he was the one who had done it--I knew they would not confront him).  Did I fess up?  Hell no.  I went along (well, I just kind of said things like"really?"  and "that's not good"  you know....).  Anyway, this eats me alive sometimes, though less so since I've been on this cite.  Not to say it shouldn't bother me, but I'm starting to realize it is all a symptom of the greater problem and that if I can get rid of the greater problem, then these awful symptoms will go away.
I only took 3 vicoprofen yesterday (I didn't binge!).  I went without any ambien and slept 9 hours last night.  That floored me.  I have no doubt I can kick the ambien now.  Korg--thanks for your words--you are the reason I did not binge.  How is everyone else doing?

[sunny1]

KORG- YOU KEEP IT UP!!! YOU ARE AMAZING.

LANAS:  I USED TO DO CONSTRUCTION WHILE IN COLLEGE 15 YEARS AGO AND I WAS PAINTING FOR AN OLDER LADY.  I FOUND OUT THROUGH OUR CONVERSATIONS SHE HAD TERMINAL BREAST CANCER.  I NEVER REALLY KNEW IT BUT I  HAD ONLY WORKED FOR HER ABOUT 3 HOURS A DAY EVERY AFTERNOON FOR A WEEK.  SHE KEPT FINDING ODD JOBS FOR ME TO DOAND THE DAYS TURNED INTO WEEKS.  I REALIZED SHE WAS JUST "BUYING" MY COMPANY. (AS A RULE MOST ADDICTS I KNOW HAVE A  REALLY GOOD HEART AND WILL LISTEN TO AND HELP SOMEONE IN NEED .  I SEE MORE COMPASSION OUT IN SOME ADDICTS THAN I DO IN MANY PEOPLE WITHOUT SUBSTANCE ADDICTION PROBLEMS...ESPECIALLY WHEN OUR DRUG SUPPLY IS OKAY AND WE ARE WORRIED ABOUT RUNNING OUT ETC...) SO, I WAS PAID FOR ONLY WHAT WAS FAIR AND REFUSED MORE MONEY.  I ACTUALLY WANTED TO HELP HER DO ANYTHING I COULD.  WELL, SHE HAD TO DRIVE TO GET CHEMOTHERAPY AND TO THE DOCTOR AND DRUGIST ONCE A WEEK.  HER LITTLE CAR HAD NO WORKING A/C (IT IS HOT HERE).  WELL UBENOUNCED TO ME SHE TOOK THIS 15 YEAR OLD CAR TO THE NEW CAR DEALER AND THEY RIPPED HER FOR $350 AND STILL DID NOT FIX IT.  WHEN I FOUND OUT I WENT TO THE DEALER AND RAISED HELL.  THEY WOULD NOT BUDGE. SO,  I WENT AHEAD AND FIXED IT ON MY OWN AND TOOK IT TO HER.  I TOLD HER THE DEALER MADE IT RIGHT. OTHERWISE SHE WOULD HAVE PAID ME MONEY SHE DID NOT HAVE.
DURING THIS WHOLE TIME I WAS PINCHING HER PAIN PILLS.  WHAT A GUY I AM.  I JUSTIFIED IT THINKING "WELL, SHE CAN MORE (AND SHE DID) AT ANYTIME" AND MENTALLY MT GOOD DEEDS BALANCED OUT MY THEFT.
IN THE END SHE DIED AND I PRAYED SHE DID NOT HAVE TO SUFFER ANY MORE THAN SHE NEEDED TO BECAUSE OF ME AND MY STICKY FINGERS.  I HAD TO STOMACH THAT.  I REGRET IT BUT I HAVE LEARNED TO LET THINGS LIKE THAT GO.  REGRETSY KEEP YOU IN PAIN IF YOU CANNOT DROP THEM AND GO ON.  I STILL LOOK BACK AT SOME THINGS AND AM DISGUSTED BUT AS QUICK AS THOSE THOUGHTS COME I HAVE TO MOVE THEM OUT OF MY HEAD. OTHERWISE, I WOULD GO AFTER A HIGH WHERE THE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE ARE NO BIGGIE...BUT THEY ARE BIGGIES AND SUCH IS LIFE.  THAT IS WHY I RELY ON GOD.  I GIVE THOSE BURDENS TO HIM.    

SO, LANAS DO NOT KICK YOURSELF.  IT ONLY CAUSES MORE GRIEF.  YOU ARE TRYING AND THAT IS ALL YOU CAN DO.  THERE IS NO MAGIC PILL.  BUT TALKING ABOUT THIS THIS KIND OF STUFF AND REALIZING WE HAVE ALL PRETTY MUCH BLAZED THE SAME TRAIL MAKES LIFE A LITTLE EASIER.  WE ARE NOT JUST A LITTLE SNEAKY JUNKIES HIDING OUR BULLSHIT BEHIND A MASK.  WE ARE JUST ONE OF MANY WHOM GOD MADE WHO ARE TRYING TO GET BACK ON THE RIGHT OR BETTER HER PATH.
I HAVE TON OF "HITTING OTHERS' MED CABINET STORIES" ONCE OR TWICE I HIT THE JACKPOT.  HELL, IF I HAD FRIENDS OR CO-WORKERS WHO BROKE A BONE OR HAD SURGERY I WOULD VISIT THEM PROMPTLY AND WITHOUT ANT GUFF ASK THEM WHAT THEY WERE TAKING, PROCLAIM MY HEADACHE, GET SOME PILLS AND SOME FOR THE ROAD.  IF THEY WERE IN THE BATHROOM...WELL, I WOULD HELP MYSELF.  ALL STORIES SAD BUT TRUE. IT USED TO BE FUN AND FUNNY, LIKE A TREASURE HUNT OR SPY MISSION.  ALL OF THEM EXCEPT  FOR THE DEAR LADY THAT DIED OF CANCER.
GOD BLESS ALL!!!KEEP POSTING