day 11

[Mikeinthesouth]

Well I am at day 11 no opiates at all and I finally see a few changes such as this morning when I opened my eyes after a couple yes I said a couple yippee hours I did not wake to that horrible gloom I know so well. My extremeties are so damn heavy it is unreal I have never felt them this tired ever. I might go get some ephedrine to help with this tiredness I feel. I am clean today and here that is all I can really say. Am I happy about this half of me says yes the logical part of me the addict part of me says who am I kidding I can't beat the odds that are against me. I know though I can and will beat this crazy self destructive sickness and going to quit trying to beat the hell out of my body with drugs 100% clean. Mike

[puranx]

Mike its awesome, im telling ya man 4-5 more days and it will be night and day. I been running around like a mad man make up for lost time having a blast. Going out to parties, dinner, movies..man life is much nicer without a crutch. Your there man. Stay focused

[Mikeinthesouth]

no I perfectly understand bro nothing harch at all there. How are you today?? Have you bagan the subs or decided to go without? Mike

[Crispy]

dont take my comment the wrong way stuff always sounds diffrent in text just becasue theres no emotion in it.

[Crispy]

Shooting for days is a great goal mike it will help but dont ever forget what got you here. Its something we all have to fight everyday for the rest of our life. Im shooting for day 60 because thats when i slipped last time but I had recongizing outside factors that i knowly went back into pills. This time around I wont make that mistake again but Ill never let myself forget that i have a problem that time wont cure. But my efforts and actions against it can keep it a bay until i take my last breathe.

[Mikeinthesouth]

oh that described it perfectly.  WHen are we gonna see some of your writing?? I love to read philosophy poetry and the like. Mike

[poetrygirl1960]

MIke you're doing great.  Being as tenacious (sp?) as you are I really believe you are going to make it.  I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it.

I know that cruddy heavy feeling.  I ready an analogy of it in a book once that said it was as if you had left your body for a while and was weightless, then been socked back in to your body feeling as if it was a wet bathing suit 10 sizes too big.  

Congratulations on all you have done and for succeeding as you have!

~hugs~

[Mikeinthesouth]

Just want to add this I don't let my 13 year old read this as it should be but she will knock and come in and and see me minimizing the window and she will say you being mikeinthesouth again all goofy. She is funny I love her till death. SHe is so funny and a great lil girl. Just thought that was funny as it brought a smile to my face and reminds me of just one more great reason to be going through this. Mike

[Jacqui805]

Thou art not a loser indeed!  You can do it Mike..  : )  

[Mikeinthesouth]

yes I am glad as well even though it may not come across it in my writings I passed one my my days I was so scared to reach day ten as that is the day I gave in last time and I was thinking that it was going to beat me again. I did it and am striving now for day 14 the turning another hurdle and then we will see what happens as that will be uncharterd waters for me. I got a feeling a have a chance at staying clean. Okay I am not loser. I will keep my fingers crossed tightly. Mike

[sadinmichigan]

As jacqui said..damn glad mike..congrats..you are doing this..hard as it is..YOU ARE..yeah definately try to soak up some vitamin D in the sun..ttys...Lisa

[Firefaery1023]

Hang in there Mike you are doing good!! I know I have been clean for a month and I am feelijng great!!  I can sleep at night and get things done during the day.  Things are definately better.

[Jacqui805]

Glad you're still hangin' on Mike...damn glad.  I know the feelings you're describing, but I have to warn you off of the ephedrine.  Right now, believe it or not, your brain is hyperactive, and your blood pressure is likely to be higher than normal as well, not to mention your heart rate.  Besides not being so hot on the body, I have a strong feeling you'll likely regret the feeling it may leave you with earlier.  You gotta do what you gotta do though, just want you to be aware.  Try a jaunt in the sun if you can, instead.  Wishin' you the best Mike....Jacqui

[Crispy]

get some b12 vitamins instead of enph. it will last longer and will feel like stead energy not  a burst. Good job on day 11 mike i was wondering about you when i signed on this morning just glad your still on day 11 with me.

[Mikeinthesouth]

I am pulling for you and I am here to say that the horrible feelings of the first days are going to ease up a lil at a time just hang in there. Mike

[rue10]

Hi Mike,

I'm into my 2nd day with no percs.  I am sluggish, shakey inside,  crampy, cold, and foggy.  I'm sure I left some out.  I'm happy you have 11 days!  Good for you!!  Right now all I'm thinking about is a pill or two or three....and how shi**y I feel.