Aa
Having difficulties quitting opiates
I am a functioning addict: I have a full time job, a car , an apartment, and three beautiful children under the age of 6. My first two have a father who was addicted to heroin (snorting it ) but went to treatment- we were broken up about a year before he got help so when he was in rehab we were not together. I met another man who turned out to be another heroin addict (iv) and had a baby with him. He also ended up going to a long term treatment facility and is still there currently. First baby daddy is out now & realitivly clean but still dabbles with oxy here & there. 2nd baby daddy. & are still together but I feel insecure about our relationship. He's getting help and I'm out here alone w/ 3 kids and all the bills. I doubt his love for me sometimes, it's hard to have a relationship with someone you only see once a week. It feels like abandonment & every day is a struggle being in this situation.. My addiction has always been overlooked because it's low dose hydrocodone & oxycodone when compared to the kids daddy's who had major drug problems..i do like 2-4 hydrocodone per day or 15-45 mg of oxy... That being said I still suffer withdrawal when I stop and I find it difficult to cope with life without it so I know I have a problem. I have tried over & over to stop. NA, dosing down, cold turkey, cutting off connects.. Nothing works.. I always go back. It's a tough spot, if it was only me and I didn't have bills I would put myself in a 1 month rehab but I really don't have that option. I need advice on how to stop, I've been on this site before and really helped me to stop temporarily.
Don't give up just yet. We're all still here for you. You can do this, and you will get thru it. You might want to keep looking for a bigger apt or less expensive house, just so you dont make things harder on yourself. If you haven't signed papers yet maybe your current landlord will let you rent month to month until you're able to come upon the right place for you and your kids. Don't feel discouraged tho if you've passed the point of no return in the rental dept. Waitressing would be good for tips, and you can taper so you don't feel too awful all at once. Try to drop just 1/2 a tablet every everal days, and then plan a long weekend or have someone take the kids for you and get through the final jump. It's awful, but it will continue to get better. If you keep abusing the meds, it won't be a question of "if" it's going to get worse or harder, just a question of "when". Please don't feel like you need to disappear if you can't solve this today. Let this community help carry you to the place where you'll be ready to do this now and not so much later. Stay with us, okay? Sending big hugs. I know how hard it is to be a single mom trying to make it work. hang tough, but mostly, hang with us! all my strength to you for today....<3 Katya
That's too bad. Are you going to quit again. Don't wanna scare you but whatever job you get, paying for your new home: out the window if you keep using. Maybe not next week. But it will. I wouldn't worry about your boyfriend right now. Maybe you are focusing on him so you don't have to look at yourself. I wish you the best and hope you try again.
I'm so sorry I haven't posted .. I am in the process of renting a new house and will be moving in next month. Everyone is right, opiate addiction only gets worse as usage increases. I've kind of put myself in a bit of a hole now- in order to afford my house I need to dance on the side 2-3 times a week on top of my 40 hr a week day job and in order to dance I have to get high. I shouldn't have upgraded to a house from an apartment but I guess part of me wanted something more for me & my kids- the apartment was just too small for all of us and my lease was up. I think my way out of this is to get a different second job like maybe waiting tables.. But how will I go through opiate withdrawal when I have to work all the time ? Me and the father of my youngest son who is in long term treatment for heroin addiction got in a huge fight last night on the phone- it was horrible, he has f **ked me over so many times during the last 3 years we have been together, I have a lot of built up resentment toward him and suddenly it has all come to the surface - he has never had a job, put gas in my car, or paid a bill- he has always been getting high and living off of me- I don't know why I put up with it for so long- I did and still do love him but I need him to prove that he can be a good man- I don't trust him at all. He talks about how he wants to leave treatment early so he can "come out and help". I think if he leaves early, chances are he will use again and things will be even worse than they already are. I just really don't know what path I should take.. My situation is hard , but I know I will work as hard as possible to provide a good life for me & my children.
Honey,
There is NO way to get off these drugs without discomfort. You just have to grind through it. There are definitely things you can do to lessen it. A lot of folks go by the Thomas recipe. I did not...I talked to my doctor, almost every day for the first 4 days, and while it was no picnic, I'm here. Day 35.
The most important thing, honey, is not getting off them. It is like having a really bad stomach flu for a couple weeks. The problem is STAYING off them. You took them for a reason. That reason will still be there after you get clean. And it is going to GLARE at you..trust me!
I only took prescribed oxy, but man, what a weird feeling to have a headache and just have to say "Ok, I have a headache. I can take some Advil, lay down, put a cold cloth on my head...and THAT'S IT!" No more reaching for an oxy to make everything nice and smooth, and pain-free.
In AA they talk about how putting down the drink is the easy part. Staying that way is what is hard.
But...first things first. We're not supposed to give tapering advice here, but I'll tell you my story. I tapered down to 10 mgs a day. I thought that would make my "jump" easier. It didn't. I was VERY sick for the first 7-10 days. The first 4 I couldn't get out of bed except to use the bathroom, which was every 10 minutes. Again, it helps if you treat yourself like you have a bad bug. You know the route: ginger ale, sips of broth, crackers. I actually couldn't eat any solid foods for the first week; I lost over 10 pounds (I was also pee'ing like crazy.)
When you decide to do this, please set up some after-care for yourself. Go to NA or AA, or Smart Recovery. Otherwise, all the pain and misery of getting clean will be at risk.
Good luck honey. Post here often.
-R.
There is NO way to get off these drugs without discomfort. You just have to grind through it. There are definitely things you can do to lessen it. A lot of folks go by the Thomas recipe. I did not...I talked to my doctor, almost every day for the first 4 days, and while it was no picnic, I'm here. Day 35.
The most important thing, honey, is not getting off them. It is like having a really bad stomach flu for a couple weeks. The problem is STAYING off them. You took them for a reason. That reason will still be there after you get clean. And it is going to GLARE at you..trust me!
I only took prescribed oxy, but man, what a weird feeling to have a headache and just have to say "Ok, I have a headache. I can take some Advil, lay down, put a cold cloth on my head...and THAT'S IT!" No more reaching for an oxy to make everything nice and smooth, and pain-free.
In AA they talk about how putting down the drink is the easy part. Staying that way is what is hard.
But...first things first. We're not supposed to give tapering advice here, but I'll tell you my story. I tapered down to 10 mgs a day. I thought that would make my "jump" easier. It didn't. I was VERY sick for the first 7-10 days. The first 4 I couldn't get out of bed except to use the bathroom, which was every 10 minutes. Again, it helps if you treat yourself like you have a bad bug. You know the route: ginger ale, sips of broth, crackers. I actually couldn't eat any solid foods for the first week; I lost over 10 pounds (I was also pee'ing like crazy.)
When you decide to do this, please set up some after-care for yourself. Go to NA or AA, or Smart Recovery. Otherwise, all the pain and misery of getting clean will be at risk.
Good luck honey. Post here often.
-R.
You can dose down and lessen the withdrawals. As far as dose you said ten pills so I'm assuming that's 100mg of oxy per day? Tapering down to 30-50mgs will make a difference if you want to go that route. I'd just jump and get it over with, but I don't know your situation. To taper, drop a small amount and sit there for a week +/- some days until you feel stable then rinse repeat until you get to where you feel you want off. Tapering is rather tough mentally unless someone can dole your doses out also I must mention (why I prefer C/T myself).
Second the suboxone advice. Sub's are harder to come off than semi-synthetic opiates because they are fully synthetic and have twice the half life i.e Withdrawal lasts a lot longer, not to mention the w/d's from the long taper they require. Heroin is easier to come off... Also they aren't euphoric.
Second the suboxone advice. Sub's are harder to come off than semi-synthetic opiates because they are fully synthetic and have twice the half life i.e Withdrawal lasts a lot longer, not to mention the w/d's from the long taper they require. Heroin is easier to come off... Also they aren't euphoric.
Hey, Bianca!! Glad you are posting. No no no...no suboxone!!!! So many folks I know on here and in the "real" world have been on it, and have said it's worse than coming off hydro or oxy. You, like everyone else, is terrified of withdrawl. There is no way to avoid it. Sorry. We've all had to go thru it and we are here to talk about it!
The sooner you do this, the sooner it will be over. This only get worse and worse. Get everything on the Thomas recipe and start! Post here as often as you want, all hours. Okay?
The sooner you do this, the sooner it will be over. This only get worse and worse. Get everything on the Thomas recipe and start! Post here as often as you want, all hours. Okay?
Today I feel very ready to stop. The high is just maintaining now, it's not really fun anymore ...
Should I go the suboxone route?
Or start dosing down?
I don't want to go through withdrawal, is there a way I can dose down painlessly? I'm tired of this merry go round- please give me your best suggestions. Thank you!
Should I go the suboxone route?
Or start dosing down?
I don't want to go through withdrawal, is there a way I can dose down painlessly? I'm tired of this merry go round- please give me your best suggestions. Thank you!
Today I feel very ready to stop. The high is just maintaining now, it's not really fun anymore ...
Should I go the suboxone route?
Or start dosing down?
I don't want to go through withdrawal, is there a way I can dose down painlessly? I'm tired of this merry go round- please give me your best suggestions. Thank you!
Should I go the suboxone route?
Or start dosing down?
I don't want to go through withdrawal, is there a way I can dose down painlessly? I'm tired of this merry go round- please give me your best suggestions. Thank you!
i too was a functioning addict for 15 years no one knew i was using opiates and i have a great job I'm a nurse (thats when it all started) own my own home have a good marriage never been arrested but i just was spending way too much money as time went on i needed more and more and that too will happen to you i promise it may take a while but it will you already got behind in your bills it only goes down from there and you dont want that you have babies that need their mom and i dont judge nobody but the dancing environment thats not good for recovery you won't be successful and i understand you need that money fast but you have to do all you can do to stop or you will loose everything including your life possibly trust!! you will be in my thoughts and prayers girl best of luck to you
Probably everyone here knows where your coming from cause we all are there or been there. That's why its a great site, keep coming back
My heart goes out to you OP because I know exactly that pull to use especially since you're functioning - I have been a functioning addict on Tramadol for about three years and NO ONE knew.
It's only now where I'm four days off the pills and I literally feel like crap that I'm warring in my head between wanting the pills and staying clean. But I've made it this far and I need to get clean. Once you make that resolution within you you will find the strength to quit.
It's only now where I'm four days off the pills and I literally feel like crap that I'm warring in my head between wanting the pills and staying clean. But I've made it this far and I need to get clean. Once you make that resolution within you you will find the strength to quit.
Call in sick. Ask for help from anyone you can trust with the kids.
Your life is at risk. You're worth it. Your kids need you.
I normally only lurk here, but I promise you that the wonderful people here will help walk you through it.
Your post had dropped down a couple of pages so you hadn't gotten the normal attention it would here.
I came out of my standard "read only" mode to bump it to the top. I care. You can do this.
Your life is at risk. You're worth it. Your kids need you.
I normally only lurk here, but I promise you that the wonderful people here will help walk you through it.
Your post had dropped down a couple of pages so you hadn't gotten the normal attention it would here.
I came out of my standard "read only" mode to bump it to the top. I care. You can do this.
Also, I work at a sales company where everyone drinks and some take prescription drugs. One guy who has worked there for 4 years actually just uses our job as a cover- he sells weed from Colorado and gets oxy twice a month. It's hard to say no when I know I can get it easily from him.. I know that I need to quit though.. Not only for me and my sweet innocent babies but my man in rehab who is actually excelling and doing really well.. I want to be clean when he gets out.. I love him and I want us to be a happy sober family that does normal family things.. I have dreams of opening up my own business , owning a home, and being able to take the kids to Disneyland. I know I can't have any of these things with drugs - low dose or high.. I can't complete my goals effectively or change my situation if I'm taking opiates.. Like I said previously though I just feel kind of stuck.. Is it as easy as just making the decision to stop ? How will i deal with not only withdrawal w/ a full time job & 3 kids but once that's over how will i deal with my stress, lack of energy to clean the house after working a long exhausting day, sadness & loneliness from missing my fiancé.. It's just really really hard guys! I hope you understand where I'm coming from!
I'm overwhelmed by the responses, thank you so much to all of you for the support. I actually had to dance at a strip club this past Saturday to make rent.. I hadn't danced in almost two years.. I realize that although I may have been "seemingly functioning" that obviously I'm not because I got behind on bills and had to go do that. You do what you gotta do- but I know that if I hadn't been spending money on pills and was sober id be caught up on everything. I made good money up at the club but was high the whole time- honestly. Drugs bring bad things into your life- I know this .. I know the repercussions yet it hasn't inspired me to quit long term because I've never lost a job, car, home- I've always been able to just barely keep my head above water. Now I feel drawn back in to dancing... I made $400 in one night, I'm thinking let me dance next Saturday and make $500 and get ahead. But I know this will perpetuate the cycle and my addiction will get worse like all of you have said.. Just honestly don't know what to do in my current situation.. It feels like me against the world sometimes, struggling and wishing I could just have a break from responsibility & bills so I can recover.. But that's not my reality..
BiancaJade???? It's been 3 days since you posted.....how 'bout checkin back in and letting us know how you're doing?
My daughters father started me on Norcos.
I too, totally functioning addict.
I can say, today is 16 days clean from 10 pills plus a day for two years.
If you can or insured, do a raid detox.
Helped me a lot.
I still have cravings, want to play my own doctor and excuse taking "just one".
Feeling ok, pretty good after day 12.... Takes a serious desire to stop.
It's uncomfortable but not painful.
Then ask yourself... "Are you better than them?" "Will you be the mom your children can trust & admire?"
If you take the pills, you are no better than your exes... Don't fool yourself.
And, you sound like you are a very good woman so own it. Do right by your kids.
My daughters father shot heroin and I had him arrested. Twice! No child support ***** but I saved his life!!
And, I have a 2yo by him and a 13 yo...
You can't let drug addicts in your home regardless if they only harm themselves.
Don't make your kids suffer. They know.
We can't fool them.
I was there. I don't judge, I understand.
And, I want to help others as I struggle to help myself right now.
My 2-3 a day turned to close to 12 pills a day. Life gets stressful and we medicate.
I've been up since 2am with insomnia as a WD symptom and it's nearly 6am.... Girl, this isn't easy!
Give yourself a new chance at life!
I too, totally functioning addict.
I can say, today is 16 days clean from 10 pills plus a day for two years.
If you can or insured, do a raid detox.
Helped me a lot.
I still have cravings, want to play my own doctor and excuse taking "just one".
Feeling ok, pretty good after day 12.... Takes a serious desire to stop.
It's uncomfortable but not painful.
Then ask yourself... "Are you better than them?" "Will you be the mom your children can trust & admire?"
If you take the pills, you are no better than your exes... Don't fool yourself.
And, you sound like you are a very good woman so own it. Do right by your kids.
My daughters father shot heroin and I had him arrested. Twice! No child support ***** but I saved his life!!
And, I have a 2yo by him and a 13 yo...
You can't let drug addicts in your home regardless if they only harm themselves.
Don't make your kids suffer. They know.
We can't fool them.
I was there. I don't judge, I understand.
And, I want to help others as I struggle to help myself right now.
My 2-3 a day turned to close to 12 pills a day. Life gets stressful and we medicate.
I've been up since 2am with insomnia as a WD symptom and it's nearly 6am.... Girl, this isn't easy!
Give yourself a new chance at life!
Hi well it is good your recanize the problem keep going to N/A meeting and get a sponcer and work the steps getting off opites is hard but it can be done you just have to bit the bullet there is no ez way out the problem is your still a addict even after the pills stop this is where the 12 steps come in it will give you structure something most addicts dont have it helps to talk about it in the meetings I know I would go back out if I dident go so it is 4 meetings a week but it is a cheep price to pay for being clean keep posting for support....Gnarly
Ok Bisnca please ignore what I said right above. I totally misread.
You can do this. You can. So many have been there. We have. We will help you.
You can do this. You can. So many have been there. We have. We will help you.
Please come back, OP. We do care about you. You might get some brutally honest advice here, but it is in your best interest. I am only a month clean, but I couldn't do it without my MedHelp family. I am a mom, too. I have twins. I am going through legal issues right now because of my use, and I am terrified of losing my babies. I do NOT want to see you dealing with the same things because you don't make the right choices. I don't with this on any mother in the world. We need to be our best for our littles. You can do this, I promise. Time to put your recovery first.
One question - your last sentence is asking how to quit temporarily.
Why stop temporarily? Is something going on?
Why not stop for good?
Why stop temporarily? Is something going on?
Why not stop for good?
You just have to really want it. I mean...deleting numbers and all that other stuff is ok I guess...but it wont mean nothing unless you really want it. I dont have any connect numbers in my phone...but I still know where they live. I cant erase that memory. The thing that keeps me from driving to their houses is the fact that I REALLY want to be clean....and you have to know that if something isn't working in your aftercare you need to try something different.
Its funny because a lot of people say they are functioning addicts until they quit and really realize they weren't functioning at all.
" I have tried over & over to stop. NA, dosing down, cold turkey, cutting off connects.. Nothing works.. I always go back."
Try something different then:
•Celebrate Recovery
• Women for Sobriety helps women overcome alcohol dependence through emotional and spiritual growth.
• Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons and Significant Others (JACS) helps people explore recovery in a nurturing Jewish environment.
• Self-Management and Recovery Training (SMART) is a cognitive–behavioral group approach that focuses on self-reliance, problem solving, coping strategies, and a balanced lifestyle.
• LifeRing Secular Recovery is a secular, non-profit organization providing peer-run addiction recovery groups for anyone with a desire to recover from alcohol and drug addiction or who are in a relationship with an addict or alcoholic
• Secular Organizations for Sobriety maintains that sobriety is a separate issue from religion or spirituality and credits the individual for achieving and maintaining sobriety.
• Community-based spiritual fellowships, which take place in churches, synagogues, mosques, temples, and other spiritually focused meeting sites, often form the basis for support, lifestyle change, and clarification of values in peoples’ lives.
• Recovery International is a mental health self-help organization founded in 1937 by neuropsychiatrist Abraham Low in Chicago, Illinois. Recovery's program is based on self-control, self-confidence, and increasing one's determination to act
Its funny because a lot of people say they are functioning addicts until they quit and really realize they weren't functioning at all.
" I have tried over & over to stop. NA, dosing down, cold turkey, cutting off connects.. Nothing works.. I always go back."
Try something different then:
•Celebrate Recovery
• Women for Sobriety helps women overcome alcohol dependence through emotional and spiritual growth.
• Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons and Significant Others (JACS) helps people explore recovery in a nurturing Jewish environment.
• Self-Management and Recovery Training (SMART) is a cognitive–behavioral group approach that focuses on self-reliance, problem solving, coping strategies, and a balanced lifestyle.
• LifeRing Secular Recovery is a secular, non-profit organization providing peer-run addiction recovery groups for anyone with a desire to recover from alcohol and drug addiction or who are in a relationship with an addict or alcoholic
• Secular Organizations for Sobriety maintains that sobriety is a separate issue from religion or spirituality and credits the individual for achieving and maintaining sobriety.
• Community-based spiritual fellowships, which take place in churches, synagogues, mosques, temples, and other spiritually focused meeting sites, often form the basis for support, lifestyle change, and clarification of values in peoples’ lives.
• Recovery International is a mental health self-help organization founded in 1937 by neuropsychiatrist Abraham Low in Chicago, Illinois. Recovery's program is based on self-control, self-confidence, and increasing one's determination to act
What can I say to you that you do not already know? You're young. Quit now...trust an older woman. I'm 52; I took opiates for 8 years, and quitting is harder as you get older.
You have to WANT this. You have to think hard about your kids and their future.
No one can do this but you. All the meetings, tapers, advice, etc .won't do any good if you're heart isn't in it. Decide here and now that your love for those 3 kids is stronger than your desire for the pills.
That's the best I can offer you for now...I'm hurting myself 28 days clean.
I'll say a prayer for you, sweetie. Write back.
You have to WANT this. You have to think hard about your kids and their future.
No one can do this but you. All the meetings, tapers, advice, etc .won't do any good if you're heart isn't in it. Decide here and now that your love for those 3 kids is stronger than your desire for the pills.
That's the best I can offer you for now...I'm hurting myself 28 days clean.
I'll say a prayer for you, sweetie. Write back.
Welcome back....the cycle continues, eh?
After 5 yrs, (read your old posts) it sounds like you may be getting sick and tired of this cycle, huh? It is PROGRESSIVE...there's no way out but to get off the merry-go-round.
We all started with low doses.....we all were functioning addicts...until we weren't. It's our way of justifying our using.
If you're really ready to get off this ride.....eliminating all contact with ANYONE who uses or sells is CRITICAL. Associating only with those who don't do drugs. Opening up to someone that will hold you accountable so you can't use in secret. Then.....lots of aftercare.
You're back after 3 months....so I hope you'll make some life changing decisions.....and keep posting for support. Again, welcome back~
After 5 yrs, (read your old posts) it sounds like you may be getting sick and tired of this cycle, huh? It is PROGRESSIVE...there's no way out but to get off the merry-go-round.
We all started with low doses.....we all were functioning addicts...until we weren't. It's our way of justifying our using.
If you're really ready to get off this ride.....eliminating all contact with ANYONE who uses or sells is CRITICAL. Associating only with those who don't do drugs. Opening up to someone that will hold you accountable so you can't use in secret. Then.....lots of aftercare.
You're back after 3 months....so I hope you'll make some life changing decisions.....and keep posting for support. Again, welcome back~
I just want to leave a quote that someone once said to me. It is so very true. "You can only be a functioning addict for so long." It will end. You have to stop before there are major repercussions. Honestly, I think you would only go through a bit of detox now. Stay here and keep posting.
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