why do we use drugs ,when we don't need them.

[hippy]

this question is a real tough question, for addicts.
im speaking about all the addicts who abuse drugs
. looking back i started useing to fit in
,peer presure, i found that drugs made me feel better, and took
away all my emotional pain, i knew i was doing something wrong
and drugs became a way of life, along with dishonesty,
and stealing, and dealing the whole life style.
and i started at age 13 and by the time i was 18
I HATED MYSELF AND THE WAY I LIVED AND THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO ABOUT IT. and that is why i used, i hated me.
when i did try to get clean ,i would get a couple weeks together
and then this obsession to use would come over me FROM MY HEAD TO MY TOES AND IT WOULD SAY TO ME, YOU CAN COME NOW OR YOU CAN COME LATER ON TONIGHT BUT WE ARE DEFINITELY USEING.
AND I ALWAYS USED.
AFTER A NUMBER OF YEARS USEING DRUGS BECAME LESS AND LESS OF AN ESCAPE, it was no longer about getting high but about just getting ok ,so i could make  through the day or the job.
the more i used the more i hated my self, it was a vicious
cycle.
the only way out  was totol abstinence,andto learn  how to grow up, i think most addicts stay at the age of 16 untill they make
a concience effort to change.

just some thoughts, hippy

[PimpShit]

Thanks, it does make me feel a hell of alot better knowning that people are willing to listen, and that other people go through this everyday also.

[dreamin]

sorry I can't bring myself to call you that.  You have made a start.  It all starts with just one step. you have done that.  Anyone who has been there knows the hell you are going through.  we have all been there.  Unfortunately, there are no easy answers and the more answers you get the more questions it creates.  Keep posting here, the people here will help you, trust me on that....

[PimpShit]

Well i think this me being " fake " is pretty much over with. Me and jess exchanged a few emails. I didnt really think i'd have to come here and prove myself to anyone.. I just wanted somone to listen to me is all... I do understand that i need to get some sort of help. I just dont know how to go about it the right and best way. I am worried that they will just blow me off.. Maybe thats silly to think that? I dont know.. I dont want to be looked at as some kid that just gets " high " Because thats very far from the truth.. I dont take drugs for the high...This is the first real time ive actually talked about this to anyone, other than to myself in my own mind. YEah my girlfriend knows.. But she doesnt really understand how this feels.. how sick i feel all the time.. She doesnt understand that you CAN be dependent on something... And to a earlier post... No I dont drink.. i dont mix any drugs.. i dont snort anything up my nose.. i dont smoke weed. I seen somone say people fake suicide and such on here. I dont believe that was mentioned in my post at all.. because i have never thought about suicide. Thank you dreamin for your post.

[FesterTool]

Hey everybody. How is everybody doing? Its 8:36am here, and I am so tired. I want to go back to bed but I slept like all day yesterday. I was getting these terrible headaches. But all I took was aleve, so I am still going.(13) Why do I not like this number??? Maybe it is just me? I saw the topic question. For me, I would start out wanting a buzz. The usual. After the second day of staying up though, I would do it to stay up. I knew I had to. (Yeah!) Well, I would buy more, and stay up. The buzz was not really as much of an issue anymore. The hallucionations from psycosis maybe, I nicknamed "The Shadow People" Were always there. Oh well. It's over now.
Everybody stay cool,
festertool

[Chezz]

Good Morning Shiela!!!
Nice to see you here on my 1st morning back. I posted yesterday what has been going on. I will send you something later when I get a chance. I am trying to catch up on what has been happening.
I hope everything is going well with you!!! ;)
Chezz

I keep posting in the meantime so I haven't got much reading done since everyone else woke up! ;)

[dreamin]

hi everyone, I have been absent for a while, but i have been reading when I had the chance..I am doing ok, had a work-busy week..but doin ok..

I have to comment on the letter from pimp**** , wow..jess, no offense, but are you absolutely sure of your accusations, if someone comes here and post for the first time, in the off chance he is who he says he is, weren't you kind of harsh?  I probably have no right to throw in my two cents, but ..ouch

pimp**** - I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you..you are in some real trouble, you need to seek professional help, just call NA or AA, and talk, start talking..


sheila