What to do.....

[Will390]

I have a new friend who I met a few months ago. She's very nice but she drinks - usually not to excess. I now have 67 months TODAY clean and sober. Well I got home from work today (12 hour shift) and she was visiting with my roommate - drunkest I've ever seen her...slurring her words and trying to be all lovey. My roommate was pissed too because he has over seven years sobriety, but didn't want to send her out on the road. I cleaned up and as I came back into the living room, she was insisting that she wanted to drive home. She had her keys in her purse so I couldn't take them and she had seemed to be a bit more sober (roommate took her 22 oz. beer from her about an hour before). She made it home but now I want to nip this problem in the bud. I want to tell her not to come over like that again but I don't have much experience "counseling" other alcoholics. I don't want to lose her friendship, but then I don't need that around me either. Alcohol was my primary substance of choice leading to pharmaceuticals including Valium and Oxycontin.

What do I say to her next time I speak to her (when she's sober)? Do I just firmly say "Never come over like that again", or do I just sit down with her and try to be a friend with ecouragement to taper off her drinking? Any suggestions?...

[cathy5841]

congrats on your sobriety that is plain awesome.  but with that behind you do you really even want that kind of relationship with a girl who 1) does not heve enough respect for you not to drink around you or when she will be around you at all and 2) do you wan to deal with all the problems that come with drinking...you for sure know what those are.  sorry was not trying to offend you just open your eyes lol

[toxictome]

WOW!!    CONGRATS on over 5 1/2 yrs. sober....that is quite an accomplishment!

I would work on telling her how it affects you...the thing with drunks is....they lose the good judgement after that first drink.....been there,done that....

this is probably a preview of what is in store if you choose to have her stick around.....follow that gut instinct..it will do you right...every time!!

Keep posting!!!

[Will390]

I know several female truck drivers and delivery/couriers, so I don't necessarily agree with you there, lol. However, you are correct about the "shame on me" because I could have done more to keep her from driving. Like I said though, I'm not the greatest at counseling drunks because I know how I used to be. You couldn't tell me anything and damn you if you tried...I will make it a priority and goal to work on this character weakness and be more proactive when it comes to preventing drunken driving. Thank you for your input.

Will

[sterling_silver]

I did not know you can taper off alcohol.Never heard of that as a solution to quit drinking. All you can do is explain her drinking problem to her. Invite her to a meeting. Maybe give her the big book. She will get the message.

[NautyOne]

Wow!!!!!  Being 67 months clean......you should know better than to let a drunk girl drive.  We can't even drive when we're sober.  Shame on you !!

[newmanagment]

bro, just tell her the truth.. tell her that you cant be around her when she is drinkin to excess! tell her your problem, and explain your feelings. she shouldnt be mad atcha, and if she is a true friend she will understand!! props to you and ur boy for staying sober , ya are an inspiration . so jus tell her like it is, nicely, and tell her ya care and dont want to lose her... good luck

[worried878]

I just dont think I would ever show up at someone's house that did not drink when I was drunk....drinking problem or no drinking problem....doesnt show good judgement on her part...may would question what type of friendship I wanted with her...your main goal is too stay clean and sober....sounds like you have a good job at that

[GoingToMakeIt]

I assume she knows of your past, Yes? If not she needs to know. You need to tell her that this behavior is not acceptable. It affects you too much, besides not being healthy.
Yes, she needs to know that she is not welcome if she is like that. You need to decide if you even want to ever be around her in a relationship. 67 months is incredible, but you are vulnerable if you loved one drinks.

[road2recovery]

wow, i think only when she is sober, to explain to her your situation , and that you care about her friendship, but that she can't go over like that again.....I would not talk to her now about tapering her drinking, that is her choice, but that you want no part in that, or being around that...
good luck
congrats on that long sober and clean---Dang i hope i can say that one day!!
r2r