Am I an Addict?

[Ilov3mylif3]

Help me out here!!!
I am planning on detoxing soon (see other post, "1st time veteran") and I want to know more about NA meetings. I've gone to plenty of AA meetings with my dad (I was a kid) and I have a problem with getting up and saying "Hi my name is _______and I'm an Addict" because although I am physically addicted, I dont do illegal things to get more, I take less than the prescribed amount (so that I can sell what is leftover and buy my medicinal marijuana), but I WOULD take more if given more. The dose I take now is to function normally, and when I have breakthrough pain I end up taking my full reccommended dose. Am I just bullshitting myself?? Am I an addict just like any other addict? I guess it doesnt matter, but in the end it does matter to me, in my head, in my pride. I just quit smoking cigarrettes and I will fully admit I was CERTAINLY addicted to those. But there is not one point in my life I could think of that I would want to admit that I was going to smoke forever, and I HATE quitting so I figured better now than later. I also cant afford $8+ a pack for cigs. I know I need to see a therapist for all of my issues (I think everyone needs someone to talk to) and I have an upcoming appointment but not for two weeks. I dont want to tell my Dr about detoxing though so that I can have some extra cash on hand every month after I get the refill. (I wont be controlling those pills, my hubby will)
Please, Am I bullshitting myself? Am I an addict, plain and simple?
Are NA meetings for people like me? Will they help?

PLEASE respond. No one to talk to..... my husband quit every hard drug he has ever done in his life cold turkey and I feel like he doesnt understand the hell of the withdrawls that I get

[Ilov3mylif3]

Update- I am now being treated for bipolar disorder and control my medications well. I do lean towards addiction but have been medicating to control the depressive episodes. On my good days, my back does better and I can go without pain meds. On the worse days when the pain gets bad, I can take them and be fine. Someday I will not need them at all with continued physical and mental therapy. Thank you all for the honest responses!

[Ilov3mylif3]

Thats what I thought as well.......
the more I think about it the more I wonder if my behaviors are only so controlled because I dont want everyone ELSE to think Im an addict.
My dad was an addict. Really bad, but rather controlled on the "outside".
Reminds me of me actually. Thank you, I never ever want to be like that. I really never even thought of it till now.

[hangetsu]

"I dont do illegal things to get more, I take less than the prescribed amount (so that I can sell what is leftover and buy my medicinal marijuana)"

You pride yourself in not doing anything illegal to get pills but admit to selling them? You don't mind admitting you deal drugs but don't want to be labeled an addict.

Interesting.

[weaver71]

Get a copy of the NA book and read "The Doctors Opinion" and see if it applies to you. If any of it applies read through chapter 3. If you aren't an addict, you will be if you continue to use.

[kyle505]

Not sure, and really not sure if we can answer the question. I can only offer a personal opinion... As an addict I do not have the control that you write about. I NEVER used as my doc recommended. But, the longer you use, the more likely you will be to become dependent on the pills. The next step is addiction. I'm not a medical pro - just an addict.

[mary577]

"Am I bullshitting myself? "

Well since you asked............sounds like it to me.

[IBKleen]

Hi,

Addiction is not about the type of drugs or about how much you take. It IS about the behavior. Your behavior suggests addiction but only you can answer the question.

Here is the link to meetings in your area:

http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/

I hope it all works out for you. Let us know how you are doing.