I am a piece of crap

[speciality]

Ok, I have been doing well, taking my meds ONLY as prescribed. I was down from 8 pills a day from 15 or maybe more. Today, I metered out  my pills as usual 8 in my little porcelain cup. Everything is fine. I take a dose at 4:445am when I get up (2 pills per dose) another at 12:30pm  (so far so good)  at 2:30pm I take another one as I had to go get dog food, get in my truck ect. I figured if I took one it would not be so much pain. Long story short, I lost control of my leg in wal mart, and could hardly walk.  Imade it to the truck in tears, UGHHHH I got home ( I live alone and have no help at all) I carried in the food and dog food the pain was horrific ( I am being honest here) I took 2 more (not before really thinking about it. I have screwed up my plan, and feel badly. I can eitehr cut to 6 tomorrow, and finish today as planned OR I can just hang in all night until tomorrow on one pill. Any suggestions, Oh and by the way my back is burning right now, so the meds barely touched it. Thanks Guys!

[Rose703]

You're not a piece of ****!!! You were in pain and you responded the same way that most people would. The important lesson in what happened is that now you know that taking these pain pills really aren't even helping. I know how hard it is to live with pain without narcotics, but in the end, it's just not worth even taking.

[worried878]

It is hard when u r by yourself...i live alone and quit alone...then other times it may be a blessing during all of this to be by myself...who knows?  you are moving forward and towards your goal...do not get frustrated during tapering as it is an easy thing to do...it is so tempting and we just have to the best we can with our situation...and u r doing good....please pm me if you need any support

[speciality]

I am trying, and I KNOW I did not take them to get high or to feel good. It was excrutiating pain

[worried878]

Tapering was a rude and humiliating experience for me..it is tough..try to stick to your plan and do the best you can...and i do know what you mean as everything starts hurting when u try to put those puppies down...i feel the same pain level or perhaps less now that I am off of them and alot less stress....do not beat yourself up...just try the best you can to stay on track and quit..you have already gotten your dose down significantly...u r doing very good in reality...from 15 to 8 is an accomplishment!

[thisissohard]

PS- don't call yourself a piece of ****.  You're not. Please don't let the guilt break you. You will only continue to use if you allow yourself feel that way. You need to REALLY love yourself right now, no matter what.

[thisissohard]

I don't know if this helps you, but I have been through the horrific pain, and the medication no longer working, and feeling at a complete loss.  Since I have been off, I have realized that dosing down, or quitting meds, or waiting to long between dosages will cause severe pain, that would NOT be there if you weren't on medication. I know that it's hard to accept, understand, but these medications actually cause pain when you're not on them.  Eventually it goes away as your body adjusts.  Just know that the pain your feeling is not completely a result of your injury, and it's the lack of medication. (it could be, I'm guessing based on my own experience, I dont know your injury or situation, so I can only generalize)

[Missy31]

Yes I agree with Cathy if they aren't really helping then stick with your plan you will be glad when you wake tomorrow and know that you did, thats an accomplishment you can be proud of!

[cathy5841]

since the meds didnt really help anyway stick to your plan.  dont mess up for something that is not working anyway.  good luck
cathy