Aa
failure
So after 9 moths and 14 days of sobriety I gave in and drank. I surprised myself having only 3 beers since they were free. I know I should feel disappointed and what not but I honestly feel relieved. Almost like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders from having to restrict myself for so long. Why don't I feel bad? Oh, and some background on me, I'm 20, been an alcoholic for 4 years drinking either 1/2 a fifth of vodka or a 30 of beer every night. I don't understand why after months of trying to quit and then finally managed, I don't feel anything but relieved? Normal?
So what do you say Monique? Do you still choose death over sobriety? You think drinking is a slow form of suiside but know this..it might not be as slow as you think.
I'm 39 living with end stage cirrhosis.
I'm 39 living with end stage cirrhosis.
COMMUNITY LEADER
It seems to be the marker of this affliction that many come on and post when their in a state of discombobulation...ask for advice....get good advice...a simple program for complicated ppl...not heed it...then come on again posting when their intoxicated or when their drinking is making them miserable.All of us here who are sober/clean heeded advice and did the emotional/mental homework to remain that way.It is possible for anyone to achieve recovery if they will put as much energy in2 that recovery as they did w/their drinking/drug use!
You consider what you just stated to be complex? ha! This is what drinking and 20 years of prozac does to a person. Please re-read with a sober frame of mind! Drinking and prozac is hardly a way to deal with the complications of life! If you hate your life so bad that you really feel you need these things then please consider changing it! Drunk & Drugged my friend will fix nothing.
Be better than all of this, you are 58 will you continue your whole life needing these crutches or strive to stand on your own someday and be proud of your life and who you are. I know it may seem hard now but you can get there Monique! I wish you the best!
Be better than all of this, you are 58 will you continue your whole life needing these crutches or strive to stand on your own someday and be proud of your life and who you are. I know it may seem hard now but you can get there Monique! I wish you the best!
i am currently drunk searching for greater meaning in life. I feel all of us who continue to drink are in search of a slow form of suicide. In the daily mundane existance of life we hunger for greater meaning from the daily ritual of life. My mind is at ease with the consumtion of alcohol to quite the restless beast. To give it up is to die. I continue to search to connect with another complex mind. Are there anyone who is out there?
Cici,
Although we all have different opinions we all share two things. We really want to help and we all care about you! I know you were forced into this detox and I understand why you didn't like it, but because your strong and smart you have taken it upon yourself to come find this group and get the support you needed. I am always hoping the best for you :)
Randy
p.s. If you keep drinking it will make you fat! ha ha
Although we all have different opinions we all share two things. We really want to help and we all care about you! I know you were forced into this detox and I understand why you didn't like it, but because your strong and smart you have taken it upon yourself to come find this group and get the support you needed. I am always hoping the best for you :)
Randy
p.s. If you keep drinking it will make you fat! ha ha
Thank you so much to everyone who has posted to help me out with some great advice. I really appreciate it and its definitely helping me out to stay sober.
I was told early on that the idea that I could somehow manage to drink succesfully again had to be smashed. So far today the idea is still smashed. When I look back at my drinking history I can plainly see the effects alcohol had on my life. Sure there were fun times. In the end however I couldn't stop and almost lost everything. I was a slave to my addiction. Life wasn't fun. Alcohol kicked my butt.
When it came time to get sober I found myself easily surrendering. I had hit my bottom and sincerely wanted to change. Although I had physical cravings the desire to use was gone.
Every now and again I get the urge to drink or drug. When it has hit I've been blessed with the ability to get to a mtg or make a call. I didn't have to drink. I did what I was told to do.
Every day when I wake up I decide to be sober and to do what is necessary to stay that way. It usually involves some step work, a mtg and helping another drunk.
I don't know that I could live happily without having accepted my alcoholism and all it s consequences, but then again it's not about me. Today it is about living a life that God would have me live.
I sincerely hope that you both find it within yourselves to be able to make a Good decision. Being beaten by our addictions can be very painful. Not everyone lives through it.
God Bless!!!
When it came time to get sober I found myself easily surrendering. I had hit my bottom and sincerely wanted to change. Although I had physical cravings the desire to use was gone.
Every now and again I get the urge to drink or drug. When it has hit I've been blessed with the ability to get to a mtg or make a call. I didn't have to drink. I did what I was told to do.
Every day when I wake up I decide to be sober and to do what is necessary to stay that way. It usually involves some step work, a mtg and helping another drunk.
I don't know that I could live happily without having accepted my alcoholism and all it s consequences, but then again it's not about me. Today it is about living a life that God would have me live.
I sincerely hope that you both find it within yourselves to be able to make a Good decision. Being beaten by our addictions can be very painful. Not everyone lives through it.
God Bless!!!
You have it in you to stay sober and really live.....Think about what we have said okay? Keep posting~~sara
I was forced into it after I got in a car accident and got my 3rd owi (one was an O2 violation so I was only charged with a 2nd owi. And since I was underage I was court ordered rehab and my p.o made it apart of my probation that I can't drink. I like being sober I do, I'm not getting into trouble anymore and its just a good feeling. I just need to dig deep and find the strength to not drink.
You have to take responsibility for your actions and joining a support group is a great way to get there.
You have to want to stay sober in order to get there and stay there. The fact that you were forced into sobriety is troubling to me. I hope that you see the value of sobriety and have decided that it is the direction for you to go with your life. Getting sober is the easy poart - staying sober is the tough part of life.
Please have enough self love and self respect to stay sober. It will be a tough journey but it can be done if you are committted to a life of sobriety.
You have to want to stay sober in order to get there and stay there. The fact that you were forced into sobriety is troubling to me. I hope that you see the value of sobriety and have decided that it is the direction for you to go with your life. Getting sober is the easy poart - staying sober is the tough part of life.
Please have enough self love and self respect to stay sober. It will be a tough journey but it can be done if you are committted to a life of sobriety.
You last comment is very well thought out and appreciated. It might be a very good solution for Cici_xo. Although I feel I need to mention that in summary it is nothing more than a elaborate version of the advice Tab57 gave.
Also you should know that it is very possible to maintain self control through self discipline as an alcoholic. After being an alcoholic for twenty years I chose to quit without the help or support from Rehab, AA or medication but to use my self control to reach my objective. 461 days ago I quit and I will not drink again. AA, Rehab and medication are wonderful alterative way of quitting. Everyone is different but our goal is the same! Do what works for you.
Randy
Also you should know that it is very possible to maintain self control through self discipline as an alcoholic. After being an alcoholic for twenty years I chose to quit without the help or support from Rehab, AA or medication but to use my self control to reach my objective. 461 days ago I quit and I will not drink again. AA, Rehab and medication are wonderful alterative way of quitting. Everyone is different but our goal is the same! Do what works for you.
Randy
Thunderseed, wow I'm speechless to that comment it was very well put. I think a main reason why its so hard to stay sober right now is that I was forced into sobriety. I didn't chose it. I know why I shouldn't drink and I know I won't be able to control myself if I start but I also know that this *****.
The disease of alcoholism gives us many bad ideas, and no matter how many people tell you that you are playing with fire and bordering along one of those classic bad ideas, that realization still has to come within yourself.
No one said it was going to be easy.
And Tab57, as alcoholics we don't have self control, that self will is the big ticket that gets us into these messes.
Cici, if you want to recover, you have to accept your problem is unmanageable, you have to realize that there is no way in hell you could ever control it by yourself. You know they say at meetings, if you still can't grasp step one, and admit you are powerless over alcohol, then go back out and try to control your drinking, and you will see it is impossible.
Only then can recovery be found. You need to realize you are diseased, and accept it. Accept you are not like other people who do not have problems with alcohol.
Sometimes it takes us to reaching the bottom of a pit of despair in order to want to recover or even accept that recovery is better than not drinking - hitting rock bottom. I do not wish that upon anyone, but sometimes it is the only thing that helps us. Of course it is something you could do without hitting rock bottom again, you just need to do some self work. Get down to the real reasons why you are so afraid to recover, why you think the alcoholism is a comfortable and familiar escape right now.
Try and remember back to the bad consequences of your addiction. They also say, if you can't remember your last drunk, it probably wasn't the last. This just means, you have to see clearly the negative aspects that drinking gives you, if you don't, you are bound to go back out.
Taking a look at your routine in your last post, no wonder you feel you are setting yourself up for failure. You need support, it is important to join a group for your recovery being around a healthy environment and having a supportive fellowship, listening to the stories of other alcoholics, giving back and helping out other people, and sharing is all important to recovery, my personal favourite is the 12 steps, and you need to be doing self homework along your recovery which you can find at groups, with a sponsor, or with an addictions counsellor.
It may be hard to hear, but as addicts and alcoholics we know that we must not put ourselves in triggering situations - this means we have to stay away from our friends that drink, and we have to find a supportive community of fellowship and friendships. Your friends will not understand, and it is unhealthy for you being alienated from people who do. It is more unhealthy for you to constantly be around people who drink. No wonder your brain is chaotic right now.
You will not be able to resist drinking if you carry on this way. You need to find support.
It is a hard journey, but following these programs, and getting support has helped so many, it could also help you.
No one said it was going to be easy.
And Tab57, as alcoholics we don't have self control, that self will is the big ticket that gets us into these messes.
Cici, if you want to recover, you have to accept your problem is unmanageable, you have to realize that there is no way in hell you could ever control it by yourself. You know they say at meetings, if you still can't grasp step one, and admit you are powerless over alcohol, then go back out and try to control your drinking, and you will see it is impossible.
Only then can recovery be found. You need to realize you are diseased, and accept it. Accept you are not like other people who do not have problems with alcohol.
Sometimes it takes us to reaching the bottom of a pit of despair in order to want to recover or even accept that recovery is better than not drinking - hitting rock bottom. I do not wish that upon anyone, but sometimes it is the only thing that helps us. Of course it is something you could do without hitting rock bottom again, you just need to do some self work. Get down to the real reasons why you are so afraid to recover, why you think the alcoholism is a comfortable and familiar escape right now.
Try and remember back to the bad consequences of your addiction. They also say, if you can't remember your last drunk, it probably wasn't the last. This just means, you have to see clearly the negative aspects that drinking gives you, if you don't, you are bound to go back out.
Taking a look at your routine in your last post, no wonder you feel you are setting yourself up for failure. You need support, it is important to join a group for your recovery being around a healthy environment and having a supportive fellowship, listening to the stories of other alcoholics, giving back and helping out other people, and sharing is all important to recovery, my personal favourite is the 12 steps, and you need to be doing self homework along your recovery which you can find at groups, with a sponsor, or with an addictions counsellor.
It may be hard to hear, but as addicts and alcoholics we know that we must not put ourselves in triggering situations - this means we have to stay away from our friends that drink, and we have to find a supportive community of fellowship and friendships. Your friends will not understand, and it is unhealthy for you being alienated from people who do. It is more unhealthy for you to constantly be around people who drink. No wonder your brain is chaotic right now.
You will not be able to resist drinking if you carry on this way. You need to find support.
It is a hard journey, but following these programs, and getting support has helped so many, it could also help you.
Sarah, I did not have any after care. Once I was done I was done there.
Also, I am not part of any group, I've been talking to my friends but they're not much help since they drink. I think I'm gonna be able resist drinking, I hope anyway.
Also, I am not part of any group, I've been talking to my friends but they're not much help since they drink. I think I'm gonna be able resist drinking, I hope anyway.
Please exercise as much self control as possible now that you aree approaching the legal drinking age.
Are you a member of a support group at the present time? If not please consider joining one so you can be there for others and they can be there for you. In addition you will feel accountable to these people if you should begin drinking again. This fact should help you exhibit self control more often then if you were not accountabe to anyone else but yourself for your life choices.
Best of luck to you.
Are you a member of a support group at the present time? If not please consider joining one so you can be there for others and they can be there for you. In addition you will feel accountable to these people if you should begin drinking again. This fact should help you exhibit self control more often then if you were not accountabe to anyone else but yourself for your life choices.
Best of luck to you.
Wow, I'm sorry to hear about that randy. Well on a bright side, I haven't drank since saturday, so I'm now just hoping I will be able to keep it that way. It's not getting easier as time goes on its getting harder just minus the legal issues and other stuff. I'm excited for my 21st bday, but also terrified that since ill officially be able to buy my own alcohol that I will.
Wow! 20 years old and already have 4 years of this under your belt. I wonder how old will you be when you find out? I thought I had everyone else beat since I was an alcoholic from the age of 18 and not wasting any time that by the time I turned 38 I was diagnosed with End Stage (C) Cirrhosis. Guess what end stage means?
Ya dont really hear of a whole lot of people being diagnosed this young. You said you were up to a 30 pkg. I can't say that i out drank you then since I did 23 beers a day spending $600 a month. I got you beat on the Vodka though since I could drink a half gallon in two days.
Ask yourself, is this a race you really want to win?! I sure hope you find better goals!
Diagnosed 03/23/10
Randy
Ya dont really hear of a whole lot of people being diagnosed this young. You said you were up to a 30 pkg. I can't say that i out drank you then since I did 23 beers a day spending $600 a month. I got you beat on the Vodka though since I could drink a half gallon in two days.
Ask yourself, is this a race you really want to win?! I sure hope you find better goals!
Diagnosed 03/23/10
Randy
When your addict brain takes over i am sure you do feel relieved. You both have justified in your mind that this is okay behavior. Relapse starts long before you pick up. As for thinking you have control right now? Your only kidding yourself. Hopefully you both make it out of this alive~~sara
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Alcoholism Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
