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Cancer Phobia!
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Cancer Phobia!

I seem to be spiralling badly with this health anxiety.First, it was a fixation with my heart.That has now been ruled out.Then, just as I started feeling better a new anxiety has taken its place .I now think I may have cancer!I thought I was doing well for a while accepting that my symptoms were not cardiac,but anxiety.Now its as if my my mind wont let me relax and is trying to find another basis for my recurring symptoms.Why cant I just accept it for what it is-my anxiety dissorder!I really am losing faith in my sanity.This is truly a nightmare condition to live with!!If only the symptoms went away,then I guess anxiety would not be a problem.Or is it the other way around,that subconscious anxiety is creating the symptoms.I GIVE UP!!!
Dimi.xx
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447939_tn?1235065543
health anxiety is awful so far i have had a brain tumour, numerous strokes, blood clots, cancers and now a dodgy heart!!!!! not bad for a 32 year old eh?
are you takin any medication or have you thought about therapy? its just a case of breaking the anxiety circle and trusting in yourself and the doctors
i have benifited from therapy maybe you should look into it
good luck
jo
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468452_tn?1225968488
Hi Dimi,

Health anxiety officially *****! It takes over your life.
I too have had throat cancer, brain tumours, blood clots, heart failure and now a dissected Aorta. I feel like I too am going crazy, heaven forbid what I would be like if I actually had something wrong with me!

Unfortunately it is just one of those things that you have to ride out, and help yourself as much as you can. As Jo said, meds and theraoy can work wonders.

Good luck with it all and I am sure that you do not have cancer but are just going through a bad patch

Sam x
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks guys for your support.I need it at moments like this!!This whole thing has almost become like a habit,a habit I have to break,for the sake of my sanity.
Dimi.x
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Avatar_m_tn
This is very typical in my opinion when dealing with health anxiety.  As soon as you get over one 'symptom' another 'symptom' takes its place.  First and foremost, realize that a lot of others in this forum are experiencing the same thing you are going through which is often comforting to know you are not alone.  Second, have you talked this over with anyone?  Talking it through is a very powerful tool in dealing with this.  Anxiety can be a very vicious cycle if you can not break out of it.  Keep us posted!
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654968_tn?1304363030
Yep the same here. I have suffered on and off for years with Health Anxiety. The new one is a 'brain tumor' because of Tension headaches I've had for nearly 3 weeks. Seen GP three times she keeps trying to reasure me but when i get to this stage I just blip out. Not much help to you I know, just in the same boat.


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Avatar_f_tn
I have this too. From the age of 12 I have been obessed with various imagined lumps, dodgy moles and other symptoms. The obsessions take over my life at times and have gone worse since I had my children and the added fear of leaving them behind.
At the moment I am suffering with frequent urination and have myselof convinced I have ovarian cancer.
Going to the Dr tomorrow about the frequent urination and the anxiety too
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Avatar_f_tn
I too have suffered for many, many years from health anxiety.  My problem is worse though, because most of the time I can't bring myself to go to the doctor... I can't bear the thought that he'll confirm my worst fears.  I am petrified of tests such as scans, mri's or any kind of test that "might" reveal I have cancer or a terminal disease.  I know I suffer from anxiety however, medications such as  Paxil, Prozac, Effessor, even though they might help, give me insomnia for days!  Other drugs such as Xanax give me temporary relief but if I take them longer than 3 days I get very depressed, plus, they are so addictive.  I don't have money for therapy and my insurance does not cover it, what can I do?
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm a fellow health anxiety sufferer as well...

Here is what I think or thought I have had:

Heart attack, aortic dissection, abdominal aortic aneurysm, stroke (both bleeding and from a clot), pulmonary embolism, and pancreatic cancer. There are a few more, but those are the frequent ones.

Not sure where all this comes from. Is it chemical or are we obsessed with our mortality and fear of dying? Frankly, I think ignorance is bliss and I curse the internet for all the info it has. Had I not known of these conditions, would I fear them?
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Avatar_m_tn
I am also suffering with this. It all started with a recurring sore throat and of course my first instinct was to get on the internet and diagnose myself. A recurring sore throat is a sign of throat cancer of course. This isn't when the full blown anxiety rolled in it was just the beginning. From then on I would every now and then think that I had another symptom of cancer but never bothered to visit a doctor because I was able to write it off as my imagination running wild.

A couple of months ago I began having abdominal pain and decided to visit my old friend the internet for the solution. Once again, I was told this was a sign of cancer, pancreatic cancer. Of course the prognosis of pancreatic cancer is very poor so this sent me into a tale spin. I finally had the sense to make an appointment with my doctor to have it checked out. Of course he told me I was being crazy and I was too young to have pancreatic cancer (33) of course he also couldn't rule it out. I had what seemed to be a thousand test and the result was a faulty gall bladder.

About a week ago I had my gall bladder removed but because of misunderstanding what the surgeon said after the surgery, I convinced myself that I had suffered from either gall bladder cancer or melanoma that had spread. The pathology came back from the surgery and come to find out I did not have gall bladder cancer. This is great news right, oh no not for me. I then decided that I just had melanoma that had spread. This is of course pretty far fetched since I had an abdominal and pelvic CT scan that was completely normal. I convinced myself that a mole on my arm was malignant and that it had spread and the doctors just hadn't ( I should say haven't since I still believe this) caught it yet.

Today I went to the dermatologist and had him look at the mole. He tells me there is nothing to worry about and that it is fine. He did a biopsy just to make sure and told me to quit worrying about it. If it was only that easy. I keep telling my wife that I know this is all completely illogical but I still can't convince myself that I don't have cancer. Unfortunately, it is affecting my life greatly. Because of the thought of my impending death from cancer I can't enjoy time with my family or concentrate on anything. All I can think about is how my 18 month old will grow up without knowing his father.

I know I need help but this is he first place I have found with people with similar problems. I am going o be going nuts until the biopsy comes back on my mole and even though a trained professional has told me not to worry about it, that is just what I am going to do. No matter how illogical it is.
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Avatar_n_tn
April 21,2009

This is a difficult way to live.  The fear is horrible.  I have not gone to doctors for years because of it.  I am now going to a physician who is giving me a sedative and anti-depressent.  Every ache and pain, I think it is cancer.  I have a pain on my right side now lower abdomen.  I had loose bowels all week-end took a imodium (immodium) and now have gas and sharp pains so of course I think it is cancer.  Starterd to see a therapist two weeks ago.  Still not better. I know if this pain goes away, it will just be something else.  I hope the day comes when I can stop this.
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Avatar_f_tn
I have just about the same, My biggest fear is cancer...

My fears are mainly provoced by things both me & others can feel though, such as a large cluster of hard lumps that I currently feel on both sides of my groin area, For me this is "Cancer until proven otherwise". Instead of for most people where it is the other way around. I have been terrified all day now, sure its a bit less then this morning, but its still very much here.

Luckely I can go to the doctor in uhhmmm... 13 hours & 3 minutes.

I just hope he gives me the good old,

"its nothing to worry about" like he did with my past examinations..
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Avatar_f_tn
You guys are experiencing what I've had for the last 6 months.  It started with panic attacks at night, which immediately meant heart trouble in my mind.  I caused myself to hyperventilate daily for a month until I finally let go of it.  A month later I began to have a burning sensation all over my body.  Convinced I had MS, I had several tests done which showed...nothing, of course.  A knee injury right after that scare left me depressed and anxious for 2 months.  I then switched to worrying about leukemia/lymphoma (a fear I've had since childhood).  I periodically get some spots on my skin, which is my recent fear.  I've had normal bloodwork results at least 5 times in the last year, and have no symptoms that can't be accounted for with the anxiety, but I continually convince myself that I am dying.  It is a comfort to know I'm not the only one out there experiencing it.  My husband is growing frustrated with my constant unrealistic fears.
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Avatar_f_tn
I can definitely sympathize with you all...In the past two months, I have been self-diagnosed with the following diseases/ conditions: MS, Lyme's Disease from a tick bite ( there actually aren't any deer ticks in KY, but that doesn't matter), kidney stones, gall stones, brain tumours, beign peripheral paroxysmal vertigo ( that's a mouthful), ulcerative colitis, acute gastroenteritis, various anxiety disorders, depression, GERD, CFS, IBS-D, IBS-C, Chrone's disease, pancreatic cancer ( a friend was diagnosed with this and I instantly began to experience his symptoms), colon cancer, anal cancer ( from reading too much about Farrah Fawcett probably), lymphoma ( all types) and, most recently, cat scratch fever ( darn those felines!). Not bad for a 34 year old, eh? Thanks to my plucky and industrious primary care physician, the internet, I can spend hours scouring symptom causes through google searches, thereby feeding my irrational suspicions and often fueling new ones. My wife just tunes me out when I bring up my symptoms. Among my less sensible behaviours related to this, I have taken to: weighing myself every day during my lunch break at a local Walmart ( our scale at home broke ( probably from over-use by me)) - just to be sure I am not losing weight precipitously as I fear, frantically feeling myself for enlarged lymph nodes, hyper-examining my stool for signs of blood, reflexively second-guessing every conclusion of every doctor that I have seen and doubting the veracity of their test results, wondering what kind of guy my wife is going to marry when I die and how soon after the funeral, among many other phobic eccentricities. It's no wonder none of the "real" doctors I see seem to take me seriously. For brief moments I am illuminated by the light of common sense and can perceive the utter ridiculousness of this behaviour, but just as quickly my fears come crowding back in, nagging and convincing me that not only am I not delusive, but that I am actually in the advanced stages of dying a slow and painful death... What can we do? My best remedy is a good laugh. Nothing is more cathartic and provides more instant relief. I hope you all have a good laugh at my expense...Whatever I can do to help - this phobia is tough!
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Avatar_n_tn
I thought I was the only one going thru this.  My coworkers and my husband think I'm nuts...why don't they have this problem too! is what I want to know...

I'm so glad I found this forum... maybe we can all learn something from each others doctors visits...I go for  a repeat blood test in about 2 weeks.  a result was 9 points over the normal and of course I'm completely freaked out!  normal is 100-250 and mine was 259  and "according to the internet" that could be caused by either difficulty with drawing the blood or cancer somewhere in my body...OF COURSE!  I'm trying to stay optomistic here because the lab girl did have a terrible time collecting the blood. SO I just keep trying to push that other diagnosis OUT of my mind!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
i can totallly relate, i have been to the hospital and to see my doctor so much in the last few months that the receptionists know my name.  I have self diagonsed myself with blood clots, brain tumor, heart attack, clogged arteries, menegititis. I have woken up from a sound sleep because i thought i stopped breathing.  I have been dizzy and thought i was having a stroke.  Yesterday i went to the hospital because i thought the glands in my neck were swollen, and i was convinced that my airway was going to constrict so i couldnt breathe.  I examine my neck all the time and im convinced that its swollen even though no one else can see it.  I measure it on a daily basis. Im convinced that my airways are going to swell shut and i wont be able to breathe. Im sure once i get over this i'll have another problem, my husband is at his wits end with me and so is my mom. My mom is a therapist so i know my health anxiety is driving her nuts.  I have had the whole cancer anxiety but i worry about my heart alot because my dad had a quadruple bypass in 2003 and since he had that im sure im going to need one because i have the same allergies that he has, i look identical to him, i act like him, we have the same blood type so im sure that there is something wrong with me too. I have had so many cardigrams i can hook the machine up myself.
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Avatar_f_tn
This is a horrible way to live- I hate the constant fear.  My mother died of cancer 5 years ago. Several neighbors have been diagnosed (young people) and died from cancer in the last couple of years.  I have "had" almost every kind of cancer.  Even after ultrasounds, CT scans, etc. coming back normal, I feel that the doctors are missing something.  My husband thinks I'm crazy. I look at my body every day just watching for new spots, moles, etc.  I hate living like this.
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Avatar_n_tn
I guess I'm like everyone else on here... it's harder when going to the doctor's is out of the question cause u fear to hear bad news!!! Here I am at 5:16 am awake cause I cant sleep...  I don't know what to do... I feel bad for us... and hope for nothing but the best for all!
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Avatar_m_tn
I guess I'm like everyone else on here.  I have a severe cancer phobia.  I have self diagnosed myself with...well...lets see, lung cancer, throat cancer, esphogeal cancer, sinus cancer, tonsil cancer, lymphoma, melanoma, bone cancer, etc...the list continues.  I know I'm acting crazy.  When I think about it rationally, all of this just sounds absurd.  But I can't stop.  My wife just tunes me out now.  Its got even worse after our son was born because of my fear of leaving my wife and child alone when I die...of cancer.  When I finally confessed this fear to my doctor last September (the visit where he ruled out bone cancer for the pain in my arm), he recommended that I see a therapist.  I haven't yet taken his advice but I will at some point.  Living like this is such a disruption at work and at home.  I just want to live normally without the fear of cancer consuming me.  ITs never any other disease, just cancer.  I'm nuts, I know.  I am glad that I'm not the only one though - so happy to find this community.  Venting and talking about it helps.  
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Avatar_m_tn
hello,

i too am suffering from health anxiety.  I found out that i actually have 2 autoimmune diseases, yet i make myself think i have something worse.  Right now i keep worrying that i have some kind of cancer.

I really hope you get better with this, i know how horrible it is!

Good luck! <3
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Avatar_n_tn
As I approached 40 I started thinking about how I would be expected by my doc to get yearly mammograms, and I wondered if they could CAUSE cancer, so I became reluctant.
I think from there, things I had over the last several months have made me think too hard about cancer. I was dizzy for 7 weeks last fall and at one point it made me nauseous. That all turned out to be allergies. Now recently I had a shooting pain through my whole lower abdomen, sides, and then it localized to the pelvis it seemed, and now it's in my tummy. My doc said I was healthy and he prescribed pills for acidy stomach. The pain subsided somewhat but there is still a spot of mild pain and tightness.

I have been looking at way too many cancer sites, and then, a "hypochondriac" site. I fit many of the characters, like obsessing about sites, and that my friend's stepdad has stomach cancer from drinking. I've been a heavy drinker for several years and have even puked several times, which is what made me worry.

Not everyone gets cancer no matter what they do. I have to chill before the STRESS does something to me.
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Avatar_n_tn
Thanks so much for this site and all of your comments:) I've been living with this for 3 months now. This forum made me smile like I haven't for 3 months:)

God Bless You All!!
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Avatar_f_tn
I thought I was alone..OMG!  I have been like this forever, when I was 9 years old I thought I  had leukemia.  Don't even know how I knew about that at 9 years old.  Since then I've had just about every kind of cancer, heart problems, Lou Gehrigs disease (that was a good one), MS, fatal familial insomnia, alzheimers, strokes...the list goes on and on.  It is horrible and I have gotten scared to go to the doctor.  Somehow I have to get myself out of that.  I have an appt on Wednesday for my latest thing and I'm afraid I'm going to cancel.
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Avatar_n_tn
i understand what you are all going through, ive had health anxiety since nov 2009, i remember the exact day it started, im still finding it hard to accept its anxiety though, i think how can all these pysical symptoms just be caused by anxiety and not something life threating, ive always been a worrier about my health but not to this extent its ubelievable even though im a little better. i get dizzy feel like im going to pass out, feel unreal,n get very hot. according to me ive had heart attacks, brain tumour , strokes, bowel cancer and now i think ive got some form of stomach cancer, it feels lumpy and really hurts when i breateh out to hard (on purpose to check the pain) lie on my side, but feels ok when i lie down flat hurst when im walking to feels like something inside is about to expand and burst :( scares me so much , but then i think of could all the prodding and stuff caused it?? its awful to live in fear , i fear the day being told i have cancer....cancer does not run in my family but still think like this, i was off work for over 4 month due to this, nobody undrstands unless they are going through it themselves, my mum gets really mad at me and promises thers nothing wrong, i tell her promise is a big word, but it kinda comforts me in a way if you get me, im having therapy and have improved alot since bk in november i wouldnt leave the huse i was on th couch for days n days not getting washed or dressed, i just thought what is the point, now ive started getting better the thoughts have come to the front of my mind again n now im experiencing symptoms, i really dont want it to start again, i really want to meet someone like me :(
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Avatar_m_tn
First let me say that reading this board actually helped me.  I no longer feel alone in my suffering of my health anxiety.  It has taken over my life.  Every single ache and pain I experience causes so much mental anguish that I am emotionally wiped out for days.  I just went to a psych and just began med yesterday.  I am SO hoping that the combination of meds and therapy help me enjoy my life and I can break the cycle that is consuming my life.  
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1335749_tn?1277373021
I to am suffering from this horrible feeling.
I was diagnosed with SVT 8 yrs ago and finally had it fixed last March but my heart still skips beats.
If i get a bruise i think i have a blood clot,with my heart im constantly checking my pulse.
One night i was sure i had a blood clot from a bruise on my leg that i ended up the hospital with a panic attack.My mum thinks im crazy which makes me think i am crazy and doesn't support me but my partner doesn't understand but supports me.
One big fear which has been controlling me is dying and leaving my kids.
Some days im fine but then i can have days were im constantly worried.
I tried medication once but had a bad side effect so i just battle it on my own.
I understand what you all are going through and hope one day we can get our life back
and stop worrying about things that are controlling our lives.
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1243543_tn?1269127622
Health anxiety is my biggest deal i second guess every doctor.It makes me crazy with worry and cant focus on anything else its horrible but im in therepy and also takin klonopin and trying to tell myself its anxiety and im not gonna die and its helped a little and ive made a comentment to not go to the doc but for my once a month checks i have to go to them cause of the klonopin bein a controlled substance and in my county where i live i can only get a refill if i go back every month for monitoring which is fine with me cause i was goin every week swearin i was dyin of something..Anxiety makes you feel like your going crazy..
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757137_tn?1347200053
Sometimes we know something is wrong with us, but there are no glaring symptoms, and we are dismissed out of hand. Our malady may be labeled hypochondria or anxiety. I guess sometimes it is, but very often it isn't. I gave up on doctors altogether after suggestions that I see a psychiatrist. I decided to just live with whatever was wrong with me  I had. It was a long time before I identified my ailment. (I had to do this on my own, obviously.) It was then that I went to a doctor asking for specific tests. It wasn't hypochondria or anxiety - I had physical problems.

Get yourself checked out physically. If that comes to nothing, start on your own research.
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Avatar_n_tn
OMG. This just the worse thing to deal with! Honestly, I am able to read this forum and have a laugh (only because im two glasses of wine down!) because of the relief that i am not alone. I am a mental health professional and i had nt really heard of this disorder! I have been affected by this disorder for about 3 years (and and off) and i am specific to cancer. I honestly could nt care less if it where my heart! How odd is that? Its just the thought of cancer that sends my head into a spin. It affects all aspects of my life (nice two week holiday with my family ruined this summer), I, like some of the others here, visualise my death and wonder/hope my husband will remarry quickly and start another family. Pretty sad stuff eh? I can t wait until the evening so i can hit the wine and my brain can switch off and my (present anxiety, anal cancer) symptoms subside. I have been told by my doctor that i do not have an anal carcinoma, but as you can identify with, im sure a mistake has been made because i do have some anal issues and any symptoms i feel must be cancer surely? Thats what my brain tells me.  I have an appointment with a specialist in two weeks time (just to triple check) but i know i will still feel like this even if they tell me all is well (not that i think they will). Oh man!!! I start CBT at the end of the month. I pray this works so i can get on with my (otherwise) lovely life and enjoy it. I don t know about you, but even if i was to be diagnosed with something awful, i want to be strong and deal with it, not be a total wreck, quivering under sedation in a cupboard somewhere. Good example to set my daughter eh? Good luck to us all. Jan X
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Avatar_f_tn
This is crazy, it's 1:18am I'm awake and reading this forum...This is awesome in a sense because now I know I'm not alone. It's such a good feeling. My mom is losing her battle with Ovarian Cancer...of course I fear I have it, I actually have an appointment tomorrow to go and see a doctor to check for it. After that I'm going to make an appointment with a Therapist. This anxiety has killed my relationship, and I don't want to lose him. My anxiety has pulled me away from him, it has completely changed my attitude about life and I want my happy life back again. I want to feel good again. Ugh...Health anxiety...WTF!
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Avatar_f_tn
i was  kind of relieved but a little sad when i read all these posts yu see this is all me i had cancer phobia for 4 years ive had bowel tummy brain ladies bits throat you name it and its always been ok thank the lord for that ive puked shook cried  not slept and generally been ill i had cbt and this was the turning for me no more googling illness readin g med books drs visits every two minutes i feel so sad about people suffering health anxiety its so bad bad bad i still have a fear of vomiting and get panicky over stomach probs but not like i did with the cancer it is good to know were not alone and were not crazy either we just have a big fear of a deadly disease or of getting ill and thats not weird in anyway good luck to all and take care
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Avatar_n_tn
I cried like a big baby reading this thread.. I'm glad that there is people out there that understand how I feel.

The first time I ever experienced these thoughts was after the birth of my first child in 2000. It was pretty scary and I had numerous tests for numerous ailments. I had tension headaches for 3 months and was convinced I had a brain tumour and even had a CT scan to rule it out. Had that typical anxiety lump in the throat feeling and ended up having a gastroscopy to check for esophageal cancer.. the list goes on..

After I was diagnosed with Post Partum Depression with anxiety (you think?? lol) and taking meds things were better.. I had a second child a few years later and never experienced any of those things. I did a little bit after my 3rd child but I could push the thoughts away much better than before.

But, now here I am going through it again.. I've been having sore breasts and my nipple retracts slightly.. I look it up online.. and retracted nipple is a strong indicator of breast cancer (benign things can cause it too)

I had a fine needle aspiration biopsy that came back fibrocystic changes and a mammogram and ultrasound that came back clear.. that wasn't good enough for me.. I pushed to see a surgeon.

The surgeon went over my imaging.. and did a breast exam and was convinced it was fibrocystic changes and duct ectasia causing the slight retraction.. I pushed for another biopsy anyways and it came back "possible papillary" so now I have surgery and now the surgeon is "fairly certain" it's a papilloma (not very reassuring since he seemed fairly certain it was fibrocystic and duct ectasia)

so, I'm scared as hell I have cancer.. and every ache and pain I am convinced is metastasis. I'm scared of the surgery.. scared I won't wake up (even though I've had 5 surgeries before this and the went fine).. scared of the results.. just driving myself nuts!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
OMG this sounds exactley like me.  I've always been a worrier but since a had the contraceptive implant it's sprillaled out of control.  It started cos the implant  gave me irregular bleeding had loads of tests smear scans all clear but still i think they might have got it wrong and didn't test me right!  kind of got over that then had two lumps identical under each arm thought it was deff cancer went to doc - blocked pores. Then when one of my breast felt strange and I had some pain right where a mole thought it must be breast cancer.  Thankfully the scan was clear but in my head it was maybe it was melonema from the mole on my breast.  2 months later i was back seeing the doctor again cos that mole on my breast had deffiantley changed(much to my husbands annoyance as he assured me it always looked like that) - saw a dematologist she said it was ok and checked the rest of my moles as my husband was with me and asked her too knowing i would probably be thinking another one was cancerous.  then my mother in law has actually been diaignosed with bowel cancer which is terrible - thankfully have got it all and the outlook is positive but now think i have it.  I have had IBS since a  teenager and always have a up and tummy but now it suudenly got worse and the doctor had given me IBS tablets and felt tummy said everything is ok do I want to speak to someone about my anxeity (which i'm now thinking maybe I should).  I sit there feeling it and prodding it sure i can feel hard lumps (likely this is just fat lol!) on one side then pain (prob from the poking) but it's not like you can compare it someone else to check it's normal so it just makes me feel worse.  The sad thing is I have a wonderful husband who puts up with my madness 3 beautiful healthy children and when I'm in a worrying state it ruins my time with them cos its all i can think about.    I'm just glad I'm not the only nuts person out there oh and I'm getting my implant out in a hope it will lessen the anxiety xx
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Avatar_m_tn
Do any of you that thought you had throat cancer have pain in your neck ,jaws and into your ears.
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Avatar_n_tn
I also have a fear of throat cancer. Or just anything in that region. I am most afraid of that because i don't want to lose my voice ever. Anyway, I came to this website because of that fear. Do you guys ever think of things in your past that might cause cancer? I do that and tally everything up, so then i am convinced that i will get it! Crazy, huh?
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Avatar_m_tn
I am so glad I found this - just reading has been helpful. Like most others I've self diagnosed with all different kinds of cancer - most commonly I get focused on throat cancer, as my anxiety causes me to get the lump/tightness in the throat. It is crazy making and really is really starting to effect my quality of life. I feel like I am not 100% present with my friends/family because I am always so focused on the "symptoms" and trying to determine if they are persistent, getting worse, etc - which almost always makes them worse! When I wake up in the morning, or am really focused on something else my symptoms seem to disappear - but the moment I start thinking about them they return.

My fear has spurred MANY lifestyle changes - I don't use plastic food containers, I avoid harmful chemicals in cleaning and personal care products, I only eat organic food, the list goes on and on. I hope that by being a part of this group it will help me to normalize my anxiety and be able to get on with my life. It is a terrible thing to be living in fear and carry this constant feeling of dread. If anything it will be anxiety that causes my health to fail!
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Avatar_m_tn
I am a 33 years old female, i am a smoker, for 2 months period i have been feeling that there is somthing stuck in my throat, its something like mucus. i went to 5 ENT doctors all of them told me that it is acid reflux and the gave me Nexium as a treatment, i didnt feel feel better on it. I am afraid what it could be, is it throught cancer or any problem in my stomach???? In cas anyone have these symtoms (symptoms) please share it with me i am really worrried. in the morning i dont feel anything but it gets worse during the day.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hey everybody I m also in the Que. Last 2 months i have many cases of cancer and studied a lot (since i m biologist and involved in research) and every time i diagnose my self as cancer patient and have same problem as of "ikatergi" from last one month since i m smoker too. My doc said simple acid reflex and pharyngitis can be cured if i quit smoking for 1 week (so hard but trying to). In gist i have same problem like u guys but fighting with myself that i dont have cancer and hope i ll not have.
So Have faith in GOD no one can change our destiny if We have to live our life 100 yrs no one can change it. Believe me have faith in GOD.
GOOD luck
bye  
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Avatar_n_tn
Hey guys, i go through the exact same thing.  The feeling of having your fears disproven is absolute bliss - and just when u think everything is over...another symptom pops up.  Over the years i thought ive had testicular cancer, (yes im a guy), lou garrigs disease, early parkinsons, certain mouth diseases, throat cancer, male breast cancer, intestinal cancer, brain tumours, skin cancer, muscular dystrophy...etc...does it ever end? i feel like if it keeps going on like this im really going to go insane, and i dont mean this as an exaggeration, i just dont think my mind can take it and i dont have the mental fortitude for this.  But I try to stay optimistic i knowing that i probably dont have anything wrong and you guys probably dont have anything wrong too :)
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I seem to suffering from health anxiety as well. I am only 33 and in reasonably good health (although my diet could be a bit better), have no immediate family history of cancer. don't smoke or consume excessive amounts of alchol. So logically I should have nothing to fear.

Yet lately I am suffering from what appears to be symptoms of colon or stomach cancer and I immediately have difficulty sleeping, feeling tense all day and dreading the "worse". I browse the 'net for information and and it tends to make me feel worse, particularly about those cases of young cancer patients. I know those are only the very very small minority (often with family history or a long period of ignoring symptoms) and chances are I will be fine. But I can't get it out of my mind. Stool sample turned out to be negative as is ultrasound. But I plan to do a colonscopy and endoscopy just to be safe.

I am having non-stop panic attacks and is at my wit's ends. Can someone offer some useful advice? Part of me want to know exactly what is going on yet another part of me dread the doctor. What should I do? I can't stand the pressure and stress much longer.
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Im in the same boat as many of you.  Ive self diagnosed myself with every cancer in the book and of course it has never been cancer.  Right now though Tango Im in your boat.  Im convinced I have colon cancer and I have a dr appt on monday.  What are your symptoms like?  I have had discomfort and occasional pain in my abdomen for over two weeks now and it hasnt gone away.  Lots of cramping and gas pain and stomach rumbling.  

I am freaked out and dont have insurance right now as I am a full time student.  Ill probably end up getting another couple grand in debt doing tests that I cant afford and probably dont need just in an attempt to get some peace of mind.  I have no family history of colon cancer though my grandmothers both died of Cancer: Lukemia and Pancreas cancer.  But those are not inherited.  Im 28 years old, havent smoked in 3 years and am a very light drinker.  The only major risk increasing factor is my diet is ****.  I am in good shape but I eat a lot of red meats and processed meats.  

Hypochondria *****.
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Im in the same boat as many of you.  Ive self diagnosed myself with every cancer in the book and of course it has never been cancer.  Right now though Tango Im in your boat.  Im convinced I have colon cancer and I have a dr appt on monday.  What are your symptoms like?  I have had discomfort and occasional pain in my abdomen for over two weeks now and it hasnt gone away.  Lots of cramping and gas pain and stomach rumbling.  

I am freaked out and dont have insurance right now as I am a full time student.  Ill probably end up getting another couple grand in debt doing tests that I cant afford and probably dont need just in an attempt to get some peace of mind.  I have no family history of colon cancer though my grandmothers both died of Cancer: Lukemia and Pancreas cancer.  But those are not inherited.  Im 28 years old, havent smoked in 3 years and am a very light drinker.  The only major risk increasing factor is my diet is ****.  I am in good shape but I eat a lot of red meats and processed meats.  

Hypochondria *****.
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I have had this too for 5 months since my husband and I both got a weird virus. My mom who loves to look symptoms up online said it looked like symptoms for lymphoma so of course I freaked and started researching cancer online and went into full blown panic. I went to urgent care and they said it was a virus but just to put my mind at ease they ran my blood work for leukemia and lymphoma along with some other things. So the entire day I waited for the results I couldnt stop crying and I had a full blown panic attach. Well the results were 100% normal and I felt better for like 5 minutes. Then I started worrying about having a heart problem since I was having lots of pain in my chest. Likely from the anxiety. I went to my family doc and he said it was the anxiety and my heart sounded fine. Well my anxiety about health went away for awhile but the damage was done. I ended up quiting my job because my husband was worried I was under too much stress and was coming unglued. So a week or so later at the end of spring I feel a swollen gland in my groin. Of course I thought it was lymphoma and freaked. Completely ruined my 1st anniversary cruise cause all I thought about was the gland. I felt it constantly making sure it wasnt getting bigger. Eventually when I got home I went back to my doc and he said those swell up for no good reason sometimes and that it felt like a normal gland, no lymphoma. So I ended up going to a psychiatrist who gave me a pill to take when my anxiety is bad. I also see a social worker whose helping me with my anxiety. I still think about cancer a lot. It seems I cant get away from it. Theres commericals everything. Signs everywhere. I was in ATL for two weeks for my husbands work and I went to a historical home tour and a women there had cancer and I almost had to leave I was freaking out being near her and I felt soo guilty. The glands in my leg went down for awhile but are swollen again on both sides. Probably due to my horrible allergies I have. A friend of mine has horrible allergies and says hers are swollen everywhere all the time. I think my issue is I am scared to death of one day being diagnosed and feeling out of control and losing my hair from chemo and dying a slow and painful death. Im only 25 and have never smoked and rarely drink. No one in my family has had cancer except a great aunt who died from lung cancer but she smoked for like 55 years.  So I know my fear is iirational but I cant stop worrying and thinking bout it day after day. I have appointments for the gyno, the dermatologist and my family doc next month to be all checked out so that I can have MORE piece of mind. I know while I wait for results from any tests or bloodwork they do I will be a hot mess. Im soooo tired of being this way. I now really wish I hadnt called my mom that day about my husband feeling sick. I had never worried bout cancer before that day.
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OMG when i read this i was thinking did i post this and not remember!! i know exactly how you feel i have been dealing with this for only about a month but it has took over my life , all i think about is whats gonna kill me first cancer, stroke , they ruled out my heart also so i had to find somthing to ponder on i guess! i pray for all of you who suffer from this terrible thing!
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I suffer from this too! I'm constantly worrying and I'm taking tablets for it. I have just experienced a small amount of spotting in between periods (probably down to all the stress or the tablets I'm taking) but of course I think I have cervical cancer! I'm only 20 and have been suffering for about 5 weeks but I've "had" a brain tumour, MS, spinal cancer, ovarian cancer and cervical cancer. I hate being like this and hope with tablets and therapy that I'll be normal again one day! Feel so much better after reading this and my heart goes out to everyone suffering from anxiety, it's awful!
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I have had health anxiety for years - as a healthy, young 20 year old, I swore my "chest pain" and pounding heart meant a heart attack.  I, too, have had "brain tumors, cancer, blood clots, and so on."  My brother gave me a medical dictionary once for my birthday, and I looked up all my symptoms in it and drove myself crazy, so I had to throw it away.  I have driven myself nuts obsessing over certain death because the food I ate or the beverage I drank was not 'quite right,' and as a result, I would die of botulism, cyanide, salmonella or other horrible cause.  Things came to a head in the past few years - I am now 59, and this has been a lifelong issue for me.  I do see the doctor fairly regularly as I (for real) have hypertension and a prolactinoma (pituitary tumor) for which I have received treatment.  However, it got to the point where I was emailing him (we have an electronic portal allowing you to reach your doctor that way) all the time - long emails detailing every bump, every twinge, sometimes more than one email at a time.  My doc is a very old school, understanding guy, who recognized my symptoms for the anxiety condition it is.  He believed I had a form of OCD, and like many before him, strongly advised a visit to a psychiatrist.  I resisted for months, but finally broke down and went.  I resisted her attempts, too, to help, early on, this year.  However, she had my number from day 1, saying that she "guaranteed" I'd have side effects, when I expressed my concern about taking the SSRI she wanted to give me.  Over the next few months, I began to trust her and was gradually getting used to the Citalopram and valium she gave me.  Was doing much better, but had a setback last month, after a stressful work period put me over the 'edge.'  This resulted in another round of emails, etc.  I assumed my psychiatrist would up my dose of citalopram, but before she could, she left the clinic, rather abruptly.  I am now in the process of having to find a new doc and begin again.  The point is, that you may have some form of ocd / hypochondriasis.  I have no clue, as I'm not a psychiatrist, so that's why I shared my story.  And like the others, I'm amazed to see so many of us suffer from it.  Talk to your primary care doc if s/he's receptive.  See a psychiatrist and ask why you are like this.  For me, I obsess about my health issues to an extraordinary degree, and then act out compulsions, such as emailing my doctor for very minor concerns, or in the past, showing up at his office for an 'emergency' appointment.  When my pdoc left, we were just starting to work on those things.  Until recently, my primary care doc had me come in once a month only, to go through my issues, but he had stepped back as the psychiatrist began working with me.  Again, I'm a lawyer, not a doctor, so I don't know where your problems stem from, but I do think you really should follow up and have honest discussion w/ your primary care doc and probably, a psychiatrist - good luck!  
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As I read post after post i realized i must have been having health anxiety as well.  For me it started after I was went in to the dr and found out I had a benign paratid tumor and later had surgery to have it removed.  The symptoms and fear of having cancer got worst after my daughter was born some months later (same fears of leaving her and my wife came in strong).  I then noticed a lump on the left side of my throat and was sure it was cancer. Soon after the occational pain started in at the lump site.  Had the family all worried, and turned out the lump I had was not what concerned my Dr. and turned out I had benign tumors in my thyroid, but my mom has had this problem for years and it runs in the family (but not cancer).  So here I am feeling little pains that come and go and sure it must be in my lymph nodes... ooh man, I went back to my dr for my followup with the thyroid and pointed out the lump deeper in my throat, and he told me it was "Normally Abnormal."  what does that even mean lol probably mean I do not have cancer and it's just my thyroid bone thats a little bigger on one side, but when you are being hypercritical you will find things that you might have had all your life.  Anyway, it was a huge weight lifted knowing that so many others have the same problem :)  good luck all, and yes I even thought I had lung cancer because I would occationally get chest pain, but the dr said it was because the way i was sitting and consistant with muscle pain..  Ohh yeah also started monitoring my weight to make sure I don't start losing weight.  Living this way *****, but we got to know its in our heads and what will happen will happen..
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Big Hi to all of you from Russia.))
I also suffer from Health phobia for several years, no panic attacks, thank God. Sometimes it's better, sometimes not.
I was freaking out , because thought I migh get heart attack, die from blood pressure, from tromb..But I done great to overcome it.
But, 3 persons, whom I knew, died from cancer in half a year!!
And it really really freakens out...It seems like people don't die from anything else anymore and that is the only disiease.
I really feel a bit comforted, that I am not the only one, but WTF, why? Why do we experience such things, which can't be controlled and which really mess up our lifes?

BTW, it seems noone from elders ever had something simmilar, I mean any kinds of phobia. Isn't it strange?
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Wow so there is whole lot of other people crazy like me out there. For the last week I have diagnosed myself wiwht either liver or esophagus cancer because of pain in my upper back. I went to the Chiro who told me its just muscle pains but 2 weeks later its still there and I keep thiking what if it is cancer. I am making myself sick thiking about, obsessing about it. I am making myself have no apetite by having all this stress, its so bad I cant stop reading different things on the internet.
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hi everyone im 32 and know what you all are talking about.  i also have it.  my fear is cancer. right now it is stomach cancer because my stomach hurts all the time.  they did  blood work and found nothing wrong with my counts.   i also had them do an xray on my lungs i dont have cancer.  i just keep thinking about it when im alone i will also look things up.  all i do is cry and tell my husband that im dying when i know that im not.  what is next with this. i cant take much more
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Hey everyone!! Just reading everyone's comments makes me feel like I'm not alone. I'm 29, and I have major health aniexty...I'd do anything to be able to feel and live the way I did 4 months ago. Like goucher, all I seem to do is cry...I always think I'm going to die, it's such an awful feeling. I have gone through the having a heart attack, just went through the stroke faze, and now my left side of neck pulsates and feels tight with pressure so of course I start thinking I have cancer. Also have gone through the situation of thinking I have blood clots throughout my body...only just started seeing a therapist month ago...hoping it will help me in the end. But glad to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. I think my doctor is sick of me the amount of times I visit...which I will be on monday because of the neck tightness :( I think the internet plays a major part...I read symptoms all the time...google.com is a constant webpage on my mobile!! So bad :)
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Oh my God - you guyz are talking about me. I am 34 years old, male and married. I have been trying to quit smoking for the last 2 years. going from Marlboro red to white, to Menthol, e-cig, nicottine gum, patch....all. One night I guess I was over stressed & got my 1st panic attack in the middle of the night. sent to ER who suspected heart attach and they transfered me to heart hospital that did a Catethrisation and it was clear. they sent me home in 24 hrs and asked me to follow up with my doctor.  2 weeks later I went to my Doctor who told me I am fine but I need to consider quit smoking seriously if I want to live longer & enjoy my 80's. I thought about it & I said, well that's sound like a good Idea, so I decided to quit the cold Turkey & I did, that was 10 months ago - ever since I have been having cancer fear, heart attack fear, pencreas cancer, oral cancer..you name it.
Everytime I check my self the Doctor tells me I am fine. I think I have to admit that I need help & that's the 1st thing to do for recovery. STOP worring, we all gonna die anyways, just live & enjoy...I am telling my self this everytime I get crazy, my AD Drug is helping me, my wife is supporting...let's see...Good Luck everyone, its tuff but we will make it.
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There are a lot of us that is for sure.  I have had this most of my life.  When I was 9 years old I remember thinking I had leukemia.  I have had every kind of cancer known to man I am sure.  And to make things worse I am in the medical profession (go figure) and I know all the horrible things that the most insignificant symptom can be.  I have learned to live with it and manage to talk myself out of most craziness but it is definitely a hard road to be on.  I have tried counselling and medication without a whole lot of success.  I am lucky though that once I have it checked out and it's nothing to worry about I can stop.  But then something else always pops up.
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I thought i was the only one.  I too diagnosed my self with all the above. Just want to live normally. Its a very dark cloud. Lisa
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I thought i was the only one.  I too diagnosed my self with all the above. Just want to live normally. Its a very dark cloud. Lisa
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WOW! hello people from the same planet! i am just like this. Im a 24 yr old female ive been this way for as long as i can remember. Its gotten worse over the years because of family members death. If only we had a doctor in our family right?! so we can just ask our little questions all the time and not have to waste time going to the doctor's office, I cant tell you how many times i thought i was dieing or had an illness ..Anyone, wanting to talk about this, feel free to message me anytime! its great to know there are other people who think exactly the way i do!
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just found this web site and cant believe how many there are like me,thought i was only one been like this for 20 years off and on but in a bad bout of it now.tried everything from tablets to hypnosis, i also prod and feel a lot and find no end of odd lumps and bumps which scares life out of me.my doctor is great but after initial relief i start to think maybe shes missed something or not feeling what i am feeling.itsa horrible phobia and ruining my life.it does help to know im not alone though
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I need to ask you how you deal with this, I am a medical student and just today had a massive panic attack so bad i had to have fluids from vomiting due to my anxiety. I have had a major fear of melanoma for the past few weeks since our derm lecture. Every mole I have looks cancerous and I cant stop thinking enough to study, I even went so far as to look at my little girl and think she had something today and she is only 3. My wife and children do not deserve this and it is going to ruin everything i have worked so hard for. I realize I have this phobia of cancer but today may have been the kicker I have never had fear like this. Even when the ER doc looked at me and said that doesnt look bad and 2 other doctors as well I am not able to stop my mind. I have dealt with this fear for years. I need advice so that I cant help others. I have been on every website looking at pictures constantly and I am scared to death. I think after today maybe more of the thought process than actually having cancer.

Sincerely,
med 2
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Hello everyone

I've had a cancer phobia too, for a very long time. I sometimes still have it now, I just want to say that it's very much linked to this - people think of cancer as an unexpected and life-ruining thing, so, as soon as they're afraid of anything going wrong in their lives or loosing anything that they have, they might jump to this phobia immediately. This is obviously linked with cancer, its just a metaphorical perception. Secondly, you can't blame only people in it - because the official oncology has no subject nowadays, that don't have any idea what is cancer and what causes it. So, they don't have suitable treatments - and chemotherapy together with radiotherapy etc. actually kill the patients, instead of healing them. Everybody knows it intuitively, that's why so much people suffer with cancer phobia now.

Cancer phobia, in my opinion is one of the most horrible anxiety disorders, which completely ruins your life, especially if it's gone too far.

But the good thing is that cancer cure actually exists, it was invented by Tullio Simoncini, an Italian ex-doctor, oncologist. He states that cancer is an infection, caused by a fungus, candida and it's easily curable with sodium bicarbonate solutions - its administration directly into the affected organ or in the veins or arteries close to an organ. I don't know whether this theory will become popular all over the world or not, but the fact is that it holds the truth - of which the traditional oncologists have no idea. I'm saying this because he has healed many people, just with soft methods, including a portacath catheterisation or intravenous administration of sodium bicarbonate. In some cases surgery might be needed, if the lump is too big, but with after and before sterilisation with this substance, the fungai is killed completely and cancer doesn't come back anymore.

You can google his name - Tullio Simoncini - or look for it on youtube, there're interviews in which he demonstrates (with endoscopic videocamera shots) that cancer really is a fungus and it can be easily treated with sodium bicarbonate.

So, don't worry anymore and good luck!

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Sorry, I didn't explain it correctly about the cancer surgery - for some organs,  sometimes, if the lump is too big, it's better to operate it - cut just the nodule (not the organ, just the tumor) - and continue treatment with sodium bicarbonate, to eliminate the fungus - which is the cancer.
So, cutting and amputating organs only does the damage to these poor people, its completely unnecessary.
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I'm only 18 and I'm convinced I have a brain Tumor! Anxiety *****
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Yes, you are not alone. I'm in a severely hellish state with this very same issue at the moment. I have thought I had it for awhile now too. They ruled out the older worries and I relaxed for a short moment but now of coarse there are more new issues. I am now actually getting the symptoms of having it!! My anxiety is making it so much worse. I am getting some weight loss, reoccurring body pain in my liver area, my left side and my stomach. My lymph nodes hurt. I am very weak and tired all of the time now. I seriously would not wish this on any of my worst enemies. It's like all of your worst anxiety fears being magnified and seemingly brought to life if not very possibly really coming to life. Hang in there to those who are going through the "cancer scare'  type of health anxiety. I'm no dr. but I have heard the bloodtests are pretty accurate? Is this true? My recent bloodwok came back normal and so I'm hoping that bloodwork is pretty accurate.  Hang in there everyone.
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I too..have just an intense fear of cancer, ever since I was a child and also had general anxiety, health worry and panic attacks all my life. My grandfather (father's dad) died of stomach cancer at 35. My father died of liver cancer at 49. I was just 17. All other family members on my dad's side lived long healthy lives. My dad's grandmother lived into 80s, dad's half sister and half brother are nearing 80 now! But I am still paranoid! I am 37 yr old female and just had surgery for a fibroid causing bleeding. I was anemic and was fine with it all, the tests and frenzy of emergency surgery (called me in the next day) but now I wait for 2 week check up and am freaking out they will tell me I have advanced stage cervical or some uterus CANCER (ugh that word in itself gives me anxiety). I drop weight each year from trying to eat super healthy gluten free and then the worry makes me drop even more weight...then I get even more worked up. Its a vicious cycle of cancer worry here and there. Just waiting on the day. .. and if im 70 something and I get sick with some other stupid illness other than cancer im gonna be pretty dissapointed in myself wasting these years in a worried tense state and never fully enjoying life to the fullest!.. :(      

I have never tried medication Im kinda of a pill phobic too. Believing they will cause toxins in my body..side effects. So tried a little therapy and read several books that have helped but my dad worried bout cancer too and it seems now the cycle and genetics have passed down to me...worry...worry ...worry...tired and want a life like everyone else out there. Thinking of you all.
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Hi I was reading your post on health anxeity and i feel the same way... this is taking over my life...  please email me at ***@**** so we can help each other out..    
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi I was reading your post on health anxeity and i feel the same way... this is taking over my life...  please email me at ***@**** so we can help each other out..    
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm I'm the same place as u, the doctors have told me I haven't got bowl cancer, but nobody can convince me, so I putting my self through an investigation this week an with any luck I'm fine.
This is not the first time I've had throat bladder mole cancer in my brain, I'm just so scared.
I've just started sertraline 50 the 100mg I no that helps me, 2 years ago I got my self in such a mess I couldn't work, and I was the only 1 working in my family, I try all the therapys they didn't work. For me this is a wonder drug helps control my OCD.
I will home off when I'm ready because I did b4.
Good Luck everybody
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I'm I'm the same place as u, the doctors have told me I haven't got bowl cancer, but nobody can convince me, so I putting my self through an investigation this week an with any luck I'm fine.
This is not the first time I've had throat bladder mole cancer in my brain, I'm just so scared.
I've just started sertraline 50 the 100mg I no that helps me, 2 years ago I got my self in such a mess I couldn't work, and I was the only 1 working in my family, I try all the therapys they didn't work. For me this is a wonder drug helps control my OCD.
I will home off when I'm ready because I did b4.
Good Luck everybody
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HI everyone im going through the same horrible feeling and fear also.. I noticed that one of my testicles was bigger than the other and i immediatley self diagnosed myself with testicular cancer.. Im so scared the doc looked at me and said all was fine but i continue to feel discomfort and i start freaking out...i googled symtoms (symptoms) and the first thing that comes out is cancer...Ive been through this before....once i diagnosed myself with lung cancer and colon cancer..I need help...:( If anyone outh there would like to e-mail me just to help each other out do so please ***@****
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Hi there I'm 38 years old I lost my mum tto pancreatic cancer 5 years ago and a year ago I lost my best friend to the same cancer no every little ounce of pain I have I panic out my brain thinking I've got the same thing I wake up everymorning for the past 3 days wet thru with sweat and shake constantly chest pain and my mind is doing overtime I haven't eaten properly in 3 days I can't stomach to drink tea and normally I'm a tea belly I can only drink juice I've made myself so bad I had a episode like this last year and it lasted for about 4 days but its even happening in my sleep I've read everyones synmptoms and it sounds so like me through and through but I keep tinking what if mine isn't anxiety and it is something serious I know I'm doing this to myself but when it happens its so bloody scary I convince myself I have it and make myself worse xxx HELP!!! I think I have hypochondria I'm sure I'm making something out of nothing I know I am its just hard to break through what scares me is I have a 16 year old daughter and a loving husband who goes through with it too but I'm scared I will lose him if I don't get this under control xxx
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I am the same way. I am scared to death I have cancer but even more scared to go to a doctor about my fears. I think about it every day and it has changed my life. I never thought of myself as a coward but I am.Every new symptom or pain or lump is cancer.I hate this
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I have been living like this since I was 7 years old. For me it switched from "I'm dying" of (some form of) cancer, to the intrusive thoughts. I go back and forth between the two and have been for almost 20 years. It never occurred to me That it was ocd until recently and I started to see a therapist and psychologist who put me on Prozac (I was on lexapro before). If I even hear the word cancer, my stomach turns. It gets do depressing and frusterating because I just want to enjoy my life and yet I always fear I am dying or feel like a horrible person (for the intrusive thoughts). No one really understands but my parents who also have ocd and the same fears. Just knowing I have a doctors appointment sends my anxiety through the roof. I think i have cried in every doctors office I've been in.
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Same feelings....... and, I laughed to read about all this insanity. The phobia of cancer is taking over my life. I'm always listening to my body to see if I can feel any pain. My brain then, stops and focuses on a spot and I start building the pain in my mind to the point where I start believing it is cancer. I always disappear in a long insanity and I make a trip to the doctor to ease my toughs.
It's a drag to live life like this.
Love to all of you
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Same feelings....... and, I laughed to read about all this insanity. The phobia of cancer is taking over my life. I'm always listening to my body to see if I can feel any pain. My brain then, stops and focuses on a spot and I start building the pain in my mind to the point where I start believing it is cancer. I always disappear in a long insanity and I make a trip to the doctor to ease my toughs.
It's a drag to live life like this.
Love to all of you
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I to am suffering I really think u have cancer min reasons for this are because mum was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 months ago she is only 52 her sister (my aunty) dies ages 46 from breast cancer my nan breast cancer too get sister breast cancer and my nan had 2 female cousins Brest cancer too deceased both before age 30 anyway me and my sisters will be tested for the Breast cancer gene after my mum finishes her chemo. I honestly think about cancer at least every 4 minutes of my day! I own my own business and have 2 young children and the thought of dying and leaving my children and business to my poor husband is so distressing to me. The thing that is the hardest is the physical symptoms but for me my doctor knows about my mothers diagnosis so won't send me off for unnecessary tests and instead wants me to try yoga my aunty before she found out about the breast cancer had jaw pain arm pain and it was actually the metastic cancer and my jaw aches u have found a lump and still they tell me I'm fine I know if I found out I had cancer u would del with it and make plans to get better but it's the not knowing the waiting and feeling like they are taking too long to diagnose and I will die before they know I have cancer. This has all been made worse as a family friend hat passed away age 30 I am 27 and we both have kids the same age I can honesty say it has been the hardest thing to watch her poor family go on without her I am going crazy this is controlling my life I m glad for also owingy own business as this is a distraction but I am so stressed as my workload does not end I have been given a referral to see a mental health doctor and will let you know how I go I know th doctor is also right in saying you need to make time for yourself I don't make any time for myself and I know this would help
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Hi everyone, just like you all, I am a health anxiety sufferer. For the past 6 years I have been convincing myself that I am have some serious illness that will kill me if not diagnosed. Every few months it is a new disease with a new set of symptoms. Recently a young lady I went to college with was diagnosed with breast cancer at 26 and died in 17 days after her diagnosis because when she found out it was already in its final stages. Of course, this is extremely rare, but all that did was trigger my anxiety and cancer phobia even more. About 2 weeks after she dies i found a palpable node, went to my doc he said i was fine, then a few more popped up all on my neck both sides. I had  3 more docs check, and a ENT, not to mention 2 breast exams, breast ultra sound, ER visit, and chest and abdominal xrays. All blood work is clear, test are normal, but nodes have not gone away. I have allergies, but no other symptoms. I do the whole googling thing which only increases my cancer fears. Then my ENT finally asked if I keep poking them and bothering the nodes, and i said yea about 20 times a day, and he told me I am keeping them enlarged when I do this. Of course I am stil convinced something is wrong some i am going to another ENT. My boyfriend tries to be understanding but really he gets annoyed because he thinks I am healthy. Ughhhh I if only I could convince myself I am fine. This is a horrible way to live and a much tougher battle than people can imagine. I feel your pain eveyrone.
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Avatar_f_tn
I am in the exact same situation as u! Ive been referred for a mole my fear of dying from cancer is unbearable and fear of leaving my 5 children im now convinced that its spread to my throat! I can't keep living like this! My kids are my world!
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Avatar_m_tn
I am 42 and my life has been taken over with health anxiety and fear of certain death recently. My lifelong best friend died of sudden cardiac arrest earlier this year at 41, and he looked perfectly healthy, though he was a diabetic since childhood. It has been about 8 months since he passed. Well about 2 weeks ago I felt like I was having chest pains. After 5 days, I went to the ER. I was cleared, but a cardiologist wanted a follow up, and then ordered a heart catheterization angiogram because I have "risk factors" of diabetes and obesity. I felt like a ticking time bomb that would go off any time. But my angiogram cleared me of any heart worries as my arteries came back perfect. But then my fears went immediately to cancer, and Pancreatic Cancer specifically. I had lost about 25 pounds in 40 days. I have been having stomach rumbles, and mild discomfort and burning sensations in my gut sometimes. I immediately fear the worse and went to my regular doc who suspected gallbladder and ordered an ultrasound, but it came back clear with no stones. So now I'm hinking even more about Pancreatic Cancer. This is maybe the WORST cancer, with an almost certain death sentence. Its the cancer that killed Steve Jobs and Patrick Swayze. It also has almost no symptoms until it is too late. So I get frustrated that women get breast cancer screening mammograms, and men get colon cancer screening after 50, but doctors and insurance companies ignore routine Pancreatic Protocol CTs that could clear you of having such an awful disease, or find it early enough to take action, as was the case with former US Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I myself had a non-contast abdominal CT in mid July before the weight loss that came back normal, but non-contrast CTs are only about 85-90% accurate in finding pancreatic lesions. I have found out all of this in my obsessive googling. The disease sounds like the absolute worst case scenario and I can't stop being afraid of it, even though I've been told how very unlikely it is that I have it. Even if given the clear, just the fact that we will die and all die of something that is likely a disease makes me woinder when and if it will start. the thoughts are obsessive. I have a 5 year old daughter and I know my fears and constant doctor visits are scaring her. I am afraid though that something will be missed, and I will die, and that she will forget me! It horrifies me. Its like living in a nightmare being this way, never at ease. Cancer is so horrible. So horrific. Pancreatic Cancer is the worst of all. Nothing could be worse. It scares me to my bone that it would be missed until it was too late. I take Xanax XR, but it only helps a little, and the thoughts still some and go. The doc says my weight loss is from eating less while I was worried about the heart issue and also my anxiety level being amped way up, even though I haven't been exercising. I ma now obsessed about not losing anymore weight, and wanting to gain weight, even though I am already overweight. I am losing my mind. I feel so unstable I cry all the time. I am a 42 year old man who is a complete basket case. I often wish I had never been born just so I wouldn't have to contemplate and fear my death.
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Avatar_m_tn
I am going thru the same painful experience since my mom died of cancer, all that i can think of is cancerous lumps & tumours in my body, i spend a lot of time looking for lumps in my body and surprisingly i seem to find something somewhere everyday..its driving me crazy but a bit relieved to know that i am not alone!!
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Avatar_f_tn
Oh gosh I'm crying my eyes out reading all these post on here I've actually found a medial condition for what I keep doing and have done for almost a year now and that is health anxiety.like all you I've got at the min lung cancer throat cancer bowel cancer I've a dogy heart and irritable bowel syndrome and I'm going to die of all that next week.this is taking over my life I get panic attacks which I know I bring on myself every little ailment I get its cancer and I'm going to die.sone days are better than others I find it very hard to plan the future I've 2 young boys who I fear are going to grow up with out me cause I'm going to die right I'm riddled with cancer it's awful I weight myself everyday to see if there's any weight loss I do some proding around looking for lumps I can't watch anything on the tv to do with cancer I like some of you can't go doctors as I fear the worst I realy don't know where all this has stemed from atall it's ruining my life.thanks.x
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Avatar_m_tn
I am 29 and just found out I had skin cancer. I had it removed and all is good. I have a nice scar on my chest but am cancer free. I now however have talked myself into thinking that I have lung failure, torn my muscle in my breast, popped my implant, had a tumor in my armpit, had cancer in my armpit that was running down my arm, heart failure, blood diseases. Breathing problems, dizzy, brain failure, you name it, I've had it. To be clear, I've had blood tests done (still working on that fear, the doctor said all was normal but I don't believe him so I am having a second opinion) all is normal, I've had ultra sounds on my breasts and armpit and they found nothing, my breathing is great, lungs are clear, everything is normal and healthy with me. I am seeing a shrink. I have a hard time believing her at times but I am hoping that after this second opinion of my bllod work comes back that if all is normal then I may (God I hope so) be able to get my life back. I hate this feeling and I am TERRIFIED that I am pushing my family away and don't want my 6 year old to see him mommy losing her mind.
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Avatar_m_tn
I to have this and remember it first started with a hemorrhoid that in my mind was colon cancer despite every dr telling me it wasn't. Finally a colonoscopy confirmed it wasn't for me. Right now I have what I call a bump on my tongue (wife says it looks like my tongue and nothing else) well I of course am convinced it is oral cancer.  Mind you I have never smoked, never done snuff, almost never drink and I am 31 and have no family history of cancer.  My odds are like 1 in a 1,000,000 if even that high but in my mind I am that one. Has anybody tried any meds or anything that helps. I always say I wish I was that simple minded person that didn't care to Google symptoms or much less care.  These are only two examples of mine but once this is cleared tomorrow (by cleared I mean dr telling me nothing is wrong) then I am sure it will be something else.  I even tell myself to stop looking for things to be wrong but we all know that is almost impossible.
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This started a few years ago for me.  I changed into a high stress occupation and the anxieties started cropping up.  Heart disease (I could FEEL the inefficient pumping, once the Internet directed me to look for it), lung cancer (ex smoker with a recurring cold, which naturally couldn't be the viruses my kids brought home from daycare), kidney and liver disease, RABIES (picked up something a wild animal had chewed on) and a variety of other serious and terrifying conditions.  Today I got a diagnostic mammogram after noticing a lump.  Turned out to be cysts, so boy was I relieved to be wrong again.  I had this uncanny, unnerving feeling that I was about to hear horrible news, and everything felt surreal.  I think the medics think I'm a basket case...or am I being paranoid?

This anxiety is debilitating.  I don't feel confident in my future and am too often saddened by the thought of leaving my kids.  I wish I didn't immediately run to the worst case scenario and constantly "intuit" mortal danger.  I'm considering volunteering to work with cancer or terminally ill patients.  Maybe being around people who are REALLY dealing with these issues will be beneficial, for them and for me.  
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I just posted above.  Forgot to mention that the one thing I DO have is "pre-cancer" on a patch of skin on my forehead.  I've seen a dermatologist and am treating it.  Ironically, I am not really worried about it and am pretty sure it's going to be fine.  I just can't seem to handle anything else that well.
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Avatar_f_tn
The fear of cancer has been with me since I was young.  Back in the day, I used to read a medical encyclopedia that my family had.  I gradually got over the fear, but when I turned 40, I was diagnosed with a very aggressive stage 3 ovarian cancer.  I am 2 years from diagnosis and on continuous chemo for my first recurrence.  However, despite all of these bad things, I am still living life. Still working and doing what I enjoy.  Cancer is a nightmare for sure, but it can be sucessfully treated.  In my case, I can't be cured but I am keeping it stable.  Yoo would be surprised how strong you can be when confronted with something as scary as cancer.
Wishing you many blessings!
Kim
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how do you deal with that. Right now I had floaty  things in my urine now I think I have kidney or bladder cancer. This *****
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Reading your post reminds me so much of what I am going through.  In October I decided I should go for a check up since I hadn't been there for a while.  Also my bowl habits had changed so I wanted to bring that to his attention.  He ordered some blood work, referred me to a gastro doctor and did his examination.  He noticed that my neck was swollen on one side so he ordered an ultrasound.  I made an appointment to get my results.  He said I had nodules on my thyroid and a rather large one.  He then went on to tell me my cholesterol was high and tried to tell me what not to eat but honestly I didn't hear anything after "rather large nodule".  Well let me tell you the internet was not my friend.  All I did was worry until I found out it was a cyst.  Then my gastro doctor did her exam and found a lump.  Of course all I thought of was Farrah Fawcett.  After my colonoscopy it turned out to be benign polyps.  After that went to the ER with severe stomach pain.  After testing they found nothing.  Now on to my next problem I have a painful lump in the back of my head near my ear and low and behold I get an MRI next week and of course I am freaking out.  I think all this worrying is gonna kill me if nothing else does first.  Every time I get done with one with worrying about one  illness another one shows it's ugly head.  My family has had it with me.  I am constantly thinking of my mortality and I can't imagine what would happen if they actually diagnosed me with a horrible disease.  Hopefully this will be my last test for a while.
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I have been going through this for about a week.  I live with 4 cats who I am allergic to, who if I am in the same room with with start sneezing and get watery eyes.  For the past couple months, I have had sort of a wheeze.  I am pretty sure it is coming from my throat and not my chest and this is absolutely an allergy symptom.  However I recently saw a family friend who had been diagnosed with lung cancer (a man in his 60's who was a long time smoker and had previous cancers)  I have then become obsessed with my wheeze being either lung or throat cancer.  I have done about 10,000 google searches, the thought of going to to the doctors to get it looked at scares the hell out of me.  I have been dealing with panic attacks this entire week, feelings of my heart and body racing, numbness in my feet and hands, total loss of appetite, insomnia, constant stomach gurgling and diahrrea.  In the past couple days I have done better with the anxiety, I have stopped the cyrptic google searches, been much more relaxed, no major panic attacks, but the insomnia is still there and the appetite hasn't come back fully.  Just the thought of getting into bed brings up anxiety now.  I have been taking benadryl to both help with the cat allergies and to help put me to sleep.  This past week, I have rarely felt tired on my own, and the benadryl helps to force me to get some sleep because I know without sleep the anxiety is going to get worse again, if anyone has any tips for being able to end the insomnia it is one of my final hurdles to conquor.
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I have health anxiety. Pretty much about everything and it's continually getting worse because up until two weeks ago I thought I had throat cancer. It started with a lump sensation in my throat and I went to my pcp for it. She figured it was an infection and gave me antibiotics. Two weeks later I went back with the feeling still there. She suggested I wait a month before going to see an ENT. I agreed, but as soon as I got home I made an appointment with one that specializes in head and neck cancer. Before I got to go to the appointment I went to the ER twice because I had myself convinced it was cancer and just needed a doctor to say it. The first ER physician I seen said I had a ear infection and told me to come back in 48 hours if I wasn't better. Well of course I wasn't so I went back and told that doctor my fears. He did a CT scan, blood work, throat swab, and they all came back fine. I was relieved and okay until about 24 hours later when my anxiety came back and I was freaking out again. Fast forward a couple days through depression, crying, and constant googling that changed my diagnosis from throat cancer to tonsil cancer, to my ENT appointment. He said everything looked good and I have cryptic tonsils. Great! He said gargle with salt water and come back in three weeks. . . I went back in one week. He put the scope down my throat and said my throat was inflamed from acid reflux. He said it's most definitely not cancer and to stop worrying about it. I was doing great for about a week and than I changed my fiber supplements for my IBS and I started having abdominal discomfort. From then on my self diagnosis was pancreatic cancer, ovarian cancer, stomach cancer, leukemia, and most recently some kind of lymphoma. My grandmother even paid $230 for me to have blood work done. I'm driving myself completely nuts and making myself miserable. I'm talking to a therapist and it's helpful but not as much as I'd hoped. This phobia is ruining my life!
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It was both sad and validating to read so many of the comments here. This has been the story of my life for as long as I can remember. I'm 48 now. The thing that bothers me most, aside from the time I've lost to worry, is the unnecessary testing I've had done. So many invasive tests and CT scans, which have ultimately exposed me to radiation that can actually cause some of the things I'm worried about. :( Reassurance never lasts, and fear just raises its ugly head time and time again. I wish someone knew how to cure this.

Shakespeare wrote, "Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once." I completely understand that quote.

I wish you all well.
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Avatar_m_tn
The anxiety is eating me alive. I'm literally convinced I have every type of cancer I have ever heard of. It's completely unreasonable...unless it's not, and I actually do have some sort of cancer, like primary unknown that has spread through my whole body. I'm terrified of going to the doctor because the possibility that they could tell me it is true is worse than thinking I'm just filled with cancer. The thought of going through treatments and suffering terrifies me. My dad had a higher stage cancer when I was in sixth grade, and i'm not sure if this has come from that or not. The earliest I remember dealing with it is in sixth grade, I had a little bump on my forehead that didn't feel like a pimple(still there to this day!) and I remember the fear that I had then. but the past year or so have been a horrible time. I think the anxiety is making it all worse. Literally, like some of you mentioned, one thing goes away, and almost immediately, another pops up. The cramps I get when I have my period are unbearable. they can't possibly be normal. Now, I have a sever vaginal itch, that I don't think is a yeast infection...so guess where my  mind is.... CANCER. it's such an ugly word. it's such an ugly thing. I hate it. I always want to sleep because this causes a depression, and plus, if i'm sleeping, usually it doesn't invade my dreams. Sometimes it does, and I wake up sweating, and shaky. Why does this have to be such a life controlling thing. I don't want to go on anxiety medication because i've heard they are addicting. but i NEED relief from this. it's ruining my life. It has me afraid to have sex because i'm afraid something is wrong down there. It has me afraid to basically live. The thought of going away to college in the fall is even being ruined by the thought of how life will be when I can't just sit in my room and cry over all of this.
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Hello...  I have been reading so many of these stories and it makes me so sad because I am the same way and I just want to enjoy my life.  I actually have had cancer so it is a real anxiety for me.  I have had severe stomach anxiety for the past several weeks and now that it has settled I am having so much burning in my upper stomach.  So guess where my mind goes.... the "C" word.   I do however go to the doctor when I feel this way.  I have made an appointment for this burning thing and cant get in for a couple of weeks.  Where is my mind going to go for 2 weeks?   I am hoping it is just ulcer symptoms.  I hope you are feeling better.  I have to tell myself to "let go and let God take charge"....  
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Oh my god, that was like reading my life, as I sit here now, im convincing myself im in the later stages of a deadly cancer, in my case it's usually lung cancer, I tell kyself there's no point going to the doctor or hospital because it's advanced and too late, sometimes I convince myself im going to have a heart attack, ive been the doctors for anxiety, im on anti depressants, tried beta blockers, actually thinking of trying a councillor now, its getting so bad, my chest burns, sometimes my left arm hurts, google told me it was angina or heart attack lol, I wish I could go back to the old me, I really do,hope we all find some peace with this horrible condition, I feel like im actually making myself ill and if I do get cancer, I will have given it to myself with all the worrying about it
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I am relieved to see that I am not the only one who suffers from this horrible anxiety.  Every pain or abnormality I get I'm sure is some form of cancer.  As a former smoker (3 years), I fear getting lung cancer.  Like many of the other posters, I've self diagnosed myself with throat cancer, lung cancer, oral cancer, etc.  I've gone as far as having a CAT scan which was prescribed by my doctor to assure me I don't have lung cancer.  I also suffer from occasional panic attacks, but they've subsided to almost 0 over the last few years.  What may make it so difficult is that we all probably believe that if we get cancer it will be terminal.  I wish I could live without this fear, but until I can at least it's somewhat of a comfort to know I'm not alone.
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I am obsessed with the fact I have some sort of cancer.. I can't live my life as I want, it's bringing me down big time! Been going on for about 4 or 5 months now. Not been to the doctors about one symptom just in case it's something bad, I'd be scared to find out. Sounds ridiculous when i try & explain it to somebody, they tell me I'm imagining it. I swear I have Breast cancer, but as times gone on, I'm starting to develop symptoms which is really frustrating. I just need to forget about it & move on with my daily life! Easier said than done I know but I know how everyone feels. The mind is a powerful thing!
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OMG, you have no idea how comforting it is to know I'm not the only person who feels like this!  I have had major anxiety issues after having my second child in december 2012.  My issues are health anxiety and insecurities.  About a month ago my heath anxieties reached a whole new level when I began having horrible abdominal cramping in my lower left pelvic region along with nausea and diarrhea.  So what did i do....I googled it, and what is one of the things that  comes up??? Ovarian cancer of course!  I freaked out, I'm 26 years old with a 3 year old child and an 18 month old child. I do not intent on leaving them anytime soon.  I went to the ER convinced I was dying and after 45 minutes of talking to nurses and then the doctor I was given a pregnancy test (which came back negative) and then sent home because I just had a intestinal bug or something.  A day later I called the obgyn and had a vaginal ultrasound scheduled.  I was so worked up about something horrible being found on the ultrasound that I actually had to have my mom bring me to my appointment.  Ultrasound was clear, no cyst or cancer.  I felt better that day but then things got worse that night.  I started having no appetite and I was feeling weak and of course those are symptoms of cancer!  I was sure I had intestinal cancer. I made an appointment with my GP and he said he thought I had a small intestinal infection.  He put me on antibiotics and they worked!!! But even though my pain was gone I still had this fear that something was wrong with me.  My GP said he would authorize a CT Scan or colonoscopy  just to put my mind at ease and I turned it down for fear of something being found!!!  He said I am a healthy young woman and to relax.  I have no idea why I have gone into such a panic mode, I am seeing an endocrinologist and getting my hormone levels checked because it is strange that it happened after having my second child.  I hope someone can help me, even if it's a therapist.  To constantly wonder if I have some life threatening illness is an awful feeling.  
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you so much for your post!  I wish you all the best as you deal with your illness.  You're an inspiration to those of us who are panicked about a disease that we don't even have.  

Warmest wishes!
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you so much for your post!  I wish you all the best as you deal with your illness.  You're an inspiration to those of us who are panicked about a disease that we don't even have.  

Warmest wishes!
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