Fear of mortality

I fear death like many others in this forum. And at this moment this has grown to a full blown anxiety attack which is continuing almost always within myself. I always keep asking myself the same question ‘If one day all of us are going to be reduced to a dead body what is the significance of this life…???’ It is not that this is the first time I am going through such a phase; I have been through similar phases in at least thrice earlier in my life even in my childhood, although I do not remember how I came out of
those phases. The present phase at 25 seems to be the strongest and continuing for more than one month.

This anxiety of death has grown to such an extent that I can’t carry on with anything in my life. I can’t do any work at home and even at office. I spend long times panic stricken sitting alone in office toilet. What makes this problem worse when I realize there is not anything I can do to avoid the subject of my fear…death. What I always tend to do is sleeping at the corner of my home. Due to social, professional and family obligations I have to do many things but strictly I like doing nothing but ponder over the same topic “How can I avoid death…???How can I find a significance of living life…???”

I hate every morning as it reduces another day from my life. I always feel a heavy heart beat beneath my chest. I day dream about the dead bodies of people around me, my near and dear ones and of even myself. The only time I find a beat of peace within my mind is during the night when I spend some quiet hours with my parents and sister at home. I wish those hours could last forever.

It seems to me that life is an illusion and it has no value. I read several religious articles about death and afterlife and also think about them but can believe none. I pray to god if there could have been a life without any sorrow, grief and death. I wish if there could have been a way to conquer death like everything else in life but can’t find any.

Meanwhile this state of mind has started taking a toll on my performances. My parents have come to know that I am going through a depression. They often suspect a girlfriend of profession related problem behind this. I can not properly explain them my state of mind and whenever I try they cannot understand. They are going to take me to the psychiatrists. But I worry how can I will be able to explain all these to psychiatrist…???
I believe no body can help me to get out of this state except god…Does go exist…???Is there anybody who can help me…???

[Sourav256]

Sorry for the double post...

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

hi Sourav, yes there is a GOD and he can help you . pray to him and get in the word. but along with him ,you can take meds to help calm you down and maybe get you back on the right track. have you sen a dr and got any meds? i think going to a psychiatrist is a great ideal and why dont you print this out what you wrote and let him/her read it ,than you can go from there you put it into words on a paper great so if you cant explain than print and take . there is life after this one thats going to be far better but while you are here you need to live each day happy and full, death is a scarey thing i know i have though of it and i know i dont want to die no one does but, we must all and so we look to this life and enjoy, you need to not think of death but life and even after this life since you do belive in GOD you need to know its not the end theres a better life waiting on you . so go to dr and talk and pray to our Lord and we are here to help you if we can. take care Barbara

[Sourav256]

Hi Barbara, your speech passifies me to an extent. Parents are taking me to the psycriatrists tomorrow and I shall try to do as you say.

But can anybody give me proof there is the GOD who is for all good. Can anybody give me any proof that there is something beyond death...??? I wonder how did you get to believe in these concepts. I have grown up by believing in not believing. I only believed what is evident.How can I get to believe in these concepts without any evidence...???

I wish all the good to you and your family.

[Sourav256]

Hi Barbara, your speech passifies me to an extent. Parents are taking me to the psycriatrists tomorrow and I shall try to do as you say.

But can anybody give me proof there is the GOD who is for all good. Can anybody give me any proof that there is something beyond death...??? I wonder how did you get to believe in these concepts. I have grown up by believing in not believing. I only believed what is evident.How can I get to believe in these concepts without any evidence...???

I wish all the good to you and your family.

[Sourav256]

Sorry again, for the double post.

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

lol np with doubles, well if you grew up npt beliving it makes it harder but if you get a real simple bible and read it it will help or go to a church close by they can answer your questions. i grew up beliving in God i have seen in my life where he has done for me and my kids. if i didnt belive in God and the great life awaiting us i would have no hope .i would be very sad and be like you . because i dont want to think once my love ones are gone i will never see them again , no i belive i will the book bible tells me i will and i belive it , if there is no God how did we get here, how is the earth just sitting in space spining just right for us to live , only one reason our God made us and put it there . it can get deep so you need a person who has study this . please know there is life after death and you have lots to live for on earth, your young and got lots life left enjoy it

[suzi-q]

After my parents passed away I also questioned our existence and why we were here.  Of course their is no physical proof of afterlife and you have to turn to prayer.  Have you ever gone to a church to see what their beliefs are?  Maybe speaking to a priest?

I read books by John Edward..one specifically, One More Time, which talks about how he communicates with those who have passed on.  Even if you doubt that people can communicate it would still be a good book for you to read.

I also read a book by Sylvia Brown (another medium) and the book was called The Soul's Perfection.  Although I do question her unconventional beliefs, I found that in that book I found the meaning to why we are here and what we are doing for God.  I would also suggest this book.

Of course, this doesn't mean you need to believe these words, but I think that a truer meaning with come out for you to help you find your way and your purpose here.

I think seeing a psychiatrist is a wonderful idea.  I am sure he has dealt with similar feelings before and may be able to help you figure out your feelings and what you are actually looking for.

Best to you...and GOD BLESS!

[OneScaredBuckeye]

No, there is no proof that either God or an afterlife exists and no one will be able to give you physical proof.  That's why it's called faith.  Do you love your family?  Do you cherish your life?  If so, can you offer us physical proof?  No, you can't.  And it's the same with faith in God.  We know He's there, just as we know we love our families, but we can't offer hard "proof" for the existence of either.

It's perfectly normal to be concerned and fear the end of this life.  I think every thinking person does from time to time.  I do, too.  However, it's not normal to obsesses about it and let it interfere with the quality of your life.  Remember, life, whether there would be a God or not, is for living.  And you truly can add days to your life by living the way we're supposed to, i.e., eating properly, getting adequate exercise, reducing stress, not smoking or drinking more than a few alcoholic drinks per week, getting adequate sleep, etc.  By doing this, you can be adding days, weeks, month, even years to your life, rather than thinking that each day is one day less.

I, too, think seeing a psychiatrist is a wonderful idea.  I hope he can help you to wake up each morning invigorated and looking forward to the fact that you're alive.  Remember, life is for living and enjoying.  God gives us this time to learn and to enjoy.

Good luck to you.

[Barbarella]

Look and think how your body is made.  Your heart pumps so blood will flow through your body.  Your kidneys are made to wash out the poisenous stuff out of your body,  sex feels good for a reason, if it wouldn't we would have never multiplied, your lungs help you breath, every organ in your body was figured out in details, every cell, only god could have figured all that out, no way did our detailed body come up by accident, its not by accident that sex feels good so we will multiply, so people, especially men get aroused to have sex.  All this did not happen by accident.  

If you live a decent life, ask god for forgiveness should you do something not so decent, you don't have to worry about the after life.  God is a forgiving god and I do not think that he would let us burn in hell for eternity.

[Sourav256]

Thanks a lot to all u for your overwhelming response.

Whatever I visited the psycriatist and tried to explain him my state of my mind but I could not do it the way heartfluttersflyawayplz suggested. I shall read the books suziq suggested.

I wish ur believe in GOD and afterlife  were true by each and every word and I could belive in those concepts from the bottom of my heart.

But sometime I ask myselves had there been GOD who is for all the good why there is so much suffering in this world...??? Why children starve to death...??? Why people die without treatment...??? Why there is muder...??? Why there is war...???
I only wish none of this happen anymore.

GOD bless u.

[Sourav256]

In my last comment I addressed all of u not only heartfluttersfly

[Sourav256]

I just seen u r suffering from anxiety. I wonder what may cause you to suffer from anxiety...???

My humble advice before taking any medicine dig within your mind to find out what makes you anxious and then if possible try to eliminate the cause of your anxiety.

[audhol]

Look around - God is everywhere! This world did not explode into being....it's so silly I cant believe its taught in schools......that would be like throwing up a ton of bricks into the air and them landing in the shape of a house.   God had a purpose for you in life whether or not you believe it!  Ask him to help you carry your burden - "Ask and you shall receive"  

[April2]

You ask what is the meaning of life? As a believer, I believe Jesus when he said simply it is to love each other and love the Lord our God. If we could all learn to love each other unconditionally like Jesus, we wouldn't have the wars and abuse in this world! Like the others, I'd say read the Bible but read the New Testament. Get to know who Jesus is. I'd also recommend reading "The Case For Creation" or "The Case For Christianity" or "The Case For Christ" by Lee Strobel. He was an atheist who set out to disprove God, Jesus, and Christianity. As a reporter, he interviewed many highly regarded scientists, biologists, etc. He finally came to the conclusion that Jesus was who he says he is and that God is definately real! They're pretty good books. He did a lot of research.
But can you prove God? No, not really. God won't let Himself be put in a box. There's always going to be some mystery, some things we don't understand. But I have seen miracles time and time again in my life and others. I've seen answers to prayers answered always. I've seen things happen in such a way, in perfect timing that it couldn't have been coincidence. God says He can be seen in His creation. Look around you at the beauty of this world. Even how perfect a flower is. How about the fact that every single person that has been alive and will still be born has a different set of finger prints and DNA? Could that be coincidence? How could all that perfection happen from chaos.
You ask why there's suffering in the world. Good question. We live in a fallen world with fallen people who have free will to choose to do evil or good. If we had perfection in this world, we'd already be in Heaven. Our real world awaits us in Heaven. That is where our spirits long to be.
I believe we are put on this earth to learn to give, have compassion, love, sacrifice. We wouldn't know how to do all that if we had never suffered. Think about that. To the person who has suffered, it makes them more compassionate to others who are suffering in simular ways. If we had never suffered, we'd grow lazy, self centered and uncaring. Suffering actually builds character. Of course, no one wants that type of lesson! But we all go through it to some extent. The good news is we have someone who is willing to go through it with us and promises to never leave us. He promises a peace that surpasses all understanding. That person is Jesus Christ. Do a study on him someday. He was a very intriguing, radical person actually for his time. He accepted women followers (unheard of in his time). He refused to judge the people caught in sin before him but rather forgave them. He sat and ate with the sinners, the prostitues, the tax evaders. Every human life is precious and that is the example he showed us. I hope any of this helps! The more I've gotten to know the Lord, the more I love Him. He's my everything. I don't know what I'd do without Him.
Blessings to you!

[azwo]

Next time a Jehovah's Witness comes to your door.....let them in! It's the truth and nothing but the truth. If you heart is in the right place and you need answers they can help you find them for yourself. All other religions have left me in a state of wonder. The JW's teach from the Bible and nothing but the word of God. I have anxiety and all the crazy thoughts that go with it and through their organization I have hope and happiness. All the cult **** you have heard of them is not true and I can't tell you enough how bad we need God in this horrible world. I am not fooling myself anymore and none of you need to keep fooling yourselves either.

Trust me, I have researched everything I have been reading from every Bible under the sun, this is the truth! Pray for the right direction and it will come to you....that's what happened to me :) knock knock

[djajt]

one quote - "so afraid of dying that I never took the time to live"

Believe in yourself Sourav256, that is where it all starts :)

[Wilso38]

I'm going through a little bit of fear of mortality at the moment, with my own probably best described as a mid-life crisis (I'm 44). I may have to have a chat with a counsellor about it, and it was one of the reasons that I did an internet search, and found this discussion. But instead of finding people with good ideas, and experience in with the feelings themselves, here I've seen a whole pile of religious gobbledegook, which completely ignores the fact the religion itself was constructed as a result of fear of death. What better way of allaying the fear of the end of life, than inventing another one.

But what I've already done, is try to take some positive steps. It gave me impetus to quit smoking. I didn't get married until the age of 40, so have 2 young children (1 and 3). I'm trying to absorb and treasure every moment I've got with my children. I'm hoping the experience will push me to be a better father. I've also discussed my feelings with my wife. She's a wonderful person, and I've told her that what ever time I've got in this life, I'm glad that I've got her to share it with. I tell her every day how much I love her, how much I treasure her, and I try to absorb every moment that I'm with her. So I'm hoping the experience will also make me a better husband.

You're only 25. You could use this experience to become a better person.
To do better with your life than you may have done. To one day marry, and be a better husband than you may have been. To have children, and be a better father than you may have been. You can squeeze every drop, out of every moment that you've got in this world.
Or you can spend the rest of life on your knees, praying to a magical fairy that may not exist, in the desperate hope of getting "more life", after this one is done.

[Notbeleiver]

I also fear death. i'm only 29, but time is moving so fast. I don't believe in GOD and nothing of sort. If there is god, he is the worst being in universe for letting women be raped, people dying in hunger, infants dying etc etc. If I die and i have to go to him - no thank you, that preview what is happening on earth is enough for me, i don't want to see his version of  "PARADISE" Recently i read that scientists are able to extend life of fly 30 X. I know that our body structure is million time complicated than that but still, this is something i can believe, not SOMEBODY in sky. Many scientists believe that aging is form of sickness. There is something in our genetic code that makes us grow when we are young, then we reach our peak and then we start aging. If they can pinpoint this hormone or whatever it is, we could stay young forever. Thats what i want to believe. We are sick, thats why we age and die. People made up god because they needed order and if you can't touch the guy but still have to fear him...very strong psychology.

[Emily_MHModerator]

This forum is not a place to debate any religious or spiritual views, or the existence of a God..  Some believe in a God, and find great comfort in that, others don't, and are just fine.  We allow people to share their faith, as long as that sharing falls into the topic of the forum and particular thread.  We also allow non-believers to share their views, under the same guidelines.

However, it is important that no one insult the other, as MedHelp is safe and supportive for everyone.  

Emily

[rls27]

Death teaches us that life is important. That we havn't got forever to achieve our goals. Set goals and pursue them. There doesn't have to be some deep rooted meaning to everyone's life nor do all your goals have to be awe inspiring. Enjoy it the best you can, be kind to others, and strive for balance in life.

If you live a fulfilled life, then by the time you reach old age you won't be holding on so tight. You'll have few regrets and you'll be able to accept it much better. Right now, you're thinking with the mind of a 25 year old that's checking out early, so of course there will be panic. Same as a 40 or 50 year old. Also, as you get older, you lose loved ones, and to me, it makes it a little easier to let go when you've got less and less people in this life to hold onto.

Meanwhile, between now and 60 years from now, fill your bucket and live life to the fullest. The more you live, the less you'll fear.  

[rls27]

FWIW, I was one of the biggest hypochondriac's around. I still cope with health anxiety, but I don't allow it to define me. It's just something I learn to live with. Try to find the humor in things. I like Woody Allen's philosophy on death..."I'm not a afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens".

Don't worry so much, you're not alone.

[nursegirl6572]

Wonderfully stated rls.  Awesome post!

[tjrusert]

I fear living more than dying.  Life is hard. No matter what your religious beliefs, death is peace at last.  No more pain.  No more tears. No more fears.  No earthquakes or tsunamis.  I happen to believe in Heaven.  But even if I didnt I would look at death as peace. I dont believe in taking your own life.  Please dont read that into this.  And please dont think about doing that.  It just takes a lot of the scariness out of death.

[CesarX]

For my part, I can say that this feeling of depletion of the meaning of life due death also happend to me. What I found most strange was the fact that death is a taboo topic and had the impression that there was an elephant (a brontosaurus, perhaps) in the middle of the room and despite all the discomfort caused by this huge animal, no one had courage to mention it! Later I realized that people who do not speak or do not think about death are equally (or more) panicked then I. They only have found in religion a placebo  (with all due respect to believers) that satisfies them. But this placebo is highly dangerous today, because there is evidence that allow us to believe that something can be done in relation to aging (http://goo.gl/RHXJ) and even death (http://goo.gl/9LQk and http://youtu.be/FZZ1esiWMuM). But in their striving to gain psychological comfort moving away the idea of death, people give up seeking a real and objective solution to the problem of death.

With transhumanist ideas I found the attitude which I'm convinced now is the healthiest and most courageous: instead of putting my head in a hole and pretend things are fine, try to do objectively something (like http://goo.gl/iSguP) about this unpleasant aspect of human existence. I do recommend the movie "Transcendent Man", which approaches well the question of death. This approach (transhumanism) can actually work with people more scientifically demanding, who are not satisfied simply with religious beliefs or philosophical rationalizations. Life becomes an adventure, a game, a bet.